บท 324: 324. Pain was the Ground ~Bane Was the Night~
The race begins shortly after the evening of April 5, 2051, according to Earth-Grimm's Calendar. The racers will travel USING-THEIR-VEHICLES from Steel Ball County, Texas to Metropolis, New York. There are six checkpoints, Steel Ball County in Texas, Central City in Missouri, Star City in Philadelphia, New York City in New York, Gotham City in New York, and Metropolis in New York. The Racers will be each given a powerful motorcycle to ride across America that will need to take a stop in each of the checkpoints and must stay in each checkpoint for one day. You are allowed to bring equipment for navigation and supplies for food, but portal equipment is not allowed in the competition. Weapons are also allowed in case of a considerable threat, but make sure that you are legally allowed to have weapons.
The racers will repeat the race five times throughout the five Earths. The race will begin in Steel Ball Country, Texas, the United States of America, Earth-Grimm and will end in New York City, New York, the United States of America, Earth-TAWOG-5311.
Seven motorcycles rush into the deserts of the state of Kansas. It's quite barren and has strangely-shaped rocks looking like humans.
*vrooooooooooom!!!*
Meanwhile...
A man in his Endezeichen armor treads his scythe on the ground.
This man is Kenneth. He entered a warehouse (yes... yet another warehouse...) and meets with a person staring at the window (yes... yet another badass character met staring at the window...) who speaks in a thick German accent.
"Ah... Kenneth Bowes-Lynn... Vhat a pleasant surprise to see you vance more."
A camera stares at Kenneth from the back of this man's shoulder.
"Hello, Rudolf," said Kenneth, in his deep voice.
"I hear zhat you successfully murdered a Stardust Crusader..."
"Well..." said Kenneth. "It was a situational death, Fuhrer."
"Kenneth... How vonderful to think zhat you always find yourself vorthy to even dare approach people like me..."
"I have every right to be here, Rudolf-..."
"HOW DARE YOU THINK ZHAT YOU CAN JUST BARGE IN HERE ZHURING MY REST DAY!?"
Rudolf reveals... her face...
"Consigliere Rudolf Von Stroheim... Can you for once not bitch about your leisure activities to a fellow member of your team?"
"Very vhell... Mighty Prince Kenneth... He has fallen... and now he wants to make sense of his vorld... But he knew... that the only way to make sense of this damned vorld... is to force it to do so... You're an eager one... A stubborn one... And you dare try to insult me by entering my office... vithout my permission..."
Kenneth tries to choke Von Stroheim with gravity, but she responds by creating a Stand-Destabilizer around his neck and turning it on.
Kenneth drops to the ground on his knees, weakened.
Stroheim takes off Kenneth's helmet.
"Remember whose hand is around whose neck," said Stroheim. "Vhell? Vhy have you come!?"
"I need your help..."
"Vhy?"
"We have reason to believe that some of the racers are trying to collect the DISCs."
"Ha!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! No van knows about the DISCs, Kenneth!"
"Well, Kariel JoJo does," said Kenneth. "And he's not going to stop until he-!"
*CLANG!!!*
Kenneth's Stand-Destabilizer tightens but Kenneth wraps his scythe around Von Stroheim's neck.
She sighs. "Kariel JoJo? How zhe hell is he still alive!?"
"Well... He's a cowboy," said Kenneth. "Did you seriously not know about him? He's popular in the United States Cowboy Association... Infamous as Miguel JoJo's brother..."
Von Stroheim twitches her fingers and drops Kenneth to the ground.
"I see," said Von Stroheim. "I have been living under a fucking rock! Vhat has happened these past ten years!?"
"Well..." Kenneth slowly stood up. "You're currently 41-years-old."
"VHAT!? NEIN!!!" yelled Von Stroheim. "I'M THIRTY-VAN!!! THIRTY-VAN!!! WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT ZHAT!? I'LL KILL YOUR FAMILY IF YOU DON'T TELL ME!!!"
"I have no family."
"ZHEN I'LL KILL YOU!!!"
