บท 41: I'm not ready

"Miss Carter?" asked the doctor snapping her fingers in front of my face, "are you okay?"

My mind was all foggy and far away from this room at the doctor's office.

The doctor's concerned voice was like a distant voice fading into the background as one enters the light. 

Me? Pregnant?

I was not ready to be a mom especially not a single one.

I was overwhelmed with emotions, the dominant ones being fear, worry and guilt.

I feared that my parents would disown me for ruining my reputation. 

I was worried that I would have had to do this all alone with out no guidance nor support. 

I felt guilty that I was going to bring a bastard child into this world whose father was the fiancé of my ex best friend.

I didn't want to be selfish and put my child through a life where they will be looked down upon and grow up without a father.

I grew up with my father so I know how important it is to have one.