บท 10: 'His'

Cordelia

It was almost midnight and I was already feeling frustrated. When will this man get drunk? I'd successfully managed to get him here in the open bar opposite the restaurant we dined in but my plan of making him speak what he knows only when he'll be under the influence of alcohol. By the time he ordered more drinks for us, I peeked into my purse which was on the verge of vanishing.

Seeing only about five bills inside, I decided to call it quits. 'Um, Jackson.'

'Yes?' He dreamily gazed into my eyes.

'I think you've had enough. We should probably leave.'

'What happened to reminisce the past?'

'We were never going to reminiscence. I just asked you to revisit the past with me.'

'There's a difference?'

'Yes! Firstly, our past isn't worth reminiscing, and secondly, revisiting it only means not forgetting the vile emotions we had for each other.'

He smirked for reasons only he knew. 'At least you agree we felt something for each other.'

With an eye roll I replied, 'Jackson, someone hating you isn't something you should be proud of.'

'Why not? At least the emotion was real, unlike the one you showed me that time when you were high on pretense.' I gulped. This hate game began with me every time. I would accept the blame but the guy right in front of me was the one who made me. 'So what do you want to know?' He asked out of the blue catching me off guard.

'Me? What would I want to know?' I dismissed it.

'You're avoiding eye contact.' I looked at him immediately. Before he could say something our drinks arrived. He went on to order some more.

'I told you we should leave.'

'Relax, I'll pay for it.'

My ears heated with embarrassment. You see, with him, I'd always maintained the status quo. When for the brief time we were going out in college I never let him pay for the fear that he would call me cheap in front of his people. He was this popular guy who was loved by everyone, was part of every circle without even knowing he was part of it, knew all the professors, and important people, and always got his way. Maintaining an image in front of him became necessary and it was that very façade that let me get myself into deeper trouble than I already was at that time.

'Do you remember that one time I got you caught?' I asked. If alcohol wasn't working then the painful past would.

He tilted his head. 'How can I forget? You were so good at being a bitch to me.'

I swear he would've gotten a smack on his head for this if I were to not get some answers out of him.

Fourteen years ago

'Delia, our homework is due tomorrow!' Stacy reminded me for the third time now.

'Stacy, I know! But look at this, how cool are these skirts? Let's go to buy them tomorrow.' I moved the fashion magazine in my hand towards her. She reluctantly took a look at it and I knew she was sold. Her mouth fell open. 'Do you still want to do homework?'

She nodded with a stern face. 'Yes, as that is what I am here for.' I sighed. She'd taken special permission from her mother to be at my home using homework as an excuse and if she didn't complete it there was a fair chance she wouldn't be able to join me again for a night stay.

'Fine. How about we finish this first and then look at the magazine?'

'Your eyes look pretty when they shine but let me remind you we have school tomorrow.'

I got up while she was still lying on the bed and nudged her a bit. 'Please learn to live like a teenager, Stacy. When will you grow up?'

'Understanding responsibilities is part of growing up.'

'Hold that thought right there!' I stood up now. 'Stacy, you're talking too old now. We need to do something about it.'

'What are you talking about Delia?' She turned over to stuff her face in the pillow to save her from any crazy idea I might have. Well, she was right. A crazy thought did germinate in my mind.

A few minutes later both of us were coming down from the window in my room using the ladder I'd kept hidden in my room. 'This is ridiculous!' She shouted.

'Shhh. You'll get us caught.' I whispered.

The mufflers we'd wrapped our necks with were doing a pathetic job of keeping us warm and both of us sneezed at the same time. Suddenly, the lights inside the house were lit. 'Shit, what do we do now, Delia?' Stacy was a deer on the verge of getting hit by a car and I had to drag her out of the house through the backyard.

We walked to the end of the road and then turned left to reach the hit place of what could be called the working class in this part of the city. The people who frequented this place were the ones who worked in the houses of the wealthy there. 'The liquor served here is in our budget.'

'Since when do you care about money and how do you even know this place?'

'Mom cut down my pocket money after our economics teacher complained I was missing classes for swimming practice.' Stacy's mouth formed an 'o'. 'As for this place, well someone led me here.'

Her eyes widened. 'You were here with someone? Who are you dating and why I don't know about this?'

'Relax, you know me. I would never date a low class who frequents here.'

