บท 3: I Want A Jukebox
Chapter 3: I Want a Jukebox
Thanks to Megapede for the beta-work!
I WANT A JUKEBOX
During the next few days, I settled into a routine that felt almost normal, if you don't count the fact that I was getting lessons from satyrs, nymphs, and a centaur. But, having been raised by a fucking witch, I didn't have room to complain.
The crack of dawn on my first day at half-blood hill saw me sneaking out of cabin 11, and I made my way down to the Pavilion, glancing distractedly at the always smoldering heart in the middle of the common courtyard. Hestia was nowhere to be seen.
Pity, I liked chatting with her.
The camp was shrouded in the morning fog, but I didn't mind the cool, nebulized water that awoke me completely.
The food was already on the tables, and the bathtub-wide brazier wasn't lit. So sacrifices only at dinner?
I sat down, filling my plate, and chugging orange juice.
A thump made me raise my eyes: Thalia had settled down in front of me, her hair a complete mess, and her face clearly expressing how much she loathed being awake. I smirked.
"Well. Hello, princess." I hailed the daughter of Zeus.
She grimaced a bit, vaguely pointing at me with a knife, before filling her plate.
"Too early for bantering, I take it?"
She grunted. Okay.
"Invite me to live in your cabin, and I'll gift you the shirt of the AC/DC you were wearing yesterday." I offered, hoping to exploit her still half-asleep state.
She froze, half stick of bacon dangling from her mouth. She chewed, swallowed, proceeded to ask for water in her glass, and washed her face with it.
The change was immediate, half-lidded, tired eyes left space to twin orbs glowing cobalt blue, her vaguely suffering face turned into a smug one.
"I want all of your rock-band t-shirts." she counter-offered.
"Two."
"Half." she narrowed her eyes.
"Five."
"I want ten, and I get to pick." her smile was showing too many teeth to make me comfortable.
"Six, so with the AC/DC one, you get a shirt for each day of the week. Final offer." I offered her my hand to shake.
She accepted. Yahoo!
"She tricked you." Luke sat down at my right, a mischievous smile on his face.
"Yesterday you weren't listening, you can't sleep in a cabin that's not yours." He popped my bubble.
Shit.
"I still needed a place where I could leave the stuff on the pickup. Have you seen the others in cabin 11? It's like Juvie." Not that I ever lived in one.
I chose to see the glass half-full "It may not happen to you, being a Royal Bastard and all, but being a Regular Bastard, I had to tie my shoes to my calves to make sure they wouldn't be mysteriously gone during the night."
While each morning, Luke, Annabeth, and Thalia took Ancient Greek from a smug-looking 14 years old son of Athena, they were about the gods and goddesses in ancient greek. I clearly knew my shit, and thusly refused to attend, I spent my time running through the woods, weaving under branches and loosing against nymphs. The little bitches knew how to run, that's for sure. I didn't train only my body, getting used to manipulating the mist around me while in movement instead.
Invisibility for me, for that branch, twisting the Mist so that it would copy something that wasn't there... basically high-grade illusions.
The rest of the day rotated through outdoor activities.
I did not piss at archery either, in my book, staying away from the enemy and swarming him with arrows was a great plan, so I often trained with the Apollo kids. While I didn't have any exceptional talent for it, I could learn. I was also hoping to get an in with Chiron's healing lessons. The centaur had forgotten to tell me that before teaching me anything magic-healing related, I had to memorize something like two thousand herbs, fungi, and random venoms from dusty old books. Apollo kids had it easy, they were naturally attuned to healing, and as such, they instinctively knew which plants to use.
I ignored canoeing; it seemed a stupid thing to learn. However, swimming was another kettle of fish entirely. For all my traveling, I had never entered a natural body of water. It was different.
I could feel some kind of... alive, alive, alive vibe from the water. There was a power in it, something...
It felt alive in the same way the forest I grew up in had felt when I stretched my metaphysical fingers towards that power, it slipped through, and I was left trying to grab water. It's worthy of further investigation.
My straight-combat training began after the first week when I first made my way into the sandy arena. Luke and Thalia were attending their ancient greek lessons, so I was alone.
I browsed the training weapons, selecting a couple of daggers, a sword that felt more like a mace than anything else, and a wooden spear without tip. I placed myself in a dismissed portion of the arena and got started with the sword.
Slash from up to bottom. Ha, the sword going from vertical to perfectly parallel to the ground.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Forcing muscles to learn a routine was boring shit.
