บท 227: 227. New Group
Miguel sighs. He stands behind a podium. "Look, President Doughnut Trumpet..." said Miguel. "I'm not that bright... But I do know that uniting our nations together would benefit the oppressed! It's only best for your nation to be part of ours! My nation for example had been suffering under the hands of colonists way back in the past."
"Is that not what you're also trying to do, President JoJo?" asked Doughnut. "Are you not trying to invade our nation as well just as our ancestors did yours?"
Behind him is the American Flag in its glorious purpose.
"What!? No!"
"You're being rather hypocritical, there, Miguel JoJo."
"I am not an oppressor!"
"Yes, you are!" Doughnut slams the table. "You are a violator of this country's rights and you know it!"
"How dare you! Everything I've ever done was to remove crime and oppression in all eight worlds!"
"You're a murderer in your own right, JoJo. That's what you are. A murderer. You run around killing people you think deserve to be killed. Do you think you're a hero? You're not, Miguel JoJo. You're an absolute murderer. Let's not forget about that controversial and heated battle you had with beloved Superhero Lord Marvel."
"I've told you my statement and we both agreed that we fought over personal matters. No one was killed in our fight."
"No one is killed yet. I tell you, Miguel JoJo. And I tell you this now. You're going to kill innocent people because of what you've done in the past. And nothing's going to stop that truth."
"YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!" yelled Miguel.
The audience gasps.
"Go fuck yourself, JoJo. You're no different than the colonizers your countries call 'white pieces of shit.' You're a hypocrite. That's all I can say."
"I SAVED THE WORLD!!! I BROUGHT BACK OUR WORLD!!!"
"Either you die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain. That's all I could say."
Miguel slams the podium.
The two start screaming at each other.
Kariel struggles to open a pringle jar.
"So... basically..." said Miguel to Dark. "We've got an assassin who won't talk at all."
Kariel pinches Miguel's sleeve as Miguel turns to him. "Right," said Miguel. He grabs the pringle jar as he pulls the cover out.
*pop*
It pops open.
Kariel blushes and hugs Miguel's arm. Miguel sighs and pats Kariel's head.
"He's your brother?" asked Dark.
"Yes. A 31-year-old who still wants to get spoiled by his older brother," Miguel sighed, squinting his eyes.
"Hey!" yelled Kariel. "I'm not spoiled!"
"Right..." sighed Miguel. "...and Mom didn't make your food until you were ten."
"I couldn't cook!"
"The food was take-out."
"Alright! Alright! Both of you calm down!" sighed Dark. "We should all know that you two are brothers and you should both love each other. Or be lovers. I don't know... Not judging. Just do realize that I am a man of great tastes."
"You're a mercenary who doesn't value human life. You let children die."
"Correction. I let a couple of 21-year-olds die."
"You said in the video that they were all 16."
"And that's why I hate math! Because it's pretty damned inconsistent!"
Miguel sighs.
"If you hate me so much! Why call me!"
"Because you're the only Stand-User in America who doesn't see Doughnut Trumpet as his true ruler. For some reason, every American citizen except you two is hypnotized by some sort of spell that stops them from seeing Trumpet's crimes."
"Oh, no!" yelled Dark. "I'm not a real American-!" Dark whispers. "Not a real American citizen."
"Wait, I'm sorry?" asked Miguel.
"I'm an immigrant," whispered Dark. "We both are."
"That's not possible," said Miguel. "It says in all of your records-..."
"I've got people!" smiled Dark as he stretches. Dark then eats some chicken drumsticks. "Oh. You want some? I ripped out the skin to eat later."
"You're a pig."
"And you're a chicken because you won't eat any." Dark gorges his face into the chicken meat.
"I don't like that guy," said Kariel.
"Yeah? Well me neither, Kariel," sighed Miguel.
Dark walks inside the chamber to meet against Yuki.
"Halo, Yuki!" smiled Dark. "If you don't talk I'll make you gag in my-!"
"Dark! No!" yelled Miguel.
"Sheesh!" yelled Dark. "I was gonna say my katana! Since she'll drown in her blood!"
