บท 281: C281
Since a young age, she had always admired her father, Uther Pendragon.
Oh, how impressive her father was!
Amidst the chaos of the battlefield, amidst the bloodshed and scars, he remained unyielding, undeterred by the wounds inflicted upon him by his enemies. With swift and decisive actions, he severed their heads, further cementing his reputation of honor and glory.
Witnessing her father in action, everyone instinctively bowed their heads in submission. Even the most formidable warriors dared not display impudence in his presence.
That was true power, that was a king.
All were required to bow before the king, and the feeble were deemed fit only to be subjugated.
Hence, from an early age, a seed of conquest took root within her heart.
She stood apart from her peers, distinct in her disdain for weakness, her abhorrence of fragility, and her profound admiration for strength.
The sight of girls who wept and fawned over men, as if their very existence depended on them, was particularly vexing.
Her two sisters, in particular, would adorn themselves and, with delicate expressions, insist that they were simply women. They didn't need to navigate survival like men did. They should embrace their femininity, lean on men more, and strive to be pleasing to them.
She found it utterly laughable.
As the daughter of the king, a powerful conqueror, ravager, how could she be a weak rabbit?
Furthermore, the fact that men could accomplish certain things did not imply that women were incapable of doing so. Why must women constantly rely on men? Why should they constantly seek validation from them?
Perhaps society dictated such notions from the very moment she was born as a female.
Many surrendered to this belief and complied with it, but she was unlike the rest.
She refused to become a feeble rabbit. She wanted to become a lion, a conqueror, a king.
She also possessed the inherent potential to claim the title of a King.
Within her flowed the dormant power of the island, an inheritance that should have faded with the passing of her father's generation.
Her father, recognizing this unexpected revelation, took the extraordinary step of sending her, at the tender age of five, to a convent renowned for its specialized teachings in magecraft.
She believed that her father's intention was to pass the throne onto her, and with that in mind, she dedicated herself wholeheartedly to her training.
By the time she reached fifteen years of age, she had already emerged as the most exceptional sorceress within the confines of the convent.
To her dismay, her father displayed no indication of passing the throne to her. Instead, he orchestrated a clandestine scheme by forging a vessel to contain the essence of the ideal king, while simultaneously arranging her betrothal to the young King of Orkney.
The revelation ignited a blazing fury within her, an anger that surged through her veins. She wanted to curse her father and that child to their very demise. Yet, in the end, she restrained herself.
Because she was a woman, destined to never inherit the royal power and family lineage. Meanwhile, that child was a boy, capable of inheriting the throne and continuing the lineage.
So she swallowed her anger and resigned herself to her fate.
Perhaps no one noticed, not even herself, that her supposed strength, her so-called toughness, deep down, was no different from that of an ordinary woman—fragile.
She lacked the courage to oppose her father's commands or challenge the weight of tradition and societal norms.
But no one noticed, not even herself.
She simply told herself that being her brother, it was an inevitable situation. After all, the family needed to continue, and the mantle of royal power could only be bestowed upon men. And so, she resigned herself to her fate and embarked on her journey to the Kingdom of Orkney.
By the time she reached the age of fifteen, she had blossomed into a graceful and captivating young woman, with a mesmerizing figure and a face adorned with beauty that enticed desire. Her rebellious nature, in particular, stirred the conqueror's spirit within the veins of men.
King Orkney, her betrothed, was no exception. His eyes were filled with a fervent longing to conquer her.
Yet, she harbored no resentment towards the desires men held to conquer her. On the contrary, she admired those who dared to aspire to such conquest.
With that sentiment, she boldly declared to King Orkney, "As long as you can conquer me, you may do as you please."
That was the essence of her being—a person who either conquered others or was conquered by them.
Even within the confines of what was termed an arranged marriage, those who sought her compliance had to prove their mettle by conquering her spirit.
In the end, King Orkney proved to be nothing more than a coward. After she toyed with him, employing cunning magic tricks and ruthless tactics, he trembled in fear, desperate to flee.
