บท 39: Indecision
"Master Paul...if it isn't too much trouble, I would like to go check on your mother..."
Though she didn't mind cuddling together in front of the hearth, Ganyu had gotten used to frequenting Valentine's room. She wasn't her servant or anything, but she proactively performed many of the same duties.
"Mmm..."
Raising his chin from Ganyu's head, Paul released her from his embrace as he said, "We'll go together. I'm sure my mother would enjoy the company."
Nodding her head in approval, Ganyu used Paul's knees to help her stand before extending a hand to help him up. He seemed to really like hugging her, so she had been sitting between his legs as he held her from behind and rested his head atop hers.
"Nyaa...!?"
As she had been resting her head against Paul's back, Diona was a little surprised when her support suddenly shifted. Fortunately, Xiangling and Xinyan had been sitting at Paul's sides, so they managed to catch her as she exclaimed, "What's the big idea, moving all of a sudden? Haven't you ever heard of a warning!?'"
Scratching the back of his head, Paul adopted a wry and apologetic smile as he said, "Sorry...it won't happen again..."
Snorting through her nose, Diona pulled her arms free from Xiangling and Xinyan, crossing them as she said, "It better not!"
"Diona..."
Hearing Jean say her name, Diona looked toward her asked, "What...?" in a slightly nervous tone. In her mind, Jean was still the Grandmaster of the Knights of Favonius. She would sometimes appear to break up bar fights or deal with unruly customers, so Diona had a mixture of fear and respect for Mondstadt's most revered Knight.
Before Jean could chastise Diona for speaking to him rudely, Paul said, "It's fine, Jean...I prefer the bold yet adorable Diona. Besides, at least when we're alone together like this, I would prefer if everyone just acted like themselves..."
Though she exhaled a soft sigh, a sincere smile developed across Jean's face as she replied, "Of course..."
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After accompanying Ganyu and spending some time with his mother, Paul decided he would explore his family's massive, fortress-like Estate on his own. Jean, Barbara, Xiangling, and Xinyan offered to accompany him, but, as accustomed as he was of the four girls' presence, there were moments when he just wanted to be alone. At least, that's what he thought...
"It's no wonder other Nobles traipse about like perverted idiots...with the exceptions of work, training, and studying; there is literally nothing better to do..."
Though he could easily find someone willing to sit down and play a game of chess with him, Paul didn't think it invalidated his point. He was looking for something to do on his own, not impose upon others.
"You should feel grateful..."
Hearing a cold voice sound out from behind him, Paul replied, "Every day of my life. That doesn't mean I can't feel bored..."
Looking back, Paul was confused yet unsurprised to find Rosaria standing behind him. He had been able to 'sense' someone following him for quite some time, but they hadn't been radiating any hostility. The only people he could imagine doing something like that were Kaeya and Rosaria, so it made sense for the latter to appear when he started speaking aloud.
Squinting her eyes, Rosaria asked, "You knew I was here...?" in an aloof, accusatory tone.
"I still have a long way to go, so you shouldn't underestimate practitioners of the Water God Style."
Surprising Paul, Rosaria shook her head, asserting, "You're wrong. Though I risked discovery on three occasions, I was able to collect information on each of the Sword Saints employed by your father. My constitution makes it impossible for a normal person to detect me..."
Raising his brows, Paul asked, "You mean the grey skin thing? I always thought that was just a stylistic choice of the artist who created you...at least back in my world..."
"Mmm..."
Though she wasn't fond of the idea that someone from Paul's world had created and dictated the life of a version of her, Rosaria chose not to let it bother her. Instead, she remained silent for a few seconds before asking, "Tell me, Paul Notos Greyrat, what is it you expect at the end of the path you currently walk?"
Furrowing his brows, Paul took a moment to consider Rosaria's question before asking, "What do you mean?"
Pulling out a silvery dagger from somewhere around her thigh, Rosaria twirled it between the fingers of her left hand as she questioned, "When everything is said and done, where do you expect to end up? What are your goals? Do you intend to start a family? Will you proclaim yourself a King? An Emperor? A God? I want to know what drives you, what pushes the man named Paul Notos Greyrat forward..."
Though his eyes momentarily followed the dagger, Paul eventually met Rosaria's as he answered, "I honestly have no idea."
Spontaneously ceasing her twirling, Rosaria exhibited a rare change in expression, brows raised as she asked, "I beg your pardon?"
Helplessly shrugging his shoulders, Paul attempted to explain what he meant, revealing, "Before I was given access to the Intersection of Fate, the only things driving me forward were a desire to be strong enough to protect myself and meet certain people. Other than that, I just wanted to live my new life to the best of my ability. Asking me something like where I expect to be once this is all over...I honestly have no fucking idea. I just wanted to live an interesting life without devolving into a piece of shit..."
"..."
Expecting something a little more profound, Rosaria wasn't sure what to make of Paul's answer. It wasn't a bad answer, per se, but it wasn't the type of answer she expected from a man who could command even the so-called Gods to do his bidding...
While returning her dagger to its hidden sheathe, Rosaria squinted her eyes and asked, "One last thing...do you believe people deserve second chances?"
Exhaling a sigh, Paul crossed his arms before answering, "I believe some people do. It just depends on the situation. If they're not actively seeking redemption and only search for it once shit hits the fan, they deserve the same amount of mercy as their victims..."
