บท 147: Chapter 145: The Troublesome Woman Fetish Is Real
I sighed heavily, being talented sucks.
A yakuza smelled the aroma of the food I made in the kitchen so he called his friends and in the end I had to prepare a banquet under the pretense that this was a celebration banquet, although this doesn't really bother me, I'm used to the labor exploitation.
During the banquet, Chitoge met my now 'brother', Raku. God, it sounds so weird when I think about it.
Today was the first day of school so she and Raku met after an argument or something, a cliché soap opera encounter.
Apparently, both have a bad impression of each other so they started arguing.
I ignored this as I don't care and just continued eating in peace, but was somehow dragged into the discussion as Raku finally noticed my presence.
"A-Aniki…" – Raku started to tremble when he saw me.
There is respect and fear in his expression which should normally be strange since before today, I was his father's subordinate.
The reason this guy respects me is that he knows that, at least in the human world, I am one of the main people responsible for helping to keep the yakuza situation stable since I killed every person who caused problems for the family. Ichijo.
Although this is good since I took out various sexual harassers, drug dealers, gang members, and other types of troublesome idiots, it's also because this that Raku fears me since he knows that I've murdered 370 people (at least that's the estimated number by the police, I don't even know how many people I have killed since it is something unimportant).
In a way, my relationship with Raku is similar to my relationship with my sister since that brat is also afraid of me even though she sometimes shows traces of affection.
I sighed. – "Raku, you must not be rude to the guests"
"I'm sorry aniki..." - Raku apologized, but there was still anger in his eyes when he saw Chitoge.
It's rare for Raku to hold a grudge so something else must have happened.
I saw Raku unconsciously move his hand to his chest several times as if he was worried about something.
Now that I remember this fool told me about a promise he made when he was a kid, something about a marriage and a necklace or something stupid like that, I really just pretended to care since being friends with my boss's son is a convenient thing, but now I think this fool is not wearing his collar.
I raised an eyebrow pretending that this mattered to me. – "Raku, it is strange that you do not have your necklace on"
Raku stood still for a moment, then sighed bitterly. – "I lost it today at school…"
Raku seemed to want to hide his anger towards Chitoge so she must have been the cause which doesn't surprise me since she seems like the kind of woman who easily causes trouble.
The more I think about it, the more I wish it would be Raku who stays with this girl while I do more important things...
I sighed and nodded. – "Later we will go to your school, I will help you find your necklace"
Raku's eyes lit up and he nodded. – "Thank you Aniki!"
Whatever.
Chitoge seemed to want to make a disparaging comment towards Raku, but the fact that he is my 'little brother' made her go silent as if she had remembered the incident from earlier.
It seems that my method of instilling manners is working, this is good.
Mr. Ichijo and Adelt seemed pleased with the interaction between us youth group.
In this group, I'm technically the adult so it's normal that I'm the one in charge of keeping order.
While we were still enjoying our food, I heard the noise of a fight at the entrance of the residence.
When I looked at Mr. Ichijo I saw that he and Adelt had sour expressions as if they had expected this.
"Let's see what happens" - Mr. Ichijo sighed and stood up.
When we went out to the main courtyard we saw that at the entrance of the residence there was a fight between the yakuzas and several men in white suits.
Both groups belonged to the supernatural world, but they weren't using any special abilities and were only using combat techniques within what was humanly acceptable.
There is a rule of the Will of the World that prevents publicly revealing the supernatural side to ordinary humans, so public battles are usually through firearms and martial arts, which is convenient for me since according to Mr. Ichijo, there are very few people in Japan who can rival my martial arts without considering supernatural factors.
"Fucking bastards!" – Sasaki shouted furiously as he fights with a white-haired man.
"You damn animals! How dare they kidnap our young miss?!" – The man shouted furiously as he counterattacked.
If I'm not mistaken, that man should be Claude, Adelt's right-hand man.
Both idiots kept fighting until the mafia representatives got tired of seeing their subordinates acting like children.
"Stop! They are shaming the image of the Bee Hive Gang!" – Adelt showed his authority as the leader of the mob.
"Bastards, stop acting like children!" – Mr. Ichijo also showed his authority and in an instant, both groups stopped fighting.
"Leader, these uncivilized people are causing trouble" – Claude spoke like a spoiled child who was scolded by his father.
"Boss, this bastard is a nasty bastard" – Sasaki was a troublesome kid who starts fights at school.
