บท 31: A Venomous Heart and Woeful Hands
Capcis' POV:
It was a lively night.
It was also a busy night for me, with all the thinking I'd been doing when I would normally be soundlessly sleeping.
What happened to the two of them? Was it an unfortunate accident, or was it a planned murder? If it was a murder, would I be an accomplice? If it were an accident, would I still be an accomplice? Why was I even thinking about whether or not it was an accident in the first place? Quis wasn't the type to have murder on his mind. Even though he never said it, I could tell that he was against violence. In that way, we are birds of a feather.
Rain fell down onto my back as I walked along the dirt path alongside the others that had been suddenly woken up. We walked in silence, the news of Pulchra's death and Quis' near death still fresh on our minds. Ms. Attu led us to the Cultivation School where an announcement would take place with a smooth stride. She must have had a lot on her mind as well with how close she was to the two of them.
I was too shocked to cry. It was so weird, how could someone you had seen just hours ago be dead now? It was so sudden, too sudden. She wouldn't be coming back, ever. She was gone, permanently. I hated it. But... at least Quis was safe. That in itself was a work of miracles. From what I heard, he was on the brink of death. If the guards hadn't gotten there when they did, there would have been more than only Fire Genesis Essence spread across the area. It truly made you wonder why some thought he could actually have killed Pulchra, even though he was almost dead himself.
I noticed that others stopped moving forward, and promptly stopped myself. Next to us was another group of people, the boys who were led by the Magic Arts teacher. He and Ms. Attu looked at each other and then nodded before our groups conjoined and they led us into the Cultivation School.
We went down a path I wasn't familiar with, probably because I hadn't come to this school to do anything other than learn and eat. There were still a lot more facilities in this place that I had never seen, one being the assembly hall which we would be in soon. The doors opened slowly, and a room smaller than I imagined emerged. It was just big enough to hold a table big enough to fit around 50 people, no doubt where the announcement would be taking place.
The teachers led us into a seat before sitting down themselves and waiting in silence. Not a word had been spoken since Ms. Attu filled us on all of the details, so the sound of him speaking was very loud even though its volume wasn't.
"We are all here then?" The man who just walked into the room sat down in the chair with a nonchalant attitude. It kind of made me angry to see how uncaring he was of the situation.
He leaned back in his chair as he spoke without much care, "Good, let's begin this announcement then. As you all know, we are in quite a sticky situation. Not only is Pulchra dead, but now I have the entire L'Amour family breathing down my back. They want someone to blame, namely, Quis. What do we think about this?"
Bang!
I felt a vibration on the table as a loud bang introduced itself to my ears. Instinctively, I turned my head to see what caused such a sound. It was Iusus, and by how hard she was clenching her teeth... she was definitely angry.
"What do I think about it?! I say good riddance! He is an outsider, one who obviously is now a murderer! I will be damned if we treat him any other way!-"
Bang!
Another loud bang echoed throughout the chamber, causing all of the heads present to snap back at the fist that was stuck on the table. My eyes moved up from the fist and took a look at the body it belonged to. It wasn't surprising for a young student to have such an outburst... but really Ms. Attu?
"You fucking skank! You would sell out Quis just because of your bad encounter with him?! There is just no possibility of him actually committing murder! Especially against Pulchra! They were so madly in love, I was surprised they hadn't done it in the school restrooms already!"
A loud bellow exited Ms. Attu's mouth following her aggressive table slam, and how loud a bellow it was. It was known by now that she had some anger problems, but she never used such foul language before, especially against a student. If this didn't show how angry she really was with the whole situation I don't know what would.
"Oh yea?! They were just soooo in love, huh?! Then how the hell do you explain them being so distant lately?! This reeks of suspicion! Two people who were in a relationship that fell apart meet up again and only one of them comes out alive?! How does that not make Quis a murderer? Just throw him into imprisonment already! No, maybe the death penalty is in order!"
"Oh! So you want proof huh?! Then how about this?! The two of them were found on the cold ground, Pulchra dead and Quis barely alive with a fucking hole in his gut! That hole almost went through his entire body! Do you really think that Quis would do that to himself to make it seem like he was injured as well?! You must have an interesting idea of him then!"
