บท 447: [84.3] Moni POV: The Eldest's Duty

****Disclaimer: This chapter contains suicidal ideation that may make some readers uncomfortable.

[Author's note: This part of the chapter is from Moni's perspective.]

I want to die.

"My darling pup."

I want to die.

"HOW COULD YOU BETRAY YOUR OWN KIND!?"

I want to die.

"That's a good boy. Eat up."

I want to die.

"You're just a coward who let your siblings die."

I want to die.

"Asmonious…"

My eyes trembled, "...Master?"

The image of blood pouring from a wound in her abdomen as a bright red streak leaked from her mouth resurfaced.

"-Be the same compassionate boy you were always like with me."

I sat up in a panic, "MASTER!"

An indescribable pain erupted from my chest, burning my skin. I sucked in a breath and looked down at the wound.

It was no longer bleeding, but it wasn't healed either. The wound was open and created a depth from which something part of me, yet also not, tried to escape.

As I stared at it, memories came flooding back.

I watched over and over the quivering of my master's mouth as blood poured out.

The earth shattered and the world around me became a blur. My throat was ripped apart as I screamed. My nails clawed at my face desperate to forcibly remove the memory from my head.

Master…

Why did you die…

It should have only been me…

Just me.

Not you.

No matter how hard I cried, I never felt better.

It felt like my whole world ended.

Nothing could fix what had been done and nothing could bring her back.

Even when the tears dried up and my stomach ached from the force, I still couldn't stop.

Master…

Please…

If I have to live….

Don't let it be without you.

-take care of your siblings-

My eyes shot open.

With Master gone, who is taking care of my sisters and Zephyr!?

I closed my eyes and in the endless darkness, hundreds of orange eyes opened up.

I searched everywhere.

Every shadow.

But finding someone in a large world wasn't so simple.

I first checked the Macabre Forest and opened my eyes in the shadow of the Medical Matriarch. However, I was surprised to see her in bed looking sick.

"...Matriarch?"

Her eyes opened weakly as she gave a faint smile, "What a relief. I haven't heard from you in so long, I was worried you died."

She was worried?

I doubt it.

Her people only ever tolerated me because Master forced them to.

I ignored this and asked, "I'm looking for my siblings. Are they here?"

She made a guilty expression, "All that time ago… I wanted to let them in… But I was weak. Bale and I…. There was nothing we could do."

My smile twitched, "Where are they?"

"Ah… Last I heard, Rose created a troupe to hide them under the disguise of a traveling performer. She's quite popular on the other side of the mountain."

She…

She returned to that life?

Why?

"Moni… You've been gone for a while."

"I have?"

All I remember is going unconscious after cursing Alora…

How I woke up in an unknown place and how long it's been, I have no idea.

She spoke in a soft voice, "Nearly a hundred years…"

My heart sank to unimaginable depths.

"Don't worry. Rose is more capable at protecting them than you would think."

I grit my teeth, "But that's not her duty."

It's mine.

I disappeared into the shadows.

She gave one last week smile, "Great Fairy… My friend… It's such a relief to see your precious disciple is still alive. I just hope… He stays true to your principles."

With one last breath, the Medical Matriarch finally succumbed to the poison in her veins.