"It's in your records, you crazy bitch!"
Von Stroheim drops Kenneth. "Yes... Indeed..."
Von Stroheim morphs a repulsor cannon and blasts a guard's head off who was entering the room.
"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! HAHAHA!!! I KILLED AN INTRUDER WITH STARK'S REPULSOR CANNON!!! GERMAN SCIENCE IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD!!! YA!? REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
"That was one of our own, Fuhrer," said Kenneth.
"Ah... Zhen German Science is only moderately best..."
"I don't think your technology is linked to your stupidity."
Stroheim points her plasma blaster at Kenneth's crotch.
"I don't think your penis will be linked to your crotch in zhe next thirty seconds until you take zhat back."
"I take it... back..." said Kenneth. "Please... help me."
"Vhy do you need my help?" asked Stroheim.
"I don't... want... her.... the Boss... to know... that I have... kind of... well... failed to kill off... The Girl."
"Zhe veapon? You failed to kill her ten FUCKING years ago!?"
"Yes..." said Kenneth. "Yes, I did..."
"Aha! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! VERY VHELL!!! VERY FUCKING VHELL!!!I have somebody that will blow everybody's fucking minds! KYAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Meanwhile... in the evening...
"Gah!" yelled Jill. "I've been bit by this cactus!"
"By what!?" asked Jack, in her head.
"A cactus! Oh no! I'm poisoned, Jack! I'm gon' die!" sobbed Jill.
"It's okay," said Jack. "I know how to heal the poison. Shake our hips and make small circles with 'em in the air."
"Okay!"
"Are you doin' it?"
"Yeah! I think it's working!"
"Okay, good. Because now you also look like an idiot. Cacti aren' venomous (not poisonous) neither do they bite."
"Oh... Thanks, Jack," Jill said, turning red out of embarrassment. "So I can eat the cactus?"
Jill's left hand slowly woges into Jack's hand and he slaps her at the back of her head.
"No!" yelled Jack.
"See? Communication is key," said Yurielle.
"Shut up, Yuri," said Jack.
"Yeah, shut up, Yuri!" laughed Jill.
Yuri tosses the knife upward as the knife curves next to Jill's foot.
"Come again?" asked Jill.
"Gladly," said Yuri.
*THWIP!!!*
*wooo~oooo!!!*
The knife curves to a spot inches closer to Jill's foot.
"Well... A-Anyway..." Jill looks at the distance. "Yeah..." She takes out a clock. "It says here that it's almost night... The Sun Dial on my clock is nearin' the dark half of the circle, so it's near night..."
Foo Fighters shakes her butt in the air as she desperately drinks water from the riverbank near the camp.
"Christ, F.F.," said Yurielle. "Would you please not sell your body to us like that?"
"Huh? Oh, this body? It isn't mine!" smiled Foo Fighters. "It's a dead body I found in the mountains! This is my one and only true form!"
The group is slightly disgusted by this.
Sam looks at the horizon and sees Jill's compass pointing to the next location. "We have to keep going northeast. Keep moving in that direction, and we'd be in Central City in no time."
"So... Jill's Stand covers navigation, huh?" asked Sam.
"Yep," said Jill.
"So... you want to kill the person who you think caused your friend's death," said Kariel.
"Yeah," said Sam.
Kariel shakes his head. "What happened to you, Wilson? You were a hero, right? Weren't you America's precious little boy?"
"I still am... I've killed people before, Kariel."
"You just want to settle this one violently, am I correct?"
"Yes," said Sam.
"It isn't a good idea, knowing that the culprit could be the President of the United Superstates of the United States of America," said Kariel.
"Why'd they have to combine the damn countries into a single Superstate is beyond me," said Johnny.
"Hey, hey!" smiled Foo Fighters. "I found some jackrabbits for us to eat!"
"We have supplies, right?" asked Kariel.
"Yep," said Dark, sharpening his katana.
"F.F. we don't need to eat those," said Kariel.
"Okie!" cheered Foo Fighters, as her head transforms into her Stand form and eats the jackrabbits raw and alive.
