บท 45: Weird Threat, But Okay.
With everyone turning their attention back on track, they don't make it very far into the list before Jonathan speaks up with a confused voice.
"Wait... Alliance of Salvation? What... What kind of supervillain team name is that?" While he does a double-take and asks this out loud, he furrows his brows to the point they're practically touching. On the other hand, Lucas bursts out laughing.
"Right!? I had the same thought when I first saw 'em, so I looked 'em up. Turns out they're mainly a drug cartel, specializin' in some seriously heavy stuff. Like, whatever that dude that was harassing you this morning was on type shit. So yeah, the name weirdly makes sense in context. I'm pretty sure that if their HQ burned down, they'd probably get the entire country high. ...And give everyone cancer or some shit too." As Lucas gives this explanation, Jonathan's look of confusion clears up pretty quickly. Jonathan even chuckles a bit at the end with the mentioning of the possible scenario of their HQ burning down.
Scrolling through a few more names with other random bits of running commentary, Lucas stops to tap the screen on one organization name in particular.
"This is one I'm glad isn't nearby. Here's hoping we can steer clear of them for, uhh, forever. I heard from, er, someone, when I started getting into all of this that Sphinxoath and Thunderia are two ladies we shouldn't cross. Only learned that their org is named Authority of Mystery just recently though." As Lucas finishes saying this, Jonathan has a slightly vacant expression for a few moments, then a brief flash of surprise crosses his face that is thankfully unnoticed by the not-system-related dog. Once he is brought up to speed by 011, he nods vigorously a few times.
As Lucas starts scrolling again, he realizes he left a fingerprint on the screen of the laptop when he touched it. Frowning slightly, he tries to gently wipe it off with the edge of his pajama shirt, only managing to smear it around a bit and make it cover a larger area.
While Lucas glowers at the enhanced smudge, he pauses for a moment before going to try again with a bit more force, getting cut off by a laughing Jonathan.
"I'll do it, I'll do it. You're gonna break it if you keep going." After Jonathan successfully intercepts Lucas before he manages to crush the poor little laptop display, he gently pats the dog on his lap a few times. "Lemme get up for a minute."
Once the dog shifts his position off to the side, giving a soft bark while doing so, Jonathan goes to get a clean soft washcloth out of the linen closet before heading into the bathroom on a quest for any appropriate cleaning products potentially inside the vanity.
Not long after he disappeared out of sight into the bathroom, there is a brief startled gasp followed by the flow of running water. After a short while, there are finally the expected sounds of Jonathan rummaging around in the cabinet under the sink in pursuit of an electronics cleaner.
Once he finally comes back to the patched-up sofa, Jonathan is now wielding the previously acquired soft washcloth with a lightly dampened corner. His face is also a touch damp, he had clearly stopped to wash his face as soon as he saw his reflection.
As he wipes at the recently made smudge, he ends up leaving a distinct clean spot compared to the rest of the screen, so he ends up wiping down the whole thing. Afterward, he dries it off with the other side of the cloth. Now that he's on a cleaning spree, he goes over and wipes down the TV too while he's at it, getting a small laugh from Lucas.
While Jonathan's gaze wanders for a moment, as if looking for his next target, Lucas clears his throat and pulls his attention back to the task at hand. Jonathan is visibly startled for a moment, shyly chuckles, then tosses the used cloth into the washing machine from a moderate distance. The decidedly NOT aerodynamic bit of fabric lands neatly inside the opening, immediately displaying his superior accuracy in ranged attacks compared to Lucas.
427 can't resist giving Lucas a taunting laugh.
'Hey! Hey! Don't laugh at me when I didn't even do anything!'
[The best part is, you know exactly why I'm laughing, without any explanation.]
'HEY!'
This accomplishes absolutely nothing in regards to reducing 427's laughter. If anything, it encourages him further. As Lucas struggles to maintain a neutral facial expression, Jonathan comes back to sit down again.
Once Jonathan has reclaimed his position on the sofa, he gains a dog-shaped lap ornament in a timely fashion. The pup snuggles up against his chest for a moment before turning and facing the now-clean laptop, getting a pair of arms wrapped around him and a gentle cuddle in response.
