บท 48: Chapter 48
-Hinata's POV-
We tried texting and calling Sakura, Gaara, and even Kisame and Deidara in hopes one would respond and come let us inside, but none of them did. Either everyone's pranking us or the signal is worse than I thought under that thick metal roof. It was too risky to try anyone else because they might get the wrong idea if they find he and I out here by ourselves.
With nothing left to do but wait, I sat back down on the top step and sighed in defeat as I leaned down slightly to wrap my arms around myself. The winter wind was biting at every inch of my skin. If I'd known we'd be locked out, I would've grabbed a coat or at least a hat.
A humorless laugh came from Sasuke and I turned my head to look at him, only to be surprised to see him sit before wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me against his side. My eyes widened as my cheek pressed against his chest, warmth rising to my face despite the bitter cold. Chancing a glance up at his face, I realized he was glaring out at the empty employee parking lot before us with his mouth in a firm line.
Deciding to just bite the bullet and be brave, I wrapped my arms around him as best as I could in our seated position. The Uchiha man became rigid in my embrace for a short moment before accepting it and pulling me up to sit across his lap.
A squeak of shock passed my lips at his sudden movement, but he silenced it by stunning me further with a soft kiss. I desperately tried to meet his gaze, but his eyes were shut. The butterflies in my stomach were fluttering around wildly, an intense excited feeling rising in my chest, but I forced my own to shut and made myself lean further into his affection.
The other night, when we drunkenly made out, I hadn't imagined it. The warm feeling kissing Sasuke brought was just as comforting as it was arousing. It made me want to do things I've never dreamt of while also tempting me to run far away because the sensations are more intense than anything I've felt in my life.
Even with my eyes tightly closed, he's gorgeous.
My fingers danced up to hesitantly caress his jaw.
God, he smells so good.
I tucked my feet under his legs and twisted my spine slightly so my chest was almost facing him. It didn't take long for me to feel a bit warmer, or maybe it was just hard to focus on the cold when such a man was doing all he could to be a distraction.
He paused a second longer than before and my eyes crept open just a creak to see he was doing the same, then he kissed me again, this time slipping his tongue slightly past my lips before pulling away a bit to verify if I was going to allow it. My eyes widened just a bit more in surprise and he mirrored the act, but pressed against my lips again and I didn't stop him when he went for it this time.
A hitch interrupted my breath when his tongue moved slowly around mine, urging me to interact with him, and my brow furrowed, but I closed my eyes and made myself fulfill his wordless request.
Sasuke tastes good. There's nothing to compare it to, either.
The heat in my face continued to heat as the kiss gradually became less hesitant until a familiar fuzzy, clouded sensation began to arise within my head. Long fingers crawled up my back to hold the back of my head, tangled in my hair, to prevent me from pulling away as he undoubtedly picked up on my rising panic. The heartbeat pounding against my ribcage felt like it was about to burst through, it was pumping so hard.
Just before it seemed like too much to handle, he slowed down. His tongue slid out of my mouth, but he continued to press chaste kisses into my lips as though he wasn't ready to stop but didn't want me to faint.
I did my best to respond well, but after a minute I felt his lips twitch as he tried not to smile and then he guided my head under his chin, holding it there with the hand he had in my hair so I couldn't see his face. When I tried to pull away to look up, he just held me more tightly so I gave in and just rested against his chest and focused on calming myself down.
His heart was pounding almost as fast as mine. I could hear it with my ear to his shirt and that surprised me and made me smile to myself.
Sasuke suddenly spoke in a raspier voice than I'm used to hearing, most likely from a mixture of what we were just doing and the cold air, "All that confidence was just you being drunk, huh?"
Oh, he's referring to how I all but attacked him the other night. I couldn't bring myself to respond verbally and just shook my head as I tried to somehow curl up closer in his lap. Apparently the act was amusing because he chuckled, only humiliating me further.
Minutes passed in silence.
