บท 27: They never moved on.
"Aiden, do..do you not hate me?" Anna faintly spoke.
Aiden intently looked into her eyes and he caressed her cheek with his thumb, making Anna close her eyes in content.
This is something she always liked..
"I do." he softly answered. It broke Anna's heart but this is already an answer she expected. Who would not hate a person who agreed to marry him but made his life a hell after that?
"I hate you and I hate myself too." Aiden added. After all, he has his fair share in the break up as well.
"But I care for you.I still do," he added.
"I..I broke up with you. I left you" Anna said, her voice shivering.
"You should be hating me. Rather than comforting me like this you should be-" before Anna could speak, Aiden stopped her by placing his index finger on her lips.
"As I said, I hated you, Anna. I hated how you broke up with me abruptly. I hated how you disappeared from my life and didn't even care to say goodbye" Aiden told, his voice laced with pain.
Their relationship started to get detached a long time before their break up. They would argue but mostly they distanced themselves from each other. He thought they would return to normal after some alone time but they had a fight and she abruptly broke up with him.
He was very angry at her at that time. He didn't go to meet her nor did he answer when she called him. He was so pissed off to even think straight.
By the time he came around, she left. She simply disappeared into thin air. Till date, he doesn't know the exact reason why she decided to break up with him.
He searched for her like a crazy man and years passed by but he never found her. Only he knows the pain and despair he went through because of her disappearance.
Yes, the main reason for his anger is not the break up but her disappearance. If she didn't disappear, he is sure that they would have reunited after a proper conversation.
Even if they didn't make up with each other, they would have remained as people who care for each other. Their break up would have caused a heart break but it wouldn't have been this heart wrenching and depressing as now.
Her disappearance was the reason why he had to go through so much.
Why did she leave?
Is she safe?
What is the reason for her disappearance?
Did she fall in love with another man?
So many questions tortured his mind. Some people said that she cheated on him. Some said that she just used him as some rebound. Others said that she wanted only a casual relationship with him.
There were many other thoughts people around him offered to him. It was simply unbearable and excruciating to him that he was barely a living person. He had to leave that country and return to his family to forget her and that painful past.
Listening to his sorrowful voice, Anna felt her heart tremble. A tear slowly rolled down her cheeks.
"The more I tried to forget you, the more you invaded my life." Aiden continued.
"Those years were a living hell for me. What was more frustrating is, I couldn't forget you. I couldn't forget the hate nor the love I had for you. What an irony, right?" he asked, chuckling bitterly.
Anna pursed her lips.
She understood what he meant.
He hates her but he can't stop caring for her. Though it pains his heart, he can't forget the love he has for her.
This type of love is the most painful. He can't move on even if he wants to.
Thinking of it, Anna's guilt became even more unbearable.
"What can I do to make you feel better?" Anna asked. She knows that she has no right to ask this but she couldn't help it. This time, she is willing to pay the price even if it is her own life.
If it makes him feel better and gives him a push to move on, she is ready to leave this place and never return. Yes, her brother needs her but Aiden is more important.
She can help her brother in many other ways but for Aiden, there is only one way she could help and that is to listen to him.
Aiden laughed bitterly. "What can you do to make me feel better?" he questioned her in return. He tried all the ways to make himself feel better but all those were dead ends.
"Maybe if I leave, you might feel better." Anna said, ignoring the sorrow and distraught that words brought.
"You already appeared in front of me. Your disappearance will only bring more pain to me. It will bring back the memories of your first disappearance. It's too late to leave, Anna." Aiden said.
"Do you know how much turmoil I am facing right now? I want to get close to you but whenever I do so, it brings those dreadful memories back. You are like a poison I am addicted to. I can't think rationally at all, all thanks to you." he said, laughing bitterly again.
Whenever she is out of his sight, he wants to see her, get close to her again. And, when he did so, his heart would ache and suffocate.
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