บท 13: Memories

Thea

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Time did not fly by completely unnoticed, but rather it dragged on like the slowest snail in the world. A week has passed and Mrs. Rose has gone off the rails, showing me unprecedented generosity, bestowing the hardest work that her sophisticated brain could think of. To say that in the evening I crawled to bed without strength would be an understatement. And why is she so pissed off? Could Raphael have ordered her to complicate my life? I haven't seen him since that day in the stable when he left me with his irritation. And I didn't really want to.

I stared out the window, brushing my long hair over my shoulder. The day today was overcast and drizzling fine rain, causing a slight melancholy. In such weather, I always thought of my mother, Queen Catherine. I missed her so much. There were days when we locked ourselves in a room with her, excluding all outsiders, and arranged women's gatherings. We gorged themselves on sweets and chatted about everything that came into us heads, like girlfriends. I loved to put my head on her lap and listen to her soft melodious voice while she stroked my hair. Mom always looked at me with such tenderness in her eyes, without a doubt I felt that her love for me was boundless.

When I was little, I often asked her when she and dad would give me a brother or sister, but mom only touched my questions and said that I was her most important child, and she was not ready to share her heart with other children. Now I understand that my mother was joking, and it was so bad of me to remind her of the impossibility of giving an heir to her spouse. But she has never, absolutely never, reproached me for this or scolded me.

A couple of days before her death, I visited her as usual and we had a little conversation, more precisely, it was her monologue. I was just an interested listener.

/ Thea's Memories/

- My dear, dear girl. – Mom was stroking my blonde locks again. – I'd like to tell you something. It's been so long. - She spoke very quietly, the disease was draining almost all of her strength.

- Yes, Mom, I'm listening. – the painful thorn was already beginning to dig into my heart, I understood everything, but I did not bury her ahead of time.

- You know, your father and I were so happy when we found out that we were going to have you. - she hesitated for a second.

- But the pregnancy was very difficult. Several times I was threatened with miscarriage, as if you resisted appearing in this world. Then everyone was talking about my failure as the king's wife. It was very painful, our marriage was bursting at the seams, your father was moving away from me every day. As if spellbound, he listened to others, but did not hear me. There was even a moment when he sought solace on the side. – Mom smiled sadly at her memories, and disgust swept over me.

- Don't think badly of your father, this is our personal business with him. This is not uncommon in noble families, especially royal ones. I was at that moment absorbed in thoughts about how to carry you and give birth safely, it helped a lot to distract myself. – She was trying to smooth over my father's act.

– In the eighth month of pregnancy, we were invited to a birthday celebration. Everything was wonderful, despite the long road and cool weather, we got there safely. The ball was magnificent and we were welcomed cordially, as I remember now. But in the midst of all this fun, I started having premature contractions. – I continued to listen attentively, not understanding why my mother decided to tell me the story of my birth.

- We retired to our bedroom. Horel was all on edge, he was so afraid that I would lose you. So he hurried to find a doctor and a midwife, and I stayed with the lady - in - waiting.

- Did you give birth without waiting for help? – I was trying to predict the course of events.

- No, of course not. It was October, and we only had you in December. - She smiled.

- Then what happened that day?

- When your father returned with the doctor, I had already gone through all the circles of hell from pain and was just lying on the bed covered in blood. The sight, I think, was not for the faint of heart... - She paused again, considering the next words. - You died in my womb.

It was like the spirit was pulled out of me, I was trying to digest the information. How can I die if I'm standing here, more than alive?

- I don't understand, Mom. – I looked lost.

- I don't understand myself, my little one. At that moment, I was just as dead as you, only mentally. But then I felt the warmth in my stomach, it seemed to concentrate in its very center and grow, spreading throughout my body, sweeping away all traces of past pain and fatigue. My stomach glowed with flickering lights that funneled around and soaked into it. I was so shocked by what I saw that I asked Horel to see what it could be. But there was a second oddity – he did not see at all what I saw and looked at me with such eyes as if I had gone mad. He was even more surprised when I easily jumped out of bed with my legs and forced the doctor to check you again. - her pained look was full of disbelief at her own words.

- And I was alive... - I continued for her.

- Yes. - she broke into a gentle smile again. - It was a miracle... my miracle. After that, the pregnancy proceeded as perfectly as you can imagine. And in December I already gave birth to you, easily and without much pain.- she reached out and stroked my cheek. - Relations with your father also immediately improved.

- But you couldn't give birth to a child after that, - I asked, tormenting me with a question. I felt guilty about it.

- Our little princess. You have become a great gift for us, this is more than enough for me. And even though I couldn't give birth to a son, your father still loves you infinitely, even though he hides everything behind an impenetrable facade. No one in our family had such beautiful hair as yours, they remind me of those lights that saved you, the same sparkling. - I was shocked by what I heard. - But I'm telling you this because you don't have to worry about your lack of magical abilities. You are already magic in yourself, dear Thea. Remember that.

/End of memories/

Why am I thinking about this now?

You should see now, Mom, where your daughter is and what she does. Of all the magic that has been passed on to me, I can magically look for adventures on my ass.

A knock on the glass brought me out of my thoughts. I turned my gaze to the window and stared at him dumbfounded. On the ledge sat my recent nocturnal friend – a huge black raven. Pinch me, does this bird have a mind? How did he end up here? I began to suspect something was wrong, remembering the legend associated with birds and death.

Waving my hands in the air, as if dispelling bad thoughts, I opened the window wide open. And the raven, flapping its massive wings, flew into the room and landed on the headrest of the bed.

- Hey, buddy. - I tilted my head slightly, examining the raven. - I'm starting to suspect that you're a domestic bird after all. Why are you so eager to get into the cage? You know, I have to go to work now, but I'll leave the window open. You can fly away at any time. - I really hoped that he would fly away, otherwise if Mrs. Rose finds out about him, there will be trouble.

The caretaker bird was sitting proudly on the bed, not moving at all, but not taking her eyes off me. It's a strange... strange bird. Maybe he's trained?

I stretched out my hand and called the raven to me. But he did not take advantage of my invitation and remained in his place. Hmm, apparently I went too far with the training. Okay, no time for games, it's time to run.

- Guests are expected at the palace today, so I can't stay and chat with you, I'm sorry.

I hastily put on a dress, tied the apron I had washed the day before and tied a cap over my gathered hair. I looked at myself in the mirror, which Jen gave me out of the kindness of her heart, and I didn't see a raven in the reflection. I turned around, but he wasn't there. What kind of tricks are these? Of course, I didn't have to look for a long time. The bird was sitting on the windowsill and I didn't notice it right away behind the dark curtains. When did he manage to fly over and so silently, besides? Continuous unanswered questions with this creature.

I reminded raven once again that the window was open and he had to use it. And slamming the door quietly, I left the room.