Finally calmed, I mumbled softly, "I-Is this alright?" He didn't say anything in response, but I felt his heartbeat pick up against my ear and that was enough.
This time around, he's the one who initiated this so it's not like I was worried I forced myself on him again, but now I'm not sure what exactly this is. Are we just casually messing around to see how strong our attraction to one another actually is or is it something more serious? I don't know the answer. What I do know, though, is how I personally feel about all of this.
Sasuke as a person, I accept him as he is even if I don't agree with some aspects of his lifestyle. I don't like how nonchalant sex is for him and I don't like how closed off he is emotionally, but I like him and if accepting those things is what it takes for him to continue accepting my friendship then I'll suffer in silence.
Sasuke's my friend before anything else and I've picked up things over the past ten months or so without him having to say a word. For example, his love language is physical touch and he's tried so very hard since becoming closer with me to restrain himself so as to not make me uncomfortable, even to this day.
I see it easily when he interacts with Sakura and Gaara because they're used to it. Sakura shares that trait so it makes sense that they're always play-fighting and don't shy away as much as Gaara and I do when it comes to getting physically close to one another.
Gaara's more comfortable with it than me since his older siblings, Temari in particular, dote on him so much, but the redhead obviously prefers it from Sakura rather than Sasuke. Still, if the two sit next to each other, they don't do that semi-homophobic thing that a lot of guys do where they put some space between one another so others don't think they're more than friends.
Sasuke also loves compliments, but not in the way one would think. Sure, he undoubtedly appreciates all the adoring comments on our music videos and social media posts that gush over how handsome he is, but his response to those are much less noticeable than those that cater to his talent or effort. He likes being recognized for what he's created or done rather than his looks or wealth. I think it's a little bittersweet because it at least seems like he didn't receive that kind of attention until signing with Evolution.
One of the things I try to personally work at for his sake is eye contact. I think he really likes it. The moment I began realizing it, way back when we still lived at the dorms, I made a point to try to cater to the trait. It was worth it, though, because just meeting his eye doesn't send me into an anxiety attack like it used to. Guiltily, I sort of like it, too, because he has very nice eyes and I get to look at them all I want.
Most people say brown and black eyes are boring, but they've obviously never seen someone like him in person. They've clearly never witnessed the light hit eyes like Sasuke's and make them glitter warmly.
I bit the inside of my cheek, pulling myself from my highschool-crush-esk thoughts and getting back on task, mentally.
What I was trying to say before I went off on this tandem was that I can't let myself want more than something casual with Sasuke because that's not who he is and I'd never ask him to change for my sake. Right now, already, I keep catching myself picturing what we could end up being together, how wonderful things could be if we were to properly date, but I have to get a grip.
I can't let myself lose control like I did when I was trying to hide the fact that I'm physically attracted to him from everyone, Sasuke included. If I do, things will get awkward. That's not a question. They will one hundred percent be weird because he'll get spooked by such serious emotions and I'll get hurt by that type of reaction and then we'll have to keep working together and sleeping just one room away.
The sound of the door opening had me struggling quickly out of his lap and to my feet. To my complete disdain, Hidan's violet eyes narrowed when they landed on me, then Sasuke, and then back on me.
I could tell by the tilt in his vocal tone that he wouldn't be quite this friendly if I was alone out here because of how I beat him during the challenge earlier, but he had to keep up his facade so he grinned widely, "Am I interrupting something, you two?" I glared at him since my bandmate was slightly behind me and couldn't see my face, but he cut me off before I could respond.
"We both needed to make a call and got locked out. Don't jump to conclusions." Both Hidan and I both looked at him as he reached around me to grab the handle of the door, holding it open and gesturing for me to go inside.
The Akatsuki member smiled again, a hand raised slightly in casual defense, "I was just joking, bro." He then met my eye again, his grin becoming a bit tense, "Better get back before someone realizes you're both missing."