"Fucking pig," said Miguel.
"C'mon, Yamagishi... Yamshigi... Yamahisgi... Yama-..."
Yuki muffles.
"AHA!!! I MADE YOU SPEAK!!!" yelled Dark. "My brain is working! Did you see that Herc!? My brain is working!"
Hercules thumbs up.
*ding*
Hercules gasps. "My creampuffs! Hold on, guys! I'll go get the next batch!"
Hercules runs into the kitchen.
Dark then points his katana to her face.
"Feel the thundah!" yelled Dark.
"Hay Naku... Dark?" asked Miguel. "Dark?"
"Yes, m'lady?" asked Dark.
"Her mouth is still wrapped up," said Miguel.
Dark sees that she's muffling.
"Ah! I see!" yelled Dark as he tips his hat.
He then takes off the cloth on her mouth.
"You got it right the first time," said Yuki, speaking in a British accent.
"Yashamigi?"
"Yamagishi, dumbass."
"INDEED, YUKI YAMAGISHITA!!!" yelled Dark, posing and pointing at Yuki.
"I thought you were raised by Tagalog-Japanese Islanders."
"And I thought people who aren't bitches talk nicely."
"Fuck off, wanker."
"Whore."
"Twat."
"Slut."
"Bugger."
"WHERE'S MR. KRABS!?"
Miguel feels shivers down his spine. "Fuck."
"Kuya?" asked Kariel.
"READY!!!" smiled Hercules as he places the tray on the ground.
"Okay! Enough! Everyone shut the fuck up!" yelled Miguel, sighing. "Okay! Could you please tell us who you work for!?"
"No," said Yuki.
"If not, you will die!" yelled Dark.
"No! No one's killing anyone today!" yelled Miguel.
"I honestly don't give a fuck if I kill anyone," said Dark, now speaking creepily and groaning. "I don't enjoy it, either... It just feels like nothing... Like a small prick on the finger when the doctor takes some of your blood..."
Yuki doesn't feel anything and is unimpressed. She merely stared at Dark, scoffing and smirking.
"Wrry..." Dark whispered.
"I can't believe that he's technically my half-brother," sighed Miguel.
"TELL ME!!!" yelled Dark.
Miguel squints his eyes.
"Dark... I have an idea..." said Miguel. "Make her renounce her citizenship."
"What!? How!?" asked Dark. "Wait... I have an idea!Hey, are you an American?"
"Yes."
"Are you an American!?"
"Yes."
"Are you an American!?"
"Yes."
"Yes," said Dark.
"Are you an American?" asked Yuki.
"No."
"Are you an American?"
"No."
"Are you an American?"
"Are you an American?" Dark sneered.
"No, I'm British. NO!!!"
Suddenly, her eyes glowed blue for a split second. She gasps for air as she pants. She looks left to right.
"Where... Where am I?" she asked.
"AHA!!! Wait... Hey, Miguel! She can't tell us anything no more!" yelled Dark.
"She was never supposed to. She was in some sort of weird mind control. Maybe Trumpet's secret corporation has one of them being a Stand-User that only mind controls U.S. Citizens."
"Get me out of here, you sick bloody rapists!" yelled Yuki.
"What!? I'm sorry!? Who the hell are you calling sick bloody rapists!? We just saved your ass from mind control!" yelled Dark.
"Maybe his soldiers don't know either. Dark, I'm preventing you from killing any of his soldiers."
"No promises," Dark sneered.
"Well? This seems like it's going to be a convoluted origin story," sighed Miguel.
"Hey, Kuya?" asked Kariel. "What are we going to be doing now?"
"No idea," sighed Miguel. "I have no idea who he'll send next... Let's just hope we'll survive..."
Miguel bites into the creampuff. "Huh... This is really good, Herc! Keep up the good work!"
"Thanks," smiled Hercules, smiling sweetly.
"Me, too, Kuya!" smiled Kariel.
"Could I have one?" asked Dark.
"I want one, too," smiled Yuki.
Dark kindly takes off her duct tape as the group ate the cream puffs.
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