บท 76: Only Bad Kids Stay Up All Night
"The best time to see the Lyrids meteor shower would be sometime starting
late tonight, and it should continue into tomorrow morning—"
The news came from the television, which they sometimes left on during
dinner, and Amane swallowed the food he was chewing and made an
interested sound. "Oh?"
Amane had never been the type to watch much television, and if he did
have the television on, he was either playing a game, watching some variety
show, or viewing a news program that succinctly reported on the events of
the day.
Since he tended to get most of his news from browsing social media
sites, which were the noisiest places on the web, he hadn't heard about the
meteors until that day.
"A meteor shower?"
"People have been talking about it for a while—," Mahiru replied,
giving Amane a look of subtle exasperation.
He sipped his miso soup with a look of feigned ignorance on his face.
Delicious today as always, he thought earnestly, and looked up at Mahiru.
Sure enough, that look of slight exasperation was still trained on him.
He just sighed quietly, as if he didn't intend to say anything more on the
matter.
"Anyway," Mahiru explained, "this one doesn't have quite as many
meteors, compared to the other meteor showers in the big three, but since
the weather will be pretty good and it will be easy to watch outside, the
members of the astronomy club are apparently having a meteor shower
observation party as a club activity."
"Come to think of it, I feel like I might have heard the astronomy club
members in our class talking about something like that."
It wasn't really polite to eavesdrop on other people's conversations, and
anyway the classmates he wasn't friendly with were basically strangers.
Amane didn't have any interest in what they were saying, so even when he
did overhear something, he let it wash right over him like white noise.
As a result, he lost many opportunities to find common ground with
other people. This was something about himself that he recognized was not
good. He didn't have much inclination to fix it, though.
"Amane, you tend to ignore anything that doesn't concern you, don't
you? When you're talking to someone, and they bring up something that's
on their mind, that's an opportunity to make a real connection. So if you
pay a little more attention, things will be easier for you in the future."
"I'm just not that interested in other people. I'm perfectly happy with
just you, Itsuki, Chitose, and Kadowaki."
If the meteor had been something Mahiru, Itsuki, or even Chitose had
mentioned, he probably would have remembered every detail, but
predictably, when it came to people he didn't know, he only barely listened
to their conversation and then promptly forgot it.
"Well, if nothing else, that's very like you."
"I just don't want to get that involved with strangers, I guess. I'm not the
type to make lots of friends. I'm happy with fewer, deeper friendships."
"That's because your circle of friends is small, Amane. Mine is wide and
shallow, with an oceanic trench in the very center."
"Oceanic trench?"
"It means that the people I develop deep relationships with are special."
Mahiru gave him a slightly impish smile, and Amane wondered whether
he made the cut as one of those special people, but he couldn't bring
himself to ask.
If it wasn't so conceited, he would assume he occupied pretty much the
most intimate position at the center of Mahiru's circle of friends. He was
unsure whether he was the one who was closest to her, but she did let her
guard down around him and spoiled him from time to time, so he figured he
made the cut as one of those special people.
Thinking about it made him kind of embarrassed, so he took another sip
of miso soup to try to hide it.
Information about the best place and time to observe the meteors was
coming from the television.
According to the TV, the region where Amane and Mahiru lived was
part of the best viewing area. Weather-wise, it was predicted there wouldn't
be a cloud in the sky, so conditions for observing the meteor shower were
likely to be ideal.
They were set up for such favorable conditions that Amane too started
thinking that it might be nice to observe the event, at least for a little while.
"It might be interesting to watch the shooting stars now and then, huh?"
"Heh-heh, it is a rare opportunity. The weather has a funny tendency to
be bad on the days of the biggest meteor showers."
"I suppose there's never a guarantee that it'll be clear skies just because
there's a meteor shower."
"That's right. Which is why tonight is perfect."
"…But it's late, huh? I don't care about being sleepy today, but I'm
afraid of how it might hit me tomorrow. We don't have gym class
tomorrow, so I might be able to get by just staring out the window, but…"
Naturally, staying up all night the day before they had gym class,
especially long distance running, would result in a rough time and Amane
would have never considered taking on such obvious hardship. But if it was
just a normal day in the classroom, staying up until two or three in the
morning didn't seem too bad.
