บท 14: Mostly I've Been Worried About You
Penelope was down to her last ship and things weren't looking good. Roman still had the carrier, the largest ship, and the submarine on the board. Eight hits. She needed eight more hits to win and he only needed two.
What happened to her perfect strategy? He had guessed it all so easily! Maybe the other her had played Battleship with him too often.
"D10," he said confidently.
She was toast. "Hit," she said miserably. "F1?"
"Hit. E10."
"Hit. You win," Penelope sighed.
Roman rubbed his hands together. "Excellent! I'm surprised you actually wagered with me on this game. You know you never win."
She cursed internally. His actual wife would know that but how was she supposed to? She had only been in this parallel world for a few days! It was a miracle she hadn't been exposed as a fraud already.
"What do you want as your reward?" she asked in resignation.
He laughed. "Wow, you must have really wanted something from me. What was it?"
"I didn't win so you don't get to know."
Penelope actually didn't have anything in mind. She had been too focused on not having to do something for him that she hadn't even thought about what she wanted him to do for her. All she really wanted was to go home but he couldn't make that happen.
"Alright, be that way," Roman said airily before growing more serious. "I want a neck massage. You give the best ones and I'm dying after sitting behind a desk all day."
She blinked in surprise. That was it? She could totally do that. She gave her friends and family massages all the time.
"Sure thing," Penelope said. "You'll need to sit in front of me though."
Roman obediently moved over and sat down on the ground in front of the couch. He was about eight or nine inches taller than her so it was the best way for her to reach his neck.
His muscles were tense but they were also deceptively well defined. His neck wasn't thick and beefy like some gym rats' she knew. There was a guy like that at the call center who worked a few rows over from her.
"You really are tense," she noted. "Did anything happen today?"
He shrugged. "Same old same old. My job is essentially taking care of people's complaints and finding a way to fix them. I put out a lot of fires, you know."
Ah. Penelope Cross was supposed to know that. Oops.
"Mostly I've been worried about you," Roman confessed. "That anesthesia thing really freaked me out and I don't like leaving you alone when you're in pain like this. I feel so stupid for not noticing the signs sooner. I work in a hospital surrounded by doctors!
"How could I not have noticed there was something wrong with your appendix? I've walked around inspecting things before when patients were getting examined for abdominal pain; I should have realized and gotten you to check it out sooner."
Whoa. Even a doctor would have a hard time noticing something like that without conducting an examination. He was only in administration; he was being way too hard on himself.
"That isn't your fault at all!" Penelope insisted as she continued kneading the tension out of his neck. "If anything, I should have realized there was something wrong with my own body sooner. Don't blame yourself for something that isn't your fault."
It would be fifty times worse if he realized that the nearly-ruptured appendix was likely what catapulted his beloved wife off into another world. Good thing he didn't know.
Roman was caring to a fault. He blamed himself way too much when something happened to people he loved. Being nice was a good thing until it took a toll on your own well-being.
"But I could have lost you," he said quietly. "I know appendectomies are practically routine with today's medical technology and I shouldn't have had anything to worry about but I completely panicked when you had to go in for emergency surgery not knowing for sure if you would come out."
"Roman…" Penelope trailed off before biting her lip, unsure what to say to comfort him.
He HAD lost his wife. His fear had been completely justified. She didn't want to say something trite or lie to him right now. He was bearing his soul to someone he trusted; she couldn't break that trust more than she already had.
He snapped out of his melancholy immediately. "I'm sorry. I'm being a total downer right now. Way to be morbid, Roman. Don't mind me."
"No, you don't have to apologize for what you felt," Penelope said firmly. "Keeping your feelings bottled up is a lot worse than letting them out. No matter what, your feelings are valid."
She meant it. She had kept her true feelings about being forced to become her family's anchor after her dad died locked up inside and it had slowly driven her to despair. Her exhaustion back home wasn't entirely due to working two jobs.
Her very soul had been worn down. There wasn't anybody she could talk to without sounding like she was complaining. She knew complaining wouldn't fix anything and didn't want to be a burden.
That desire not to bring others down had resulted in a lot of mental pain. She probably should have gone to a therapist but couldn't afford one.
Roman sighed and leaned back into the massage as the tension began seeping out of his shoulders. "You always know what to say, don't you, Penny? That's one of the things I've always loved about you. You know how to cut right through to the heart of things."
Nobody had ever told her that before. She was a bit blunt and had been criticized for being too straightforward when she was younger so she stopped butting into other people's business.
Penelope always thought it was a weakness. Now this man was telling her it was a strength?
"Thanks," she said softly, unsure how else to respond.
She could see why the other Penelope had fallen in love with him. He obviously thought the world of her. It would be impossible not to cave to that level of affection over the years.
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