"You know what?! I do in fact! For Sovereign's sake, he's an outsider! Why don't you open your eyes and look at how suspicious that is! He could have come from anywhere! Who is to say he isn't a Demonic Cultivator's kin, just waiting to destroy this sect from the inside?!"
"That whole outsider thing is bullshit and you know it! We are a sect! A sect's purpose is to take in outsiders! And not to mention he has memory loss! Do you have memory loss or something as well?! And for you to suggest he's a Devil's kin! That's real rich coming from you!"
"You fucking peeping whore!-"
"Alright, that's enough. I just asked to get an idea of our thoughts about him, not to start a useless argument. I'm not planning on letting him go that easily." Both of their heads darted to Convir, the one who had just spoken those piercing words, one happy, and one not so much.
Before they were able to say something more, the old teacher that had been silent the entire time calmly spoke up, "Convir, what do you plan to do then? If it were just a normal girl, then it would be easy to sweep it under the rug, but this girl was a product of the L'Amour family. They are too powerful for something like this to be so easily settled."
Convir put his hand on the table, palm side up, and with a slight smirk on his face said, "We'll request for time then. They may have the Sect Leader in their corner, but we both know that man doesn't hold enough power to do whatever he pleases. I may not be the most powerful in the sect, but I am still one of the three Grand Elders in the sect, he can't refuse a request for more time. And he definitely won't be able to refuse when I show him I have contracted the help of some experts. On top of the fact that Quis could become an important member of this sect, it should work."
The old teacher nodded his head, accepting Convir's idea.
This was all too confusing. Pulchra was dead, and all they could think about was solving the aftermath? Couldn't we at least take a second to mourn the death of a loving friend? Even though I despised the idea, I had to speak up.
"U-um, Convir? I don't really... understand. I'm sure this is all important, but... Pulchra had just died. Can't we just take a moment to mourn? I know a lot of people that are hurt by this turn of events, so they deserve some time to think!" My speech got more passionate as it went on. I wasn't sure how, but when talking about this certain subject, I felt a burst of energy that pushed me to become more assertive in my wants.
In the face of my passion-filled speech, Convir simply gave me a shallow smile and said, "I understand your grievances young Capcis, but please do try to understand my situation here. I am the dean of this school, not the funeral director. There is a time and place for everything, and right now we must focus on getting this taken care of. If we don't, well, another one of your friends will be taken away. So just try and wait until the official funeral, ok?"
He said this sweetly, as though he was trying to uplift me instead of making me feel worse. It was strange since he was just so carefree a moment ago, but I didn't dislike it. I needed some comfort right now. So I just slowly nodded at him and let them continue their talk.
"Right then, now that that's out of the way, I will need all of your personal accounts of Quis so I have something more than just cold facts to back up my request of time. You can all go one at a time, let's start with the teachers. Old man?"
Everyone present began to give their opinion on Quis, and surprisingly, besides Iusus, the absent Felferr and Spiravit, and his two friends, everyone's impression of Quis was overall positive. I considered Quis a good friend of mine, so it made me happy to see him well-liked by others as well.
And like that, all of the students were escorted back to the dorms to sleep through whatever remained of the night while the teachers were held back to discuss other matters. I crawled into my bed and closed my eyes. The events of tonight began to lose their shocking nature, allowing my emotions to flow. Tears fell from my face onto the pillow beneath my head as I accepted reality.
She was gone.
___________________________________________________________________________
I was walking along the hallways of the Cultivation School. It was the afternoon after the incident. I had heard that Quis had woken up, but was in a depressed mood. Like so depressed it was really worrying. That was the description I heard Beulus give to Ms. Attu at least. It was making me feel really bad. All I could really think about last night was how I felt, and how sad or upset I was. I didn't even think to consider how bad others might feel, especially Quis.
Quis and Pulchra were beyond a doubt an item. They may have gone through a rough patch, but I knew more than anyone else how close they were. Quis even enlisted my help to get her back on track after the rough treatment he went through because of her. If that wasn't blind love, then I don't know what else it was. He must be devastated. I wouldn't be surprised if he gave up completely.
