บท 18: A Scene By Eva.
I swallowed in the stuff on my throat in an attempt to clear it, then she looked back and smiled, i instantly got wet and almost confused, i composed my self in the best ways I could on the outside and let the inner battle take over instead, she offered me a sit very close to her and asked how I was doing and how char was also doing, I couldn't help the look of disgust that creep on my face, and she was suddenly shocked herself, so I asked her why she is asking of me and char when she was the genesis of our departure, i dont know if it was my lost eyes that seem to be soo lost in her dreamy eyes that made me think that no one could be more sorry and remorseful, i wanted to draw her close and give her a long lasting hug and a big forehead kiss, but the only thing I could do was roll her a blunt and told her to tell me i am lying, we gist for the better part of the afternoon, char seem to be the topic of our discussion as she, swore to me with all sincerity or so i thought, that she would never stoop that low and she had nothing against me or her so why would she do that to a friend, I believed her, and told her it's no biggie and past is past, also there's nothing I can do to change the Christian mother's mind.....
When it was past six we both agreed that we might actually have to bring a blanket out to put a hold on the conversation, when I got to the living room I saw my bestie standing up and getting ready to have more fun.
I instantly declined the order and told her I will get my self home, I took my time watch her leave, she also told her guys she wasn't going cos she was seeing some series. So as I was about to step out of the house she asked if there was light at my friends house and if she can come charge her laptop and see a movie?.
My heart relocated to my tommy and i was seriously battling with the serious jailed feeling from my stomach, I looked into her eyes and she smiled then took her scarf and ask us to go as it almost getting late, on getting outside, I raised up to see the big mighty char, looking at me like she could forget her five fingers on my cheeks, giving me a hot death glare and looking at her friend with a look of disgust and betrayal, as I pass by not wanting to greet she called my name and told me she knew I had no intentions of greeting.
I rumbled up a reply and walk moderately to meet up with Eva, I was very careful she wouldn't find out I was going with her, because when Eva passed by she greeted her with a smile and walk past me like we just did not have 5 consecutive hours of heated conversation, but I played along well and did not even flinch at the move so it was easy to fool char, even if i refuse to see a necessity to that seeing as we are not even half way together anymore...
Since that very day Eva would call if I was close by so she could sneak in with her laptop to see a movie or just randomly call if I have book to give her, every single one of her voice stays in my head for too long, I am dreadfully attracted to her....
After a long while, I made a decision to leave the environment and anything attaching me to it, I wasn't ready to loose it yet I still wanted to have control of my sanity, because for more than onces or twice I have lost it, and the people in my life seem not to know how much of an insane baggage of trouble I could be and getting attached to her just seem like a horrible, scary idea I needed a break from all this heart beats and steady emotions running through me, it does me no good I have no reason to keep living this way.
In a city full of torns and glass i needed an escape and the best thing was to run, i ran far so far no one guessed we were in the same community, I felt the emptiness and lived with, I played with it and fought with it, I felt the huge surge of withdrawal cussing through my veins, I needed a fix of crack, I needed a distraction, I needed anything that will take away the huge pain of want, I needed light but I couldn't even stand to open up my room curtain, I wanted to be contained and i was contained soo bad i almost lost it in the pool of infatuation and euphoria, I needed to go back to euphoria so bad.
I was smoking cigarettes without control, and my pot is never ending, i was so contained and captured the only means of enlightenment was my phone, that was the only thing that kept me off my mind at rare times, that was the only thing the once again brought me back to you, i was randomly checking status individually, looking at thier names and trying in my head to figure out what thier lives must be like, as if it was any of my business.
Though the things I am feeling could be compared to thiers I never left the room, I never left my head, I until that day I saw her status randomly posting up your chin, I was shocked, I haven't seen her do that before, it will be the first,.
The moment i saw a picture of you under a very familiar looking mango tree, very weird, but peculiar picture, out of the world if i might say because a stare of it drove me fast out of my euphoria,.
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