บท 30: CH28: GRIEF
This is a passion work. So, I would really appreciate it if you leave behind a review when you're done reading.
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CH28: GRIEF
Korede Balogun was currently alone in the private wardroom. After what his elder brother, Colonel Kola Balogun, just told him, he was not in a mood to sleep. Colonel Balogun was right. Korede was still in a rage.
No matter how much he tried, he couldn't help but get angrier. He wished that he could get his hands on the Emissary and crush his skull. At the back of his mind, however, he knew it won't bring Kunle Balogun-Keshinro and all the other members of the Alpha team back to life. He just couldn't help it.
The symbiote watched as its new Host struggled with his rage. After a while, it couldn't help but say [Host. I know you know this but your elder brother is right. Revenge is not the answer. It will not bring back your loved one, it will only make you lose yourself.]
However, this didn't help. To the contrary, Korede snapped.
"And what would you know about it? You are just an organism that bonds with someone and feeds off them. Once that person is dead, you move on to the next person. How can an immortal like you know the pains of us mortals." Korede said out loud.
[i know you're angry because a family member is dead but watch what you say. Do you think shouting at everyone will make things better? You always act mature but at the end of the day, inwardly, you are a child. Yes, I am immortal… but I am still a living being. I have emotions too. You mortals are lucky. Once your time is up, you die. I have to live forever… Watching everyone I make a connection with dying one after the other. Again and again and again. Do you think it's easy? Seeing everyone I ever care about die… knowing that everyone I'll ever care about will die in front of my eyes and the only thing I can do is move on to the next person. Anger, Rage, Depression, Grief. I have felt it all. This is just your first taste of it. So what makes you think you can shout like that to me. So let me ask, what do YOU know about it?] The symbiote shouted back at Korede
At that moment Korede's eyes cleared. He recalled his previous conversation with the symbiote. At the time, he couldn't understand the emotion it expressed when it spoke of its previous Hosts. Now he did.
It was grief.
It made sense once he thought about it. Even if it was just the baby Host it spoke about. No matter how cold one was, you can't spend more than fifty years with someone and not make a kind of connection to them. When such a person dies, the symbiote would have definitely felt grief. If that was extended to all the Host it had ever had, the amount of grief it carried could be said to be multi-folds. (1)
Korede began to calm down. He knew that he had crossed the line(2).
'I'm sorry. I was blinded by my rage.' Korede apologised.
[It's alright. I've also been there. It exactly because of blind rage like that your family forbids going for vengeance. You'll be so blind to the things around you that you'll destroy the things you care about without realising until it's too late.]
'I realise that now.' Korede admitted his fault. 'However, that doesn't mean I can forgive the Emissary. Even if I can, with the vendetta he has against us, I don't think this will be the last time he will try to harm our Military. With how spread my family members are within the Military, there's no guarantee the next time he attacks, another one won't also fall victim.'
[Host, nobody said to forgive him or let him go. Even your family rules didn't say so. All we are telling you to do is not be blinded by your thirst for revenge. Besides, do you think you're the only one that wants to get your hands on the emissary? I don't know about your wider extended family but do you think your brother will let him go?]
'That's true.' Korede saw the light.
Kola was very protective of his family. He might be a nice guy normally but if someone wronged his family, he would never let that person go no matter who they are. It was because of this protectiveness that he was loved by his subordinates. After all, he considered them family too.
'Thank you' Korede showed his gratitude
[No problem.]
With his emotions back under control, Korede's mind cleared. It had been eventful since he woke up. His mood had swung various emotions. He had also learnt various things. At this moment, the symbiote felt a growth in its Host's mental state. It was gratified.
Korede was about to fall asleep when he realised something important he forgot to ask this new alien partner of his.
'That reminds me. I forgot to ask what abilities you have to give me.'
[...] The symbiote didn't respond. Silence descended on the room. Korede wondered why the symbiote was not answering when a reason crossed his mind
'Hope you are not going to tell me I can't know your abilities because I can't control my Will.' Korede said in his mind.
[i knew you are going to be pissed. That's why I didn't say anything. The rules are the rules there's nothing I can do.]
'Damn it. You are not useful at all.' Korede was pissed anyway. 'Then can you tell me how you are going to get energy for your consumption? You can't expect me to start finding radioactive material for you to consume, right?'
[Well, until you… learn how to control your will, I can take energy from your body. I can feed on any form of material energy including chemical energy from the food you consume. So for now, you have to eat for two of us.]
'Shit!! Now I'm sure you're trying to piss me off. Do you know I can hardly provide energy for my body's needs? Now you are expecting me to add your portion? You aren't a symbiote, you are a parasite.'
[Hey, I take offence to that. How can you compare me to a parasite? That's a big insult. It's like me comparing you to faeces. Besides, if you learn to… control your Will, I can help you with your body's needs.]