He had always been the type of person who was fine with less sleep. It
wasn't as if he always went to sleep late, but he had no problem staying up
a little for a chance like this one.
If possible, he would have liked to observe from a wide-open place like
the park, but it was dangerous to go out walking at night, and if something
happened, they might even be detained by the police, so they would have to
enjoy the meteor shower from home. Out on the balcony would be best.
Even so, they wouldn't have any difficulty observing the night sky, so
that was the plan.
With that decided, Amane started thinking about the tasks ahead of them
that they needed to get through to finish their schoolwork and complete
their daily routines, when Mahiru made an uneasy, anxious expression.
"…Is something the matter?"
"No, I want to see the meteors, too, but…I was thinking about what to
do."
"Because staying up late is the enemy of healthy skin?"
She kept a consistent routine and was more serious about her appearance
than most people. Basic skin care dictates that the skin is restored during
sleep, so Mahiru never failed to get enough rest.
"Well, there's that too, but…um, isn't it preferable to observe meteor
showers in places where there's no light around?"
"Well yeah, that's true."
Everyone had heard before that the starry night sky looked more
beautiful in the countryside than in the city.
Because of air pollution—and, more importantly, the light pollution in
the city—it was easier to make out the twinkling of the stars away from the
dense population centers.
Illuminating the black of night was a normal sign of human activity. But
that artificial brilliance obstructed the natural light that celestial bodies gave
off as they burned their lives away.
It made sense that if there were artificial lights nearby, to the human eye,
the brilliance of the stars would seem diminished.
"…I, um, you'll probably think this is childish, but I can't really handle
being alone in the pitch-dark."
Mahiru chose her words carefully and mumbled them with some
hesitation before putting on an anxious smile.
"I'm fine when I'm sleeping, but…well, just sitting there waiting, not so
much. There's a buzz in my chest, like I can't calm down, so—"
Mahiru cast her eyes downward a little and trailed off, her voice
becoming gradually quieter. Then she must have noticed that Amane was
staring at her, because she rushed to raise her head and put on a courageous
smile.
It was obvious to Amane, who had been spending a lot of time with her,
that Mahiru was bluffing.
"After all, the official account for the observatory puts their broadcast
archive up on video sites, so maybe I'll just watch that."
"…You don't want to be alone?"
"Well, it's… I'll get lonely, is all."
She didn't use the word afraid, but she looked as if she was kind of
frightened and was trying not to show it.
Even Amane wasn't complacent enough to ignore it when he saw her in
that state.
"…Want to come watch it here?"
"Ah—"
"I'm planning to stay up tonight, so if you want to come to my place and
watch it together, I really don't mind."
They were both staying up for the same purpose, so he saw no issue with
watching the meteor shower together. And they were always hanging out at
his place anyway, and spending time alone together, so it was probably no
big deal, he thought, as his gaze slid over to Mahiru, but—Mahiru's eyes
disappeared and reappeared behind the curtain of her eyelashes several
times as she blinked in obvious surprise.
Amane wondered why she would be so surprised, then in the next
moment, he realized what was wrong, and a gasp escaped his mouth.
It's obvious that a boy and a girl being alone together in the middle of
the night is no good, isn't it?!
It had become so natural to have Mahiru around that he had made the
suggestion even though common sense dictated that it wasn't a good idea
for two people of the opposite sex who weren't in a serious relationship to
be spending time together late at night like that.
Obviously Amane had no bad intentions, but it was still true that he had
said something that sounded suspicious, depending on how she took it.
Of course Mahiru would be shocked.
"W-wait, I don't mean anything shameful by that, okay?! It's, I just… I
thought that maybe you could stay up to watch the meteors if you had
somebody with you, and that maybe we could watch them together, that's
all."
"…Would it be okay for me to be here?"
She looked at him, wide-eyed with hope, and yet when she said that,
Amane was the one who felt a sense of impending danger.
"Uh, th-that's my line… You're supposed to think it's dangerous."
