16รีวิว
4.19
- คุณภาพงานเขียน
- ความเสถียรของการอัปเดต
- การดำเนินเรื่อง
- กาสร้างตัวละคร
- พื้นหลังโลก
แบ่งปันความคิดของคุณกับผู้อื่น
เขียนรีวิว
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Its a good story if only he didn't got cucked by fuvking issei himself! that is just so fuvking dumb! thank god theres a reboot. .. .. ... .. .. .. ... ...
overall good, and i like your idea author. but it all becomes disgusting when your MC is an apathetic and "hater" of people like Rias. I know Rias is lazy and spoiled, but can't mc train her to be strong? Also, each chapter doesn't seem to be connected to each other. Thanks.
The story is interesting even though it's been done a couple of times, the story development is a bit rush to the point that the readers don't really feel that the mc of the story is connected to the story... Anyways, keep improving author 👊👊👊
Nice Love the concept, could be better at quality and updates but making a story is hard and I praise you with this story. :) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I like UBW but not Shiro Emiya himself. So Author Don't make mc hero of justice. That's all I want from the novel. I just want to know if he became devil can use Holy sword after all Holy is devil's weakness. I don't want mc to be devil just curious.
Here's some constructive criticism, and just criticism too, it's not supposed to make you fell good, it's supposed to make you better. Grammar obviously most definitely needs improvement, character interactions are stiff and robotic or overactive and uncharacteristic, basically both points of an npc. But being honest with you it's much better than some noob authors, your on the right track as long as you improve. For the grammar you can shorten the characters or sentences, for an example, a rookie mistake all authors make is 'we are' which can be changed into we're, and 'I am' which can be changed into I'm, Without this the dialogue feels really stiff and awkward, and you should only use 'I am' in most circumstances when the speaking character has a title in front of his name, else it would feel awkward. Character development and character interactions are wack, to say it politely, the characters are all over the place doing weird, stupid, and unintelligent actions, and extremely emotional and reactive dialogues, which is also cringey, annoying, and straight out of a cultivation novels where everybody is emotionally unstable and mentally unwell, an example would be Sanji when he attacked mc because of love (out of nowhere, this attack made no sense for his character), mc when he proceeded to cut off Sanji's arm, etc... On the talk of mc let's get right on that! He has no goals, has no thinking process, his actions are erratic, his character writing is lazy and all over the place. The Mc seems like a ruthless arrogant nothing, hes like air, hes more of an npc than an actual character. If I had one word- no, two words to describe the mc, it would be awkward and cringey. Also still on the topic of mc, the power scaling makes no sense, because of laziness. You cant really invest in a character when there is no character. The plot, story, and world background, there is none, and any marks of interest is squashed because of my points above, the plot and story is deeply involved with the characters, and again if the characters are air, there is no story. Plus, author you didnt really have a story in the first place, there is the plot (albeit, a plot that is uh... I think you can figure it out), but there isnt a story, if there is it's just unfathomable, and not in a good way.
Would give 4 stars but starting on ch 16 it gets worse, along with memories are slowly being erased. It's not a development I've ever been fond of in a fan fic, writing quality is fine story up till ch 16 been decent
This fic has many plot holes, unnecessary drama and a grammar that needs am massive improvement if possible, but will give you 5 starts for concept of your plot even though not unique but it is rare and quite exited to read more chapters 😉
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As an avid fan of the Nasuverse as a whole I'm a sucker for any story that has elements from it and does a good job implementing those elements in a new setting. This novel definately ticks off those boxes and so far has done a good job of keeping my interest! I will definately stick around to see what kind of a journey the author decides to take us on. :)
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it is I the Shameless Author who shall give 5 stars to his own book because why not and why shouldn't you too do the same thing I did.......
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Its a good story if only he didn't got cucked by fuvking issei himself! that is just so fuvking dumb! thank god theres a reboot. .. .. ... .. .. .. ... ...
overall good, and i like your idea author. but it all becomes disgusting when your MC is an apathetic and "hater" of people like Rias. I know Rias is lazy and spoiled, but can't mc train her to be strong? Also, each chapter doesn't seem to be connected to each other. Thanks.
The story is interesting even though it's been done a couple of times, the story development is a bit rush to the point that the readers don't really feel that the mc of the story is connected to the story... Anyways, keep improving author 👊👊👊
Nice Love the concept, could be better at quality and updates but making a story is hard and I praise you with this story. :) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I like UBW but not Shiro Emiya himself. So Author Don't make mc hero of justice. That's all I want from the novel. I just want to know if he became devil can use Holy sword after all Holy is devil's weakness. I don't want mc to be devil just curious.
Here's some constructive criticism, and just criticism too, it's not supposed to make you fell good, it's supposed to make you better. Grammar obviously most definitely needs improvement, character interactions are stiff and robotic or overactive and uncharacteristic, basically both points of an npc. But being honest with you it's much better than some noob authors, your on the right track as long as you improve. For the grammar you can shorten the characters or sentences, for an example, a rookie mistake all authors make is 'we are' which can be changed into we're, and 'I am' which can be changed into I'm, Without this the dialogue feels really stiff and awkward, and you should only use 'I am' in most circumstances when the speaking character has a title in front of his name, else it would feel awkward. Character development and character interactions are wack, to say it politely, the characters are all over the place doing weird, stupid, and unintelligent actions, and extremely emotional and reactive dialogues, which is also cringey, annoying, and straight out of a cultivation novels where everybody is emotionally unstable and mentally unwell, an example would be Sanji when he attacked mc because of love (out of nowhere, this attack made no sense for his character), mc when he proceeded to cut off Sanji's arm, etc... On the talk of mc let's get right on that! He has no goals, has no thinking process, his actions are erratic, his character writing is lazy and all over the place. The Mc seems like a ruthless arrogant nothing, hes like air, hes more of an npc than an actual character. If I had one word- no, two words to describe the mc, it would be awkward and cringey. Also still on the topic of mc, the power scaling makes no sense, because of laziness. You cant really invest in a character when there is no character. The plot, story, and world background, there is none, and any marks of interest is squashed because of my points above, the plot and story is deeply involved with the characters, and again if the characters are air, there is no story. Plus, author you didnt really have a story in the first place, there is the plot (albeit, a plot that is uh... I think you can figure it out), but there isnt a story, if there is it's just unfathomable, and not in a good way.
Would give 4 stars but starting on ch 16 it gets worse, along with memories are slowly being erased. It's not a development I've ever been fond of in a fan fic, writing quality is fine story up till ch 16 been decent
This fic has many plot holes, unnecessary drama and a grammar that needs am massive improvement if possible, but will give you 5 starts for concept of your plot even though not unique but it is rare and quite exited to read more chapters 😉
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As an avid fan of the Nasuverse as a whole I'm a sucker for any story that has elements from it and does a good job implementing those elements in a new setting. This novel definately ticks off those boxes and so far has done a good job of keeping my interest! I will definately stick around to see what kind of a journey the author decides to take us on. :)
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it is I the Shameless Author who shall give 5 stars to his own book because why not and why shouldn't you too do the same thing I did.......
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