I glanced between the two men, who seemed to be having some sort of stare off, before hurrying into the much warmer building. When I realized no one was moving, I turned and spoke softly, "Sasuke…"
The Uchiha man's glare turned onto me, but he obeyed my wordless request and followed me inside. Hidan propped the door open, shooting me a wink before I could turn away, and then I met Sasuke's eye and whispered just in case there were cameras so they wouldn't pick up my words, "What was that all about?"
He shook his head, "Nothing, let's go."
Obviously, he was lying, but he also has a bit of a quick temper when he's like this so I didn't pry and let it be. At first, I thought he maybe found out about what Hidan tried to do to me at that party, but I'm pretty sure he'd try to kill the man rather than just glare at him so it has to be something else.
To my relief, it didn't feel awkward between us as we returned to the room where everyone was sleeping and parted ways for the night.
-Sasuke's POV-
Her taste was still fresh in my mind as I climbed into my sleeping bag and put my phone on the charger before staring up at the dark ceiling. I thought it might've been the liquor making me hallucinate how good it felt to be with her, but I was wrong. In fact, it was better sober because the drunken haze wasn't there to make it hard to comprehend what was going on.
I can remember it all more clearly, too.
The feel of her soft lips against mine, her fingers trembling slightly against my skin, and most of all the heavy emotions filling her eyes to the brim the entire time. Hinata's as easy to read as a book and that's one of the things that makes it so hard to ignore her, even when I want to desperately. It's all there, in her eyes. She was so nervous the entire time, but she was also excited and curious.
Like the asshole that I am, I realized immediately how she was unconsciously trying harder to keep it together than when she was with Kiba and it makes me feel like I've won, somehow. This isn't a game, I know that. Even if it was, the Inuzuka man's not playing anymore and hasn't for months now, but I'm still not about to hold back such a victorious wave of serotonin.
I sighed to myself, turning onto my side.
God, it's unreal how different everything feels with her. Every touch isn't selfish, like usual. I'm not solely focused on making myself feel good, whether it be physically with, obviously, fucking the hell out of some random woman or mentally by making said woman feel good so my shitty ass ego can get bigger.
No, I can barely think about myself whenever we're that close. It's all her, everything.
Are her eyes open?
Is she looking at me?
Is she scared?
Does she want this, too?
Does she like this?
My head's not so far up my own ass that I can't realize how terrible it is that not being selfish is a foreign concept, but I also wouldn't care if it were anyone except her.
My brow furrowed as I recalled kissing her. She might just be a natural at all this and no one's had the chance to discover it yet. The way her tongue…I groaned lightly to myself, quietly so as to not draw attention to myself in the mostly quiet room. I want to fuck her senseless.
Just the small reactions she gave out there were enough to pique my interest and have me trying to picture what other faces she can make, what she might sound like if she can't control herself. Her voice is so nice already, too. What would it feel like, between those soft thighs? I bet it's heaven.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Those types of thoughts are dangerous. I can't keep doing that, letting myself get carried away, or I'll slip up with her and really mess things up. She's not some slut. If she knew the thoughts I have about her, she'd faint without question and likely avoid me for the rest of her life.
No, I have to get it together and keep it together. If, for some unknown reason, she lets me get that far in the future, I can't rush or have unreal expectations of her in the beginning. It's going to take a lot of patience and self-control, if it somehow happens at all.
I want to be annoyed with her for being so inexperienced, but can't bring myself to do it because it really isn't her fault I'm such a monster. It's also not her fault she was raised in such a sheltered household. If I had a sister, I bet she'd be reserved just like her because that's how women are raised in families like ours.
Rather than focus on all that negativity, I'll focus on the positive. I know it's wishful thinking, but if she does let me get that close, I'll have the pleasure of knowing I'm the one and only person who's been blessed with such a priceless experience. Ah…that's a little fucked up, I know, but I'm an asshole. It's been made known many times at this point.
I just need to be sure she doesn't see me that way in the end, no matter what happens.