Now Lucas is not only being annoyed by 427 continuing to mock him, but he's also jealous of the quality doggo affection happening right next to him, without his direct involvement. This is clearly an act of betrayal from the two parties involved.
While Lucas struggles to not expose his frustrations, he clears his throat once again.
"Well, you good to keep looking some more? Or maybe you've thought of something we can work with?" As Lucas genuinely tries to get back to the task at hand, which is almost a guilty admission on its own, he gets a nod from Jonathan and one bark from the pupper.
"Let's look at some more, we're not even out of the A's yet." Once Jonathan has said this, Lucas gives a nod of his own and then continues scrolling.
As they continue on for some time they alternately have various quips about the displayed names. One such example would be Lucas asking "Company of Evil Masters? Isn't that pretty much every company ever?" Which was answered purely with laughter.
When they've gotten most of the way through the C's section, Jonathan stops Lucas when he starts wondering out loud.
"Wait... Cursed Chaos Network? Why... Why does that sound familiar?" As Jonathan is lost in thought, Lucas gently bonks the top of his head with his left fist.
"That's the news station we were just watching not too long ago, sheesh. Waitaminute, shouldn't I be worried about getting the news from villains?" As Lucas answers, he then falls into his own musing state.
"Um, isn't pretty much everything run by villains though?" When Jonathan asks this with a tentative voice, the two of them end up lost in thought for a minute.
[To be fair, in the time you've spent watching their station while I'm around, they haven't really lied about anything as far as I'm aware. I'm sure they have their own fair share of propaganda whenever they're so inclined though.]
'Eh... I guess an unbiased news source would be pretty unlikely anyway... Doubly so in this world.'
[Oh?]
'Uhh, national politics were heavily tangled up with the majority of news sources where I came from. I sorta assumed supervillains would have their own vendettas too, and are even more unregulated. What with being supervillains, and all. At least, I hope they're more unregulated by comparison, that's kinda a spooky thought of its own... Ugh.'
[Hmm... As unreliable of a source of information as you are, I still can't help but be curious about an entire other world with so many apparent differences... Ah, but now isn't the time for questions either way. The three of you aren't going to be getting much sleep tonight if we keep getting distracted like this.]
'Shit, you're right.'
"Bah, no use worrying about that right now. Let's keep going, yeah?" Once Lucas has pulled them out of their own heads, he continues going through the list.
They both can't help making fun of a large portion of the names they come across as they go on. 'Doom Flock' in particular got a fair amount of laughter.
Lucas also can't resist giving amused reactions when reaching names they're already familiar with, buried in a sea of ridiculous nonsense.
'Ayyy, Danny has the first F name with Faunahorde, nice.'
[I'm pretty sure you'd end up getting terrorized by pigeons or something if you dared call him that, even if he seemed to accept you calling him Dan.]
'Now I'm somehow even more tempted?'
[...Don't blame me if the next rollback doesn't take you far enough back to undo saying it if you don't like the results.]
'You're no fun. Also; weird threat, but okay.'
[...Just saying.]
-----
Lucas kills this chapter: 0
Lucas total kills: 6
Lucas deaths this chapter: 0
Lucas total deaths: 10
Lucas current GDV: 7.27
Lucas's fame level: 2* (Mostly just local)
Lucas's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)
Jonathan kills this chapter: 0
Jonathan total kills: 4
Jonathan deaths this chapter: 0
Jonathan total deaths: 2
Jonathan current GDV: 1.72 (+.01 net change)
Jonathan's fame level: 1.5* (Just local)
Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)
-----
Little character theater:
Jonathan is busy cuddling the doggo while laughing at corny supervillain naming conventions.
Lucas is busy being jealous of the doggo cuddling that is occurring, while also laughing at the corny supervillain naming conventions.
The doggo is enjoying said cuddles, oblivious to Lucas's burning envy. He too is amused by the corny supervillain naming conventions.
427 is distracted while trying to speculate what world politics would be like in the absence of superpowers.
Author, shaking their head repeatedly: It's not as different as you seem to think, 427.
Mr. Quacks, wondering how he could go about requesting his own snuggles: Quack..?
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