บท 477: The real problem
Soundless silence as the words disappeared.
"I don't deserve your liking."
The confession contained complex emotions, which made Rui forget to breathe and stare at him blankly.
Shinichi closed his eyes, thinking, but also gathering his scattered emotions.
"Perhaps, that's all..."
After a while, he opened his mouth.
His voice was a little hoarse. Shinichi quickly adjusted his voice.
"Not only to you, but also to other people who like me. After I return, I will also look for an opportunity to say these words to them… After all, if I continue taking risks, things will only get worse."
He rubbed his cheek. After removing the stiffness on his face, he showed Rui a smile.
"Sorry, you must feel uncomfortable after saying that to you, right? But I'm the same way. The girls I love like me, not just one or two. Things like this really make me not know. What to do."
Shinichi seemed to want to lighten the mood with a frivolous tone.
But Rui had no intention of joking, and spoke with difficulty.
"I'm just like you, I don't understand what love is, let alone falling in love. I never thought about it."
"When you face feelings that you don't know how to deal with, you are confused and entangled, trying to find the answer, but it will only give you a headache, making you feel more uncomfortable and confused."
Rui took a breath, her lips trembling.
"This feeling is really annoying... If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have this kind of feeling. Maybe like you said, we liked you but didn't get anything in return, and we would be jealous of each other, and eventually give up on liking you, are those all painful memories when I look back on them?"
"Painful memories..."
Shinichi looked at the side of her face and forced a shy smile.
"Sorry, it's all because of me..."
"You definitely think so. Only you would think so!"
Rui interrupts Shinichi's apology.
Rui raised her head, with a look of discomfort and self-blame in her eyes that made Shinichi slightly stunned.
"Are you stupid!"
Shinichi froze in place.
"Say this kind of thing, won't it just make those of us who like you feel that this is all our fault! Who wants the person we like to feel this kind of pressure! Is it worth it? Obviously no one thinks so except you!"
Her tone was clearly impulsive, but instead her eyes were disappointed.
"Please, think carefully... If it weren't for you, how would I know that loving someone is a happy thing..."
What Rui wants isn't an answer, she just wants to feel better and stop being a coward.
"...Perhaps, that's all."
Shinichi sighed slightly.
"Thank you for your comfort, it makes me feel much better… Come back, the wind is getting cold."
He stood straight, his expression as calm as ever, without any emotion at all.
Rui was still holding onto his sleeve.
Shinichi looked at her strangely.
"What is it? You still want to stay?"
Rui lowered her head and shook it silently.
Shinichi looked at the thin shirt Rui was wearing, and after confirming that he couldn't wear a coat to avoid catching a cold, he sat back helplessly.
"Forget it, risk my life to accompany you. It's all your fault if I catch a cold tomorrow... I'll stay here for another ten minutes and then come back. I have to get up early tomorrow."
"Enough..."
Before Shinichi could sit still, he heard her whisper these words.
"What?"
"I said enough!"
Rui exerted force with her hands, forcing Shinichi to the ground, then climbed up his body, pressing her hands on either side of his head.
Before he could react, Shinichi was crushed by someone on the beach.
Even though there was sand behind him, after being pushed to the ground by Rui with all her strength, his back still hurt a little from the impact, and Shinichi made a sound with difficulty.
"Rui, you..."
"You are so gentle towards others, why can't you be nicer to yourself? Why can't you be more careful?"
"Seriously, think for yourself! Don't you have anything you want to do?!"
Shinichi was silent.
"Are you saying that I am selfless? Then you are wrong."
"It was because I was too selfish and enjoyed the feeling of being liked by them as well as the ambiguous and interesting relationship that made me hesitate to this day, making everything more complicated."
"It was to resolve my own mistakes, so even though I knew it would make them angry, I still had to make the decision arbitrarily."
"Because of my clumsiness and willfulness, I couldn't hold her hand tightly when she reached out, couldn't hug her tightly when she ran away, and couldn't seriously respond to her feelings."
"In the final analysis, it all depends on me, I say this, do you understand?"
Rui gritted her teeth and grabbed Shinichi by the collar.
"So what? It's all their business! If you think you are selfish, just do it if you want! Don't worry about what other people think! Wouldn't it be nice to be a self-righteous sinner!"
Shinichi didn't flinch and looked directly into her trembling eyes.
"Some people say they will wait for me, but I can't guarantee they can wait. Who will be responsible for the effort and time wasted on me during this period? And who will compensate?"
"Do you think I have never been confessed to by someone else before? But now when facing them, I can't reject them directly like before. I can't tell them not to come near me anymore. Neither of them can stop interacting with me and treat each other like strangers—"
"Did you hear that clearly? I give them hope!"
"I'm the one who doesn't want to leave them..."
"It's not easy to be a fellow educator, it's not easy to go through difficulties with these five people, it's not easy to be accepted by everyone in the student council, and there is a place full of laughter, and that is finally getting to know fake people like me. The maid who could only endure in front of others finally got a gentle, beautiful and wise little sister…"
"Obviously I'd be happier if I didn't know anything. If I just pretend to be stupid, I can live a pleasant everyday life... Don't you think I know? Do you think I don't want to?"
Shinichi stood up and pressed his forehead against Rui's, looking at her intently from a very close distance.
"That's just because I know I can't do something like that!"
"Knowing that the apple was poisonous, I was still waiting for the princess to eat the apple, so that I could kiss her, sleep with her, and enjoy happiness with her. Do you want me to be a bastard prince?!"
"You said-"
Facing Rui's inexplicable gaze, Shinichi was depressed and the words gradually lost their power.
"Why is it so hard to protect the people I love..."
His shoulders slumped, and he fell back onto the beach.
Lying on his back, he looked up at the vast starry sky with dim eyes,.
A drop of warm water dripped from the edge of his eye socket.
Shinichi narrowed his eyes. It wasn't raining, and his current mood wasn't suitable for crying. So this...
"Very good."
Rui lowered her watery eyes and shed tears without sadness.
One drop, two drops...
Instead she smiled slightly.
"Is this your real problem?"
Shinichi looked at her confused.
Rui loosened her grip on Shinichi's collar for a moment, then tightened it quickly and lifted her upper body up.
Moist with tears, she pressed her cheek against him, closed her eyes, and kissed him gently, mouth to mouth.
สถานะพลังงานรายสัปดาห์
-- การจัดอันดับด้วยพลัง 
-- หินพลัง