บท 12: Rebirth

"Aaaaahn."

"Aaaaaaaahn."

"Aaaahn."

"Come on Aisha! Say aaaaaaaaahn for me!"

Aisha chose not to oblige her mistress, instead stewing in her humiliation as she stared down into her lap, hands balled up and small. She tried to not acknowledge the orange slice in front of her, despite how good it looked. She tried to not acknowledge the hand that was holding it up, despite how pretty it was. She tried to ignore the arm around her waist, and the warm body curled up around her -

"Pleeeeease?" Lorian pouted. "I peeled this orange just fow youwwww...."

Aisha turned bright red at the baby talk. Honestly, she could understand the feeding, but...

"Why did you peel the pulp off?" She whispered meekly.

"Huh?" Lorian cooed. "Do you like the stringy parts?"

"N-no," Aisha muttered shyly, "But... why-"

"Coz I don't want to feed you anything but the best!" Lorian beamed, smiling brightly as she rubbed her cheek on the top of Aisha's head, simultaneously nuzzling and patting her, in a gross, ridiculously sweet show of affection, that made Aisha's tummy turn into an inferno.

Not even sure how to react, she couldn't help it as her lips parted to breathe heavier, a small little "auuu" leaking out of her mouth in pure brainlessness. And deciding that it was close enough, Lorian took the opportunity to slide the little orange slice into Aisha's mouth, caressing her jaw with the palm of her hand.

Aisha couldn't help but let herself be played like a puppet. It was less that she wanted to be good for her mistress, and more that - it just felt too good to resist. Even now, as those fingers danced along her jaw, she found herself unconsciously leaning into the hand, wishing so badly that they would go just a little up and start stroking. Just a little more, and she would feel so good...

Aisha burned with humiliation. There had to be something wrong with her. She was a grown woman, with a crush so bad she couldn't even look at her. She was sure that if she saw someone else as pathetic as her, she would have-

"Mmmm..." Lorian cooed taking a soft, affectionate breath as she closed her eyes, resting her cheek on Aisha's head. "Good girl... Good girl, Aisha... do you like it when I call you that?"

"Yeah!" Aisha yipped, a tidal wave of endorphins rushing through her body all at once, forcing her mind into happiness, into that lovey-dovey, infatuated puppy-mode, the only thoughts in her head of fluffy affection and love and affection and- "I like it! I... I..."

Aisha could feel Lorian's lips curl into a smile above her, and she hated everything, she wanted to slam her head on a sharp rock, she wanted to rip her hair out, anything anything to avoid the scalding, prickling humiliation in her chest -

"You're so cute." Lorian hummed softly, laughter welling up in her throat. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Aisha couldn't respond, her brain completely unresponsive. It was torture. Feeling so good, feeling so much happy feelings against her will.

"Do you still hate me, Aisha?" Lorian asked suddenly, a subtle, vulnerable wavering in her voice, that Aisha picked up on, her ears twitching.

Her first instinct was to say yes. Maybe it would get the girl off of her, and she would be rid of these accursed feelings, and the indignity that came with them.

But a part of her recognized... that for once... her words mattered. And she sensed that if she said "yes," she would change her relationship with this woman in a way that would be unfixable. And despite her insistence on attacking her mistress, both of them knew at this point, it was nothing serious.

She definitely didn't hate the woman, at the very least. Yeah... very least...

(Can you even hate someone you have a crush on?) Aisha wondered, biting her lip.

Gods, that was definitely information she couldn't give away to her mistress. She couldn't even imagine how the woman would tease her if she knew - and how much Aisha would enjoy it, how badly she would-

Aisha blinked rapidly to dispell those thoughts. She would confront those emotions... later. For now...

"No." Aisha mumbled softly. "I don't hate you..."

Aisha's mistress's body relaxed against her back, making the small girl aware of just how tense her mistress was previously, and how much more soft and cuddly she turned afterwards. Aisha herself let out a soft breath - perhaps she could, too, relax, push aside her self-awareness and just let herself rest, without thinking about... just how she was resting.

"Do you... Like me?"

