บท 18: Chapter 18
When is it necessary to step away for oneself and when is it necessary to face an issue in a relationship? I do not know.
I also bid my goodbye to Madam when Sofiya left to go upstairs. I didn't say anything to Keion and neither of them nor Taiden. I avoided his gazes. I was afraid they would see in my eyes how much I was affected by what I saw. I held back the tears until I turned my back on them.
One by one the tears fled from my eyes but I did not wipe them away. I was afraid they might be looking at me as I went up the stairs and see me rubbing my cheek.
I was breathing up and down because my chest was so tight. Why did he suddenly change? Why does he look angry? I should be mad at him for what I saw him and Sofiya did! But why do I feel like it's me who did something wrong?
I slumped on the cold bed when I entered the room. I felt the pain in my chest that I have only now felt in my whole life.
I said, I'm not going to give in Sofiya's tricks. But it's really different if you've witnessed it yourself.
What happened to his promises to me?
I laughed hestirically to myself at the thought. Who is really crazy to take a poor maid like me, seriously? Sofiya has all the riches that Taiden will like.
My stomach ached at the thought. My self -confidence increased so much that he was true to me. That he did truly loved me although, I'm a nanny. I shooked my head.
If I can find a time later, I will talk to him. I am a helper, yes. But I am also a person who needs to be enlightened. I am not blind to what I see. My feelings right now needs validation.
Suddenly, my cellphone rang as I was busy settling down to myself. That was from Keion.
Keion:
I know you're not okay. I'm still outside of the mansion. If you want to leave, I will go with you.
Keion is kind to me, even though I'm bothered that he still wants to help me. I immediately typed a reply.
Me:
I'm fine, Keion. I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye to you. Go home. Thanks.
After I sent the message, I was shocked when the door to my room opened and Taiden entered, closing the door at the same time. His face was very angry and it was as if he was killing me with his stares.
I'm sure I can see now in my face the evidence that I came from crying. But, I don't care anymore.
He was just standing and looking at me angrily. I don't know, if I was just imagining it but, I saw a disgust look in his eyes.
He bent down and grinned slightly and he put one hand on his head and slightly pulled himself up, as if his head hurt.
"Give me that phone ..." he said coldly while pointing at my cellphone. I frowned and wondered why I didn't immediately do what he wanted.
"I said, give me that f***ing phone!" he repeated in an angry and frightening voice as he stared at me intently.
I didn't know what he was trying to do. He took it in my hand harshly and he manipulated it.
He closed his eyes slightly at what he saw on the screen and I was surprised at what he did next.
"F***!" he slammed it and threw on the wall so it shattered.
"What are you doing?!" I said in shock but instead of being scared of my scream I was more scared to think he threw me.
"You, f***ing cheater. How's my friend? Is he good? You didn't wait for us to do it so you did it with him even though I'm your boyfriend, Ze? Is it too itchy ?!" he laughed.
It was as if I was punched in the chest by what he said. I do not understand! And I can't miss it. I immediately stood up and went to where he was standing before I gave him a loud slap. With its excessive force my palm ached slightly.
But that didn't even halve the pain I was feeling.
"With the two of us, you cheated first and I didn't! I'm not doing anything wrong. Ha!" I laughed hestirically. "How low do you look at me? If I only knew. If I only knew. I shouldn't have believe in you!" I gasped as tears welled up in my eyes.
He was looking at me with the same eyes. Angry and disgusted.
"You slept with him! Do you think I would believe that nothing happened? I'm not a f***ing dumb and blind to not notice those exchanging glances. To all my friends, why him? Why him, Ze ?!" he said and cursed loudly.
"I don't know what you're saying. And you? How's Sofiya? Is she good, huh? Taiden?" it hurts me to question him like that.
And my world collapsed even more in extreme pain when he replied.
"So good. So f***ing good." he said while not letting go of my gaze as if he wanted to see in my eyes what my reaction would be.
Something has already happened to them. I first saw the picture of them hugging Sofiya before I even went to Keion's condo.
How he knew I was there I don't care anymore. And there's no reason to explain why I'm there. Whatever he thinks now about Keion and me, that's even better. We now are fair.
I angrily wiped away the tears that fell and ran down my cheeks. I took a deep breath so I wouldn't stutter as I spoke.
"It's not good. We'll end our foolishness sooner." I said that but I was hurt.
"I didn't fool you." he said sweetly.
I was not deceived? What is he saying? He admits something happened to them and then he says he didn't cheat?
"Isn't that cheating yet? Sofiya sitting on your lap? She kissed you in front of me and you just let her go? And don't ever tell me the reason that's she's just your mom's god daughter that's why you're in such a sweet state. I want you... but I'm not a fool." I said in an angry voice.
I could see the pain pass through his eyes, but I did not shake. The pain he feels, however, is less than his contempt for me. That's the kind of woman he thinks of me. Of all the insults I have received, it hurts more if it comes directly from the person you love.
I thought he would still speak. I thought he would beg and apologize to me. But no, he turned around and left the room. And that's where I was hurt more. He wouldn't even prove that he had done nothing wrong if he hadn't. Why did he leave that way?
Maybe everything he admitted was true. I'm the only one hoping that he might just say that because he's angry. I just hope that all the promises he told me are true.
This is what I'm afraid of, that I might only feel happy for a while. But I'm sure the pain will last on me.
I can't even live here while Taiden and I are in this state. I could no longer afford to be with and see him on the same roof. I don't like the air he breathes. Too painful and debilitating.
I hope Madam understands me in what I'm going to do.
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