'If you say 'Will' one more time, you and I are going to have a problem.' Korede issued an ultimatum.
A wise man knows when to keep silent. The symbiote wisely chose to keep quiet. After grumbling for a while, Korede fell asleep. Seeing that, the symbiote mumbled
[It's not my fault you can't control your Will. If you knew how great I am and how many supreme beings in the universe would give up everything they had to be my Host, you'd be scared shitless. Never mind, once the time is right you will come to know of my greatness. You will apologize for this slander.]
Fantasizing about the beautiful future, the symbiote also went to sleep. Its energy supply was limited, it had to save anywhere it can. Thus, Host and symbiote entered the dream world. (3)
Morning came and Korede was awakened by the rays of the sunlight that passed through the window before coming to rest on his face. As he woke up and stretched, the smell of disinfectants reminded him of his current location. Events of a few hours ago renewed themselves in his mind. The bliss he felt from the morning sunshine vanished from his face. Determination took its place.
'I have to get out of the hospital as fast as I can. The earlier I find an ancient swordsmanship master the better.' Korede decided. He could no longer be bothered to pretend as one would expect of a newly arisen coma patient. He just wanted to be discharged as quickly as possible. So, when the nurse from the previous night arrived to check up on him and take him to the physiotherapist, Korede requested to be discharged. The young lady was stunned. She didn't know what to say. She could only go to get Dr. Makinde.
The Doctor was also stunned by the patient's request. He tried to dissuade him to no avail. Korede started to get annoyed by their pestering. He knew his body best after all. Both sides were at an impasse. So, Korede brought out his trump card.
"You can call my superior, Colonel Balogun. Tell him I request to be discharged. If you can convince him to make me stay, I'll stay." Korede told the doctor.
Dr. Makinde readily agreed, believing he could talk some sense to Colonel Balogun. Alas, things didn't go according to his expectations. After Dr. Makinde explained the situation to the Colonel, the latter asked the phone be given to Korede. The following conversation ensued.
"Do you really want to leave?" The Colonel asked
"Yes sir, I do." Private Korede replied.
"Are you sure you are completely fine?"
"Yes sir, I am."
"Alright. Return the phone to the good doctor."
The call was on speaker so Dr. Makinde heard the exchange between the two. He could not believe his ears. He couldn't believe how casual the two were taking this. Someone woke up from a coma and was asking to leave that very day and that's all you have to say?
"Hello, Doctor?"
"I'm here. What are your instructions?"
"Well, your patient insists he's fine. Since he's an adult, it's within his rights to ask to be discharged. However, I can understand where you're coming from. So, I have a proposal. Have the physios give him some tests and a physical check-up. If he passes then you'll have nothing to worry about and be able to discharge him in good conscience. If he fails any of the tests, on the other hand, you have my guarantee he'll stay in the Hospital till you wish to release him. So, do you agree doctor?"
Dr. Makinde thought about and felt the proposal is reasonable. So, he agrees, "Fine with me."
Thus, Korede took part in one physical exam after another and passed them all in flying colours. The physios even arranged for him to take the full course 'return to active duty' physical exam which comprised of every possible physical exercise for injured soldiers returning to active duty from long-distance running, obstacle course clearing, sit-ups, pull-ups, frog-jumps, everything. Even shooting, swimming, and hand-to-hand combat were not left out. Korede eased through everything. His performance made Dr. Makinde, the physiotherapist and Military test instructors doubt whether he was ever in a coma. It was like an elite soldier that went to sleep and simply woke up ready for duty the next day. The good doctor had no more complaints and so he signed off on Korede's discharge.
By the time all this was done, it was already around 1 pm I.e visiting hours in the hospital. The base allowed visitation from immediate family members and two registered guests only and between the hours of 1 pm to 5 pm. By 5 pm, all visitors have to leave the base. Colonel Balogun had told Korede that he had informed their parents. So, Korede was waiting for them to arrive. Not only them actually, there was also something else he wanted to do.
[A.N: Please, don't forget to leave a review of the work to encourage me. Your opinion really matters to me.]
AUTHOR'S NOTE/RAMBLING
1 I've heard a sort of adage that might fit this scenario. I have forgotten exactly how it was stated but it goes something like this,
'Even an abused lover will grieve when their abuser dies. For as long as love was ever in their relationship, the abused will have moments when they will grieve for their abuser.
Not sure I got it right but I think the general context is there. I found it weird when I heard it but… well, what do I know.
2 Sometimes in tense emotional situations, humans only listen to those that are going through the same thing. Any other person is ignored.
3 Initially, I didn't plan for the symbiote to show much emotion. Changed my mind after thinking back and forth, how to explain Korede's character growth. I think it came out rather well. The problem now is how to show it keeping to its emotion and giving it a character I initially didn't plan for. Sigh… more work.
[A.N: Please, don't forget to leave a review of the work to encourage me. Your opinion really matters to me.]
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