บท 44: 3.Musta Aurinko nousee. (Black Sun Rises.)
I did not know how long I'd been in the institution, how bad I was when I was in a rage, and I was just going home. Luckily, few people saw me because I must have looked like I was in a zombie movie. My hands were up to elbows covered in blood and whatnot, my eyes were soulless. My rage kept me going, and I wasn't even thinking about what to do when I got to the house. My killer instinct was still on. It was ready to lash out if anyone would attack me. Or do anything to me. I was a living skeleton, but an extremely dangerous creature.
It could be that no one was in the house anymore. Adam would have been going back to Chicago, and Samuel would have gone to Bran's, but I knew the code, and it was home. That's where I was going. I would be safe there. I was not planning anything or doing anything, but going to safety.
I got there in the evening's dark. The lights were on in the house, so I hoped Adam was still there. I punched in the code, pressed the button, and went inside. I carried the bags in my hand and went up the four stairs that led into the house like a robot.
I got to the living room when Adam met me; he was looking tired and worried, and I could sense how much he wanted to hold me, but my rage was too high, and I wasn't the victim now. I had my killer instinct way too much out. He spoke in a low, calm voice after he had looked at me a little closer and saw and felt my rage.
He smelled the human blood in me. His eyes flashed yellow for a second before he got himself under control. He saw my killer side, his alpha side reacted to that, and he had to stop himself not to coming at me and trying to show me my place.
" Mimi, what on earth has been done to you? Come here. You look like you need a little treatment." He asked.
His voice was calm and soft. He was talking to me like I would be feral, which I was.
Adam tried to get closer, but my rage, the new anesthetic, and all the other shit Krycheck had stuffed me full of made me feel pretty wild. I was too feral, too far gone in order for me to control myself.
I said to Adam in a voice that was barely my own, "Don't, don't touch Adam. Right now, I know who you are. But you're Adam, not my alpha, because right now, I need a moment to myself, okay? I'm serious. I'm so nervous, I'm as dangerous and insecure and unpredictable as I can be, and I can control myself, but if you try anything... let's say a facility, that's probably 20 miles away, you'll see what I can do right now."
My rage turned my voice into a feral snarl, more or less.
"Here's all the drugs I could find. If they're any good. I will go upstairs now, take a breather, and get myself under better control. Then, and only then, let's see what I might need and can tolerate. They tried to brainwash me at the same time as I was dissected alive quite a few times, so I am in full display of my rage; otherwise, I can't function, and I don't want to give up my rage. I have also this darkness ready to lash out and it....it actually enjoys killing."
Adam stepped back, exhaled, and said: "Go ahead. I don't want to hurt you. I'll get you under control. Believe me. You may have maimed people, but right now, I am very experienced, a werewolf, and a professional. You can't do anything to me but go calm down, get some rest, and we'll see each other in the morning. Mimi, you were gone for ten weeks. Damon has been looking everywhere for you. He came back a week after you were abducted. I'll tell him you came home yourself. I'll call Samuel, too. He's working for Bran, but you look like you're a priority now, anyway. Let me know if you need anything."
I nodded and went upstairs. I went straight to the bed and pulled the blankets aside enough to get under them quickly. I was cold. I felt my strength and rage begin to fade or maybe it was just the fact that I was home now, safe and my rage wasn't roaring so full blast anymore.
I started to feel the drugs in my head, remember the brainwashing attempt, I felt all the bullets in my body, my weakness and I didn't even think about how I was going to get anywhere as everything just rolled over me so I curled up into a ball and shook. I was tired of being strong, now I was safe. I was not thinking about anything, not Damon, not Adam, not even myself, but I was just shaking, suffering.
When Mimi walked upstairs, staggering and shaking, Adam got a good grip on himself that he hadn't gone and picked Mimi up in his arms, rushed her straight into the car, and started driving to Samuel. Mimi was in a shitty condition, and Adam had no idea how long it would take for them to get her in shape. She was a living skeleton. But Damon had clearly instructed what to do if he got a tip-off about Mimi or found Mimi. Although Adam was basically the pack's leader, Damon had made this unusually clear and explained it well enough that Adam did as agreed.
The first thing was always to call Damon. Adam had his phone number to call. So when he got his wolf under control and was able to function again and saw that Mimi could get upstairs, Adam dialed Damon's number and called. He had seen that darkness in her too, but he was not scared; he knew it all too well to himself.
"Salvatore." Damon's voice was strained and tense, and it had been for the whole ten weeks.
Damon had been a completely different creature all that time. And he had been charged up but also a good pile of self-reproach when he, the protector, hadn't been with Mimi for three months, and Mimi got caught. And no matter how hard they looked, they did not know where Mimi could have been.
The options were just too much, and having revealed that the bounties were real and she herself had known about them had set Adam's temper boiling, but now that he had seen Mimi's condition, his well-planned lecture was forgotten pretty quickly.
Adam said: "Mimi just got home. She walked in herself, but Damon, she was in terrible shape—bullet wounds, the smell of drugs, and, worst of all, rage. Lady's white-hot rage is everywhere, and now it's blocking the effects of all the drugs. She has also a sort of darkness, some part of her that enjoys killing. She's erratic, in shock, doesn't trust herself, wobbly and shaking. The only thing I can think of to calm her down momentarily is to break her neck, but when I can't get close enough."