Both jackrabbits whimper and their bones cracked softly. A popping noise could be heard each time she chewed.
"Jesus Christ," said Dark.
Yurielle sharpens her dagger. "Yeah... no... that was disgustin', F.F."
"The rocks kinda freak me out. Can we not face 'em when we're asleep?"
"What if someone's hidin' behind 'em?" asked Yurielle.
"Can't you hear people a mile away?"
"Oh, right," said Yurielle.
Later... The group slept in tents on the desert sands... The tents were all lined up facing away from the rocks.
*crunch... crunch... crunch...*
"*GASP!!!*" Yurielle wakes up, hearing crunching footsteps in the sand.
Yurielle sniffs the air and smells someone's stench nearby. She hisses.
Yurielle silently and stealthily crawled out of her tent and look around the rocks behind them.
She tosses her knife.
"Go, All the Way!" she whispered.
Yurielle tosses her knife.
*wooooo~oooooo~oooooo!!!*
*THWIP!!!*
"Ow!" said someone, softly.
Yurielle shakes Jill. "Jill! Jill!" she whispered.
"Yo!" yelled Jill.
"Shush!" whispered Yurielle. "Be fuckin' quiet, someone really fuckin' big sounds like he wants to friggin' murder us!"
"Why would anyone wanna murder us!?" asked Jill, whispering. She gasps. "Is it Jeff Goldblum!?"
"What!? Why would Jeff Goldblum wanna kill us!?"
"Because I kinda went up to 'im two years ago and now I have a restrainin' order! I shouldn' be within 50 meters close to 'im!"
"Why would Jeff Goldblum make a restrainin' order and approach you!?"
"Because Jeff Goldblum wants vengeance, Yuri! He's comin' to get you, too!"
"What did you do to him, even!?"
"I when' up to 'im an' acciden'ally kicked him in the balls!"
"How'd you kick 'im in the balls?"
"I was marchin'."
"Okay... Fine... But trust me, it isn't Jeff Goldblum, okay!? If it is, I would've sensed it was 'im. Trust me on this, Jill!"
"A-Alright..."
Yurielle and Jill slowly crawl out of the tent.
Meanwhile, Jeff Goldblum and his Agent peer out of the rocks in front of the tents.
"I told you they were on to us!" yelled Jeff's agent, who peers out from the boulders.
Yuri and Jill went up the hill to fetch the strange intruder.
Yuri threw her knife inbound the right leg of the stranger.
*SPLAT!!!*
*Thud... Thud... Thud...*
"That was a mistake..." said a familiar voice. "It truly was a mistake for you to even dare try to injure me that way... with a pathetic knife of all weapons."
Bane appears before them.
Yuri slowly turns on her Bluetooth earphone in her ear.
"Guys? Bane's here..." said Yurielle.
Meanwhile...
"What?" asked Peter. "The guy with asthma!?"
"Wake up the other," said Bruce. "Kariel could knock him out."
"Uh... we're kind of three miles away from 'em," said Yurielle.
"Who's with you?"
"Jack... an' Jill."
"Run..."
*THWIP!!!*
Yurielle tosses a knife into Bane's face, which bounces off. Yurielle and Jill then run away.
"Who is that guy!?" asked Jack in Jill's head.
"Hol' on," said Jill. "'Ey, Yuri? Who is that guy?"
"Bane," said Yurielle. "Criminal psychopath Uncle Bruce tol' me 'bout. Broke his back once and threw Uncle Bruce in a deep pit which he climbed up from with his bare hands while his back was all broken."
Yurielle yells, "No. 5! Call the others! I'm gon' shoot between this man's eyes!"
"Sure thing!" yelled No. 5. "Everyone! Wake up! No. 1! No. 2! No. 3! No. 6! No. 7!"
Everyone emerges as Yurielle shoots with her gun.
*BANG!!! BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!!!*
The bullet was redirected five times and toward Bane's face.
The bullet bounces off Bane's head.
"What!?" asked the six bullet Stands.