"If you were really a dangerous person, you wouldn't warn me
beforehand."
"…That may be true, but you should still be careful."
"I am being careful!"
Even though he thought she was definitely lying, the most important
thing to Amane was that Mahiru's expression had brightened. Somehow or
other, the bad thoughts had been washed out of her mind, and that had to be
a good thing.
For Amane's part, he was the one who had invited her, and he had no
intention of doing anything, so as long as he could keep ahold of himself,
there should be no problem. That was what he decided.
"…So um, after we eat dinner, I'll just…go home for a bit. And come
back after I'm done having my bath and changing clothes and stuff, so…"
"S-sure. I'll go ahead and get ready for bed, too."
It seemed that in Mahiru's mind, the fact that she was coming over was
settled.
She seemed relieved, and a soft smile spread over her face, revealing a
sense of security and feelings of happiness. Amane let his eyes start to drift
around the room.
"I'm looking forward to it, to the shooting stars," she said in a tone of
voice that was sweet and a little lively.
"Me too," Amane managed to answer, before taking another sip of his
rapidly disappearing miso soup to hide his embarrassment again.
"I'm coming in."
Just as she'd said she would, Mahiru went home once, then returned
timidly to Amane's place before midnight.
Typical Mahiru, she must have understood that it would be a big issue
for her to come in her nightclothes, because she was dressed in casual
clothing instead. Her hair was in a single loose braid, and she was wearing a
flowy cream-colored dress.
Amane was sure she wouldn't have dared, but he'd nevertheless
prepared himself to make an about-face if she had shown up in her
nightclothes. He was relieved that wasn't the case, but even so, she did look
somehow different than usual, which he chalked up to the fact that it was an
unusual time of night for her to be there.
He got flustered just going to the door to greet her and was worried she
might think he was acting strange. But whether or not Mahiru noticed
Amane's agitation, she just put on a gentle smile.
"…Um, the meteor shower is going to reach its peak quite late at night,
so I'm sure it's going to be hard to stay up until then… You'll be here for
several hours. Is that all right?"
"Yep. Thanks for having me."
Mahiru bowed her head politely and followed right behind Amane as he
invited her in. Together they went into the living room.
Amane had gone ahead and moved the low table to make space by the
window, so that observation would be easier, and had laid out Mahiru's
favorite cushions.
He had considered dragging the beanbag that she loved so much out
from his bedroom, but if they weren't careful, sinking down into the
beanbag could mean falling asleep and defeating the whole purpose of the
evening, so he had decided not to bring it out.
He had also readied a small blanket for a lap warmer, but Mahiru was
somewhat lightly dressed, so he draped a large sweatshirt that he had also
laid out over her shoulders, then sat down beside her.
"You thought of everything, didn't you?"
"…Normally, you're the one who does that, so I thought that at least for
something like this, I should make sure that everything was ready."
Smirking at her lack of confidence in his preparations, Amane turned the
lights down with a remote control, and Mahiru shivered slightly.
"Sorry, I should have said something before I turned the lights off, huh?"
"No…I was just a little startled, it's fine."
As she said that, Amane decided it was best not to point out that her
fingertips were grasping lightly at the hem of his sweatshirt.
Without saying a word, Amane scooted just a little bit closer to Mahiru,
trying to do it in a way that seemed natural, and then quietly turned his gaze
out the window.
He wasn't normally aware of it, but when he looked up at the sky again,
he noticed its marvelous hues—a little bit of blue and purple mixed into
almost-black navy blue, clear yet mysteriously impenetrable.
It was a peaceful color, which seemed to set off the sparkle of the inlaid
stars all the more.
The sky looked more beautiful than usual that night, and the small
specks of light adorning it seemed to twinkle more intensely.
"So beautiful," Amane mouthed noiselessly. He glanced sidelong at
Mahiru and saw her looking silently at the sky beyond the window.
The moonlight illuminated her, tracing the contours of her graceful
silhouette.
Her long eyelashes seemed to glow slightly in the faint light, but it
might have been his imagination, a trick Amane's eyes were playing on him
as he looked at the girl he loved.
