บท 9: Love Wasn't Enough
Harriet,tell me what is wrong? i couldn't help but cry too seeing the condition my mom was in,her body was shaking with her arms wrapped around me. My mother said i should bring Maya over that she can't deal with Maya anymore,her room is smelling urine because Maya urinating frequently almost every night and infact that's the reason she here. My elder brother replied.
You and your mother couldn't wait until morning to bring back my daughter, is your father aware of this? How could he be so heartless to let you bring his daughter out at this odd hour? I don't blame you and I have but little to say to you, tell your parents i said thanks and i appreciate everything she has done to Maya ever since i got divorced from your father and am aware of how she maltreat Maya but God in heaven sees everything and he will be the one to judge all of you for your evil deeds,mom said to my step brother angrily and carried the few clothes he brought me with and we went inside and slammed the door leaving my step brother.
What did i ever do to your father to deserve this? How could he be leaving under the same roof with you and all this is happening and still do nothing about it? Did I make a mistake by falling in love with him? What if something bad had happened to you on your way here, no calls from him or your so called step mother to know if you are safe. Mom said with tears rolling down her face.
Stop crying please am fine i just couldn't deal with everything anymore i just want to be with you that's why I cried and told them i want to be with you, if you keep crying I'll go back and keep suffering if that will make you stop crying , don't say that as she hugged me so tight let's go to bed, we will talk about it in the morning mom ended the conversation.
In my head i had so many thoughts, everything was flashing back, for a moment i stopped thinking about me and thought of Harriet my sister, how will she survive staying in that house without me? Who will she cry with or share her problems with?
The night seemed so long and all I wanted was for morning to come so i could see my sister because we didn't get to talk before i left, my eyes was filled with tears but I have to hold myself because mom cuddle me to sleep I wouldn't want her over thinking again she's had so much to deal with already.
People say you can't change your past, really? The overwhelming aspect of your past exists in the form of a memory, if you can change the memory you effectively shift the manner in which your past affects you. This is literally healing in it's glory.
Can't change your future? Really? What you do and think now dictates every single next step. You are so much more in control than you're led to believe. Let them keep the hype.let them keep the low vibrating manner in which they go about life. This path isn't for the base minded.thats why you chose it,stay open,mirror wisely. You're creating every single aspect of your reality no regrets. Just do better.
I was young but i had that running through my head at that moment waiting for morning to come, I had made up my life to accept life as it is. The pleasure of life are short - lived, and more often than not, they are followed by sorrow. Life means responsibility, a journey when in, change is constant and difficulties are relentless in their onslaught.
You will not find a Father,a wife, or a friend who is free from problems. God has willed for this world to be filled with two opposite Good and evil, righteousness and corruption, happiness and misery. Thus goodness, uprightness, and happiness are for the fire. Then I remembered this teachings of the holy book where the prophet said, this world is cursed along with all that is in it, except for these..The remembrance of the lord, what follows it (i.e good deeds and whatever God loves) the scholar and the student.
So live according to your reality without always envisioning the ideal life, one that is free from worry and toil. Accept life as it is and adapt according to all circumstances. You have alot of good coming your way , it is what you asked for. So it's best if you start being a bit more gentle on yourself as you prepare to receive. You're so quick to move physically thinking that you speed things up. When in actuality it's your energy that's drawing to you what you've summoned. Focus on cleaning any resistance. Relaxing your mind. Elevating your energy be more consistent with your self-care the more easily the path to liberation undoes itself for you. Trust this process. This is the way. I said to my self waiting for the day to break.
Don't quit, when things go wrong as they sometimes will. when the road you're trudging seems all up hill, when the funds are low and the debts are high and you want to smile, but you have to sigh when care is pressing you down a bit, rest if you must, but don't you quit. Life is strange with it's twists and turns as everyone of us sometimes learns and many a failure comes about when we might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow- you may succeed with another blow, success is failure return inside out the silver tint of the cloud of doubt, and you never can tell just how close you are. It may be near when it seems so far, so stick to the fight when things seem worst that you must not quit.
Those where the last words of my mother those words she said to me when she came to park her stuffs from my father's house. Just like they said sleep is nobody's mate, I dozed off and it was morning again. Wake up and pray baby, mom said to me.
What would you like to have for breakfast? Go take a shower am here now and everything is going to be fine and you can always share anything with me.
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