"Who are you calling a bastard?!" - Claude yelled furiously.
"To the only bastard who answers to being a bastard!" – Sasaki is a natural troublemaker.
"Stop peeling!" – Both mafia leaders were furious.
I think I'm beginning to understand the situation.
The yakuza and the Bee Hive Gang are enemies, however, the leaders of both organizations wish to collaborate through an alliance, but the problem is that the subordinates of both groups are stubborn idiots who are not willing to be allies.
This is where Chitoge comes in.
If the heirs of both families get married, both groups of idiots will have to accept the alliance, but there is a problem, Raku is not suitable to inherit the yakuza, and to make the problem worse if I marry Chitoge and the Bee Hive Gang discovers that I have other wives then those idiots will want to fight me which will cause an even bigger fight.
The only way to fix this problem is for Chitoge to genuinely fall in love with me, then she has to make a dramatic scene where she declares her feelings for me in front of the Bee Hive Gang which will make this group of stubborn idiots accepts the situation for the sake of Chitoge's happiness...
Thinking this far, I looked at Mr. Ichijo who, despite looking angry on the surface, showed micro-expressions of happiness as if everything was going according to his plan.
Great, now it turns out that everyone has perfect plans where I become the main piece… Shit.
"Claude, I don't want you to cause problems for our new allies" – Adelt spoke seriously.
"But leader…" – Claude looked like a child throwing a tantrum.
"No buts" – Adelt frowned. – "Besides, you are embarrassing my daughter in front of her fiancé"
These words made the people of the Bee Hive Gang freeze.
Adelt looked at Raku with a disdainful expression. – "Fiancé? This brat is not worthy of the lady."
"Me?" - Raku's eyes widened in horror. – "No no no no no, this is impossible, I don't want to marry this gorilla woman…"
"Who are you calling a gorilla?! Damn tadpole!" – Chitoge seemed to be about to punch Raku, but when she was raising her fist she looked at me and gritted her teeth before going down.
At this rate, I'll get the title of problem girl tamer or something stupid like that...
Adelt smiled wryly and pointed at me. – "My daughter's fiancé is the young master of the Ichijo family, Ichijo Seiji"
"Nani?" – Most of the people present let out stupid sounds of disbelief.
"A-A-Aniki?" - Raku looked at me in disbelief.
"Yes, well, life is unpredictable" - I smiled wryly.
Chitoge looked at me confused as I told her that I was adopted by the Ichijo family but she doesn't know that I was adopted a few hours ago, in fact, the adoption papers were made official only half an hour before Chitoge and her father arrived.
The power of money is wonderful, the entire troublesome legal process of adoption was completed in a matter of minutes.
As for the 'Contract' in my soul, it wasn't broken when I was adopted by the Ichijo family so there must be other sections that prevent me from killing my father which is disappointing but well, I expected that.
Anything too good for me is sure to be troublesome shit.
Raku isn't a complete idiot and he seemed to understand something so he looked at his father who nodded.
"Good luck aniki" - Raku smiled with relief as if he had dodged a bullet at the same time that he looked at me with pity for my commitment to the violent girl.
…This idiot is forcing me to sleep with the women of the Onodera family…
Chitoge looked at me for a while as her face reddened, she ignored Raku's obvious displeasure and it seemed like her mind was filled with stupid thoughts, but she quickly calmed down as she remembered the little conflict we had and started to worry that I'm holding a grudge against her or something similar.
Claude looked at me for a long time and then frowned. – "Ichijo Seiji? Isn't that boy Yamada Seiji?"
I smiled bitterly. – "Life is a constant change"
Claude went from disbelief to fury. – "Will the young miss get engaged to that damn womanizer?!"
"Womanizer?" – Chitoge opened her eyes in surprise and looked a little disappointed.
It's good that she knows this sooner, but it would have been better if her father told her.
I frowned slightly but didn't say anything since he's telling the truth and denying it will only cause problems later on.
"Enough" - Adelt frowned. – "I have already made a decision and your actions are only tarnishing the image of Bee Hive Gang"
Claude's respect and loyalty to his boss are genuine so he kept quiet, although this idiot will surely seek to cause trouble later on.
"As long as young Seiji stays safe, he will be my daughter's fiancé so I don't want to keep hearing complaints" - Adelt spoke authoritatively to which the people of the Bee Hive Gang nodded without hesitation.
