บท 122: 122 -=Darkening Lotus=-
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A/N: Read 10 chapters ahead in my P a T r E o N
www.p-atreon.com/joao132135
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Walking around Konoha, a weird smile was present on Lee's face
feeling quite away from everyone around him, even more now that he can actually use chakra
It's a horrible feeling, because be it conscious or not, people look down on him
be it who know hr couldn't use chakra, or because of his weird clothes, they do give him a stinky eye
what's the reason? some of those people are not even ninjas, compared to him they are NOTHING... but they still look down on him
He keeps trying and trying to be like his Sensei, but it seems that that's not good enough for them
not even for his sensei as well, because when Lee talked about his insecurities with Guy, he gave him a disappointed look and told him to not let this affect him
what does he even know? he keeps spewing bullshit about effort being the right way, but has it ever been actually?
Lee was so in front of those so-called geniuses a year ago, but he saw Naruto and Sasuke training recently, it was not even a third of the difficulty of his most basic training regimen, but they quickly surpassed him
talent is just... unfair
but he got another choice... there was one person who gave him another path to follow... another way...
he just needs to follow it... to be respected, to have everything he trained so hard for...
What is the right choice? should he go? should he stay? does someone even care about that?
doubts filled his mind
(A/N: Should I stay or should I go?)
Does he have anyone here?
Family? none as far as I know
Sensei? that liar that said hard work can surpass talent when it clearly can't?
Friends? who? His team? they barely talk with him
(A/N: If it's not clear yet, Lee's pov is mixed with the narrator, also, team 9 barely talks with Lee, cause he is too busy training)
It's like something inside of him told him that they all wouldn't care about him
if he went away today... how many of them would search for him? maybe Guy... Neji and Tenten as well because they are part of his team, but besides them? no one, not even a single soul would care
Is he really THAT useless?
There is a way to know, actually...
disappear. Easy, see if they go after him, see if they care
and so he did... and to his surprise... no one cared
yes, not even his team and his Sensei who was 'Oh so close' to him... no one...
no one... no one... no one...
those words repeated inside his mind as he looked blankly at nothing in front of him
They must be occupied, he thought
they must have something important to do, he tried to convince himself, but it all went away when he saw team 9 just passing by where he was hidden at
they walked laughing and talking, seemingly not even missing his presence
that was a big blow to his mind...
He couldn't know that this team 9 was just some clones of Rimuru
he couldn't know his actual team was on an important mission
but even if he knew, he would be mad because they went without him
his emotions got a bit extreme since Rimuru made him a sentinel, he was more aggressive, but only to those not related to Rimuru
that's why he felt weird seeing Sasuke once, because he felt calm close to him
at the time he didn't know what it was... he thought it was something weird Kaede once said when he asked her out, but he quickly got rid of that idea and went on his way
-=-
Lee exited the village during that night, he didn't go quickly though
maybe a strand of hope that someone would go after him... they would for sure, right?
Apparently not
he was so sure that if it was Mr brood or any other clan heir instead of him, they would go desperately after, but him? not so much
why? why does no one care? why does everyone act like he doesn't exist?
WHY?
*Rustle*
The rustling sound of a bush close to him surprised him, believing someone went on to search for him he was ecstatic
but... reality is often disappointing
instead of someone from the village that was supposedly one big family, as the Hokage loved to say, it was Kaede
by what they talked about her, he knew she wasn't a good person... but... even being outside the village for so long... she still came here, didn't she?
How did she know when he left the village? he didn't care to ask
no one of his friends, so-called big family or friends came after him, but one person did
one single person he swore to pay back because of that
and he could feel it was the same person that talked with him all this time back to when he almost lost his ability to fight
he didn't know how, he blamed it on chakra, as he wasn't sure how it was supposed to feel
Kaede extended him a hand, both physically and metaphorically... and he accepted
out of sheer lack of choices, his mind was at its weakest, he was so affected he didn't even talk when Kaede turned into a blue-haired man
it was weird to see him, but he could feel it was the person from before, he blamed it on chakra once again, maybe that transformation thingy he could never tell apart from reality, even it being supposedly easy to see through
He looked back at the brightly lit village one last time, and Rimuru put a hand on his shoulder as he said
"People like us, don't deserve to live in the light like them
we live in the shadows, for we are not the same as them
they look down on us, but we are actually better than them, don't you think?"
Lee's eyes kept glued to Konoha, maybe still hoping that he would see Guy or someone run after him from the distance, but nothing happened
he heard Rimuru's words and they resonated within himself
...they look down on us, but we are better than them...
...
He repeated the phrase in his mind over and over again... his mind quickly going into dark thoughts as he and Rimuru walked away from Konoha, into the dark forest as he quickly was unable to see the light
from here on out there is only darkness... nothing more, nothing less
just... darkness...
Ever consuming, all-encompassing...
Darkness
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