This thought gave even more purpose to what I was about to do.
Just as everyone was about to leave the building in their normal groups of two to five, I walked in front of them all and turned around to block them from leaving. But after getting everyone's attention, I wasn't able to say what I wanted, instead just silently stood there awkwardly with my legs and arms outstretched.
"Um, Capcis? Would you mind telling me why you are blocking the exit?" Iusus went to my face and said this carefully. I was most scared of how she would react when I told her my plans. Would she punch me right in the face, or maybe she would tie me up to the school's front gate and take her time torturing me, or maybe-! Stop it! Don't you remember what the old teacher said to you? "Don't overthink conversation, just speak."
I took a deep breath and, without overthinking it, loudly said to everyone present, "I-I, I want to help Quis! He's hurting. He's hurting much more than me, and probably most of you. So would you guys please help me cheer him up?" I was able to say this with only one stutter, an incredible achievement for me.
Iusus furrowed her brows at my words, but then she loosened them up, allowing her to speak in a normal manner, "I guess I'll help you. I got a little carried away yesterday... and said some stuff I didn't mean. I'll cheer Quis up with you, if not because of my sense of right, then for my dirty conscious."
The surprise I felt when Iusus said these words was immeasurable. Normally she would just punch me in the face for even considering the idea, but maybe she is changing because of what happened, or maybe she was just biding her time. Only time could tell. My shock was short-lived though, as others began to agree with Iusus.
"Yea, I'll help you. Quis would always help me when I didn't understand some principle in Magic Arts Class, so it's only reasonable I help him out here."
"I'll go with you all. Quis helped me get through the hell that is Martial Arts class, so I owe 'im."
"Me too! Quis helped me with..."
One by one the other students agreed to my request with words of encouragement. It was a heartwarming scene. Even Spiravit's two yes-men agreed to help, saying they beat him up so much that they had some kind of attachment now. My mouth broke out into a heartwarming smile, and my eyes teared up a little as a bowed.
"Seriously, thank you all so much."
___________________________________________________________________________
I was honestly expecting a more drawn-out search, but there he stood, at the front gate, waiting. It was a bit awkward for me when I remembered my declaration to lead the search party, even if it took days, only for him to be found the moment we left the school. But I stood my ground. It would be even more embarrassing if I were to give up now.
So I walked forward and with confidence radiating from me said, "Oh... hey Quis..." Was that timid voice mine? I thought I would say this confidently, stridently, vociferously maybe, but no. Just a skittish little voice. The one that belonged to the skittish little girl, Capcis.
"Hey Capcis, do you mind telling me what's going on here?" What? Wasn't he supposed to be despondent and depressed? If he was, then he was good at hiding it because I don't see any signs of that. I took a deep breath and repeated the old teacher's words in my mind as though it were a mantra and I spoke.
"Um, so, you see, I got everyone here too, you know... cheer you up? But, strangely enough... you seem... alright? If anything is bothering you, or that you want, then... please tell me." Great job! I knew I could do it. It's all thanks to the old teacher's, no, Master's teachings. I even bowed a bit, I can't believe it, mixing words and actions all at once! If this is a dream then I don't want to wake up!
"Now that I think about it, I do need something. Today was allowance day, right? I would appreciate my cut." Huh? I thought he might ball his eyes out, and then plan "Comfort Quis" would be a success... maybe he really isn't upset? There was no way... because if he wasn't... then wouldn't that just hurt his ongoing case? I need to do something before the others start thinking poorly of him, I need to speak to him privately.
I walked up to him, my legs shaking along the way. I have never asked a person, let alone a boy, to meet privately with me. Even though it wasn't anything romantic, as my conscious would never allow such a thing, it still made me nervous. Nervous that he might get the wrong idea, and then what then? Would he dump me by the wayside? There is a pretty big river nearby the sect ground... Ah! You're doing it again!