However, it was too late for him to escape the consequences of desiring to conquer her. After all, every conquest comes with a price.
She resembled a venomous snake, a fierce mantis.
While she harbored no resentment towards being conquered by men, she held deep disdain for feeble individuals. Any weakling who sought to conquer her but cowered in fear would meet a torturous demise at her hands.
Such was the essence of her being, a relentless force either conquering and ravaging those around her or succumbing to the same fate at the hands of others.
She mercilessly eliminated her would-be husband, seizing control of the Kingdom of Orkney with an iron grip.
Anyone who dared to defy her authority faced dire consequences—they were subjected to curses, poisoned, or subjected to torturous ends.
Her reputation, cold-blooded and devilish, preceded her wherever she went.
However, controlling the Kingdom of Orkney was difficult for her alone.
So, she began to create her own children.
Embarking on a journey to the island of Ireland, she sought to pilfer souls from the realm of the deceased. However, she realized that overpowering the Queen of the Shadow Land would be difficult. So, she covertly infiltrated Aife's territory, the sister of the queen, secretly seizing a handful of untainted and pure souls.
Implanting these souls into prepared bodies, she carefully fabricated memories and beliefs, making them perceive her as their mother and compelling them to serve her cause.
Noble souls were tasked with noble deeds, while dark souls were assigned to darker tasks.
However, an unforeseen complication arose when she accidentally acquired the soul of a pure-hearted maiden.
She named this girl Gareth, fashioning her physical form through a combination of the blood of women from the kingdom and alchemical methods.
Initially, she viewed anything gentle or tender as expendable and contemplated discarding Gareth's soul to pilfer another from the realm of the deceased. However, she discovered that Aife had already alerted the Queen, who responded by sealing off the realm. This unforeseen turn of events compelled her to abandon her plans of soul theft, ultimately sparing Gareth from her original fate.
She arranged for Gareth to study magecraft, as it might prove somewhat useful. However, Gareth expressed a strong desire to become a knight instead.
Her immediate response was one of strong criticism. "How can a woman become a knight?"
Gareth countered, "Why can't women be knights?"
Caught off guard by this retort, she found herself momentarily speechless. Eventually, she resorted to a firm approach, sending Gareth to a convent under her strict guidance.
After the passing of her father, her yearning to inherit the kingdom resurfaced, particularly fueled by her suspicions that the supposed child of her father might be a girl rather than a boy.
"Why should I relinquish it to someone else if it's a girl?" she pondered.
Yet, in an unexpected turn of events, it was that man who drew the sword.
Her longstanding belief held that it was a mere deception orchestrated by Merlin. So, she closely observed him over an extended period. Eventually, she became convinced that the radiant youth, the gentle young boy, was indeed her true brother.
She observed her brother's entire journey and found his approach to handling matters hard to accept. His preference for reasoning with those who disrespected him seemed unnecessary to her. In her view, he should have simply eliminated those who posed a threat without bothering with explanations.
Moreover, she struggled to fathom why he invested his energy in attending to the ignorant masses, considering them to be nothing more than lowly beings meant to be ruled.
Based on her own values and perspective, she deemed her brother to be weak and feeble, believing that he required her support to navigate the complexities of ruling.
Once again, she ventured back to the island of Ireland with a new purpose. This time, her target was Aife. Through a calculated ambush, she seized Aife's horse, renaming it and subjecting it to her own brand of brainwashing, ensuring its unwavering loyalty to her brother.
In her eyes, her brother's weakness became increasingly apparent. Without her steadfast support, how could he possibly maintain his position? It was for this reason that she assembled her own children and rallied the forces of Orkney, positioning herself behind her weak brother. She knew that without her aid, he would never be able to sustain his authority.
Regrettably, her carefully devised plans did not unfold as anticipated.
The coronation ceremony intended for her brother was disrupted.
