บท 281: 281. Blutbad Beach~Beach Episode!!!~
Gabrielle, wearing a black two-piece bikini, stood with Mercuria, Raphael, Iggy, and Narcos. Raphael wears a tank top and shorts. Mercuria wears a light blue two-piece bikini. Narcos wears nothing but black shorts.
"What's that?" smiled Narcos, pointing to a shell.
"That's a shell," smiled Mercuria. "If you hold it up to your ear, you can hear the ocean."
Narcos does so. "That's just the air bouncing around in the curved inner surfaces of the shell and amplifying the sounds into my ear."
Mercuria rolls her eyes as Narcos plays with the sand on the ground.
Gabrielle smiles softly.
Suddenly...
*step! step! step! step!*
"Oh, my!"
Manly laughing could be heard in the distance.
An average-looking dude appears before Gabrielle and the gang. He wears glasses, has a beard, an afro, oily and sweaty skin, and an ahegao jacket.
Raphael hisses at him.
"Hello, there!" smiled the man, who sounds like an annoying smug Grandpa. "It is I, Bartholomew Pritchett!
"Who!?" asked Mercuria.
"He's an exchange student from the United States... Well... Technically that shouldn't be a thing because he's my only classmate that Rick basically kidnapped. He's my childhood friend."
"Oh, yes! Gabrielle my love! I have come to you after five long years without my juicy tenderness."
"Oh dear God..." Gabrielle facepalms in disgust.
Narcos squints his eyes. "Who the hell are you supposed to be?"
"Uh... Gabrielle? Who is this pink-haired sexually intimidating wackadoodle?" said Bartholomew.
"This is Narcos Anastasia!" smiled Gabrielle.
"He looks pretty ugly. Looks like he may have herpes. Trust me, Gabrielle. You have to stay away from him."
"Yeah... He is kinda ugly," said Mercuria.
"Merci!" yelled Gabrielle.
"What!?" Mercuria shrugged.
"Well, buster!" Barry points at one of Narcos' pecs. "I'll have you know that my precious Gabrielle would rather be with me than an overgrown stoner."
"I may be a stoner, but I'm also great at physically pleasing all my friends!"
"Narcos. Stoner means drug addict and you're being suggestive," sighed Gabrielle.
"Hey! How is massaging with rock hands suggestive!? You know what!? I'll give a great massage to everyone on this beach!Hey you! Put your hands behind your head and on your knees!"
"Oh, shit!" yelled the kid, as he runs away.
"Come back here! I have some candy in my pocket! There's more in my cool van I drove to come here with my friends!" Narcos yelled, chasing him.
"Come back here, you scrotum-less miscreant!" Barry chases after him.
(I watched Boku No Hero only up to season 2. I KNOW!!! STOP SHAMING ME!!! Again... Good song.)
"Sorry, Captain Raph," smiled the cop, uncuffing Narcos. "I didn't know that he's a friend of yours. He kept yelling about a cool van he's taking kids in to massage them. I thought that he was too open about it that it's probably a misunderstanding. But the nerd with the anime jacket kept on forcing me to arrest him, saying that he's a local beach pedophile."
"I take it back! He's a sex offender!" yelled Barry.
"How so?" asked the cop.
"He sexually intimidated me by being better-looking than I am!"
"Alright, that's it. Put your hands behind your-."
Raphael grabs his shoulder.
"I'll take it from here, Carlos," nodded Raphael, still speaking in sign language.
"Sure thing, boss," nodded Carlos as he walks away.
"Stay away from Gabrielle you creep," said Raphael.
"He's the creep! He's thousands of years old!" yelled Raphael.
"My body is hundreds in age... But I'm practically a newborn suckling on mother's breasts," smiled Narcos.
"Jesus Christ," sighed Gabrielle. "He means mother nature. His name is Narcos Anastasia."
"I see... Very well, Narcos Anastasia! I challenge you to a duel!" sneered Barry.
"Okay," smiled Narcos.
"This will be a public Stand-Off between enemies! And it is truly amazing that we get to fight here in public on this rocky beach!"
"Why is that?"
"Oh! You'll see, Anastasia! You will see!"
"I'm done with this," Gabrielle walks away.
Gabrielle walks to an ice cream cart and buys a cup of Ube Sorbetes. On her way back, she bumps into someone as they both drop to the ground.
"Ah!"
Gabrielle slowly picks herself up as she helps the other guy up, who wears a brown trench coat. "Sorry! I'll help you-!"
As the man looks at her, he is revealed to be...
(theme begins)
"Rat King!?" she asked, looking annoyed.
"HHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHYAHYAHAHAHAHA!!!" cackled the Rat King. "Gabrielle JoJo! A pleasure to meet you this fine morning!"