I mentally smacked myself to get my lungs working again as I neared him. For some reason, he felt a lot more scary than usual. I mean, Quis has always had a certain... edge to him, but not like this. No, no, no. It's just the incident hurting him. Think about it, if I were in his shoes, and I had found the first person in the world who actually understood me, and then developed a deep feeling such as love, only for her to die before that love is even realized. I would be depressed for sure, I might even consider something more extreme. So I need to cheer him up before anything happens.
I steeled my flimsy resolve and opened my mouth to talk to him, "Also Quis... I need to talk to you later. It may not seem like it, but everyone here came here to cheer you up, you know, 'cause Beulus told all of us... or, we eavesdropped on Beulus saying you were all mopey and depressed. So everyone came here thinking that you'd be all sad, and I know a couple of people that would actually be reaaaaaly angry if you weren't. And I feel like you'd better get out of here quick if you don't want something bad to happen, and I figured we could meet up later and have like a strategy meeting of sorts... So will you meet up with me- UGH!"
I held my stomach, the air slightly knocked out of my lungs causing me to almost lose my balance, but I was able to stand, somehow. Through the pain, I look up at Quis, questioningly. I wasn't angry per se, only wondering, why did he knee me? It was the strangest thing, to feel so much pain from someone, yet no anger- "Agh!"
I buckled down to the ground, my mind unable to think with the intense pain infiltrating my mind, corrupting every corner of it with violent thoughts. What the hell was wrong with this guy?! All I wanted was to help! Help you see! But this is how I am treated?! With a knee to the stomach and a punch to whatever was burning like hell in my side! As the thought of my side burning came to mind again, it began to sting more than before.
I've never felt such pain, such gut-wrenching, forever-lasting pain. I didn't even know how long it had been, maybe it had only been a couple of seconds, maybe a couple of hours, who could say? Not me, that was for sure. The only thing I could attest to was the pain in my side as I slowly brought myself up, and the anger I felt toward the man who created it.
"My money is gone too? Then he must have gone to the Fruit Hall. I'll meet him there, and give him a piece of my mind, the asshole. If he doesn't apologize... well I might just have to agree with Iusus' assessment of him."
___________________________________________________________________________
I walked all the way to the Fruit Hall. The pain in my... kidney I think, stinging with every step I took. Through the blistering heat of the campus ground, it was an understatement to say it was miserable. But I did it. I made every step, even knowing how much it would hurt once I put weight on it. I breathed in and out, even though the hot air would sting the inside of my lungs. And, powered by the strength that anger can bring, I made it all the way to the Fruit Hall.
I was going to enter through the door when it opened on its own, a familiar figure exiting, it was Quis. I sucked in my anger, it was a long walk, I had a lot of time to think. Yes, he left every single student that just went to help cheer him up on the ground, the lucky ones passed out, the unlucky awake to feel the pain. Yes, he stole money from every one of the students he left helpless on the ground. And yes, he was being a douche.
But maybe, just maybe he had a reasonable explanation for this. Just maybe it was because he was actually hurting so intensely, this was how he was coping. Just maybe.
"Quis, I need to talk to you."
He turned around and when he saw me, he was surprised. He probably wasn't expecting me to walk all this way with what felt like a giant rock in my hip, but he was wrong. My conviction, my resolution, no, my unyielding principles, that was what got me through it, just so I could meet him. He'd have half a mind to bow where he was, but no, I shouldn't think like that. If I let myself go too far, I might just end up like Spiravit, and that was something I wished on no one.
"What is it? I don't want to be put off much longer to make it quick."
This irked me. I would even say it sent me over the edge. All of the sympathies I tried to give him vanished in an instant, vicious thoughts replacing them.
"Beat him up until he limps permanently." one said.
"Why let him limp at all?" said another.
"I say we give his face a beating, his eyes creep me out." said the last.
No, I don't like to be so violent. So I should just talk to him, granted I won't be kind in my talking, but it's better than trying to fight him. I pushed these thoughts away, instead focusing on Quis in front of me. The anger from before swelled back up, and, with an angry stomp, I spat poison into his face.
"What do I want Quis?! I want to know why! Why! I don't care if I was beaten up and had my money taken! What I care about more than any of that is why you are acting like such a... such a dick! You are still my friend Quis, right?! Then where is he?! Where is the Quis that would purposely restrain himself because he didn't want to hurt others?! Where is the Quis that would encourage me to ask the teacher a question?! Where is the Quis that Pulchra claimed to love?!"
