บท 12: Without A Trace Part 4
“When I first met you, I thought you were…different.” Sheila said. “I found you, intriguing. The closer that we got the more that I realized that there was something sinister that drew me to you”.
“Sinister?” Greg asked, surprised by Sheila’s choice of words.
“Not that you were or are sinister or anything like that. But there was something sinister to the dynamic of our relationship”.
“How? In what way?”
“It is more complex than any answer I could say right now would provide”.
“…I don’t get it. We had fun together, right?”
“Yes. Yes, we did”.
“And we’re having fun together right now, right?”
“If you want to call this fun then yes, yes we are”.
“So then, what the is the deal? Why is there a roadblock?”
“Because of I don’t want to repeat the past”.
“Yet others work through it better than this”.
“And we’re not those kinds of people, are we?”
Sheila began to play with her food with her fork before Greg laid his right hand on top of her right hand. This caused her to take a pause as Greg looked into her eyes. While she attempted to suppress the feelings that were arriving, her face had to a redder tone as Greg drew in closer to her.
“I know things didn’t go the way you had hope when we were still a thing”. Greg began to explain. “But that was just our first go around! We all get another at bat or two, right?”
“In most cases, yes”. Sheila said.
“But this case is different”.
“It’s not that it’s different it’s that I just don’t know. I don’t know what path I want to go down with you. I could go down one loop and it would be the wrong loop. Or I could decide on a whim be completely and utterly satisfied with it”.
“Sounds like you need to go ahead a take a risk”.
“The next risk that I take with you, I want it to be the last one”. Sheila said, which caused Greg to be frozen in place. “So, it has to be the right one”. Sheila finished.
“Isn’t that putting too much pressure on everything?”
“Oh, whatever do you mean?”
“It all seems so…high stakes. For no reason. Like, why?”
“Because how else could, I be sure? Look, I know you’re ready to go, I get it. But some things can’t be rushed.”
“But it can’t all go at a snail’s pace”.
“I know this sounds weird, but I think that this is the best course of action given where we are. And I think that the longer you sit with it the more you will understand where I’m coming from”.
Greg sat with it for a few more moments. He looked Sheila, then turned away, then looked back at Sheila before he turned away once again. He put his head down and put his gaze upon the hardwood floor. He looked up and saw that Sheila was looking at him. He lingered a bit before he looked down and then gathered himself back up.
“Since when do we conform?” Greg asked.
“Do explain in what way I am conforming”. Sheila asked, putting part of her guard back on.
“You’re an Australian Japanese chick, I’m a black guy from North Carolina”.
“Yes. Your point it?”
“Point is that we’ve never done what has been expected of us. So, why start now?”
“Who says that I am succumbing to peer pressure?”
“It sure feels like it!”
“That is but a cognitive dissociation of your own imagination”.
“Cut the distractions out!”
“Okay, Greg. I’ll level with you here. Can we just take it slow? I know you just want to get right back into it and have things be what the used to be. But I’m just not ready for that. At the same time, I do believe that we have reunited for a reason. I think it would be a waste to not explore this. But I just think that we can do things with more tact this time around.”
Greg opened his mouth and then clamped it shut. He looked at Sheila who was caught up in her own stillness. He stared around the room and saw all kinds of people. Couples, families, college and high students, etc. His eyes however came right back to Sheila whose expression had not changed one bit.
“I see”. Greg said.
“I hope that this doesn’t upset you”. Sheila responded.
“It is what is it is. I suppose you are doing your due diligence”.
“You really think so?”
“Yeah, for sure. You are trying to be logical about this. I can respect that”.
“I feel like it is the only way for us to have the best shot”.
“Perhaps. So as long as we don’t lose ourselves. If we can stop short of that, we’ll be fine”.\
“And at the end of the day, I want to find those owls. I want to see them. I want to understand them”.
“Yeah, me too”.
Sheila was silent right after Greg uttered those words. Greg could not help but smile as he grabbed his water again. Sheila smirked at Brent before she looked down on the ground. Brent adjusted his seat as Sheila adjusted her skirt. They looked at each other, eyes wide opened as the music played.
“Waiter?” Greg started. “Let me grab another drink”.
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