To worsen matters, Vortigern, an opposing force, advanced southward, encircling Camelot. With no alternative, her weak brother was forced to relocate to Cornwall, a land considered destitute and scorned by the masses.
Confronted with formidable threats and an array of dangers, she too began to experience the creeping tendrils of fear. The weight of the situation suffocated her, leaving her yearning for a strong pillar of support on which she could rely.
Surprisingly, her weak brother displayed a remarkable ability to uplift the kingdom single-handedly.
Against all odds, he erected a flourishing realm from the ashes of nothingness.
In the face of animosity and disdain from the people, he shouldered the weight of their discontent and guilt himself.
Confronted by formidable enemies, he fortified the kingdom with sturdy walls and pursued strategic alliances to strengthen his territory.
As time passed, her brother single-handedly reconstructed a kingdom that was destined to crumble.
And at this moment, she finally realized that her brother was not weak at all.
She had never noticed nor understood his strength.
But as long as she looked at him, her heart would be filled with a sense of security, as if there was no need to worry about anything anymore.
She found solace in the presence of a resolute and capable figure, a shoulder that had already borne the weight of the world.
Gradually, she grew accustomed to this newfound sense of security and comfort. However, her contentment was shattered when she discovered that he was not her brother.
Rage consumed her, fueling a storm of emotions.
Yet, he extended a promise, assuring her that once everything was resolved, she would also be granted the right to inherit.
Despite his pledge, she hesitated and became overwhelmed by fear.
Could a woman truly ascend to the position of a king?
Beneath her seemingly unyielding exterior, he was the only one who recognized the vulnerabilities she concealed. In light of this understanding, he encouraged her to defy tradition and break free from the constraints that held her back.
With his unwavering support, she defied the traditions and ascended to the position of king, fulfilling her long-standing desire. She became a true queen, a conqueror, and everything that man had accomplished now belonged to her— the dynasty, the people, wealth, status, power—everything was within her grasp.
However, despite her newfound status and achievements, she found herself unable to sleep peacefully through the night. A deep unease plagued her, and she struggled to comprehend its source.
Why couldn't she sleep throughout the night?
Why was she afraid of the darkness during the night?
Why did her heart grow heavy when the lights were turned off?
The answers eluded her, leaving her in a state of confusion and genuine bewilderment.
She really wanted to understand what was going on in her own heart.
However, the True Ancestor adamantly refused to use her Mystic Eyes on her from beginning to end.
She had ascended to the throne, becoming the queen of a sprawling empire. Yet, as she sat upon the lofty seat, gazing upon her dominion, a profound sense of loneliness overcame her. Tears cascaded down her face, betraying her regal facade.
In a moment of clarity, she realized the true nature of her desires.
Unbeknownst to her, she had already been conquered by that man.
The yearning for the kingship had been a mere façade, overshadowed by a deeper longing—for his gaze to linger upon her, for him to play with her hair and utter beautiful words, much like he did with other women.
However, her wishes remained unfulfilled. Throughout their encounters, that man kept his distance, and eventually, he departed.
Never to return.
Her feelings towards the True Ancestor turned to resentment.
If only she had used her Mystic Eyes on her, she would have discovered her true feelings much earlier. She wouldn't have allowed that man to slip away.
How dare he conquer her heart and then tried to run away?
There was no such cheap escape!
But it was already too late.
That man had already departed, leaving this world behind, returning to his homeland of Avalon.
However, her resolve remained unyielding.
She refused to surrender.
What she desired, she would obtain.
He might have taken a piece of her strength and then departed, but she would not allow herself to be left behind.
Absolutely not!
In a desperate attempt to find that man, she transferred her responsibilities onto Guinevere and immersed herself in the study of magecraft. She crafted a fairy-like persona for herself and went into Avalon.
She turned Avalon upside down and still couldn't find that man.
"Oh, my king... I have come, but where are you?" she lamented, tears streaming down her cheeks. Despite having everyone and everything within her grasp, she had ultimately lost the one thing she desired most.
...
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