Even in the face of this verbal barrage, he was calm-faced... no, I think I saw an eye twitch right before he said, "I don't understand what you're asking. My name is still Quis isn't it?"
Oh, oh! This really made me angry, I've never been this angry before. I forgot about all kinds of embarrassment, all forms my awkwardness could take, all possibilities I had when speaking and just spoke from the heart, from my venomous heart.
"Don't play dumb with me! Answer my question! Where is the old Quis I called my friend?! No... Where is the old Quis most called their friend?!"
That would do it. That would wake the idiot up. I was sure of it. Any moment now... any... moment... now... He didn't look like he was mellowing out and getting ready to apologize... nope, not one bit. He was getting reading to stretch his tongue of poison.
"You want to know where the old Quis is? He died along with Pulchra in that boar nest! He's dead, him and his weak philosophy! Maybe you don't understand because you never had anything important taken from you, but it hurts Capcis. It hurts more than you could ever imagine."
Did it really hurt that badly I wondered. But then I thought about my loving parents. How would I feel if I lost even one of them? My wandering thoughts wouldn't stop his jaw from moving.
"You come to me and yell at me for changing!? But I ask you this, why haven't you changed?! You claim to be Pulchra's friend, but what did you do when you heard the news? Did you cry? Maybe. Were you shocked beyond belief? Probably. Were you brought to your mental extremes, to the point where you couldn't feel the pain of the horn in your stomach, but only the pain of the anguish in your heart? No! You were not!"
He was right. I was shocked. I cried. But did I feel any real pain? Yes, my side stung, but what was that compared to a horn in my belly? What was that compared to a heart filled with anguish? What was it?
"She is gone now, and so is the old Quis that couldn't do anything but watch the love of his life have her neck torn in and out by a wild, fucking, pig! So don't you dare come to me, with your weak convictions, and try to berate me for changing!"
It hurt to hear him say these nasty things to me, it did. But they were all true. Who was I to try and stop him from changing? I wouldn't stop Iusus if she tried to change, so why was this any different... now that I think about it, what did I just do?
I looked at my hands, the hands of deplorability. Hands so pathetic, they allowed me to curse out a friend who has lost someone important to them. I thought about losing my parents again. I thought about losing all of my classmates. I thought about losing the teachers that helped me so much... I thought about losing Quis.
I felt a tear hit the cursed hands I was staring at. Huh? Was I crying? Crying because of what? Because of my own pathetic self? It wouldn't have been the first time if that were the case...
It wasn't though. I could tell. As much as I wanted to use these tears as an excuse to make myself more self-centered like I usually did, I couldn't. These tears weren't for my own, pathetic, self. They were for my friend. So I should give them to him.
I ran up to him and hugged him, tightly. I wasn't doing this for my own comfort like I always have, but instead for the comfort of another. Though, I would be lying if it didn't make my heart feel comforted if even just a little.
I wasn't sure what kind of apology I gave him, because of the mess of snot and tears that got in my way, but I was sure it got the message across. He forgave me, somehow, so I swore to repay him. I would be there for him, through the thick and thin. I would help him the best I could.
Because I would hate it if I let this incident take another person from me.
And I would hate it if I let this incident take another person from Quis.
ความคิดของผู้สร้าง 
MrChill
MrChill This chapter is really long, like I mean really long. So long, that it probably wasn't smart for me to release it in one chapter. But I still did. I don't write to get to a word count, or keep myself below one, I write for an end goal. And the end goal of this chapter was to show you Capcis' thought process. So I hope I was able to do that. It'll be interesting to see how Ikusho affects her throughout the volume.
The next chapter will go back to Quis' POV, so, yea.
PS: “If you get the power stones and get the reviews, you need not fear the result of a hundred chapters. If you get the reviews but not the power stones, for every 5-star gained you will also still be happy because it's a review. If you get neither the power stones nor the reviews, you will succumb in every novel.”
― Sun Tzu, The Art of Webnovel
Thank you.
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