-Hinata's POV-
When I woke in the morning, Sakura was cuddled up to my middle in a little ball with her back to me and a pillow hugged tightly between her arms and legs. I stifled a giggle at her. She always has to have something to snuggle when she's sleeping, I noticed. If you're near Sakura when she's asleep, prepare to be used as a pillow and/or teddy bear. It used to surprise me, but I've grown incredibly used to it.
When I checked my phone, it was almost half past five in the morning. Everyone was asked to be showered and ready to go to hair and makeup by seven so it's highly likely I'm the first one awake.
Expertly climbing out of my sleeping bag without waking my bandmate, I groggily stepped out of the room. After grabbing a clean outfit and provided amenities from the locker with my name, I headed into the ladies' shower room. There were about ten showers in total, separated only by thin blue curtains that fell to about a foot off the ground so you could see if it was occupied by seeing their feet.
I waited a few moments for the water to warm before undressing and stepping behind the curtain. The steaming hot water almost burnt my skin, but felt amazing on my tense muscles. They really didn't appreciate sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor. Footsteps sounded softly in the room, but I didn't think anything of it. Konan or Sakura likely woke up after I left. Instead, I moved all of my hair over one shoulder so the thick streams of water could massage my sore neck and shoulders.
"Oh shit! My bad!"
My eyes shot open when the panicked voice that echoed in the acoustically sound room was very much not female. To my mortification, the steam had moved the curtain just an inch or two, but it was enough for me to see Kisame's bright red face. If I can see him, he can see me.
Before the scream rising in my throat could sound, I heard more footsteps and quickly fumbled to make sure the curtain was completely closed.
"Kisame, what the hell dude. This are the girl showers, fucking idiot. Let's go." It was Hidan, making my skin feel cold even under the piping hot water. He seemed to realize the room wasn't empty and tried to smooth things over for his friend, "Sorry about him! He's a real dumbass in the morning!"
Then the sound of them hurrying away met my ears and I waited for multiple moments of silence to pass before letting out the breath I'd been holding with a bright red face and dizzy head. Kisame…he almost definitely just saw me naked, even if it was only for a second before he realized his mistake and closed his eyes.
Once I was done showering, I peeked out from behind the curtain to make sure no men were still lurking around. After ensuring the coast was clear, I stepped out in my towel and approached the sink to brush my teeth. With a wipe away of the steam on the mirror, I realized my face was still very much bright red and averted my gaze down to the pearly white sink so it wouldn't be as hard to distract myself from what just happened.
I do actually believe he didn't mean to come in here, but that doesn't change the fact that he's now the only grown man to see me naked. How humiliating…
Heat flooded my face further, then my chest, and then I had to splash cold water on my face and focus on my breathing to stop the process of having a panic attack.
Once everyone was awake and showered, we were taken to hair and makeup once again and offered a big table of breakfast foods and drinks to help ourselves to in the meantime. Every single time I'd accidentally meet Kisame's gaze or he'd meet mine, we'd both look away with red faces. There's no doubting it now. He definitely saw me naked or else he wouldn't suddenly be acting like this.
That, the news Hanabi gave me last night about my father, and the fact that we were soon to begin the next Top Tier challenge had me so anxious it was hard to stomach any food so I just sipped some coffee and tried not to meet anyone's eye.
Sakura's seat is right next to mine and she's dramatically telling me and our stylists about the crazy dream she had last night, but I'm not really listening. Either she hasn't noticed my unease or has and is choosing to ignore it, which I very much appreciate. She, and the other two members of Prestige, learned before we even moved out of the dorms that I prefer not to have attention drawn to me when I get nervous because it just makes things worse.
Loud, over-exuberant giggles suddenly filled the air, making both Sakura and I look behind us via our mirrors to see a handful of the stylists gathered around Sasuke, Deidara, and Hidan as they had their hair and makeup finished. My pink-haired bandmate and I shared an annoyed look before facing the front again.
Heat rose to my face and ears as I recalled, for maybe the millionth time in the last two hours, the passionate kiss we shared last night. Not that I have a crazy amount of experiences to compare it to, but it's the best one I've ever had and that's a fact.
