บท 5: I am Soldier Boy

As my vision faded, I again fell back into the memories of Soldier Boy.

Frederick Vought had more than delivered. My strength, durability, speed, stamina, agility, senses and reflexes all increased to superhuman levels. I was invincible, and nothing could stop me. But most important of all, my inability to master my skills disappeared as my mind and body learned at an alarming rate. I was able to become an expert in all the things that previously eluded me.

"This power, father, won't be able to deny my worth."

I was ready to show the world and my father what I could do, and Vought was willing to show the government what he could provide.

Due to my value to the Vought American company, I didn't participate in many field operations during the war. However, I wasn't one to hide, and I took part in a small number at my insistence.

"With me on our side, we will crush the Nazis."

In return, Vought required me to help influence the masses towards a pro-war and pro-Vought American outlook. For this purpose, I was given lessons in singing, acting and politics to help manipulate them to Vought's interests.

"Who knew that compound V would make me such an amazing actor and singer? I should go into Hollywood after this shit show is over."

After the war, I was held in awe by the world as the man who changed the tide. I confronted my father to get his approval finally. But once again, he saw nothing he liked; he said I wasn't a real man for cheating and I had just taken a shortcut. So I gripped him by his throat, raised him to my level and crushed the life out of his weak little human body. I watched in disappointment as his eyes begged me to stop and his legs and arms flailed around like a newborn child. However, just like he taught me, I showed him that I wouldn't be there for him when he needed me the most. I left Vought to clean up the mess, and I'm sure my father would be proud I didn't get caught this time.

"I never realised how pathetic he truly was until he begged like a little boy."

The years went by, and I helped Vought and the government with issue after issue. During this time, I lived a lavish lifestyle in Hollywood; I was involved with film, music and women. I created Herogasm with the beautiful Liberty, helped handle the fucking commies and dealt with any civil unrest.

"I doubt father was even half the man I am."

Unfortunately for Vought, the public had a short attention span and the company needed to do something novel to get them invested and spending money. So I formed and led the first superhero team, Payback.

And that's how I met her, the love of my life, the woman with whom I felt an instant connection. Her name was the Crimson Countess, and she was mine the moment I saw her.

The Crimson Countess, Gunpowder, Swatto, Mindstorm, Black Noir, the TNT Twins and I were the first group of heroes the world was made to believe they needed. We handled any problem in Vought's path and were worshipped by the people.

Just as my father made me the man I was, it became my responsibility to impart lessons to those below me. I made sure every member knew their place as just a supporting character. Sometimes I had to get violent, but they needed to be taught to appreciate what I gave them and that whining would only lead to one path. I was the reason for everything they had, and I could just as easily take it away. Without me, the highlight of their life would be a small stand at Voughtland selling handjobs for a napkin.

"Pathetic that Noir even tried to talk back to me. Does he not realise how replaceable he is."

Life was good, and I began contemplating a future with the Countess. Sadly, idiots don't know when to fucking quit, and I was betrayed by the ones I treated like family. It happened during an easy operation to support the Nicaraguan contra-rebels against the government supported by the fucking Russian commies.

Due to Swatto dicking around, the soviets and their government allies were able to launch a surprise attack on the base. The soldiers and my useless teammates didn't know how to handle the situation, so I dealt with the issue like I always did. It was easy and going to plan, and then payback fucking stabbed me in the back. After everything I did for them, they had the nerve to bite the hand that fed them for dirty Russian money.

"Without me, there is no Payback, no Vought!!"

The idiots accidentally found a way to knock me out, and then it all became a blur of the worst experience I've ever had, and I've been to fucking war.

It was a life filled with pure agony. In the moments I was awake, all I saw were men in white coats trying to kill me in any way they could imagine, all whilst listening to a Russian song that was worse than the torture.

"Sometimes I wish they fucking succeeded in killing me, if only never to hear that shitty song again."

They drowned me, deprived me of sleep, starved me, burned me, shot me, stabbed me, exposed me to radiation, dumped me in acid, pumped me full of poison and put me through any horrors they could imagine.

"Pain, so much fucking pain."

I realised quickly that it became a game for these monsters to figure out what would hurt me. The only thing that held me together was the hope that Payback would save me when they realised they were nothing without me. Most of all, I knew the Countess loved me. Once she realised the money wasn't worth it or that the blackmail was something I could handle, she would beg for my forgiveness and rescue me. She would never have wanted this for me. There must be a reason why she betrayed me.

However, Payback never came, the Countess never came, and any chance I took to escape was stopped by them flooding the room with that fucking poison.

My only relief throughout the years was a tiny hamster called Jamie, who was given that fucking compound V alongside my blood. He somehow gained powers, and those sick fucks put him through the same torture as me. And then, without warning, it stopped; they locked me in a chamber, threw away the key and let the suffering of isolation begin.

One day when I get free from here, I will make every single member of Payback realise why I fucking chose that name. Cause if I can't protect my interests, you can be damn sure I'll pay them back.

As the memories of Benjamin Gillman settled, the fight for my identity began. Neither life would submit to the other as both were repulsed by what they saw. Unfortunately, I could feel my mind splintering as my two lives battled for dominance. The longer the fight, the closer both personas approached the abyss.

All hope was lost until a golden light shined in the ruined mindscape, fixing the damage and reinforcing the durability. The light then turned its attention to the mental personifications of my two lives and forcefully fused them to become one, systematically removing what it deemed flawed.

With a balance reached, I was no longer Ambroise Lefort or Benjamin Gillman; I became something better than either of my lives ever could have achieved.

Gone was the weak man crying about how life was supposed to go, and gone was the cold, manipulative racist who saw no fault in his actions.

I am something new, something more. I am Soldier Boy, and that name will summon both fear and hope.

My eyes snapped open with a cold look, and I shakily stood up from the floor.

"That was a very stupid move."

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Authors note

I hope this chapter wasn't too hard to digest with the large info dump. If it was, don't worry; this will be the last chapter that goes into any of the characters memories to this depth. Aside from that, I do need some help, I am currently debating on how to treat the members of Payback. On the one hand, this man has endured years of torture due to their betrayal and they aren't nice people, so I don't feel too bad about killing them off. On the other hand, he tortured them for years.

What do you guys think my version of Soldier Boy should do? Let me know in the comments, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter.