บท 280: Affection of the Past
When Yaan opened his eyes, the Spirit Plane Lord and Primordial Sage were looking down at him.
When he regained consciousness, he made no movements and even his thoughts didn't stir. Even so, the Sage still noticed that he was awake and forced him to get up.
"Brother! You're awake, I'm so relieved…you slept for three years, it's good that it didn't last for too long…"
The one to speak was of course the Spirit Plane Lord. Yaan stared at her for a moment, once again finding it strange that she didn't bother hiding the pained concern and anxiety in her eyes. Even if she did believe him to be her brother, wasn't this level of vulnerability a bit much…?
He didn't overthink it for long and glanced at the Primordial Sage. As expected, her expression was the same as ever – emotionless and unreadable.
After a period of silence, Yaan asked:
"Is there anything else?"
The Spirit Plane Lord paused momentarily, caught off guard by his abrupt question. For someone to ask this, and not even question their own well-being after experiencing something like he had just been through, was truly unusual.
In the end though, it wasn't too unexpected, since he had been acting like this ever since arriving on the Spirit Plane.
"Of course, there's more…" The Spirit Plane Lord nodded and put on a smile, which looked slightly forced, but extremely motivated in Yaan's eyes.
"Another inheritance?" Yaan asked.
"No, those two Divine True Inheritances were the only ones in my possession that you could attempt due to their simplicity…brother- no, Yaan…the life that you have lived until now, at least, the life that you remember, has been difficult. You have been through far too much hardship, pain and struggle, yet you have experienced so little of the beauty of this world. I want to show you…that there is always light in the darkness."
"I see…go ahead, show me." Yaan replied, giving her a faint nod.
There was a clear difference in the enthusiasm between the pair, but the Spirit Plane Lord didn't let this get to her.
Meanwhile, the Primordial Sage watched silently from the side. It seemed that for now, she had no intention of interfering.
Ripple…
The world around Yaan turned into countless ripples. He blinked, then looked around him. After a few moments, his gaze settled on the lands below.
The scene below him was, without a doubt, the most incredible thing that Yaan had ever seen in his life.
For one, the fact that right now, he could see clearly for countless miles in every direction, was definitely unusual. Clearly, the Spirit Plane Lord had done something to enhance his eyesight by tens of thousands of times!
Yaan struggled to even estimate how wide his field of vision had become, but it must have been in the range of millions of miles at the very least!
If he could only see the area that spanned across millions of miles, it would be nothing special – the key point was that he could see every fine detail throughout the lands below…
The Spirit Plane Lord said nothing, simply watching as Yaan looked around in silence.
He looked down and saw the Spirit Palace in all its glory. The palace was larger than a mortal nation, and its majesty could be felt from countless miles away. It was pure white in colour, but it also glowed with a faint yet unmatched golden aura.
The palace was surrounded by gardens, which were adorned by countless rare herbs and plants. Small animals could be seen running and flying throughout the gardens, each one of them more colourful and wondrous than the last.
This entire land was actually an island, an island positioned in the centre of the Infinity Lake. The lake spanned out for a distance so far that it would be considered an ocean, were it not for the extreme stillness of the waters.
Beyond the lake…was a sect.
"This is the Spirit Sect." The Spirit Plane Lord spoke gently. "It is the sect that I established for the sake of nurturing more divinities for the Primordial Alliance. However, I had another reason for establishing this sect…this world is too cruel, and I wanted to create a place that would be free from cruelty. The Spirit Sect occupies the entire 9th Layer of Heaven on the Spirit Plane, and it is free from mundane suffering."
"Free from suffering?" Yaan asked, with an almost mocking tone. "There is no such place in this world."
"Maybe not…but my Spirit Sect is as close as you will find to such a utopia. There is no war here, nor is there any danger. Nobody will starve, or struggle due to thirst, or even find the need to fight over resources. In the Spirit Sect, everything is provided…"
Yaan became silent and looked out across the sect. He spent a long period of time searching this place, seeing if what she said was really true.
In the end, she was right…but also not.
This sect was indeed free from 'mundane suffering'. Food was aplenty, as were resources. Nobody here was forced to fight in order to survive, safety was assured; it was a paradise.
But people still suffered.
All life was bound by death. Death, and dying, were almost aways accompanied by pain and suffering. And for cultivators, seeking an escape from this inevitable end drove them towards further pain and suffering.
It was difficult to describe the Spirit Sect with any word other than 'perfection'.
Endless natural scenes of beauty – seven-coloured forests, oceans made from golden clouds, deserts filled with purple sand that glowed with a relaxing aura which nourished the soul…
Palaces built upon an endless surplus of free land, using materials which never ran dry. Temples integrated into trees which stretched thousands of miles into the sky. Cave abodes which drew upon the natural energies from dozens of mountain ranges, all to support a single cultivator's practise…
It was truly perfect.
"To build this paradise for the people here…people elsewhere need to suffer." Yaan commented plainly.
"That is correct…that is the way of the world." The Spirit Plane Lord replied without hesitation.
"And even though this place is a 'paradise'…people still leave and seek suffering of their own accord." Yaan added.
This time, she became silent for a few moments before responding.
"It is impossible to travel far down the path of cultivation without ever leaving this place…eventually, if they wish to continue their paths, the disciples must venture out into the wider world."
If they stayed forever, they would grow old and weak, and die whilst suffering, regretting their choice to not seek a greater future. And if they left…
They would leave this wonderland and enter the real world, a world where suffering was available in abundance.
"What do you think?"
When Yaan heard this question, which contained a hint of a hopeful tone, he replied quite bluntly.
"It's a nice idea, however…life is suffering."
The Spirit Plane Lord sighed. She saw that Yaan wouldn't be moved by something like this, so she decided to move on.
Yaan felt like she was doing something pointless. No matter what sort of incredible thing she showed him, would it stir his heart? Did she really think that showing him some incredible place, or some breath-taking natural landscape, could possibly mend him?
The Spirit Plane Lord took a step and the world around them rippled once again. When Yaan's eyes refocussed, he found that there was nothing around him aside from a small temple within the midst of a forest.
The forest was filled with thick fog, but this fog had a slight green hue and exuded the power of nature. In fact, it almost seemed as if the forest itself was breathing, causing the fog to pulsate every few moments.
"This is a small forest called the Verdant Breath Forest. It is located in the Spirit Sect's Western Outer Sect and is one of the ten thousand forests growing on the roots of the World Tree."
Yaan turned to face the Spirit Plane Lord and waited for her to explain why they were here. Whilst this forest was quite a good cultivation environment, aside from a single Foundation Step cultivator within that temple, there was nothing else here.
She did not explain their reason for being here, but looked at Yaan with a smile.
"I brought this girl into the sect shortly after we met for the second time, via the True-False Illusion World, Yaan. I haven't done anything special to help her, but I have kept an eye on her and made sure that she has been living well. Come…let's go inside. Oh, and - she won't be able to see us unless you want her to see us."
Yaan felt slightly bewildered by all of this. So they were here to meet a woman?
The Spirit Plane Lord called her a girl, but Yaan could see that although she looked young, this woman was at least 300 years old.
When he realised that he could see through the thick fog which pervaded the forest, through the temple walls, and that he was even able to discern this woman's age with a single glance, all with his own abilities, Yaan had the thought that this was a bit strange. The Spirit Plane Lord was no longer enhancing his eyesight, and he possessed no cultivation base…meaning that he was doing all of this with his dao comprehension alone.
The fact that he could achieve all of this so easily, without even thinking about it, made him realise that his dao comprehension had unknowingly risen to an extremely high level.
In fact, the woman within the temple was at the Spirit Soul Realm, and yet, Yaan felt no sense of danger from her at all. With his dao comprehension alone, he could completely overwhelm Rank 5 beings.
In the past, this would have brought him great excitement, but now…he didn't even care.
He was soon brought out of his straying thoughts as they entered the temple.
It was a quaint wooden temple, with no furnishings whatsoever. There was only one room, and the woman sat on the floor, absorbing the green fog from outside via a rune that was drawn on the ground. The green fog was siphoned into the temple in a concentrated form, then channelled into her nostrils with each breath. She had aligned her breathing with the pulsation of the forest, making her look like she had fused into the forest itself.
The woman was a beauty, but this was normal for any Rank 5 cultivator. For someone at her level, she was nothing special, but she had a sort of charm that Yaan could not quite put his finger on. Was it her green, flowery robes, which somewhat reminded him of his late mortal wife…?