Damon listened with a sigh. Mimi was home. What a relief swept over Damon and made him go limp in his car seat. Good. His hand shook almost. Adrenaline flooded in his system, and relief was almost too much.
"Adam, I'm coming - don't interfere with Mimi at all. I'll take care of her... She's panicked, scared, cornered. In pain and shock, she can be a very unpredictable person. I'm going to see if I can calm her down; I might be able to do something about the rage and that killer side as well. One hour, Hauptmann. I repeat, leave Mimi alone. Don't speak, don't touch, just leave her alone."
Adam said: "Okay, Mimi brought all the drugs she could find. Maybe they'll be useful. But she walked about 20 miles or so. I wonder if I should ask Charles to clean up the mess again?"
Damon replied: " Yeah, ask Bran if Charles is idle; if not, I'll get some men out there as soon as we find out where the facility is located. The drugs I highly doubt, at least for now, if they've already stuffed Mimi with drugs and then all the tranquilizer darts and whatnot, but it's good to go through them. Samuel will probably have his team go through them. But I'll be there in an hour. You do the Charles thing, and if it doesn't work out, I'll do it when I have time."
Damon hung up the phone and started driving as fast as he could.
Adam called Bran, who put the phone on speaker while Adam explained the whole thing. Charles was on leave and would arrive in a few hours. He would find the facility when he looked at Mimi's route on the traffic cameras. Adam wouldn't have to worry about that issue. Charles was getting pretty fed up with these facilities as he had seen what had been done.
Damon was driving fast, trying to hold himself together and be steady and calm, and he knew he had to be in total control when he went to Mimi's. Now is not the time to do any crazy tricks to seduce; it would be when Mimi was okay. He drove to the house in 45 minutes and went inside. He would be strong, firm, and not give in at all. Now it was not the time to coddle and take it easy.
Adam was in the kitchen, and Damon saw the big sports bags on the living room table. Adam looked haggard. He had stubble. He was pale and worried as well.
Damon took off his outdoor clothes, went over to Adam, and said, "I'll go up in a minute and see what I can do about the young lady. I think Samuel is coming too; the young lady needs an operation, and two is always better than one."
Damon went and poured himself a big drink of bourbon, sat down for a moment, drank it in almost a few gulps, and then got up and started to walk upstairs.
I was still in a ball but wasn't shaking all the time. I was cold and nauseous, but I didn't want to throw up yet, so I controlled myself. My head hurt, and my muscles ached. Pain and weakness racked my body, and it felt like I was running out of steam. The lights hit my eyes. I felt very vulnerable and terrified. I felt like all my senses were in overdrive. My killer instinct was still on, and it made me feel even more unstable.
The sheets of the bed felt too much against my skin, and my hips felt sore when there was a lump underneath. I felt how thin and weak I was, but now I still couldn't function. I heard footsteps on the stairs, and after a moment, the door opened, and someone stepped in and closed the door.
Whoever it was, he came closer. Passionfruit. Damon. Now I still couldn't stand anything. I was trying to get my rage going, and I didn't want to be so damn weak and vulnerable, especially in front of Damon. I was so tired of being strong, but I had to.
I said, "Go away. Leave me alone. I'll come down when I can."
Damon came to the bed on his side, where he had been sleeping at one point, and turned to face me.
He talked to me, softly, calmly, "You were wearing my shirt, baby. That was the first thing that came to my mind when I heard you'd been taken. You wore it even though I wasn't here and carried it with you. I'm sorry it took me three months, but original brothers and their sisters can be tricky. Did you know that sweet Nick and Elias aren't quite as innocent as they let on?" His voice was barely a whisper.
"They were trying to get me to drink and have sex with, or actually, a woman, Rebecca, their sister. I know they told me how their whole family had abandoned them, but it never mattered. They do, always and forever. You don't look very well. You must be feeling pretty insecure about yourself to take your rage out so hard. It's okay. I'm here now, and you're home, and I'm going to fix you."
I shook my head, and an exceptionally hard cramp went down my spine. At the same time, it felt like my head was splitting open. A moan or some sound escaped my lips. Damon was stroking me. He had been touching me for a while. He stroked my side, feeling my ribs, my scars, probably the bullets in my body.
I knew he could feel how my muscles, what was left of them, were tense. Damon was laying down, facing me, came closer, slid one hand under me very gently and firmly, and pulled me against him. He squeezed me tightly against him.
"Oh my God, baby, these whole nine weeks have been awful. I've looked everywhere for you and then couldn't find you anywhere and what a terrible thing you've been through. I'm here. Don't take your rage out on me; just leave it; it's all right. Just calm down. Rest and listen, you're safe. "
His voice was so soothing, confident, and loving somehow, and his body heat helped even though I was hurting all over; he was my safety. Now I was safe, and nothing bad was going to happen. He held me against him, and I pressed my head against his chest and just listened to his soothing breathing and heartbeat. I didn't even realize at what point I fell asleep.
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