"Yurielle! We couldn' kill 'im!" yelled No. 1.
"Shit," said Yurielle.
Jill takes out a block of TNT and tosses it before Bane. She then immediately swipes her Flint and Steel on it.
*THWIP!!!*
*ssssssssssssssssssssss...*
*boom!!!*
A very loud and powerful and large explosion occurred, creating a large mushroom cloud that engulfed the horizon in a kilometer radius.
The Rangers wake up.
"What was that!?" asked Dark.
Bane tumbles backward and into the rock, knocking him out.
They continue running, but Bane immediately wakes up and charges at the pair.
"Shoot his mask off!" whispered Yurielle to No. 1.
*BANG BANG BANG BANG!!!*
"Shit!" whispered Yurielle.
The bullet bounces off the mask.
"Nice try, but my new mask is molded with Vibranium alloy tri-weaved in Adamantium!"
*BANG BANG!!!*
The bullets bounce off of Bane.
"HAHAHAHAHA!!!" cackled Bane.
"DAD!!!" yelled Yurielle.
But they're too far away to be heard.
"DADDY!!!" yelled Yurielle.
Jill takes out her crossbow and shoots an arrow into Bane's chest, but he snaps it off and charges.
*THUD!!! THUD!!! THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD-!!!*
Yurielle sighs and charges toward Bane.
Jill stops. "YURI!!! (YURI!!!)"
*BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!!!*
Six bullets are shot toward Bane, three toward the head and three toward the heart, but they bounce off of bane's chest and head.
Yurielle reloads and shoots at him again, but Bane grabs her and treads her on the sand. She tumbles and slides as she kicks him on the face. She shoots at him again, but this time, four times into his eye. They bounce off, and he picks her up then throws her into the sand. He stomps at her thrice, marching forward, but she dodges by rolling. He manages to stomp her foot. He then tries to hammer his fists at her body...
*click click click click click...*
Jill's left hand woged into Jack's hand once more and he had taken out his fishing rod and pulls Yurielle away as Bane topples backward.
"C'mon!" yelled Jill.
The pair kept on running away as Bane charged toward them.
Jill creates 100 TNT blocks and drops them all as she surrounds them around Bane. Bane is trapped in TNT and flicks it.
*BOOM!!!*
A loud explosion from the TNT was heard. The energy from the blast was so powerful that it caused the entire nation to have windows cracked or shattered from the earthquake that appeared after, but the explosion was contained within the square wall of TNT, only exploding upward. The explosion was heard all the way from Denver, Colorado.
Bane toppled several kilometers away.
He wakes up, having tanked it, and ran toward them.
*thud...*
"Hey..." said a voice, while someone patted Bane on the shoulder. "I heard you tried to kill my daughter just now..."
Bane turns around and punches Kariel square on in the face, but the bones in his knuckles crack as he yelps and backs away. "Raugh!"
"Get the hell out of here or I'll ORA ORA you to death," said Kariel.
"Right..."
A portal opens behind him and he backflips backward.
Kariel sighs. "Ah... geez..."
Meanwhile...
"That was a terrible fight!" yelled Kenneth. "Honestly! Bane didn't even have a chance to kill them off-!!!"
"Silence, Kenneth," said Stroheim. "I vhas merely testing on vhat zhese people could do... I vhas only trying to see if zhey are capable of doing something such as creating an explosion three times as powerful as the Beirut Explosion... Or being capable of scratching Bane of all people... Indeed... The Girl and that Maroon fellow truly are a dangerous trio... Bane vhas merely van of the independent variables I have in my sleeve..."
Stroheim slowly puts her finger and slides it on Kenneth's neck. "Don't you think it's a good idea to test zhe targets fist before foolishly trying to attack zhem like an idiot, Kenneth Bowes-Lynn? An idiot like you?"
Stroheim leans toward Kenneth and she nibbles on his ear, but Kenneth kicks her away and he hisses.
Stroheim sneers. "Ah... Very vhell... I'll call zhe next Independent Variable! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
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