The only thing he knew for sure was that the Mahiru sitting beside him
was somehow different than usual. She looked ethereal, almost diaphanous,
and she emanated a bewitching charm.
"…It's so pretty. I haven't spotted any shooting stars yet, but even just
like this, I think it's a perfectly wonderful sight."
She seemed to notice him looking at her and turned to face Amane with
a faint smile. That was the exact moment Amane realized that he had
forgotten himself for a second. He nodded, flustered. "It sure is. I've never
sat quietly and looked up at the stars in the middle of the night like this
before, so it's a wonderfully novel experience."
"Settling in to watch the stars seems so simple, but it's something we
almost never do in modern society, where life is so rushed."
"You're right. And it's too bad that it's kind of hard to see the stars from
here. If we were at my parents' house, we could spread a tarp out in the
yard and lie down to watch. The stars would be easier to see than they are
here."
Amane's parents' house was located in an area with less traffic and
fewer artificial lights, so the stars were clearly visible.
Their garden was also fairly large and well-maintained, so it would have
been possible to spread out a tarp and observe the sky. Amane recalled
lying out there with his parents to stargaze when he was small, though never
for a meteor shower, and he smiled slightly at the nostalgic memory.
"Oh yes, I can only imagine; that would be wonderful."
"Well, it's out in the countryside, not like this place. The landscape
around it is beautiful, too."
"How nice. Growing up, I lived in the penthouse of a condo building, so
the night sky did look pretty from there, but…I'm sure it must be much
prettier seeing it from your house, Amane."
Amane had no idea how to respond to that. Mahiru chuckled quietly and
calmly shifted her gaze back out the window.
There was a look in her eyes as if she was gazing at some place far, far
away.
"Now the stars look so much prettier than they used to."
"…Oh?"
After somehow managing that little answer, Amane said nothing further
and looked up at the sky just as Mahiru was doing.
He thought about suggesting they go out on the balcony, but he didn't
want to move now that Mahiru was by his side, so he just quietly gazed up
at the starry sky.
The sky, full of glittering ancient lights just now reaching the Earth, told
Amane and Mahiru nothing. It just twinkled faintly, illuminating the dark,
peaceful night.
Silence, heavy with a curious yet pleasant feeling of tension, filled the
room.
The only thing audible was the sound of their breathing and the rustling
of their clothes. Somewhere far away, a car alarm briefly sounded.
Neither of them knew how much time passed as they sat there like that.
Mahiru let out a little gasp in a childish voice, not quite managing to say
an actual word.
When Amane reflexively looked over at her, he saw her gaze gliding
across the sky, her clear eyes seeming to chase after something.
He stared, engrossed, at her face and eyes, sparkling as beautifully as
any star—then a moment too late, he realized that she had found a shooting
star.
Amane hurriedly turned toward the window, but the life span of a
meteor is short, and it had already burned out.
Chiding himself for missing it, he contented himself with the thought
that he had seen something even more beautiful.
"…Did you wish for something?"
"Don't you think it has a better chance of coming true if I don't tell
you?"
"Is that how it works?"
"In any case, what I wished for just then was…less of a wish, more like
a prayer, or an oath, so…"
So it's a secret.
Mahiru looked bashful for a moment, then stared straight at Amane.
"So then what did you wish for, Amane?"
"Uh…well, I, nothing really."
There was no way he could tell Mahiru he had been distracted looking at
her, so he tried to avoid the question with a vague answer, but apparently
his scheme was transparent.
"You weren't really watching, were you?" Mahiru smiled knowingly.
"Uh…I'll get a good look at the next one."
"He-he, make sure you do."
Mahiru laughed with her hand covering her mouth, then turned her gaze
out the window again.
Amane was intently watching the sky so that Mahiru wouldn't have a
reason to tease him again, when he noticed her shivering.
Though it was spring, the night was chilly, so they had the heater on. But
Amane's sense of cold and Mahiru's were different. Mahiru always had a
lower body temperature, so she probably wasn't warm enough with just a
sweatshirt and a blanket.
Amane peered stealthily at Mahiru's face, worried that he had been
insufficiently prepared after all, and he must have startled her, because her
eyes widened.
