บท 22: Brotherhood
A weight had been lifted from Jackson's person, and he surprised himself with how he reacted upon hearing the doctor's news.
He wasn't sad or outraged, he didn't try to deny the facts presented to him, nor did he try to leap out of bed in a prideful but foolish attempt to show that there was nothing wrong with him.
Instead, he felt uplifted, and the anxiety that had been strangling his heart vanished.
But he wasn't entirely overjoyed by this news, there was still a small part of him—in the back of his mind—that was anguished by this knowledge and the consequences of it.
'I'm sorry, I'm sure this must be quite a blow for you. I suggest you get some more rest, we still want to monitor you and make sure everything is alright before we let you head home, and in due time we'll check up on you again to see how your injuries are healing and when you'll be ready to start rehab.'
Dr Saad got up and left the room, Jackson's father stepped outside with her to ask some more questions, but Jackson didn't care, he laid his head back and closed his eyes, feeling at ease for the most part.
When the door to his room opened and closed again to announce his father's return, Jackson opened his eyes and looked around.
'You know, I'm alright, you guys… you don't have to babysit me forever, I'll be okay. I think I just need a bit more rest,' he said.
His mom looked at her husband, frowning a bit, then she looked at Eddie, he was still staring at his best friend with concern all over his face.
Chrissy's stomach grumbled loudly and she hid her face against her mom.
'I'll take Eddie and Chrissy home,' Mom said, getting up. 'Your parents must be wanting you back by now.'
'Oh, yeah I guess,' Eddie mumbled.
'I don't want to go home, I wanna stay with Jackie!' Chrissy whined, but her stomach growled louder.
'We'll get takeout on the way home now, stop being difficult, honey, your brother needs his rest.'
Eddie got up as well, though stepped closer to Jackson's side, offering him a fist bump. 'Hang in there, bro. I'll come see you again tomorrow, alright?'
Again the little voice piped up in the back of Jackson's mind, asking him if he was really okay with this. He leaned over carefully and used his good arm to return Eddie's fist bump.
'Okay… but you don't have to, I'll be alright, man… promise.'
Eddie just nodded before he turned away and went to the door, heading out with Jackson's mom and a semi-pouting Chrissy.
Tommy and Dad stayed in the room, sitting in chairs on either side of Jackson's bed. Though they didn't say anything for a while.
Jackson didn't say anything either, though as the silence dragged on, it began to become unbearable for him and he had to say something to break it. Of course, his mind went straight for football.
'Hey. How's your first year of college ball going anyway?' he asked Tommy.
Tommy grinned, glancing over at their dad. 'Oh man, Dad not keeping you up to date? It's really tough, I'm definitely not getting an easy ride just cause my dad is one of the coaches either.'
He laughed. Tommy was a TE for the Arizona State Sun Devils, and their dad was a positional coach, specifically for WRs and TEs on the team.
'Actually, I reckon I'm getting an even HARDER time than most of the other guys on the team.'
'Hey, at least no one can accuse me of favouritism that way, but you know I only push you so hard because I know you can handle it,' Dad said.
Tommy smiled and nodded. 'Remember that, lil bro. If you think your coaches are ever riding your ass way too hard, it's because they have faith in you, and want to get the best out of you.'
Jackson frowned a little, thinking back to the insane practice sessions that Coach Otsen put the whole team through and how tough he was on everyone.
'But yeah I uh, I've not had many snaps in any actual games, I'm still just the 3rd stringer, though it's better than being the 4th.' Tommy shrugged.
'Still, I give it my all every practice and every second I'm out there on the field, as long as I can contribute to the team's success, even in the smallest way, I'm happy.'
Their dad nodded. 'It takes every part of the team trying their hardest to get a win, every play is important, and everyone needs to give their all if you want any hope of success as a unit.'
Jackson sat there, listening quietly as the two older, wiser men conveyed their experiences to him.
