บท 48: Feng Ning’s Decision
In the small hut beside Feng Ning's.
Lin Zi Xuan listened to the report given by his men and felt pleased when he heard that Imperial Doctor Wu actually tried to persuade Feng Ning. He decided that he would increase the wage of Imperial Doctor when Prime Minister Yan come back the next time.
As for now… he just had to be patience.
He knew that it wouldn't be easy for him to convince Feng Ning that he truly meant his words, so he would just show it slowly to her.
He had a lot of time anyway.
Even if there were a lot of work to do, he could still do it within the allocated time that he had.
There was only some little trouble with the security since he kept on tossing back and forth from the palace. But this little risk was nothing for someone like him who had been on the battlefield for so many years.
Thus, time passed quietly.
Lin Zi Xuan spent half the week staying in the small hut and helped Feng Ning to take care of her garden. He carried the heavy items so that she didn't need to carry them with her small body.
At first, Feng Ning felt troubled.
But after some time, she just let him helped her with carrying them. Those things were indeed heavy and she didn't want to hurt her back by forcefully carrying them either.
When Lin Zi Xuan was back at the palace, Feng Ning spent some time at the days to think about the words her Master told her.
Return to the palace?
Return to the live she had before?
Feng Ning had never thought of returning to that life when she decided to come to this small village back then.
But seeing Lin Zi Xuan coming here, it would be a lie if she said that her heart didn't waver.
She had heard that the Emperor was busy looking for the Empress for a long time. And honestly, at first, she thought that he wanted to search for her in order to kill her. That was why she had decided not to be polite in front of him again.
Yet, he didn't.
Instead, he apologized and accompanied her, helping her to take care of the garden and her life here.
He didn't force her to return either.
This made Feng Ning felt a bit at loss.
'Should I come back?'
The two of them were married anyway and there was really nothing wrong with her coming back to the palace.
Marriage.
Whenever Feng Ning thought of that word, she was reminded of what her father in her previous life told her about it. When she was a kid, she asked him why he married her mother and he laughed at her.
He said that he loved her mother.
And when Feng Ning asked which part, her father said everything.
Feng Ning could remember she listed some of her mother's bad habit and her father merely laughed at that.
"Loving someone is not about liking their good parts but also the bad parts. Love is about accepting everything about your partner, be it good or bad."
"As for marriage, it's a contract, vow, and also commitment."
Contract that bind the two of them.
Vow towards the other party that they would never leave them be in good or bad, be in sick or health, rich or poor, or whatever condition they were in.
Commitment that they would uphold their words until the end of their time.
The young Feng Ning didn't understand.
But her father told her that when she grew up and found someone she fancied and then marry, she would understand.
'Do I like Lin Zi Xuan?'
Feng Ning sat on the chair, looking towards the empty small hut beside hers. She never actually thought about it because she only thought of using him when she first approached him. After all, his gaze reminded her of that person.
A person who slaughtered his way up to the top in the modern world.
That person was her elementary school classmate, but she never talked much with him since she was a quiet and reserved girl. But back then, she took notice of him because of his gaze.
Gaze that was filled with hatred, determination, and something unexplainable.
When her world fell apart and she had to live in that small place, she once watched the television and saw him again.
He was no longer the poor kid from back then.
Instead, he had destroyed his stepmother and father's reputation and stepped on them to become the most powerful person.
Feng Ning could remember she laughed bitterly at herself.
Who would have thought that her elementary school classmate would end up to become one of the most powerful people in the country? But she didn't even have his contact information anymore after so many years had passed.
She ignored the news.
And when she came to this world, she realized that Lin Zi Xuan had the same kind of gaze as what she saw in that boy. So, she decided to take the gamble with her own life and tried to bind herself to him.
Her only wish back then was for her to survive.
But did she ever hope for more from him?
She always protected her heart in fear that she'll get hurt. Even though she was close to many people, she never dared to let them truly entered her heart.
She didn't want to lose anyone again.
But caring and loving someone meant she'll open her heart, putting herself at risk once more
"Love is two ways. Only having one side will break it apart as the weight is more than what could be accepted."
That was what her mother in her previous life told her.
Feng Ning closed her eyes.
She missed her parents and her naughty little sister. The four of them were only ordinary people, but everyday has always been very fulfilling and fun. At the very least, they cared for each other.
Even when she felt annoyed by her father because of his nagging, she would worry when something happened to him.
It was because she cared for him.
How about Lin Zi Xuan?
What did her heart say about him?
"Ning'er?"
Hearing that voice, Feng Ning slowly opened her eyes. She could see Lin Zi Xuan stood not far from her, walking towards her.
Since he stayed in the hut, he naturally changed his attire to that of commoner clothes. Yet the clothes didn't make him look bad. On the contrary, he still looked as handsome as he always be.
Why did she cry when she heard his words back then?
It's because she had hoped more from him.
Probably, without her knowing, after staying with him, she had grown to care for his existence and what he thought of her. It was because she cared that she felt hurt when he admitted that he planned to kill her.
"Zi Xuan."
Lin ZI Xuan's eyes flickered when he heard his wife called his name directly. Her voice was still a bit hoarse and low, but it was no longer as bad as when he first heard her spoke back then.
She's improving.
Bit by bit.
Just like a child who had started to learn how to speak, she had also started to learn how to speak each words and train her vocal cord.
The last time Feng Ning called him was when she was just a young girl.
At that time, she called him as her cousin.
But this time, she called him directly with his name. Lin Zi Xuan didn't know what kind of feeling he had, but he felt that his heart fluttered just from hearing Feng Ning called him with his name directly.
"Yes, Ning'er."
Ning'er.
When he first called her with endearment, Feng Ning felt strange. But hearing it now, she felt that she liked it.
She smiled faintly. "Go back."
"Yes?"
"Let's… go back… to the palace."
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