"…Aren't you cold?" Amane asked.
"No. You lent me your jacket, so I'm fine… It's big and warm."
"…That's good."
Mahiru had put her arms through the sleeves of the sweatshirt, and she
smiled sweetly, which made Amane feel awkward. He bit his tongue to
keep his cheeks from melting into a smile.
The sweatshirt was hopelessly baggy on Mahiru.
Amane didn't know if it was just him or if this was true for other boys,
too, but he liked it when she was dressed like that, in a way that made the
differences in their physique really stand out. The sight made him quite
embarrassed.
It was also adorable how her fingers just poked out of the sleeves and
were holding on to the hem of Amane's shirt. Filled with unspeakable joy
and awkwardness, Amane started to get to his feet.
"…Um, I'm gonna go make us some hot drinks; you can stay there."
"Ah…"
But a small noise and slight resistance from Mahiru kept Amane firmly
planted on the floor.
Mahiru's hand, which had been clinging to his hem until a moment
earlier, now clasped Amane's hand, holding on to him as if to tell him not to
go.
Her delicate fingers were quite chilly, which confirmed to him that she
was colder than usual, and he saw her shiver again, in a way that didn't
seem to be the fault of the cold.
"S-sorry for stopping you."
"…No, it's fine… Your hands are pretty chilly, Mahiru."
When Amane stiffened, those delicate fingertips tried to pull away in a
panic, so Amane dared to wrap her hands in his own and squeeze back.
As soon as he did that, she looked relieved, so he surmised that she was
afraid to be left alone, although she didn't say as much.
Mahiru squeezed him back gently, as if she was depending on him, and
she must have been embarrassed, too, because she lowered her eyes
slightly. But she didn't seem ready to let Amane go.
"It's just that your hands are warm, Amane. You're always so warm, it
feels nice to have you beside me."
"…Oh, really?"
He didn't know exactly what she meant by that, and he didn't ask, but he
did understand that she liked him, at least.
In that moment, that alone was plenty for Amane.
Gently holding his hand, Mahiru glanced over at the clock.
She squinted to check the time and saw that almost two hours had
passed since she had come over to observe the meteors.
"This is the first time I've ever intentionally stayed up this late at night.
Normally, I'm only still awake at this time when I'm having trouble
sleeping. What a bad kid I'm being!"
"It's good to be a bad kid from time to time. I'm being bad with you,
too."
"…He-he, I wonder if it's okay for me to be bad, though."
"I'm sure everyone is good sometimes and bad sometimes. We're only
human, so we don't have to do everything perfectly all the time. It's totally
fine for us to be bad kids, just for tonight. You and I are the only ones here,
so no one's going to criticize or complain."
Amane smiled and said there was no issue as long as they kept it a
secret, which made Mahiru smile, too.
Her smile revealed relief and a feeling of happiness, as if she had been
rescued from something, and Mahiru squeezed Amane's hand again, then
leaned in close to him.
He stiffened for a moment but didn't move away and kept his cool.
Mahiru softly brought her face close to Amane's ear.
"…Can I be a little bit naughtier?"
"Sure. What do you want?"
"…I'm hungry. Let's have a midnight snack."
She made the suggestion in a quiet, slightly guilty-sounding voice, as if
she really thought that was a naughty thing to do.
It seemed to take courage for her to ask for such a trivial thing, which
she apparently thought was really bad.
In response to this extremely adorable request, Amane nodded with a
gentle smile.
"Absolutely. Let's be bad together."
Eating instant ramen with heaps of toppings in the middle of the night
seemed like just the right amount of naughtiness.
Wearing an easy smile, Amane stood up again.
This time he was still holding Mahiru's hand.
"I think we have some seasoned eggs in the fridge, and some braised
pork and cheese, too. Since we're doing this, let's go all out."
"…Seems like it'll be bad for our stomachs to eat all that in the middle
of the night."
"We're being bad, so there's no helping it," Amane replied jokingly, and
Mahiru put on a cheerful, excited smile.
Grinning at each other, the two of them headed for the kitchen.
Their clasped hands weren't shivering anymore.
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