บท 10: Let's Do It
Breakfast was a lonely affair. Mark had to go into the office. Whether it was a real emergency or just an excuse was unknown. I cleaned up the kitchen and the living room before grabbing my purse and heading out the door to talk with Gretal. My mind was made up, and I wanted to get it finalized before I chickened out. I was standing on my own for the first time in years and was terrified that I would not follow through. That was my normal method of operation. Not anymore. I needed to become a strong woman who wasn’t under everyone else’s control.
My speedometer showed me going about thirty miles over the speed limit to get to the travel agency. A part of me was terrified that the chance for a new life was gone. There was no way this could work out in my favor. Nothing yet had ever gone my way. It was madness to think that it would this time.
Pulling into the parking lot, I sat at the wheel and started toward the door into the mall. My breath came heavy. Slowly my head moved side to side. Common sense began to gain control.
“I can’t do this. Why would I ever think that I could do this? I’m not meant for adventure. I’m plain Leigh, a nobody.” My fist connected hard with the steering wheel. “No! I’m not going to give into this. I can’t let the world win. I’ve got to at least try before regulating myself to a life of misery.” Before my mind had me back on the road home, I grabbed my purse and made my way quickly inside.
Leigh, I’m so glad that you came in today,” Gretal rose up from her desk with a bright smile on her face. I was breathless as I returned Gretal’s kiss on each cheek. My face was flushed. “I didn’t have your number to call and waiting till Monday was going to kill me. Come sit down here and let me tell you what I found out for you.” She quickly ushered me to the leather chair in front her desk before a word could come out of my mouth.
I just followed Gretal’s lead. I was too nervous to say anything. Gretal disappeared only to reappear with a tea tray. It was only when each of us had a cup of tea in our hands did Gretal speak again. My stomach clinched up into a million knots as I waited for it. The news had to be bad. That would solve all problems but my happiness.
“I spoke with my friend yesterday after you left. I just couldn’t wait. The more I thought about it, the more excited I became of what could lie ahead. Found out that he was just about to call me. It seems that the group that has been tossing this idea around had decided that they would not take a chance unless an idea was purposed on how to test it. When I told him about you, he was practically jumping up and down with excitement. He said that he would speak for the whole group when he said to go ahead and do it. It’s a green light for us!” Gretal was practically jumping up and down in her own seat.
All breath left me. It was actually going to happen. My dream was coming true. Gretal was watching my reaction closely.
“I honestly don’t know what to say. I don’t think I believed that they would agree to this.” My head was shaking slowly as the news began to sink in.
“Well, they did. Now, it is up to you and me from now on. All I need to know now is two things. Do you have a passport, and when can you leave?”
The reality of it was sinking in. Fast. I was actually going! “I have a passport from when Mark and I were going to go on a cruise once. I came down with the flu and ruined it all. When to leave...” My mind began to race with everything that had to be done. “I guess I could be ready as early as two weeks. I want to give my job appropriate time. So, anytime after that should do it.”
Gretal sat her tea down and clapped her hands. “This is wonderful. Two weeks will be enough time for me to get things organized. You just plan on letting your job and your family know. I’ll take care of the rest and keep you informed.”
I could not believe it. After giving Gretal all my contact information, it was back home to let Mark know what was happening. There was a lot to do in the next two weeks. Wow! It was really going to happen.
*****
Mark seemed resigned to the fact that it was happening when he heard the news. I waited until we were getting ready for bed. As soon as the words left my mouth, he paused in removing his shirt for a second and then continued as though I didn’t say anything. I watched as he finished his nightly routine and climbed into bed. He turned off the lights and laid down, leaving me sitting up in the dark. I didn’t know what to say or do.
Quietly his voice drifted toward me in the silent night. It was so quiet that I wondered if he really spoke. “I can’t change your mind?”
Quietly, I answered just as softly. “No.”
Mark sighed. His hand gently rested on my back. “I guess then I should wish you luck and let you know that, though you might not believe me, I’ll miss you.” He drew me to him. For the first time in months, Mark made love to me. It was a gentle act that made a tear fall from my eye when it was over and I held him close. Maybe he still loved me after all.
*****
When my notice was turned in at work, there was wailing from my boss and co-workers. They asked if they could persuade me to stay. They offered me more money. They tried to give me a promotion. I was flattered, but nothing was going to change my mind. Word spread quickly through the hospital. Everyone made their way to my station to express regret and offer congratulations. Except for one.
George was nowhere to be seen during those two weeks. He was there at work according to others but he kept his distance. To be completely honest, I was glad. It was one less complication in my life.
There was a lot to do to prepare. Thank goodness, my passport was ready. We never did reschedule that vacation my sickness ruined. Now, the passport can finally be used.
Gretal was getting their itinerary together. All I knew was that out first stop was going to be in Washington, D.C. and a few New England areas. Gretal reassured me there was nothing to worry about anything except basic clothes and any items needed for relaxation. I had no idea what to bring for that. Finally, I decided to pick those up along the way.
I was tempted to buy all new clothes, but a part of me wanted to buy them as we travelled. I did give in to buy a special outfit to wear the day we left. If a new life was before me, I wanted to do it right.
Each day, Gretal called to keep me abreast of what was happening. I felt guilty. It seemed that Gretal was doing all the work. When I suggested as much, Gretal just laughed.
“Leigh, you’ll be doing your part soon and then you’ll be glad you took it easy at the beginning. Relax. Just a few more days.” She went over the departure date and time. I pretty much had it all memorized.
I tried to broach my departure with Mark to see if he would take me to the airport. He was very noncommittal. I was feeling very uneasy and began to question if I was making the right decision. That lasted all of two days when the night before I left we went out to eat with Abigail and Nathan.
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