บท 305: The Self-Abandonment of Fat Thor
Facing the video of the chubby Thor. At first, people were surprised, and then bursts of laughter erupted one after another. It has to be said that Thor has a natural talent for humour.
Mainly because the contrast before and after was too huge.
In the previous video, Thor was mighty, chopping off Thanos's head with an axe. But in this video, he had turned into a chubby guy?!
Tony Stark couldn't help but widen his mouth, followed by a wild grin, and finally burst into laughter. "Hahaha... Thor, you are so fat in the future, Look at that round belly of yours, I guess it's been at least six or seven months since you got into trouble, right?"
Nebula, who had been watching coldly, now had an astonished look on her face. She looked at the robust Thor next to her and then at the chubby pig in the video, finding it hard to believe that they were the same person.
Thor was equally surprised and couldn't stop shaking his head. "No, no, no, this chubby guy can't be me. How could this be me, I am not fat at all"
Tony Stark was still laughing uncontrollably. "Hahaha, look, your long hair is back, and you look quite dashing if you weren't so chubby."
On the B-team's side, they couldn't help but suppress their laughter. Natasha smirked and said, "It's... so unexpected. Looks like option 'A' was the right choice."
Steve Rogers chuckled and said, "That's right, even Dr. Banner's transformation was significant, but it was a positive change. But Thor... he's just too relaxed."
Scott Lang, less subtle than the others, burst into laughter. "Look at him threatening the players in the game, my goodness, what a child!"
In the video, Fat Thor introduced his friends, Miek and Korg, a bug and a rock man, respectively.
The rock man, Korg, was playing a popular game and was getting roasted by his game teammates. As a polite rock man, Korg didn't fire back but turned to Thor for help.
Chubby Thor put on his headset and delivered a stream of insults: "That's right, it's me, Thor, the God of Thunder! Listen up, if you don't log out of the game right now, I'll fly to your house, find your basement hideout, rip off your arms, and shove them up your ass!
That's right, just like that. Go cry to your daddy, you coward!"
Dr. Banner and Rocket Raccoon exchanged glances, both stunned by this scene.
Equally astonished were the spectators watching the live stream. Fat Thor's behaviour in the game exceeded their imagination.
Who would have thought that the new-age Thor, instead of wielding a hammer or an axe to fight monsters, would unleash such a barrage of insults on kids in the game?
It must be said, that games and the internet can be quite corrupting!
Look at what they've turned our once heroic and invincible Thor into!
Tony Stark was already laughing so hard that his mouth hurt. He shook his head and said, "Thor, honestly, even though you cost us -4 points, I have to thank you. Hahaha, thanks for making me so happy."
Thor's face was as dark as the bottom of a pot. He muttered, "There's nothing funny about this. Men on Earth tend to gain weight as they approach middle age, isn't that normal?"
"Oh?" Tony Stark glanced at him. "Aren't you the noble Asgardian god? Besides, I got thin after the battle with Thanos. Let's not even compare mortals to a God, shall we?"
Thor scratched his head irritably. "Damn it, I'm a laughingstock again!"
"It's okay, Thor, just lighten up a bit. You should learn to adapt."
Tony Stark half-heartedly comforted him and then continued watching the video, seeking more amusement.
In the video, Fat Thor's actions didn't amuse Dr. Banner and Rocket Raccoon because they understood why Thor had become so lethargic. They had gone through similar pain and could empathize with Thor's self-destructive behaviour.
Dr. Banner approached Thor with concern. "Thor, are you okay?"
Fat Thor shook his head. "Of course, I'm fine. What's wrong? Do I not look fine?"
Rocket Raccoon quipped, "You look like melted ice cream!"
Fat Thor smiled faintly, took a sip of his drink, and asked, "So, are you guys here to play or for something else?"
Dr. Banner spoke seriously, "Thor, we need your help. We have a chance to fix all of this."
Fat Thor, in a nonchalant manner, nodded. "You're talking about cable TV, right? That thing has been bugging me for weeks!"
Dr. Banner went straight to the point. "I'm talking about Thanos!"
This immediately darkened Fat Thor's expression. He wasn't as carefree as before. He grabbed Dr. Banner's collar and warned him, "Don't mention that name!"
Korg chimed in, "That's right, we never mention that name here."
Dr. Banner broke free from Fat Thor's grip and said softly, "I know, that guy... might be your inner fear."
Fat Thor sneered, "Why? What's there to fear about him? I killed that guy with my own hands, don't you forget. Who else could kill him? No one! Besides me, no one could kill him!"
Although he said this defiantly, it was clear to everyone that Fat Thor was putting up a front, and Dr. Banner had hit a nerve.
Dr. Banner continued to persuade, "I know you're struggling and in pain. I've been through it too. Do you know who helped me get through it?"
Fat Thor, while pouring more alcohol, casually asked, "Who? Natasha?"
"It was you! You helped me."
Fat Thor swayed his beer belly, pointed out the window, and said, "Then why don't you ask these Asgardians here what value my help had?"
He plopped himself down on the couch, looking thoroughly dejected. "Anyway, they're all gone now."
Dr. Banner said, "Maybe we can bring them back!"
"Shut up." Fat Thor finished his drink and started eating again. While eating, he said, "Do you think I'm here wallowing in self-pity, waiting for rescue or redemption? No, I am not, I'm fine, we're all fine. So, no matter what you say, I won't go, I don't care, and I can't care."
Dr. Banner could only continue to persuade, "We need you."
Fat Thor's face displayed a helpless, bitter smile. He shook his head and had another drink.
Rocket Raccoon, seeing this, said, "There's beer on the ship too."
Fat Thor hesitated for a moment and asked, "What brand?"
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