บท 13: Chapter 13 - Alone with his thoughts
Ryu had always been one to keep himself busy. When he practiced blacksmithing alongside Haru he hammered away for hours without a break. Even when Haru urged him to rest, Ryu would immerse himself in the library's books, eager to learn. He rarely allowed himself any free time, preferring to avoid being alone with his thoughts, which he found uncomfortable. However, after setting out on his own, these solitary moments had become downright terrifying.
In the aftermath of a recent battle, Ryu found it increasingly difficult to keep his thoughts at bay. As he trained his Jutsu, it became more of an automatic act, no longer serving as a distraction from his racing thoughts.
Ryu's mind was preoccupied with his ambition, his quest for revenge, and doubts about whether he could achieve his goal. He thought of his father, enslaved while Ryu himself walked free. Most recently, his thoughts lingered on the battles he had faced.
Although the skirmishes were small, each one left a mark on him, especially the most recent one. Ryu had never wanted to become a killer, and the thought of the family and friends of the Shinobi he had killed weighed heavily on him, as he knew firsthand the pain that loss could bring.
It was then that Ryu suddenly froze as a realization struck him. He had been so distracted since the last fight that he hadn't noticed a crucial fact: not only had he killed the Shinobi when he lost control of his Jutsu, but he had also taken the lives of innocent civilians. These were the same people who had worried about him, cared for him, and offered their help without hesitation.
Ryu's legs gave out, and he fell to his knees, overwhelmed by grief and self-disgust. "Why am I only thinking of them now?! Did I really forget about them just like that? They didn't even cross my mind!".
As Ryu reflected on his goal, he couldn't help but question if the cost was worth it. Despite the lives he had taken, he was resolute in his desire to free his father and avenge his mother at any cost, even if it meant sacrificing innocent lives along the way. He knew that he was prepared to die and take others with him if it brought him closer to completing his mission.
He recognized the hypocrisy in his actions. By seeking revenge, Ryu would inadvertently create a cycle of vengeance, with countless others set on retaliatory quests against him. His enemies were parents too, and their innocent children would suffer the same pain he had experienced. He was inflicting the same agony he sought to avenge, and he was aware of it.
Ryu understood that he was no longer the good guy, and he hadn't been for some time. He grappled with the idea of whether he had become evil or crossed a line from which there was no return. However, acknowledging and accepting his actions were two different things. Ryu struggled to come to terms with the true implications of his journey.
He still viewed his cause as righteous and his revenge justified, otherwise, he wouldn't be on this path. But deep down, he knew that his actions were objectively wrong and would create even more suffering. His quest for revenge was, at its core, a selfish pursuit that would bring destruction.
Ryu wished he could ignore the complexity of the moral dilemma he faced. He knew it would take time to arrive at a conclusive answer. Questions swirled in his mind: What is the value of human life? Can it be quantified? How does its value compare to the value of his personal revenge? More importantly, when would the misery he inflicted outweigh his need for vengeance? Would it ever? These questions remained unanswered.
For the time being, Ryu decided to focus on what he knew best. Delving into philosophical questions was not a priority for him at the moment. However, his brief contemplation of these complex issues made him apprehensive about the day he would have to confront them more seriously.
Despite his inner turmoil and disgust with his actions, Ryu's determination to exact revenge remained strong. He chose to silently mourn the lives lost and continue on his path. Once his goal was achieved, he promised himself that he would find a way to atone for his sins. Until then, nothing would stand in his way, as stopping now would only dishonor those who had died for his cause.
Yet, Ryu couldn't shake the lingering doubts that plagued him. He was particularly concerned about whether he would safely reach the Leaf Village. Although he had managed to evade the ninjas and even eliminate a few Jonin, he knew it was only a matter of time before the elite Anbu became involved—if they hadn't already.
Ryu was under no illusions about the situation. He recognized that his Jutsu was incredibly powerful, but he was also aware of his vulnerability to surprise attacks. So far, he had been able to use his abilities to alter the environment and fight effectively. However, the Anbu would not afford him such an opportunity. If they discovered his whereabouts, they would strike swiftly and without hesitation, eliminating him before he could react. They posed the most significant threat to his mission.
'I need to be even more cautious now. I can evade them by transforming myself and the environment, but if they catch me off guard, it's over,' Ryu thought to himself.
In the meantime, his top priority was to find a doctor or master the art of permanent effect modification. The threat of the Anbu could wait, at least for now. But where would he find a clinic in the middle of the forest? The thought brought on a headache as Ryu pondered his next move.
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As dusk settled, Ryu made his way toward a nearby hill. He intended to use the Transformation Jutsu once more to create a hollow cave for shelter. However, when he cast the Jutsu, instead of forming a simple cave, a pathway emerged through the stone, leading to a hollowed-out area within the hill. What he found inside was entirely unexpected.
'You've got to be kidding me,' Ryu thought, struggling to comprehend the scene before him. Within the cavernous space stood a large, four-story wooden building. 'This is in the middle of the forest, right? What is this place?' Ryu stared at the structure, his face a mix of confusion and curiosity.
"Guess I might as well find out," Ryu mumbled to himself as he approached the building's entrance.
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This chapter was a little heavy, but I think that after killing those innocent civilians Ryu would indeed question his own actions. For now, this is his conclusion. He won't stop at anything to achieve his revenge. But now let's move onto a lighter tone:
ALRIGHT! So I finally have my only normal holiday vacation! It'll last until next Sunday and I thought of a little challenge. Now that I can finally fully focus on writing after unloading all the stress, I can try to upload daily chapters until Sunday. However, I'm also curious as to how high this novel can climb the ranking in one week. So here's my proposal. I'll try my best to upload daily chapters, and you guys give me some power stones and whatnot. Even if you don't want to I'll still upload a lot this next week so don't worry! All in favor comment "Aye"!!!
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