Rat King Fortnite dances like a deranged cow. He then does a Russian Squat Dance.
Rat King then does a ballerina dance as he bows.
Rat King stands up and opens his trench coat in front of her.
"AH!!!" she yelled, looking away.
Rat King is revealed to thankfully be wearing clothes underneath. The pockets of the trench coat have animal masks hanging from them.
"I'm selling creature-makers!" he cackled.
"You mean... animal masks?" asked Gabrielle.
"Animal masks!? Animal masks..." He brushes his makeshift beard for a second. "Sure! Animal masks! Hahahaha! Yeah! Sure thing, kid! Sure thing! Just wear one and you'll feel-!Absolutely livid..."
Gabrielle sighs. "How do I know this isn't some trick again?"
"I'm the one who helped you out with the Improbable Man last time!"
"You were there literally for no reason at all," said Gabrielle.
"Or did I make the impossible happen and let you win!? HAHAHAHA!!!" cackled Rat King.
Gabrielle rolls her eyes.
"How much for that stupid gray wolf mask?"
"WHAT DYA-!? This isn't just any stupid gray-colored wolf mask! It's a precious artifact created by god-like creatures who can shoot friggin' laser beams in their eyes! Flying around in cosmic wonder... and other stuff!"
"Okay! Okay! Fine! How much!?" asked Gabrielle.
"A hundred units," sneered Rat King.
"A HUNDRED UNITS!? WHAT!?"
"Ten?"
"Oh! Well then... That's-!"
"Two?"
"I was gonna say-?"
"Two cents? AH DAGNABBIT FINE!!! Take the whole thing for free!" cackled Rat King. "Take everything!"
Rat King laughs.
"Well-!"
"Fine! Just have the one wolf thing and we're good to go! Deal!?" He offers a handshake.
Gabrielle squints her eyes. "I don't trust this..."
"Duh duh, duh deal!?" Rat King pushes his hand further, awaiting a handshake.
Gabrielle sighs. "Deal!"
Gabrielle shakes his hand as glowing green smoke emerges from his body.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
Rat King then twirls around and cackles happily. "OOGA OOGA OOGIE DOOGIE BOOGIE-WOOGIE!!! HYAHAHAHAHYAHYAHYAHYAHYAHYA!!!"
Rat King dances beautifully as he leaps upward then begins spinning as he covers his entire body with his trench coat.
Then, the trench coat flops on the ground without him wearing it. He disappeared into thin air. The wolf mask stayed on the ground.
(theme ends)
Gabrielle grabs the wolf mask. It resembles a human being with sharp teeth and a pointed nose. It also has pointed ears and fangs. Its beard goes all the way up to the sides of its head.
"What the hell is this thing made of!? Stone!?" asked Gabrielle, lifting the heavy mask. "I think I've read something about a stone mask before... Probably no relation but..."
Gabrielle slowly puts the mask on her face... AND-!!!
...
Nothing.
"Huh..." sighed Gabrielle. "Better wear it as a gag or something."
Gabrielle walked back to the group later that day...
Later...
Raphael sighs. "What the hell do you think is going to happen next?"
"I honestly don't care," Iggy replied, telepathically. "They said 'Stand-Off.' I was expecting something that didn't mean an actual stand-off."
Narcos and Barry are currently in a staring contest.
"You fool!" snickered Barry. "You just don't know the power of my fabulous eyesight! I eat carrots for a living! I watched a documentary that proves that works!"
"Wait, really!? That's so cool!" smiled Narcos.
Narcos claps his hands for some reason without blinking.
"Dang mosquito," said Narcos.
Barry ends up blinking. "Damn you, you sniveling vermin! You have foiled me once more! Nonetheless, I will destroy you in the end you rockheaded fool!"
Barry woges into an Aglebemu, a frog Cryptid.
"Hyoohyoohyoo!" laughed Barry. "THUS, COMES MY STAND, HOT DOG!!!"
A giant toad-like Stand with wheels for feet and a metallic body.
*CROAK!!! RIBBIT!!!*
It uses its long tongue to grab some rocks into its maw as it chews the rocks. It then spits out lava toward Narcos.
Iggy barks in excitement, wagging her tail and going in circles.
Raphael pants and hoots, freaking out as he grabs Iggy and backs away.
Narcos dodged the rocks and freezes the lava.
"Are you insane!?" asked Narcos.
"Yes!" cackled Barry.
"Yeah!? Well, you just ate my rock castle!"
Hot Dog spits another lava ball and curves its trajectory toward Narcos, who creates a wall of ice that freezes most of the lava. However, the ice evaporates in the lava.
Gabrielle sighs and passes by the two boys who battle it out in the background.
