บท 10: 10. The Fateful Night
*click click click click*Arthur spends the night playing his video game: Super Mario 64.
"Damned bullies!" he shouted.
Arthur, wearing his usual clothes, which is a blue-striped red scarf around his neck, a black sleeveless undershirt, black pants, and brown shoes played his video games all night.
Suddenly, Mario falls into the kava and having one health left, dies.
"Geez," said Arthur to himself. "This game's a sham..."
Arthur then takes out his fifth vag of chips and his fifth bottle of soda.
*squeak*
Arthur hears some sort of squeaking noise from outside. He looks outside the window and looks left, then right.
"Ventura? Is that you?" he asked.
*tick tick tick tick tick*
"The blood of our kind is in you... I can smell our scent in your flesh..." he whispered with a growling voice.
"Well, buddy, my flesh smells like all races! That's how un-racist I am, fella!" smiled Arthur.
"You hoke like non-stop like the coward you are. I am surprised you are even the descendant of the legendary Crisostomo Ibarra," replied the voice.
"Who?" asked Arthur. "Christ Bartholomew? Christopher Barty? Boy, what the fuck are you talkin' about?"
"I'm talking about your destiny, JOJO!!!" shouted the voice. Suddenly, the Aswang entered into his window with his claws crinkling as he taps each of them with each other. "You filthy Grimms, hunting our kind for thousands of years, torturing us for your pleasure... treating us like animals..."
"Jesus Christ!" shouted Arthur, quickly backing away. "Sorry for using God's name in vain, but still! Christ almighty! Stay the hell away from me, Tiktik!"
"Die, GRIMM!!!" shouted the Aswang as he stretched out his fingers and aimed for Arthur's throat.
"OH NO!!!"
(Theme begins...)
Arthur immediately blocks the arm as golden energies began to radiate from his skin.
"My adoptive father told me stories about you guys when I was younger," said Arthur. "Part of me thought you were all too real to be just a fairy tale. Or... A FAIRY TALE yet isn't too real...?"
"Huh?" asked the Aswang. "What!? Tch-! You think your Hamon is strong enough to burn me to pieces?"
"I don't know what Hamon is supposed to be," said Arthur. "But I do know what I'm good at... GO, RANDOM BULLSHIT!!! AND YES!!! THAT WAS A MOON KNIGHT REFERENCE!!!"
Suddenly, the Aswang's eyes widen.
"What are you planning?"
The Aswang approached Arthur, as Arthur pointed his bottle of coke at him.
"Stay back, or I'll break your skull with a bottlecap!" said Arthur in a suave manner.
The Aswang laughed softly.
(Theme begins at 0:58...)
The bottle of coke charged with Hamon and the cap was somehow lodged into the Aswang's skull.
It roared as it was shot straight in the forehead. Blood splattered everywhere. Its skull is pretty fucking fractured.
"OOOOH GOOOOD!!!" he laughed. "I know what you're going to say next! 'JoJo! I'll kill you for such insulting behavior!' Now!"
"JoJo! I'll kill you for such insulting behavior!" shouted the Aswang. "Huh?"
Purple vines began to emerge from Arthur's body.
Arthur's coke bottle suddenly transforms into a grenade-like object.
Arthur then takes out a bag of baking powder from his pocket and pours it into the grenade, as he throws it at the Aswang.
Arthur then runs out of his room and lets the object explode.
*boom*
Arthur then finds a stapler on the coffee table and grabs it, as the stapler transforms into a gun, giving the gun Hamon and pointing it at the Aswang, who survives the bomb he made.
"Sodium Bicarbonate and Cola Extract," he whispered. "Are you some kind of child?"
"I got more where that came from!" Arthur shouted.
"What? With that stapler?" the Aswang mocked and sneered.
*BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG*
"Impossible! It was just an ordinary stapler a moment ago!" he whispered to himself.
He was then shot in the head about five times as he roared and stumbled backward. His face has exploded holes all over with blood bursting out of each hole.
"I transformed the stapler in the form of a gun and applied pressure using Hamon to each of the bullets to make it shoot like a pistol. I fused the staples into bullets as well, but they aren't that hard, so they spontaneously combust in contact because of my Hamon," explained Arthur. "Or should I say... MORE RANDOM BULLSHIT!!!"
"RRRRRAUGH!!!" he roared, as he charged at Arthur.
Arthur then shot at the Aswang several times more before running out of bullets.
*click click click*
Arthur then throws the gun into the ground and reached for a spatula. The spatula then turned into a small trident, as he stabbed the Aswang in the eye before pouncing backward.
The Aswang then healed from his injuries almost immediately.
"Huh..." said Arthur. "I have one final attack!"
"Which is?"
Arthur grabs his legs.
"I have perfectly fine legs," Arthur then points to the Aswang's legs. "Yours is all fucked up."
"S-So?"
"TAKBO NA!!!" shouted Arthur, running away. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
The Aswang roared furiously, as the two ended up in the street outside his apartment complex.
Arthur kept on running as the Aswang chased after him.
"Have you ever wondered what my leader had done to your parents?" asked the Aswang, as Arthur's eyes went serious.
"Huh?" asked Arthur, immediately turning around.
Arthur realizes that what he saw was from a few seconds later. Yes... He saw the future.
"What the hell were you just about to say?" asked Arthur.
"Ah..." said the Aswang, even though he hadn't said anything yet. "So that's how your Stand works... You can see a few seconds in the future when the information is important to you, correct?"
Arthur gritted his teeth. "What did your leader do to my parents?!" Arthur's eyes widened in horror.
"My leader ate them," he said. "But you already knew that, didn't you? Are you that impatient? In the end, you got the answer that you never wanted..."
Arthur immediately charges.
"What even is your plan, JoJo?! Your Stand is the weakest of them all!" shouted the Aswang.
JoJo then entangled the Aswang in his vines. "HAMON OVERDRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!" he shouted, and the Aswang was only slightly injured.
"You've had no training, fool!" said the Aswang, slightly burning. "What makes you think that I'd die from a simple zap of your Hamon? It's nothing more than a bite from an ant's jaw to me!!!"
"I'LL KILL YOOOOU!!!" shouted Arthur.
*SPLAT*
The Aswang's head slides off from its shoulders as its body falls flat. Hamon slowly burnt its body to pieces.
Arthur gasped out of fear.
"How the hell did you-?"
Arthur looks at the man's face. "Ricardo?!"
"Surprise, dumbass," said Ricardo, as he held his scythe. "We aren't safe here. Pack your things, we're going to lay low for a while. Take your friend, Ventura, with you."
Ricardo, wearing a top hat and a black cloak with a face mask, turns around, as Arthur follows.
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