As long as I live, Chitoge will be my fiancée, so if I die, she won't have a fiancé… Son of a bitch.
Is this the test that he will give me?
I repeat, son of a bitch.
Adelt seemed to have things to do as he mentioned that he was going back to America and said goodbye to Mr. Ichijo, but before he left he came over to say goodbye to me and used some strange technique to give me a telepathic message. – "If you are good to my daughter and you prove to be worthy then I will forget what happened three years ago, but if you make my daughter cry…"
Oh right, the father-in-law's threats, it's so predictable it's boring.
It was in my expectation that Mr. Ichijo would tell him my real identity so I nodded showing a sincere expression of resolve.
[System Notification: The energy 'Reader's Madness' and the skill 'Self-knowledge' have detected an emotional analysis skill]
[System Notification: The skill 'Mythomania' has feigned 'friendly affection' and 'sincere friendship' with the entity 'Chitoge Kirisaki']
Very predictable~
That's what happens when you rely too much on skills, this idiot didn't even question that I grew fond of his daughter in a very short time.
Adelt nodded with a relieved expression and turned to leave with his subordinates.
Chitoge accompanied her father and before leaving she looked at me with a complicated expression to which I smiled kindly. – "Whenever you want a good meal you can look for me"
Chitoge smiled as he lessened the bitterness in his heart at knowing that I am a womanizer. She must think that those are just rumors and in case it's true, I'll be true to her once we're a real couple.
Now I just have to show her the most important lesson in life, you can't always get what you want and you just have to accept what they offer you.
When the hive people left, I looked at Mr. Ichijo who was smiling as if all this shit was funny.
"Well, I've already explained your responsibilities, anything you need doesn't hesitate to ask me" - Mr. Ichijo smiled.
I have a feeling this man is doing this because he is tired of dealing with the responsibilities of being the leader of the mob and he expects me to take over his job.
[System Notification: The skill 'Paranoia' has detected a 50% chance that the user's guess is true]
…
I suppressed the urge to sigh and nodded, then looked at Raku. – "Let's go get your necklace"
Raku smiled and nodded, I like this guy since he doesn't think things too much and it's easy to order him around.
I changed my appearance back to that of Luis and accompanied Raku to his school that should be closed by now.
Although my identity as Seiji is more suitable for doing business, there are many people who persecute me for different reasons so it's easier to move around the city as Luis.
A car took us to school and in a matter of minutes, we found the collar since my sense of smell is superior to any dog.
Raku thanked me so many times that I wanted to hit him, but I held back, now I have to take care of this idiot.
I sent Raku back in the car as I told him that I would go and sort out some personal business. He didn't insist on accompanying me as my private business usually involves violence or women.
After Raku left, I started walking and after going through several streets I stopped in an alley.
"How long have you been following me?" – I massaged my forehead tiredly.
There was no response which made me frown. – "Look, I'm not in the mood for this stupid stalker game so tell me since when you've been following me"
From the entrance of the alley, a person silently approached.
She was a black-haired girl with no flashy features, everything about her was the definition of 'average person' so it was easy not to pay much attention to her.
"How did you discover me?" - The girl asked me with curiosity without caring to be alone with me in an uninhabited alley while the sun began to hide. – "I have been following you for two months, but now suddenly you noticed me…"
Two months?
Are you fucking with me?
Before I woke up my system, I wasn't inhumanly strong, but I've always been careful.
I managed to evade detection from killers, I was able to evade the police, I hid from other criminal organizations… But I couldn't detect the presence of a normal girl without supernatural abilities?
If it wasn't for my new detection abilities and enhanced senses then I wouldn't have noticed her watching me since I arrived at Raku's school.
I sighed. – "Your talent as a stalker is amazing, you should become a celebrity scandal reporter"
"You're always so sarcastic" - The girl smiled. – "And I am not a stalker, I just like to watch you~"
I rolled my eyes. – "Wanting to look at someone when she is taking a bath is a crime"
"It's not a crime if there's no evidence~" - The girl smiled.
Great, she now she's using my words against me… Whatever.
"Fine, you win" – I smiled as sighed.
"Oh? Do you give up so easily? – The girl looked at me with surprise as if she had seen an unknown creature.