'Then you must be a low life too.' Both of us turned to find him standing there in a white t-shirt and denim. He might wear casuals but they were always branded. I could easily tell where the clothes were brought from. But where did he get the money to pay for these remained a mystery. 'I've seen you here before a few times myself.'

I crossed my arms. 'We're not talking to you. Go back to doing whatever you were doing.' I interlocked my arms with Stacy's and was off to the counter that served the drinks. This used to be a shop that was abandoned years ago and since then the worker's association here had taken over to provide for the basic needs of those working in the area.

'I was admiring your beauty. Now that you're allowing me yourself I'll do it shamelessly without hiding.'

'Back off, Jackson!'

'Do your parents know you're here?'

I clenched my fists. 'Listen to me carefully. We don't know each other so just leave us alone.'

'You just took my name. How can I pretend I don't know who you are? Besides, you're beautiful to be forgotten.' His smirk always remains as a reminder for me to not be hypnotized by his lies.

'Too bad, if you weren't serving the morning tea to my neighbors every morning I would've hardly remembered you.' He sneered. Show people their real place and they will find a hard time accepting it. 'Now that you know an heiress like me can never be familiar with a servant like you, you can fuck off.'

Stacy nudged me. 'You're being rude.'

'Whatever.' I moved ahead and she followed me.

'Hey!' Jackson called me from behind.

'Now what?' I was turning when he came in front with a glass of beer and poured it all on my head. As I stood there stupefied the liquid trickled down to ruin my white night dress. Stains on this and the smell of alcohol would not go unnoticed when I enter the house. 'You!'

'Have a good night baby!'

I stomped my foot and returned with Stacy without having the fun I had anticipated. Not only were my plans ruined, as I had thought, but my parents also caught us as soon as we entered the house. Lectures after lecture until my ears were ready to bleed were given to me and then both of us were made to do the pending homework. The next morning Stacy's mother was informed of our little endeavor and any future night stays were canceled altogether, all thanks to that poor peasant!

When I came back from school, the first thing I did was to go and ring the bell of our neighbors. They needed to know where their house help was roaming around during the night.

Present

'Thanks to you I lost my job.' Jackson said gulping down another shot of vodka. I've lost count by now, to be honest.

'You should thank me for freeing you from those good-for-nothing people. I basically did you a favor.'

'So you decided I had to be the victim of your social service.' There was venom in his eyes.

'Everyone has to go through some tough times.' I murmured.

'Like you're experiencing now. Oh, I almost forgot to ask, how does it feel to be not able to pay rent?'

'I paid it.'

He scoffed. 'Then why did your landlady say she was going to kick you out?'

'You talked to her too? What else do you know?'

'Dear Cordelia, you're dying to know what shit you uttered to me while you were drunk that day, don't you?' I gasped. 'I'm not telling you.' He winked.

I groaned and got up to leave when someone blocked my way. A group of guys was trying to sit at the table beside us and were arguing about who will sit where. 'Excuse me, please let me through.' I said loudly. I don't know why people get so sensitive in places like this that the guy right in front of me took offense and pushed me.

I faltered in my steps. 'Can't you see we're talking, you bitch?'

'What the…..' 'Talk to her with respect!' Jackson was by my side in an instant and had an arm around my shoulder.

'Jackson, let me….'

The way the weird guy laughed, I could tell he was already drunk. They were here for a second or third round probably. 'Now that I look at you, why don't you join us?' Oh, he dared to invite me.

'I would pass.' I said making a disgusting face to assure him of the big no.

He still had it in him to move his hand reaching out to me but thankfully Jackson caught it mid-way and twisted it so hard I was afraid he was going to be booked for assault. 'Jackson, leave him. Let's go.'

He removed his hand from me and then took a step to grab the guy by his collar. 'Fuck off from here, before I decide to twist your head for trying to lay a hand on my woman.' I had goosebumps all over my hands hearing that. He called me 'his' woman.

Jackson insisted he drop me home. I didn't decline. He stared at the road all the time while I couldn't take my eyes off him. I shouldn't be drawn to him. He said it in the spur of a moment, Cordelia. He didn't mean it. I told myself continuously.

'I meant it.' His lips uttered and my heart was ready to fall. He hit the break and the sudden jerk forced me to place a hand on his thigh. His glance followed my hand and then our eyes met. I gulped. Don't be like this Jackson. The past cannot repeat itself.