Nodding her head, Rosaria muttered, "Well said..." before turning her back and walking away. After taking a few steps, however, she turned back and said, "I'm usually not one for praying, but I will do so in the hopes you live a long and prosperous life, Paul Notos Greyrat..."
"Thank you...?"
Not sure what else to say, Paul just followed Rosaria's departure until she vanished around a corner. He had expected her to ask if he wanted her to accompany him, so her sudden departure left him nearly as disappointed as he was confused...
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After roaming around the other sections of his family's massive Estate for the better part of three hours, Paul returned to his female-infested wing in search of food and companionship. What he didn't expect to encounter was Zhongli walking around with a book on her head, closely followed by more than a dozen young girls.
"Ah, Master Paul, what a pleasant surprise."
Removing the book from her head, Zhongli turned to the group of young girls and said, "We will reconvene in the first floor commons at 2 PM. Run along now."
After responding in the affirmative and bowing towards Paul, the group of girls quickly scurried off like a group of cluttered ducklings. In their haste, one of the younger girls even fell flat on her face. Fortunately, the others immediately helped her up before promptly pulling her along with them...
"..."
Seeing through Paul's thoughts, Zhongli explained, "Lady Ningguang has made a concerted effort to ingrain the image of Master Paul as a kind and benevolent Master who disdains the very thought of slavery. In the minds of these girls, you are the Hero who has spared them a life of misery and inequality. I imagine your appearance has also aided in their impression of you..."
Suppressing a sigh, Paul forced a smile as he asked, "And? Why did you send them running off? It's not as though I requested your assistance for anything..."
Impervious to Paul's standoffishness, Zhongli's expression retained a hint of amusement as she explained, "Ningguang asked me to bring you to her if our paths just so happened to cross. Shall we move along?"
Since he was planning to search for Ningguang once he had finished eating, Paul shrugged his shoulders in response to Zhongli's words. He could go a few more hours without eating, so he saw no reason to refuse.
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With Zhongli leading the way, Paul eventually found himself in the corridor outside his former library and study. Ningguang had evidently seized it for herself during his absence.
"She wasn't joking around when she said she would take everything that was mine..."
Amused by Paul's words, a faint yet reverberating chuckle emanated from Zhongli's throat as she pulled open the door without knocking. Ningguang had sensed them approaching thanks to her affiliation with the element of Geo, so she was already waiting patiently at her desk for their arrival.
Entering the room at Zhongli's behest, Paul's face immediately scrunched as a nostalgic yet severely out-of-place aroma tickled his nose.
"Have you been smoking weed...?"
Assuming weed was a colloquial term for processed hemp back in Paul's original world, Ningguang nodded her head before calmly answering, "Not enough to affect my mental state or cause harm to my body. I can stop if it displeases you, but as there are no laws against it, I would appreciate it if you allowed me to continue."
Though he shook his head in exasperation, Paul didn't say anything else regarding Ningguang's smoking habit. Instead, he just made his way over to one of the sofas in the room, sitting down before asking, "You wanted to see me?"
Seeing Paul make himself comfortable on the sofa rather than in the seat across from her, Ningguang was briefly reminded of her conversation with Jean. Paul didn't seem to be aware of it, but he had unconsciously placed himself into the 'superior' position by sitting further away and forcing her to come to him. Had he sat in the chair she had prepared, it would be the same as saying she was in charge. Instead, he made himself comfortable in a situation where others would have felt tense...
Rising from her seat, Ningguang made her way over to Paul before sitting at his side. She could have sat across from him, but she had already made her bed and intended to lay in it, asking, "What are Master Paul's thoughts on children...?"
"..."
Though he had expected Ningguang to broach the subject at some point, Paul hadn't expected it to be now. Fortunately, he had already rehearsed a response, answering, "They're adorable poop factories that can coo like an angel and scream like a banshee. More importantly, they're something only fully grown adults should concern themselves with..."
Instead of immediately refuting Paul's words, Ningguang nodded as if to agree with him. She actually wasn't all that fond of children, so she would prefer to adopt if it wasn't necessary to produce a legitimate heir.
Having rehearsed a response of her own, Ningguang remained silent for a few moments before stating, "Regardless of our views on the matter, this world will view us as young adults once you reach ten years of age. While I am okay with waiting a few years, our actions will be severely restricted until we produce an heir. It is one of the requirements for the Lordship, so, unless you've changed your mind about traveling, we will need to produce at least two children before you can venture out..."
Inhaling a deep breath, Paul allowed the tensions in his body to drain as he sank into the sofa. He had already considered everything Ningguang was currently mentioning. Before he gained access to the Intersection of Fate, he even anticipated being forced to marry and produce an heir. His situation had changed rather drastically since then, but it hadn't affected his 'duty' in the slightest.
"And if I just wanted to throw everything away and flee to the other side of the world...?"
Adopting a faint yet sincere smile, Ningguang rested her head on Paul's shoulder as she answered, "We would come with you and do everything in our power to ensure you're able to live the life you desire..."
Though he had half-expected Ningguang to say something along the lines of, "Sounds like fun," Paul wasn't surprised by her words. Zhongli had said something similar more times than he could count, so it wasn't strange to hear Ningguang express her 'support' for any decision he made. The hard part was actually making one...
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