So, I've made a baffling discovery. Apparently, dying didn't automatically mean that you'd stay dead. Case and point, I was currently sunbathing on the roof of the orphanage that I've had the displeasure of residing in for the past five years.
Yes, I have been reincarnated. In Konohagakure, the village hidden in the leaves, otherwise known as the village of Naruto, who is the main character of an anime with the same name. I had watched it once with one of my ex-boyfriends and I found it, eh, decent - neither good nor bad, to be honest. I have long since forgotten what happened there, well, except for a few main events of course. Like the Kyuubi Attack for example. Or the Uchiha Massacre that has yet to take place. But even if I know of all of this, I won't bother interfering. After dying as I did, I've decided to live life to its fullest and experience things as they come. Besides, this place is literally heaven for one such as me, if you can ignore all the killing and violence. Have you seen those Shinobi? Their strong arms, powerful legs, and well-built, muscular bodies? It's been hard not to constantly drool at the mere sight of them. I can't wait to reach the age of consent - which is 16, by the way. Which means that I have to wait for over a decade before I get to see some action. Oh, woe is me, how am I supposed to survive this! It's like putting a juicy, premium wagyu beef steak in front of a starving man, only to tell him that he wasn't allowed to touch it.
"So this is where you were hiding, you filthy cat demon!" An all too familiar voice came from somewhere below me. Aww c'mon, lady, at least try to hide your hostility. On that note, I have been born with cat-like features, hence the nickname. And no, I do not get cat ears or a tail. Though I do have retractable claws, a mouth filled with feline teeth, and a cat tongue – the creepy-looking one with barbs on it, I sure hope my future boyfriend has a masochistic streak otherwise I will never be able to give him a blowjob - as well as cat eyes that were of a beautiful icy blue. I also inherited cat-typical behavior, like, loving to sleep for most of the day, or having a natural dislike for water – though I managed to work that one out, I'm back to normal now - or extreme control over my body and supreme agility. I do land on my feet, always.
"Get your ass inside and clean the kitchen!" She demands from me. Yeah, right, you and the other kids make a mess during lunch and I, who, by the way, didn't get anything to eat, am supposed to clean up after you? Dream on. I roll my eyes and ignore her. Yes, I may have learned a lesson or two from my untimely demise, but some people are just screaming to be ignored.
"Are you deaf?! I told you to-"
"Shut it, will ya? Yer screeching is grating on my poor ears," I grumble in annoyance. Cat ears hear better than human ones. Just so you know.
"You disrespectful piece of shit! How dare you-"
"You ain't worth respecting, ya old hag. You starve and abuse kids on a daily basis, yet you demand respect from those very children? Are you kidding me or are you just that stupid?" I interrupt her once again. This time she stays quiet. Oh? What evil plan is she cooking up in that vile noggin of hers now?
"Leave," I hear her say in a low voice, making me almost miss it.
"Huh?"
"I said, leave! Just go and die in a ditch somewhere like the mangy cat you are! You should be grateful to have had a roof over your head and clothes to put on your back, not to mention the food! Yet here you are acting like you know all about life, you arrogant little bastard! But that's fine, act however you want. Because at the end of the day, nobody wants you, and no one ever will. And I most certainly don't want a filthy fleabag like you stinking up this place any longer. So get the fuck out!"
Did I just get evicted? Ah, I guess I'm now a homeless little kitty. Whatever shall I do. But joke's on you, crazy lady, I ain't your normal brat, y'know. There's an adult residing in this tiny body, and he knows how to help himself. If he wants to. But just getting myself out of this situation wouldn't be enough, no, I have to drag her down and see to it that she gets punished. She better start washing her neck.
Not even five minutes later, I am gone from the orphanage and on my way to the Hokage tower. If anybody has the necessary power to punish that hag, it would be the old man with the pipe. Upon arriving at my destination, I walk up to the front desk and address the lady sitting there.
"Excuse me?" She looks at me with one eyebrow raised. Never seen a kid before?
"What can I do for you, child?" She asks.
"If possible, I would like to talk to the Hokage," I tell her.
"Hokage-sama is a very busy man, so unless you have a decent reason to take up his time, you won't be able to meet him."
"It's about the abuse happening in the orphanage that I used to live in."
"Abuse?" Her eyes narrow dangerously. Oya? Did I manage to get your attention? " What kind of abuse are we talking about?"
"Oh, starving children, beating them, torturing them, insulting them, forcing them to sleep outside on the ground, naked, no matter the weather or season, locking them up inside a cramped, little, windowless, wooden shack as punishment - the usual," Let me tell you, this got the lady pissed, like, absolutely furious. But she quickly calms down and gives me a sad smile.
"Don't worry, I'm very sure that Hokage-sama would be willing to talk to you. Right, forgive my manners, I'm Nakamura Yumiko. What's your name?"
"My name is Shizuya."
"Alright, Shizuya, I'll go and quickly inform Hokage-sama of your arrival, so please wait for a little while. Okay?"