"Hey, Merci!" smiled Gabrielle. "Look at this thing!"
"Did you seriously get scammed again!?" Mercuria facepalms at Gabrielle's misfortune. "Is there an alleyway I don't know about around here?"
"No... I got this for free!" smiled Gabrielle.
"Really, now?" asked Mercuria, as she jokingly wears it. "From who?"
Narcos dodges from the lava spat at him as it goes toward the side of Mercuria's head.
Narcos' eyes widen as he freezes the lava and it turns into a pebble.
"MERCI!!!" yelled Narcos. "LOOK OUT!!!"
Mercuria turns to Narcos. "Huh?"
*clonk!*
*splat!*
The pebble strikes the stone mask's face as what looks like ribcages dig into the temples of her face.
Mercuria cries in horror.
"NARCOS!!!" Gabrielle yelled, angrily.
*GROWL!!!*
"Huh?" asked Gabrielle, as she turns to Mercuria, who moves erratically. The stone mask detaches itself from her face as Mercuria's face is revealed.
A Blutbad. A female Blutbad. Thus, she has no beard, rather, her hair had gone spikier and her eyebrows became thicker. Her hair became gray. She gains red glowing irises and her pupils dilated. Her eyeballs become pure black. Her mouth becomes constrained and horrid as sharp canine fangs appear from her mouth. She has no snout and is more human-like.
Everyone around them runs away.
She growls for a moment.
"What the shit!?" asked Iggy.
"Holy-..." Raphael signed language.
Narcos's jaw drops.
"Uh..." said Barry, as he woges into an Aglebemu for a quick second and back to normal. "Uh... Bye!" Barry runs away.
Raphael pant-hoots in fear.
Gabrielle woges into an Aswang Black-Eyes and ticks her wings in fear.
*tik tik tik tik tik tik tik...*
She then woges back.
Gabrielle struggles to control her instinct to attack. "Shit... Mercuria... listen to me... Calm down... Between fight or flight, my body has a fight response to this..."
Mercuria growls terrifyingly.
Narcos woges into a Rock Human and growls as well.
"Mercuria... It's okay! You're a Cryptid now!"
"Oh ho ho! She can't understand you!" sneered Rat King, who is behind her, laying in the sand.
Gabrielle turns to him and angrily clenches her fists. "Rat King, what the hell did you sell me!?"
"A Stone Mask. A Cryptid Stone Mask to be exact. Created by the Fortisites and the ancient Pillar Men, which they used to create Vampires and Cryptids," sneered Rat King. "Somebody didn't do her homework!" He sang in the tune of the Ring Around the Rosie, or the Mocking Sing-Song.
"How do I help her!?"
"Get past the night with her being a Blutbad... and she'll return to normal," smiled Rat King.
"That can't be true! No point in history ever had-!"
"Remember your timeline's dark ages?" sneered Rat King.
The sun begins to set as a bright moon stays in the sky above them, closer to Earth than usual.
"Careful... Lycans are stronger at night..." laughed Rat King.
"How the heck do I-!?"
Narcos drops an ice block on Mercuria's head as she drops to the ground, knocked out.
Later...
*GROWL!!*
"GRRRR!!! RRRRRR!!!" Mercuria, who is in a cell in a bunker on the beach, growls at the group, who are outside the cell.
"I'm just glad that they gave us permission for the Cryptid Bunker on the beach," sighed Gabrielle.
"Nothing," said Iggy, in their heads. "I can't see any form of thought in her head..."
"Thanks, Iggy," said Gabrielle.
*bark!!! bark!!!*
Iggy barks at Mercuria.
"*BARK!!!*" Mercuria bark-roared.
Iggy lowers her ears and whimpers as she ran behind Raphael out of fear.
Raphael is also freaking out, panting and hooting out of pure instinct.
"Raph, calm down," said Gabrielle.
"HOO!!! HOO!!! HA!!! HA!!! HA!!! RAH!!! RAH!!!" Raphael hooted out of fear and climbed on a chair.
"My ancestor wrote a poem at the age of 8. I wasn't expecting to accidentally turn my friend into a wolf lady," sighed Gabrielle.
"Actually, Crisostomo didn't write that. Probably someone in the American period wrote the poem," smiled Narcos.
Gabrielle gives Narcos an annoyed look.
Note: This is a Sa Aking Mga Kabata reference with the fact that Jose Rizal, the national hero of the Philippines, mayhaps didn't write the poem at the age of 8 as there was no evidence of him doing so.
"What?" asked Narcos.
"Stop ruining life for me," said Gabrielle.
"Sorry," Narcos bowed his head.