It was encouraging and discouraging at the same time. Hearing how his brother—someone he'd always looked up to, and someone whose back he'd always chased after—struggled at the next level of football up from what Jackson was dealing with. It reaffirmed his desire to give up as there shouldn't be any way for him to succeed at the next level if even his brother was struggling.
But at the same time, the talk about hard work and never giving in, especially coming from the two men he looked up to most, couldn't help but ignite some sparks within the broken boy.
'I'm still loving it though, and I'm not worried about being a starter yet,' Tommy said with a soft smile. 'It actually reminds me of high school a lot.'
Jackson was intrigued, tilting his head. 'What do you mean?'
'Just, when I started then I was so helpless too and had to work my way up from the bottom. My freshman year, I didn't even start on JV… even though I was bigger than the other kids, I was so clumsy and lost out there. I totally wasn't ready for the jump from middle school to high school competition.'
Jackson was shocked to hear that, he thought it should've been a breeze for Tommy, and from what he could remember of watching his brother's games, he always seemed unstoppable out there on the high school field.
'But that didn't stop me from giving it my all. What I lacked in skill and experience, I made up for with determination and energy! I made it my goal to work harder than anyone and everyone, every single game, and every practice as well.
'So even if I gave my coaches headaches whenever I forgot what play we were supposed to be running, or if I messed up my routes or blocking assignment, I more than made up for it with my ability to hustle and never give up on any play. That's why they loved me.'
He paused for a moment, looking down at Jackson and leaning closer. 'They don't care about who's more talented or who can make the flashier plays. What they're really on the lookout for, are the guys who will never quit, and are always going to put in twice as much hard work as anyone else out there.'
Jackson couldn't take his eyes away from Tommy, his heart beating hard and heavy.
'Guys like that are the ones who make it far in this sport… they're the ones who have no limit, because the only real limit in this world is the one you lay down for yourself. If you're willing to work for it, you can do anything…'
Jackson's fists were clenched tight as his door opened again. It was a nurse this time, and the soft-spoken man told Dad and Tommy that visiting hours were over, it was late after all, and the patients needed their rest.
Jackson's dad kissed him on the head before he and Tommy left for the night.
The room was way too quiet, leaving Jackson alone with his thoughts as he lay in the darkness. He was even more confused than he had been before the accident, even more unsure of what he wanted.
But just like every night before, tears trickled down his face as he sunk into a restless, troubled sleep.
The next morning, Tommy showed up bright and early, as soon as visitors were allowed in to see the patients.
The two brothers continued to talk about football, but this time they weren't focused on either of their own careers, but that of the NFL and how this year could be the Cardinals' year.
Time passed a lot quicker with Tommy around, and later in the day, the two brothers were joined by Jackson's friends. Eddie was the first one through the door, though both Sachin and Marcus were close behind him.
The latter two were a bit horrified when they saw the state Jackson was in.
'Geez… I don't look that bad do I?' Jackson's attempted joke did little to lighten the mood.
'I'm just… really sorry man… like, it's horrible what happened,' Marcus said.
'It's fine… I'm fine.' Jackson tried to reassure them, but his friends were still looking at him like he'd had his leg blown off rather than just broken.
Eddie was the worst, he was absolutely distraught, and he couldn't stop blaming himself for what had happened, but… he was blaming himself even more for not seeing any signs of how upset his best friend had been.
Looking back on things after the accident, it was like his eyes had been opened for the first time, it should've been so obvious, and he was kicking himself for not doing something about it before it was too late.
Sachin and Marcus tried to make small talk and tell Jackson about what had happened at school that day, but whenever they brought up a new topic they were always hesitant and it soon fizzled out anyway.
It didn't help that whenever they tried to say something they had to do so over the loud, rapid tapping of Eddie's shoe against the tiled floor.
Eventually, Eddie stood up, having finally steeled himself. He looked Jackson right in the eyes, his body shaking a bit.
'Did you…' he started but caught himself; he already knew the answer to that question. 'No. Why did you do this to yourself?'
Tommy's eyes widened, and everyone's gaze was fixed on Jackson, awaiting his response.
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