No, it was something else…
Suddenly, Yaan felt extremely strange. He realised that this woman's 'charm' was not any sort of innate charm, but an inherent feeling that he personally felt towards her.
Yaan could no longer see any karmic chains now that the Primordial Sage's old plan had reached an end, however, he had unknowingly developed an understanding of karma due to her interference in his life. Because of this, he could tell that he shared some sort of connection with this woman.
Yaan felt attracted to the woman, but this was not romantic or sexual attraction. This sort of attraction was one that he had not felt for a long, long time…
This feeling…
"What is this feeling…?" Yaan muttered to himself under his breath without realising it.
As he spoke, the woman opened her eyes and looked around. She blinked and frowned for a moment.
"What is this feeling? Why does my heart…hurt so much…?" The woman muttered under her breath.
The Spirit Plane Lord showed an unusual expression.
"She cannot see or hear us, or sense us in any way, but her motherly instinct has carried over from her last life…unfortunately, she does not understand this…"
For a moment, Yaan froze. It was only a brief instant, but in this instant, he almost forgot about the pain in his heart. It was only the briefest, most insignificant of instants, but this was enough to shake him, something that nothing else had been able to do ever since his rebirth…
"What did you just say?" He asked the Spirit Plane Lord without turning to her, as he continued to stare at the confused-looking woman.
She didn't directly answer his question, but instead, finally explained why they were here.
"I see you as my brother, the Primordial Devil, but you see yourself as Yaan, a human-turned-demon. My brother never once cared about the life of a single mortal in this world, but it's clear that you have undergone a change. You have lived a new life, as if starting from the beginning once again. It is only natural that you would develop feelings and relationships with these people that you once deemed as lesser beings. I realised this when we met via the True-False Illusion World back then, which is why I immediately sought out the people in your life whom you cared for, but had unfortunately lost their lives…"
"I'm afraid that I acted too late, most of those people were cultivators, meaning they were judged by the Divine Court and had already been through the cycle of reincarnation and ended up on the Qi Plane once again. However, I was able to find one person from your life on my Spirit Plane…"
"Yaan…this is your mother."
A storm of emotions rushed through Yaan's heart, battling against the numbing pain that dwelled within him. The storm raged with immense power as Yaan stared at the reincarnation of his mother, whom he had not seen for so many years…
For a short period of time, Yaan was left there in a daze, unable to move, or even think.
And then, after a few moments passed by, the storm of emotion was relentlessly crushed down by the pain inside him. However, these emotions could only be crushed, not extinguished.
Actually, Yaan was not overly surprised that he could still feel this way. After all, he had accepted that he still possessed a heart, however…the fact remained that his heart was filled with pain.
And seeing his mother only served to further reinforce this fact.
Yaan cast a deep look at the woman, who had returned to her cultivation after looking confused for a brief moment.
Without a word, he turned around and left.
The Spirit Plane Lord watched him in surprise, before furrowing her brows and quickly following after him.
"Why are you leaving? Do you not want to see her? I know that you felt something, Yaan!"
She almost sounded desperate as she called out to him, but Yaan answered her without looking back.
"I don't want to see her…and I never said that I can't feel emotions."
What he said was only half true. It wasn't really that he didn't want to see her, rather…he didn't want her to see him.
Yaan felt bitter.
She…was not his mother. And he didn't just say this because she was a reincarnation…
Yaan saw himself as a parasite that had devoured the Dao Soul of a young, six year old human boy named Yaan, before replacing the pitiful child without even realising it.
He…did not want his mother to see what he had become.
For a moment, Yaan paused.
'I don't want her to see me…? That could be considered a desire…and also compassion…just what is going on with me…?'
Yaan showed nothing on his face. The Spirit Plane Lord couldn't tell what he was feeling, and even the Primordial Sage couldn't see through him! From their perspective, Yaan was completely unmoved, unaffected…
Only Yaan knew that the pain in his heart was simply masking everything else; he could still feel, he still had a heart, emotions and everything else.
But just this was not enough to rekindle his desire to live, in fact, it wasn't even close. However, Yaan knew that something inside him had started to change…
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SpicyDaoist
SpicyDaoist I'm pretty excited for tomorrow's chapter (280). I try to avoid giving spoilers, but starting from the next chapter, Desolate Fate's world building will finally begin to delve into 'The True Nature of This World'
That's not a spoiler, it's the next chapter's title, so it doesn't count :P
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