บท 71: Freya (3)
"Words cannot describe how special you are compared to other mortals around you." Freya said. "Your soul simply burns with power and ambition, so much that it swallows the sight of all else around it. Just as my beauty becomes a a point of obsession for weak willed people, the radiance of your soul acts the same for me."
"What does that have to do with you thinking I'm your Odr?" Lyze asked.
"You are correct, that my love is destructive and that it leaves people broken and changed. But that is because of a simple reason." Freya sat beside him in the bath, the water revealing more of her body than it did in the deep end. "My love is simply too powerful for one person to handle, mortal or not."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Every time I turn my affections onto someone, they feel the weight of my entire sphere bearing down upon them. Their hearts and their minds, as well as their souls cannot handle it. It takes a special type of soul to bear even a fragment more of my love than a normal person can take." Freya gave him a side eye as she explained. "These are Hero type souls, souls that are by nature stronger than the norm. A result of simply their state of being instead of their actions in life."
"...Thus why you've been collecting Hero type souls all these years."
"Exactly. When I learned there was practically none in Tenkai that would ever be able to handle my love, and accept me in my entirety, I began to despair feeling that the love I gave could never be returned in full." Freya began twirling some strands of her hair. "It was truly a devastating realization...Until one day, someone told me that a singular soul was destined for me, one that would be able to handle the full weight of my affections, eternal matrimony." Freya's eyes shone in wonder. "I had never been happier in my life before that moment.
But of course, seeing that nobody in the upper realms had that quality, I began to look upon the mortals. And it was there that I began to observe them, learning the different qualities of a soul which translated into different characteristics or traits that person had in life. It was there that I learned why souls had more potential than others, which were pure and good and which were twisted and cruel. I have explained before what I did with those respective souls, but what I searched for above all others was a soul that was powerful enough to hold my love.
One day, Hera challenged me to a game. She wanted me to put certain abilities of mine to use down in the mortal realm, to join the Game. It goes unsaid that I lost to her, hence why I am here now. But I reasoned that it would give me a chance to become more intimate with mortals, and that my chances of finding my Odr would increase if I searched amongst the living instead of the dead. I have spent many lifetimes down here, pursuing that singular goal above all else, and though I have collected many potential candidates over the years, each and every one of them turned out to be wrong. They did not have what it took, and they broke.
I began to lose hope all over again. To cope with that, I decided to try and get away from my life as a goddess. Just as you said, I did that by creating my Syr persona, and it provided some small respite from the misery. I found that I could be carefree and happy without constantly being expected to behave like a goddess. It was then I realised that another quality that my Odr must have...that he would treat me like a woman regardless of my identity. Being treated normally, instead of being worshipped all the time seemed to bring me true happiness.
So as well as being a hero type soul, I deduced that any candidate would also be someone that ignored my position as goddess and treated me like a mortal woman. But alas, that was the one kind of soul I never found...until I met you."
"I could probably understand you thinking that, because I really don't treat any proclaimed 'god' like they are gods at all. Not even Loki. But how am I a hero type soul?"
"Because of the sheer power you emit." She said as she trailed a circle over the middle of his chest, where he assumed his soul was supposed to be. "Your soul is literally a burning silver flame, under which lies that mysterious entity you carry around with."
Lyze's eyes widened a little as that description suddenly became very familiar.
'A silver flame! And Chaos living under it, or in it at least because its a fire. Wait, does that mean I was somehow inside my own soul every time I met Chaos?'
"The flame itself is what I believe makes you...well, you." Freya said. "I have always had an appreciation for a good fire, being a goddess of war and all. But the one that burns inside you is one that speaks of promise to devour everything with it's power. It's like there is no limit to it, no limit to how strong you will become. I believe that fire is what will be able to consume my love entirely, leaving me as just a woman to your eyes than a goddess."
"So you believe that my soul...will swallow the effects of your divinity, essentially taking away your identity, and it will be able to hold your love. And because of that, I will be able to reciprocate it?"
She nodded, smiling.
"Forgive me when I say that it sounds a little bit far fetched." He pushed her hand away again. "I know one or two reasons why I definitely cannot be your Odr."
"What would they be?" She asked, a little shocked and confused.
"Because one, I don't love you. That is pretty much apparent. Why would I anyway? This is but the second time we've met."
"We could work on it though, could we not?"
"I told you, your behaviour and aspects of your personality makes it very hard for me to even like you. All the negative things I said about you, I cannot love you while you still possess them."
"Then I can change!" She said a little loudly as she got in front of him again. "You said I could, and that I was not irredeemable. If changing my habits and becoming a better person is what it takes to gain your affection I can do it!"
"And perhaps you could." He said. "But you have not heard what else I have to say. So let me give it straight." He folded his arms. "This world means nothing to me. Everyone, everything, even Loki herself are but a means to an end."
"What do you mean?"
"I intend to return to my original world. And it is a world than none of you will ever be able to enter, because you do not belong there. The laws that govern that universe will not allow for something like you to exist, so you would probably be erased from existence for all I know. How can I be your Odr, when I will not even be here?"
The look on Freya's face was empty, cold. The pain that was hiding in her eyes came rushing to the front as her eyes watered.
"You see." Lyze said. "And that is why you should never put faith in prophecies. Because it leaves you broken when they let you down."
"I can still try." She said too quietly for him to hear.
"What?"
"I can still try!" She said loudly. "I have time! There is no way you will accumulate that much power anytime soon! All I have to do is convince you to love me enough that you will stay!"
Lyze gave her a sad smile. "Things aren't that simple Freya. Why do you sound so convinced they are?"
"I've lived too long." She sobbed slightly. "I'm willing to take any chance at this point. If there is even a small probability that you are the one whom I have been waiting for, then I will not cease my efforts until you love me back."
"You're welcome to try." Lyze said wryly. "To make me stay, you would have to make me love you more than the person that I am trying to return to."
"And who is that?"
"You're the expert. Tell me Freya, out of all the kinds of love that exists in life..." He gave her a soft smile. "...is there any that is greater than a mother's love?"
Realization filled her face as it became clear to her what he was saying. Her face fell as he assumed despair began to fill her once again.
"I enjoyed our conversation Lady Freya." He said. "We've stayed in this bath too long. It's time the two of us got out."
As he stood to leave the bath and grab a towel nestled by it's side, Freya grabbed his hand. He looked back at her, questioning why she was holding him back.
"You wanted to know why I decided not to take you into my Familia." She said. "It's because of your soul. The intensity at which it burns, the rate at which you grow is dependant on your emotions." She looked up at him. "If I had taken you in, you would have been in an environment you had no wish to be in. This would have caused you to resent me, probably even hate me. And emotions like that is what dampens your soul, what affects your growth in a bad way."
"And it's because of that only that you have gone back on your desires? Because I won't be as pleasing to your eyes?"
"No." She mumbled. "I could never bear you hating me, not when you might be the one. If you did, it would truly break me."
Lyze gave her a sad look.
"I believe we spoken enough on this subject." He said. "I'll be waiting in the dining room to conclude this business."
There he left her to her thoughts, wondering whether or not he made his mess smaller or bigger. But if he knew her at all, she would not give up yet.
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