"Look, fresh meat." A voice directed to me interrupted my self-imposed torture. A sixteen years old son of Ares was marching towards me, a couple of goons on each side. They all wore armors, complete with helmets, and they were holding a shield on their left arm, a big-ass bronze shield, if it weighed less than 15kg, I was a wood nymph.
"He's using our space, James." Goon number one said.
I sighed tiredly. Ah, dick-measuring contest. I'm surprised it took that long.
Nobody wanted to piss off Thalia, with her being the daughter of the big bad boss and all that, while Annabeth was 7, and thus beneath notice. Luke was the son of Hermes, meaning that the bosses of cabin 11 kept out an eye for him. That left me as 'the new kid' to bully around.
"Well, if he gives me those sunglasses of his, I might even not maim him." Goon two added.
I tilted my head, watching alternatively between my blunted sword and the helmets sitting on the heads of the five idiots.
I took a deep breath and shaped the Mist. It clung on me like a second skin, mimicking the movement of my chest with each breath.
I stepped sideways, invisible, leaving behind an Icarus shaped illusion paralyzed by fear.
"Look at him; he can't even move." Goon number five sneered and walked forward to my hologram.
I steadied myself, rolling my shoulders to make sure they weren't stiff and swung the sword like a baseball mace, the flat of the blade crashing on the side of the head of the Goon number one.
The wannabe bullies froze for a second, immediately bringing out their weapons and looking at my hologram warily. It didn't help that my illusion had sprouted a mocking smirk on his own.
Another thing I need to understand properly. I frowned lightly; sometimes, my illusions became more real than I pictured them to be.
I stalked forward until I was behind the group: with two precise swings, another two sons of Ares went down.
The hologram of me unraveled, leaving the last two wannabe bullies to fight back to back against an enemy that didn't register on their senses. I chose to work on my psychological warfare skills.
"Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
Catch a bully by the toe
If it squeals cut it off,
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe." I singsonged, my voice echoing around them.
I choose to leave James (who I believed was the boss of the Ares cabin) last. I could use an instructor after all.
Still invisible, I stomped as hard as I could my heel on the goon's toe, likely breaking it (seriously, who wears sands when going to fight?).
When he bent down to try and grab me, I slammed the hilt on my sword against his nose, breaking it and sending him in the realm of unconsciousness.
I jumped back, unraveling the Mist around me and smiling cheerfully at James, who had whirled on me, his eyes warily darting around.
"Relax, I'm real, and I won't maim you." I started, taking off my sunglasses and attaching them on the hem of my shirt. "I can try to teach you how to see instead of looking." I offered.
The son of Ares was tall and bulky, and admittedly he made for a scary figure. He kept his shield raised, wisely not trusting my words: "Why would you do it?"
"You are the counselor of the Ares kids, meaning that you're the best in a straight fight, is that true?"
When he nodded, I continued: "Hermes is the god of trade, is he not? As a member of cabin 11, I offer a trade. In exchange for my efforts, you'll do your best to teach me, hand to hand, daggers, sword, shield, and spear. The complete combat-pack."
He was interested, only a fool wouldn't be, but he was also unsure if I could be trusted. "And I even promise not to teach it to Athena's kids." I sweetened the deal. If there was something I could count on, it was the rivalry between Ares and Athena. After all, the first was the god of war; the second was the goddess of strategy and battle. He agreed.
During the following months, I found out two things: one, all Ares kids were healthy in all the shit that regarded combat, hand to hand, sword, spear, dagger. You name it.
And two, James Johnson was a slave driver, and he wasn't as dumb as a rock, which was uncanny, because if I was sure of something, was that the rest of his brothers and sisters shared that sad characteristic. But again, the war was stupid business, so it made sense.
I liked the sword, even if it was boring, and having Luke trash me with it anytime he wished was annoying. The same applied for the spear and Thalia, she just understood it in a way that I couldn't emulate.
In comparison to the spear and shield, daggers were easy, I simply moved my body, knowing that I held something very small and very lethal at the end of my arms.
My hands lacked the powerful grip necessary to be effective in hand to hand combat properly, but it was mostly due to my age than anything else.
I didn't have Hephaestus's skill with metalwork, even if I made myself useful at the forge, slowly picking up the differences between celestial bronze and steel. Basically? Only its magical monster-killer properties. The mind-blogging-ness of the forges was outstanding.
Living at the half-blood camp was, at times, exhilarating and, at times depressingly boring, but always tiring. Which was something I appreciated, signifying that I was learning loads?
Despite all that, I liked the camp. I got used to the morning fog over the beach, even if I steered clear of the ocean, remembering clearly how, at the end of the Iliad, a couple of giant sea-serpents had eaten someone. I got used to the smell of hot strawberry fields in the afternoon, even the weird noises of monsters in the woods at night. I would eat dinner with cabin eleven, scrape part of my meal into the fire, and avoid dumbass activities as best as I could.
