บท 1: I'm Dead?
It was supposed to be the day I have been waiting for. my number favorite anime, One Piece newest and final movie will be premiered today. At last, I can see the end of One Piece and see Luffy obtain the One Piece! But who have ever thought that I will die on the way to the cinema. No, let me rephrase it. How can I ever thought that I would die in front of the movie theater room. I have waited for an hour just to stand in the line to buy the ticket and just when I walk in the theater, there was a fucking truck speeding it's way to me.
Yes, a fucking truck with a fucking smiling face, and add the fact that it was inside the theater room. I was flabbergasted, I don't know how to react. Does that truck has some kind of enmity to me or something? And now I found myself currently sitting on a chair inside some kind of dark dimension. There is nothing here except a working girl in front of me. The girl has long blonde hair and a pair of big jugs. Her face is very beaut... wait, why do I feel that she's familiar?
"Unfortunately you have died, Kido Saburou-san..."(???)
"Isn't that obvious already? Are you taking me for an idiot? So what next? Are you going to reincarnate me or transmigrate or something? Who are you in the first place?"(Saburou)
"Wha!? Eh... ano, You can call me Eris and I'm a goddess in charge of your soul, Kido Saburou-san."(Eris)
That name! I remember now! Isn't she a goddess from Konosuba? How can I met... alright why should I think hard about it in the first place? Like some quotes I had readed before, Just let things happen, Let life flow, don't force it. Wait in my situation doesn't the 'life part be change to 'death'? Whatever...
"Oh Eris! The goddess who pad herself to have a bigger boobs! Well it's nice to meet you!." (Saburou)
"WHA!?!?!!, WHO TOLD YOU THA... I MEAN NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE!!!!"(Eris)
"Then let me feel it, you don't mind right? Since you are so proud of your fake boobies, let me cope it a little... he he he..."(Saburou)
"Awawawa.. you... PERVERT!!!"(Eris)
"So let's get back to business Eris. I want to go back to my world for just a bit. Just give me 3 hours, I need to watch One Piece last movie!"(Saburou)
"Hmph! Since you love that cartoon so much I will just transmigrate you to that world! Enjoy your new life, Pervert-san. Fu..fu..fu.."(Eris)
"CHOTTOMATEKUDASTOP!!! Are you going to send me there as a normal village A or B or C or whatever fuck that is?!?! If you do that then I will spread that there's a flat chested goddess named Eris in that world and spread the Axis cult teaching there! I will build the Axis Order and made the whole world become Aqua follower!!!! I dare you to do that Eris!!!"(Saburou)
"Shameless!!! Fair enough, you would want a piece of all the action I will give you one wish, we could shake and make it happen."(Eris)
"I wasn't born this morning, twelve would be just fine."(Saburou)
"Why not just go ahead and ask for nickels on the dime!(1)"(Eris)
"Nine!"(Saburou)
"I'd do three"(Eris)
"Seven!"(Saburou)
"Maybe Four."(Eris)
"Five!"(Saburou)
""Deal!""(Saburou & Eris)
Then Eris somehow took out a contract which contain out agreement where she will grant me 5 wish that she capable to grant me and I will spread her name in that world. Then we sign the contract and the contract then start to glow and got burned. Then it split to two and each part flew inside my chest and her chest.
"Alright, what kind of wish do you want to ask? Let me tell you that an over powered wish cannot be made because it will being chaos to the world."(Eris)
"Fine, fine... It's just some normal wishes. For my first wish, I want to have a body that won't have any negative effect from eating the devil fruit. I mean every negative effect and not just a partial effect, I want a my body to stand for the full negative effect of a devil fruit!"(Saburou)
"Alright, First wish is to have a body with the ability to negate the negative effect of a devil fruit that made the body cannot swim. Second wish is to have a body with the ability to negate the weakening effect of a devil fruit when the body submerged in water. Third wish is to have a body with the ability to negate the all restraining effect from sea stones. Now tell me you last two wish, Hyoi Saburou - san."(Eris)
"This is not what we agreed for! And my name is Kido Saburou! Not that cursed name!!!! Let me change my those three wishes again."(Saburou)
"Are you going to use your fourth wish to redo you first, second, and third wish?"(Eris)
"You fucking Bitch!"(Saburou)
"Hmph!"(Eris)
Then a fucking brilliant idea came up inside my head. I grinned evilly at Eris and then said my fourth wish.
"For my fourth wish... I want the goddes with the name Eris that currently sitting in front of me to NEVER pad her CHEST ever again!" HA! Take that BITCH!"(Saburou)
"WHAT!?!? NO!!! TAKE THAT BACK!!!!"(Eris)
She suddenly started crying but well I hold my fellow brother Satou Kazuma way of life! That is Gender Equality!!!
"Did you think you can outsmart me old hag? Take that wish you fucking cunt!!"(Saburou)
"Wuaaaaa!!! You shameless dick head, pervert, idiot, weeb, neet, pervert!! wuaaaa"(Eris)
"HA HA HA!!! Yes cry some more!! Show me how helpless you are!! HA HA HA!!!!"(Saburou)
*On the heaven above*
An old man with long. white hair and long white beard is watching Eris and Saburou from the heaven CCHV(Closed Circuit Holyvision) while being accompanied by a young goddess with a long silver hair and golden eyes.
"Are you sure about letting them being like this sir manager? This farce will bring down our branch evaluation you know...."(???)
"*sigh* Just let them be, I'm used to it already. You are new here so you don't know how bad it was when Aqua still here... Damn just remembering what she did made my whole body shudders."(Manager)
"... What kind of goddess is she sir?"(???)
"Believe me, you don't even want to know about it... If you think that this kind of farce is bad, then that's good. That's mean that your way of life haven't got tainted yet, because if you compared it to Aqua deeds... *sigh* I want to sleep..."(Manager)
"What in the heavenly god name did she do to you..."(???)
"Well, let's continue to watch Eris and this guy funny collaboration act. It's been a while since something like this happened here, Ha ha ha!"(Manager)
AuthorNote:
(1) Ask for nickels on the dime meaning : asking half of a full piece or 50% of a 100%.
(2) CCTV : Closed Circuit Television
#Author: Hey guys, Thankyou for reading my fanfics. Please rate and comment about what can I improve here. I'm not that good with English grammars actually so all your help will be very appreciated.
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