บท 1: 1: Not Meant For You
Bam!
Crash!
"What is this that you brought?!"
A middle aged man shouted with his clenched reddened fist on a table, a sheet of paper was beside his fist and broken pieces of ceramic was directly beside the table on the floor.
In front of this middle aged man was a standing teenager, a nineteen year old boy to be more accurate. The boy was currently looking at the broken pieces of ceramic on the floor. If one could place back all the broken pieces together correctly, one would see a name at the bottom of a broken ceramic piece.
This name was 'Corey'.
'That was my favorite mug.' Corey thought with slight pain in his heart as he looked at the broken pieces of glass.
'If I knew I should have removed it from here before I came to give him.' Corey sighed softly in his heart and then looked at the sheet of paper. He did not have the courage to face the middle aged man, his father.
Just as he looked at the sheet of paper, he heard a shout from his father.
"Answer me Corey! What kind of result did you bring home?!"
Corey looked away from the sheet of paper and then looked at his father's face. He could see the anger and disappointment in his father's eyes, which pained his heart more than he expected.
Although his heart was pained seeing the disappointment in his father's eyes, his own eyes also had emotions.
Tiredness was the most evident, followed by sadness and then hopelessness. Though deep in his eyes was an emotion most if not all would not be able to see, which was depression, intense depression.
He was tired of his life.
"Are you just going to stand there without saying a word?!" His father shouted once again when Corey did not reply to his question after a few seconds passed.
Meanwhile Corey just looked down, he had nothing to say.
What was he supposed to say in his defense?
What could he say in his defense?
What would be the point in telling his father that he doesn't know what's wrong also?
What would be the point in telling his father that he tried, that he really tried but he still failed?
What would the point in telling his father about all the all-nighters he pulled off way before and during his exams?
What would be the point in telling his father about all the parties, social activities and possible new friends and old friends he neglected just so he could read and be focused on his studies?
What would be the point in telling his father all this when his result did not even show a fraction of the hard work he put for his exams.
There was no absolutely no point.
No point at all.
A few seconds of uncomfortable silence passed before Corey's father spoke once more.
"I'm very disappointed in you Corey. But most of all I'm worried about your future. You're in your third year and your grades recently have been below average. You won't find a good job after you graduate. No good company would want to hire average people, talk less of below average people."
Corey trembled slightly when he heard his father's words. It would have been better if his Father just raged and kept on shouting like how he used to do, at least his heart won't hurt as much as this.
What pained him the most was that he knew all of this, that was why he tried so hard but no matter how hard he tried, he still failed.
Corey did not say a single word and just kept on looking at the floor. He did not know what to say.
Seeing that Corey stood there motionlessly without saying a single word, Corey's father stood up from the chair he was sitting on and then walked away.
He stopped after taking a few steps and then spoke without turning his head.
"Make sure you pick up the broken pieces on the floor."
After saying that, he walked away.
Corey removed his eyes from the floor and looked at his father's back who was walking away. As he was looking at the back of his father, he heard a soft voice.
"Junior."
He looked at where his father was sitting previously, or to be more exact beside where his father was sitting previously.
At this spot was his mother. She had been quiet the whole time and Corey had almost forgotten she was there due to everything he was feeling at the moment.
As he looked at his mother, he could see she had a worried look on her face. Not one of anger or disappointment, but worry.
Sometimes he could not understand what kind of love a true mother feels for her child.
"Junior…" His mother paused and struggled to say the words that wanted to come out of her mouth.
"Maybe being a medical student is not meant for you. You should probably try to do other stuffs."
The moment Corey's mother, Corey's breathing paused and his entire body became stiff.
Corey's mother seeing Corey like this pained her because she knew how much Corey wanted to become a medical doctor, but seeing his current and past results, she knew Corey could not become a medical doctor unless some miracle happened, hence she had to speak up her mind at least just to let her son to start thinking of something different to do.
Corey's mother sighed softly after seeing Corey rooted on the spot for a few more seconds not saying a word and then stood up and left.
Meanwhile in Corey's mind, his mother's words kept on ringing in his ears.
'Is not meant for you.'
'Not meant for you.'
'Not meant for you.'
After a few more seconds, he kept on looking at the floor and spoke softly with his eyes becoming slightly watery.
"I know it's not meant for me."
"I just realized it in my third year."
"But what am I supposed to do?"
"If I say I want to start university all over again, Dad would have to spend more money on me."
"Our family is just barely okay."
"What do I do?"
"I don't even know what's meant for me."
"… I'm tired."
Corey used his right hand to clean his watery eyes and then moved towards the broken pieces of ceramic. He looked around and found a nylon to put the broken pieces into. After packing and sweeping all the broken pieces away, he dumped it into the waste bin in the kitchen.
After doing all of that, he walked to his room. His room was just a normal room, it had no posters of any celebrity, nor did it have a picture of a half naked woman. Only a bed, bedside table, a reading table and a reading lamp.
He walked to his wardrobe and picked some clothes from it. The moment he picked up the clothes, he heard a knock on his door. He frowned slightly and then spoke.
"Come in."
The door opened and a teenage girl walked into the room. Although she was sixteen, she had the body of a woman in her early twenties.
The girl looked at Corey with a slightly worried look.
Corey spoke without facing her and removed his t-shirt, he didn't need to see who knocked since he knew from the intensity of the knocks. He already knew his father, mother and sister's knocks.
"What do you want Anna?"
Corey asked after removing his t-shirt revealing a flat chested and not too skinny body. He removed his short afterwards and then threw both his short and t-shirt into his laundry basket.
Anna looked at Corey changing and was not flustered or anything, she had a confused and worried expression on her face as she spoke.
"Are you going somewhere?"
"Yes." Corey answered and then wore a pair of black shorts and a white long sleeve t-shirt. He then walked to his wardrobe and squatted.
"Where are you going?" Anna asked curiously and also worriedly. A thought came to her mind and the worry on her face increased. She then hurriedly spoke.
"Don't tell me you're running away. Please don't run away."
Corey looked at Anna who had a pleading and worried expression on her face. He stood up and then sat down on his bed, holding his white sneakers. He dropped the sneakers on the floor and then started wearing it.
"I'm not running away Anna." Corey replied though Anna did not fully believe him.
"Where are you now going?" She asked.
"To the Temple."
"Uh?" Corey's reply stunned Anna. " I thought you didn't believe in God?"
Corey finished tying his shoe laces and then stood up. He looked at Anna for the first time throughout this conversation and when Anna looked into the eyes of her brother, it looked…. Dead?.
She was confused and worried.
"At this point, I need something to believe in." He walked past her and then muttered in a low voice.
"Even if serving and believing in God is what I'm meant for, I'll take it."
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