Everyone was always looking at Thalia like she was about to eat their souls. Oh, everyone was kowtowing her, sure, even Annabeth, impressionable mortal child that she was, started sitting a bit straighter when Thalia was around. Luke was the only one who treated her with a semblance of normality. Well, I did that too, but it was more because of my natural talent towards disrespect.
19-August 1999
I walked through the woods near the border of the Half-blood camp until I reached the clearing and looked over our carefully selected team. Thalia and Luke were in, of course, David Taylor, a bulky and short fifteen years old son of Hephestus, and Jim Hunter, a very tall sixteen years old son of Hermes.
"Mr. D will skin us alive." Jim was objecting.
"Then you don't know him at all." I cut him off, walking in the clearing.
"Meaning that you do, instead?" Thalia retorted.
"Well, he is your brother, so maybe you know better," Luke smirked.
"Please, don't remind me." She grumbled.
"I'll be calling your father Big D, Thalia, since Mr. D is his son and whatnot." I brought them up to speed with the codename I had chosen for the King of the gods.
"And because of that time when Thalia called him Big Dickhead" Luke clarified, making Thalia blush and bringing us to snicker.
I crouched on the ground: "Okay, okay, short version: Big D seduced and impregnated the beautiful princess of Thebes, Semele, but Big D's wife tricked Semele into demanding that Thalia's pops reveal his true form to her. As a mortal, Semele could not look upon a god's true form without dying. Big D managed to rescue the unborn demigod by sewing him into his thigh. After his birth, he was taken to Silenus."
"Wait, the old satyr? He's senile!" David interrupted.
"It was a shitload of years ago, dumbass." Jim quickly cut him off.
I rolled my eyes: "Once grown, he learned to cultivate grapes and became the first to turn them into wine. He then wandered across Asia, teaching mortals the secrets of winemaking. After his extended vacation, Mr. D ascended Mount Olympus and became the last-arriving of the twelve Olympians.
Since he was the only demigod ever to become an Olympian, because he was raised on the mythical Mount Nysa (which was believed to be either far to the south or the east), and because he wandered Asia before arriving in Greece, he was seen as an outsider. This has always been an inherent part of his cult, which often focused on the more subversive elements of his nature. Mr. D was often called Eleutherios, meaning "the liberator," because his wine, music, and ecstatic dance freed his followers from self-consciousness and the restraints of society. He is the one who constantly crossed the boundary between the civilized and uncivilized and the known and unknown. He is a god of chaos and the protector of misfits."
I finished reporting the tale, seeing that the two Hermes kids we had added to our team were sold.
"Gods, you're such a nerd." Thalia frowned, unleashing laughter.
I pouted, rising from the ground: "Well, everyone knows what to do, Thalia, go play pinochle with Chiron and Mr. D, try to pull an all-nighter, we'll smuggle shit back in just before the crack of dawn."
"I'm the only one who doesn't like the idea of using cabin one as a warehouse for stolen stuff?" David grumbled.
"Hey, I live there and don't have a problem with it, so it's okay," Thalia reassured him.
"Besides, he may be the god of Rightful Law and whatnot, but if he obsessively obeyed it, Sparky would not be here." Luke poked at her sides, causing her to zap him as a retort.
"Why does it have to be me to act as a decoy?" She whined again.
"Because you're so powerful, you'll attract every monster on the east coast," Jim flippantly answered.
"Because Mr. D is your brother?" Luke hopefully added.
"Because you're the strongest and as such, you need to sacrifice yourself for the good of the mission." I nodded sagely.
"You make it sounds like she's going to seduce Mr. D..." David grumbled.
While Thalia was looking at us with a mixture of loathing and disgust, I stage whispered: "Fun-team, let's go!" and set off in the dark. We all had dinner before, so it had been easy sliding away from the crowd in the shared courtyard.
We reached my loyal pickup without problems; I took the driver seat, Luke and Jim took the loading floor while David sat beside me, lowering the rear window so that we would be able to talk with the other two demigods.
"I still dislike that a 13 years old kid is our driver." the son of Hephaestus said.
"Tough luck, I've been driving longer than anyone else." I defended my position for the four-hundredth time, "And the pickup is mine."
"That only means that you stole it first." He raised an eyebrow at me.
I shrugged, unrepentant: "We'll need to sacrifice part of the loot to Hermes, just to keep him on our good side for the next time."
"That's why we're taking as much shit as we can." Jim soothed us.