"*BARK!!! BARK!!!*" Mercuria barks at them. She grabs the bars and shakes them. Her hair waves upward as she roars at the group. She snarls and walks left and right.
"I heard Blutbaden were slaves of Vampires once before," said Gabrielle.
"How so?" asked Narcos.
"I heard it from my Dad... He said that the Vampires used Zombies and Vampires to get around while the Pillar Men used the Vampires to rule the ancient world... It's... a really weird ancient hierarchy."
"Why are they weird?"
"Well, for one thing, the Pillar Men are an ancient race of Alpha Rock Humans who ruled the prehistoric world, but they turn humans into Vampires that they control (who can turn other humans into Zombies that they control). It's just weird that they require human beings to form a colony, even though, unlike Cryptids, Pillar Men aren't humans at all. They're a parasitic race that feeds on and enslave humans."
"You mean, like how your ancestor, Kars, was trying to copy?" asked Narcos.
"Oh, yeah! That was a thing... Wait... is it possible that the Aswangs got the idea from Rock Organisms in the first place?"
Narcos crosses his arms and looks away. "Sure."
"What!? Oh, come on!" Gabrielle loosens her arms and slouches. She stands up and puts her hips outward. "You can't possibly be mad at me for commenting on how you guys are parasites! I mean, it's weird enough that you guys have opposite sexes just like humans do! I know you have a penis!"
"YOU CHECKED!?"
"No... When you hugged me, I'm sure it was your penis doing the checking!"
Raphael taps both their shoulders.
"WHAT!?" asked the pair.
"Mercuria's gone," Raphael said in sign language.
They look at the cage and see that it's empty, with a hole dug from inside.
"The Philippines has terrible security, huh?" asked Narcos.
"Yes (Yes)," said Gabrielle, Raphael, and Iggy.
A wolf's howl could be heard outside.
"Well! Now, what?" Narcos smiled.
Gabrielle opens the bunker and runs outside. Raphael and Iggy follow after her.
"Oh, right! Save innocent people from her," Narcos follows after Gabrielle and the others.
Gabrielle and Raphael take out their Stands. Raphael tosses seeds on the ground which turn into Tree Golems while Gabrielle takes out Stone Free.
They see Mercuria about to bite a screaming woman on the ground.
"ORA!!!"
Kiss protects Mercuria as Mercuria lets go of the woman, who runs away. Mercuria paces backward and growls.
Raphael pants and hoots as he hisses at Mercuria.
Raphael does sign language. "Mercuria... Calm down, and we wouldn't have to attack you."
Mercuria roars at her as Raphael cries as the tree golems grab and hold down Mercuria's Stand. Mercuria is then placed in the golems' grips.
*BARK!!! BARK!!!*
*woooooooooooooooooooooo!!! Woop! Woop!*
*GROWL!!!*
Raphael screams and beats his chest to assert dominance but Mercuria merely snarls at him.
Iggy barks at Mercuria.
Gabrielle woges into an Aswang and roars at Mercuria as her wings ticked violently.
*tik tik tik tik tik tik tik!*
*SSSSSS!!!*
*SNARL!!!*
Gabrielle growls at Mercuria, but hums of some sort and softly purrs, calming Mercuria down.
Suddenly, Mercuria growls at Narcos, who is behind her.
Narcos says, "Oh!" He evaporates the ice blade in his hand as Mercuria calms down.
She stares at Mercuria as Mercuria calms down and lowers her head.
"She's hungry," said Gabrielle in her Aswang form, with a deeper voice. "Find some raw meat. Any meat..."
"Alright... I'll go to the nearest market," said Narcos, as he walks away.
Gabrielle sighs in relief as she gets Mercuria to calm down.
Suddenly... Mercuria's Stand, Kiss, ends up duplicating the legs of one of the golems as it loses balance and drops to the ground.
She breaks free and howls as Kiss blasts its fists toward Raphael. Raphael hoots as he climbs the Tree Golem out of cautiousness.
Gabrielle then uses Stone Free to punch Mercuria in the face, but Kiss blocks the attack as Stone Free and Kiss exchange punches.
"ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA-!!!"
"OSHYAAAAAAAA-!!!"
"AH!!! AH!!! AH!!!" Raphael screams and leaps down on Mercuria as he holds the wolf girl down. "OGH!!! OGH!!! OGH!!!"
*CLONK!!!*
Raphael knocks Mercuria out as Raphael sighs in relief. He then speaks to Gabrielle in sign language, "Jesus..."
Gabrielle sighs in relief. "I wonder... I wonder if the stone masks have anything to do with how Rock Humans were created... Hay Naku..."
สถานะพลังงานรายสัปดาห์
-- การจัดอันดับด้วยพลัง 
-- หินพลัง