Somehow, his confidence and firmness still manages to come off as gentle and I appreciate that because he must be holding back quite a bit for my sake. What really makes it hard for me to distract myself is the look that was on his face when we met eyes half-way through it. It was so…attentive? Deep? Dark? It was all those things and more and it left me wanting more. Much more.
The excited feeling simmered down when I remembered him having to pull back so I wouldn't faint. It didn't hit me until I first saw him this morning, the humiliation. He might not try to kiss me ever again after that show of cowardice. I'm so embarrassed.
After the New Year's party, he kind of insinuated that he doesn't care about my lack of experience, but Kiba said that too and I could tell near the end that the Inuzuka man was beginning to lose his patience no matter how hard he tried to hide it. Now, Sasuke has his own great qualities, but patience very much isn't one of them. It took only a few months for Kiba to start getting antsy about it, so I know the Uchiha man's going to crack much sooner.
Speaking of him cracking, last night…
I had no idea Mikoto Uchiha was dead and it makes me feel like an awful friend. Sure, it's hard as hell to get Sasuke to talk about his home life, but come on. His obviously preferred parent died only a year ago. How could I not have noticed something before yesterday when he was acting off?
And he was so close to tearing up out there on the steps, too. I don't know what I would've done if he did cry in front of me. There's no way I'd ever judge him for it. In fact, I'd feel grateful he felt secure enough to show me that kind of vulnerability, but I just don't think we're there yet.
I'll go to bat for him at a moment's notice, but I can't picture myself sitting down and telling him how my father's treatment truly makes me feel, even if he likely already knows some of it. Maybe someday we will be that close and I really hope we do, but for now all I can do is try my best to be there for him should he choose to open up even a little like he did last night.
Soon everyone was led back out onto the set, which had once again been expertly transformed. So much so, in fact, that it doesn't even look like we're in the same building as yesterday. Rather than an obstacle course or boxing ring, there was a massive wall with twelve doors evenly spaced out across it. Each one was decorated with unbelievably realistic blood and spider webs.
My heart sank as Yamato spoke and confirmed my fears, "Today's first challenge: Top Tier's famous haunted house!"
Sakura groaned at my side and I absently nodded in agreement. Since the day we were informed that we'd be on this show, I've been praying that they'd somehow choose to skip this challenge. It's so scary in there that it's notorious for breaking even the bravest of men, not to mention scaredy cats like me. Top Tier hires movie makeup artists and actors to staff the thing and they take their jobs very seriously.
"The team with the least amount of reactions to the horrors inside will be the winners. Simple, right? Wrong! This season, there's a twist!" Yamato turned to gesture at the twelve doors along the long wall, "You may group up once inside, but every contestant will enter the haunted house completely alone in separate hallways."
The host continued, explaining that the challenge has two different floors and the actors inside will have body cams so they can catch our terrified reactions. Other than those, there aren't many cameras in there.
Sakura's hand shot into the air when he asked if anyone had any concerns, "Are the actors allowed to touch us?"
Everyone, myself included, could tell she was hoping for him to respond "no", but he didn't. Instead, he grinned excitedly, "They are allowed to do anything they want to try and scare you so long as no one is hurt in the process."
I looked over at Sakura with a frown. Without a doubt, she's as scared as me, but when I have a flight response, she has a fight one. I hope those actors are careful.
With a shake of my head, I tried to focus on our task again. This massive open room is bigger than a football field and almost all of it is being used as the haunted house right now, so it's bound to be intricate and confusing inside. All of us contestants were assigned a door at random and soon stood before them as we waited for the challenge to begin.
There's only one exit, twelve of us, and likely dozens of actors inside ready to earn their pay by scaring the hell out of us. My goal is to find my way out as quickly as possible because I already know I'm not suited for this type of thing.
The sooner I get out of there, the less likely we are to lose because I'm a big baby.
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