I laughed at that. I was reborn in a world were gods were real, and I dragged a bunch of teens into a stealing-expedition into the mundane world.
"Please leave the payment part to me, ok? Don't try and do shit with the Mist." I reminded them.
"You worry too much, RB." Luke soothed me, "We remember, we are on a timer, lots of places to visit."
"RB?" David questioned.
"Regular Bastard, unlike the rest of you, who have been recognized by your divine parent, and as such are Royal Bastards," I explained with a snort.
David frowned a bit: "RB can go for both the titles."
"That's kind of the point, dude." Jim quipped in.
And with that mindless chatter, we had reached the first Supermarket of our list.
For eight hours straight, we followed a precise plan, ticking off items from our shopping list. Boxes of wine, beer, rum, tequila... all kinds of alcohol made its way on the loading floor of the pickup.
Changing malls, we managed to get our hands on an awe-inspiring set of fireworks, even if David rumbled something unintelligible. As a Hephaestus kid, he likely wanted to build them on his own, only because he could.
The 'payment' consisted of me giving the mortal responsible blank pieces of paper along with a bucketload of Mist on his face. There was no need for cloak and dagger with the barest control over the Mist.
Pulling an all-nighter would have tired us, but Ambrosia was better than cocaine, and with fewer side effects too. Well, unless you were talking about overdose, in which case it turned lethal.
The other members of the team had been embarrassed at one of my stops, but I wasn't going to ignore it. I entered a pharmacy and left with no less than 400 rubbers, mark Durex, because I knew some shit was going to happen on the big-ass afterparty planned on the 31st August. Once Dionysus and Chiron were done chewing us out, we could at least point out that we had been responsible.
I didn't care shit if the kids were underage, demigods were naturally sturdier than average, and their livers could survive some drinking. The same reasoning went for sex.
The afterparty was going to be open to 12 years old or older since that was the lower age someone had when sent on a quest (but mostly because Thalia was 12). If Chiron deemed 12 years old responsible enough to risk their lives, then there was nothing forbidding them to have drunk and unsatisfying sex.
The counselors of the cabins were going to keep an eye on the younger ones; at least, I hoped so. The only ones to know something about this were Thalia, Luke, Jim, David, and me. We planned to let in on the plan the counselors of Dionysus, Hermes, and Apollo. After all, being presented with all the necessary for a more teen-friendly party would deceive them into helping us.
Finding people stealing-friendly outside of Hermes' cabin without giving up the game had been difficult enough, no need to risk it before it was necessary. Luckily, several demigods felt that the less they cared about mortals, the more they would result important to their divine parent.
It wasn't a coincidence that bar Luke, the others were orphans (of their mortal parent at not to attract attention to our tired state; I couldn't care less.
"Tyche, bless us in our endeavors, and I'll find something cool to sacrifice to you." I prayed with a greedy smile on my face once we reached the boundary with the Half-Blood camp.
"Who's that?" Luke asked.
"Our sister." Jim clarified.
"Daughter of Hermes and Aphrodite," David grumbled, adding something not very complimentary of unloyal wives., making the rest of us roll our eyes.
We sneaked through the fog, the dawn giving us enough light to reach cabin 1, where Thalia was waiting. We needed three trips from the pickup to the cabin, the daughter of Zeus busy taking in the stuff we had unceremoniously abandoned on her doorstep.
Each of us spent the rest of the day sleeping whenever we could, doing the bare minimum not to attract attention to our tired state. I knew that I waited the whole time for the other shoe to drop.
It didn't; Lupin III would have been proud and Diabolik as well.
That evening I once again found myself around the giant roaring fire in the shared courtyard.
I was laid on the ground near the fire, hoping that Hestia would take pity on me and come out to chat, when Thalia dropped at my side: "I want a jukebox."
I raised an eyebrow at her.
"I have your entire vinyl stash and no way to listen to it." She explained.
"You do realize that it means granting me access to your cabin anytime I want, yes?" I narrowed my eyes. Like hell, I was going to let her enjoy my music without reaping the benefits.
"I'm already hiding a vast amount of rubbers nobody warned me about." She retorted.
"Hey, those are the only responsible item we took." I justified them, "And the easiest to hide."
"Okay, you can come in whenever you want, deal?" Thalia surrendered.
"I'll see what I can do." I smiled greedily before raising from my position and looking for David.
I dragged the muscular short son of Hephestus where the others couldn't hear us: "If I get my hands on a jukebox, could you tinker with it to add different types of vinyl and maybe some big-ass speakers?"
His dark eyes brightened: "I never get to play with electric equipment as much as I'd like..."
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