"You managed to follow me for two months and only now do I realize" – I found the situation amusing. – "Come on, I will invite you to eat something"
"The stingy guy is inviting me to eat, I feel so moved that I'll cry~" – The girl began to speak dramatically.
This girl… Well, I like her so I can accept this level of teasing.
Her name is Sumireko Sanshokuin, a beautiful girl who usually hides her appearance to avoid stalkers, although she likes to be called Pansy since she is her favorite flower.
I met her a year ago when I was doing my usual routine of checking out the city alleys for trouble.
An idiot was harassing her and although that idiot was not aggressive, Pansy was uncomfortable with the situation so when I walked by her she asked me for help.
I am not a gentleman and I helped her in exchange for some money for my lunch, what I did not expect is that the idiot was so stubborn that I had to beat him until his front teeth broke, after that the girl started looking for me and since she invited me to eat, I didn't avoid her.
What can I say, I'm like a dog, feed me and I'm useful.
Days later the idiot turned out to be an idiot stalker and somehow things escalated until, well, that idiot committed suicide from depression, a tragedy.
Curiously, that made the girl become more attached to me since whenever there was a problem she would look for me, and since she is pretty besides giving me money I kept taking care of her.
We never formalized a relationship since I avoided real relationships because my emotional, family, and work situation was not suitable for a relationship, besides, technically I was dying so it would only be something problematic.
We both arrive at one of the safe spots assigned by the yakuza, a simple cafe suitable for mobsters to hide when being chased by the police or for private conversations.
When we entered the place, one of the waiters recognized me as a member of the yakuza so he gave me a private place where I can chat without interruption.
We both sat down and chose something to eat.
"Don't your pockets bleed when you buy me a coffee?" - Pansy smiled at me after choosing the most expensive drink on the menu.
"My pride bleeds not realizing that a stalker watched me for two months" - I replied apathetically.
"Oh come on, don't be spiteful~" – Pansy smiled playfully at me. – "How about you punish me tonight~? My father went on a trip for a couple of months~"
Life lesson number 1: Don't stick your penis in a crazy woman.
It's ironic when I say it.
I smiled wryly. – "As tempting as your offer is, first I want you to answer me something"
"Do you want to know my three measurements?" - Pansy smiled. – "Oh wait, you already know~ Pervert~"
I shook my head and sighed. – "Since you have been following me for two months then you should already know"
"To know that you have been with many women?" - Pansy smirked. – "I always knew you were a womanizer"
I rolled my eyes. – "You know what I mean, my health"
There was a deep silence.
The waiter brought us our food and I began to enjoy a crepe and a simple coffee while Pansy looked at her plate without moving.
"Just so you know, I'm already healthy" – I finished eating and wiped my lips with a napkin, this meal wasn't too bad.
Pansy looked up and stared at me. – "Is it a white lie?"
I shrugged. – "I am a liar, but I do not lie out of pity"
Pansy sighed. – "10 years is not a long time…"
That shitty doctor told him my whole diagnosis, I'm going to hit him twice as hard...
"That's in the past" - I shrugged.
Pansy frowned. – "This diagnosis is from a week ago!"
God, what a drama.
Pansy stopped showing her teasing expression and she seemed to want to cry which made me feel a bit uncomfortable, stupid feelings of attachment.
"Pansy…" – I wanted to say something, but she entered her own world.
"Maybe with some money we can find a solution…" - Pansy seemed to want to comfort herself. – "Medicine continues to advance so there must be a solution…"
That 'we' didn't sound like her and me...
"Sumireko" – I called her by her name pulling her out of her thoughts. – "Who else knows about this?"
Pansy showed a complicated expression, if she's not willing to tell me I can think of some people capable of making her keep an important secret.
Let's see, among the women I've been involved with who are skilled at manipulating people there is only one who lives in this city...
I sighed tiredly. – "So you became friends with Ichika…"
Pansy smiled bitterly. – "Why can't you be dense and stupid? You make it hard to keep secrets…"
"Ichika?" – Tsubaki asked in my mind.
Although she saw many of my memories, she only saw my childhood memories that made me who I am now, she doesn't know the girls I got involved with in Japan.
"A woman a little troublesome..." - I answered with a sigh.
"Will she be part of your harem?" – Tsubaki asked me curiously since my definition of 'problem woman' can be something good or something bad.
"Yes" - I sighed tiredly. – "She is problematic, but I like her in a certain way"
I sighed internally, stupid feelings of attachment.
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