I just nod in agreement and watch her leave. Moments later, she sticks her head out from behind the door and motions for me to come to her. She puts a hand on my shoulder and guides me inside the office. There, in all his head honcho glory, sat the old man that would surely help me with my revenge. He puts his pipe down and looks me straight in the eye. Ah, I gotta be careful. Don't act suspicious, Shizuya, be the child that you're supposed to be.
"Hello there, little Shizuya. Yumiko informed me that you have something important to tell me about?" The old man asks me with a grandfatherly smile.
"Yes, Hokage-sama..." And so I tell him about all the terrible things that happened during the five years I had to live there. I also don't forget to mention the faceless Shinobi that would occasionally come and take children away – courtesy of one Shimura Danzo, I at least remember this much from the anime - and how those children would never be seen again afterward.
"I see... Do you have anything that could prove your claims?" He asks me. Are shitting me, old man? You're asking a five - almost six-year-old kid for evidence? I'm not a police detective. Well, let's just hope he'll accept my body as proof. And no, I don't mean it that way. Get your filthy mind out of the gutter, degenerate!
"I don't know if that counts, but take a look," I tell him before lifting my shirt up, showing him what's hidden underneath. I was severely malnourished, with my ribs clearly visible and sticking out against my pale skin. There are bruises of various sizes and coloration, and also a plethora of scars, big and small. Should I have gone to the Hokage sooner? Probably. But since I'm lazy by nature and wasn't too bothered by my injuries - I mean, getting punched or cut or stabbed does hurt, sure, but it's nowhere near as painful as the torture I had suffered through on that mountain in my previous life, so I didn't really care. I think that my perception of pain has changed way too much to still be considered within the norm. Anyway, back to my current situation. The Hokage gets up and comes closer to inspect the state I am in. He didn't touch me even once - thank goodness - but he did circle me a couple of times to stare at me from different angles. That was... uncomfortable, to say the least. Eventually, he stops and makes a gesture with his hand. Within less than a second, a mask-wearing Shinobi appears kneeling before him.
"Saru, go to the orphanage that Shizuya has been talking about and apprehend the woman in charge of it. I want you to interrogate her and report your findings to me. Dismissed," he orders the Shinobi, who only gives a curt nod before disappearing. The old man then turns his attention back towards me.
"Little Shizuya, could you tell me how old you are?"
"Five, soon to be six," I tell him.
"Then, would you like to try and become a Shinobi?" I stare at him silently with my eyebrows raised. I blink a couple of times. Children like me are allowed to become Shinobi? I mean, Sakura comes from a civilian family, but she at least has a family, and people probably know her parents. I can't believe he would let an unknown factor like me enter this village's shinobi force.
"Your background doesn't matter when it comes to enrolling at the academy. Anybody can give it a try. But you have to work hard and be diligent if want to pass and end up on a Genin team instead of the Genin reserves. So, what do you say?" Did the old man just read my thoughts? Damn, he's creepy as heck.
"You are quite expressive, little Shizuya. It's rather easy to guess what you're thinking," the Hokage laughs at me. I sigh. Let's not waste any more energy on this than is necessary. I wanna go back to chilling on the roof, so I cut straight to the chase.
"Whatever. Fine, I'll try this Shinobi thing. It's not like I've got anything better to do. On a side note, since I'm now practically homeless, could you provide me with a place to stay?"
"Hmmm, since you're going to enter the academy soon enough, I may as well give you your apartment now. You will also get a small stipend to live off of. But you better be mindful of your spendings, it's only meant to cover your basic living expenses, after all," he tells me. Did I just get an entire apartment to myself? I don't have to share it with anybody? And I can eat whatever and whenever? Oh, this is glorious! Finally, I'm independent once more! My thoughts are interrupted by the Hokage's laugh.
"You seem to like that idea, huh. Well, when you leave, go to Yumiko and ask her for an apartment as well as an application form for the academy. You will have to fill out some paperwork, but after that, you can immediately go and move into your new place. Ah, are you able to read or write?"
"Yes to both, though there may be some of the more difficult words that cannot yet understand," I answer truthfully.
"That'll be no problem. You can ask Yumiko if there's something you don't understand," he chuckles. "Anyway, thank you for coming to me and informing me of the problems at the orphanage. I hope you have a nice rest of the day, I'll see you at the academy," he bids me farewell, and I return it to him before leaving the office. What followed were almost two dreadful hours of filling out all of the necessary paperwork for my new apartment and my academy application. I sincerely hope that I'll never have to deal with shit like that ever again.
Anywho, the apartment is quite small. It consists of a bathroom and the main room with a kitchen corner, a small eating space, and a bed. Surprisingly, this place has a balcony, however tiny it may be. And as luck would have it, my apartment is on the highest floor, which means that I can climb up on the roof whenever I want. That's just plain awesome! I couldn't wait to start cooking for myself again! And I don't have to share anything with anybody! Still, I'm quite curious about the academy. I wonder what the main cast of the anime is like in reality. Oh dear, please let Naruto be a more subdued version of his anime-self. And his voice - if it's just as horribly annoying as I remember it to be, I'm going to commit suicide! One can hope, right? We shall see.