Aisha almost let out a whine, the rush of emotions, the frustration, all welling back up in her chest. What an unfair question! Of course- no, she- fuck! Why -

"Yes, of course, stupid!" She snapped, before her eyes widened in horror. "Wait no! No I hate you, I- wait, no, I like... I -I- I- I... I- I- I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I-"

Lorian smiled her widest, happiest smile yet as Aisha hurled expletives at her laughing, giggling form, jumping out of her lap and pounding her little fists into Lorian's squishy thighs, chest and tummy, the soft flesh jiggling under her impacts -

"Aw!" Lorian choked out, forcing the words out through a combination of ticklish and mirthful giggles, as well as the uncontrollably happy smile on her face. "Aisha, I- kh - I like you to- EYAH!"

Lorian yelped, her eyes going wide, and her cheeks reddening into a blush as Aisha BIT her, her teeth nomming pitifully into Lorian's brassiere, not nearly strong enough to hurt her, but certainly unexpected enough to shock her out of laughing.

The two red-faced girls were left in an unconfortable stare, as a silence settled between them, broken only by the slight panting of both of their chests.

Lorian bit her lip as she gazed at Aisha's soft, pretty face, a bit of saliva dripping down her chin. She absentmindedly rubbed her breast where Aisha bit her - it still tingled... in a really good way.

She kind of wanted Aisha to do it again...

Aisha looked away to avoid eye contact, her ears twitching madly as her cheeks flushed crimson with embarassment and exertion. Mistress deserved it. Stupid woman. Should have... Aisha wasn't going to think avoid how she bit her mistress's boob like a dog. Nope.

"Sorry." Lorian said breathlessly, still blushing faintly. "...I... shouldn't have teased you."

"...Nyu." Aisha mewled.

"Apology hug?" Lorian offered, spreading her arms out wide, as Aisha scampered her way back into her bosom, wrapping her arms around Lorian's waist possessively, face burning with shame...

Aisha rolled to the right, dodging another beam of black light. She swung at Xelos's waist with her pale green short sword. Xelos dodged, raising his foot and kicking Aisha in the head, who turned her head at the last second, avoiding a fatal blow.

She was getting better at this. She still died... a lot, counting 245 so far. But the frequency of her death was getting lower and lower, and she had more and more opportunity to swing at Xelos more. He dodged every time, but every swing... brought her closer and closer to a hit. Yesterday, she had been a full meter away from his body.. Today... she had brought it closer to 90 centimeters.

Her jaw felt funny. It was dislocated. The fatal wounds didn't hurt, but these minor injuries she received when she dodged a hit hurt like hell. She welcomed the pain. Every jolt through her body was another death that she avoided. Speaking of death though...

A beam shot through her head, disabling her movements. It no longer blacked her out; it had turned into just an inconvenience. During these periods of death, she couldn't move her body, but she was aware... she was conscious. She could remain standing, too, no longer having to get up so often.

She had a strategy. Xelos could only kill her with the beam accurately, about one and a half arm's lengths away from him. If she stepped beyond that length, she could dodge them almost consistently. But if she did, Xelos would start to use his body to attack physically. His kicks and punches were undodgeable- they came faster than Aisha could even react, and almost without fail they would send her body into the stasis.

So she would skirt on the edge of the radius. She still died a lot, and she often stepped too close and took a hit, but it made sure that she would not be tanking a beam.

Well, in theory, anyway. She did not account for the fact that Xelos would also move. She had to strike a balance of pursuing him when he stepped back, and making sure she didn't take a melee hit.

Another slash. Another fist to the face. 246. She looked up at Chiel, who crawled over to heal her. She didn't know why she kept coming. Xelos was perfectly capable of healing him by himself.

Why did Xelos keep her al- urk!

The side of her skull was shattered, blood flying everywhere. She didn't have opportunity to think about those things. She had to focus on the battle.

Focus. Bait out a beam. Dodge. Attack. Retreat. Repeat.

As if sensing her complacency, Xelos began to change his attack pattern.

(Beam. Dodge. Attack. Ret-AARGH!)

As she stepped back to avoid the next beam, Xelos instead stepped forward, waiting for Aisha to finish her roll. His fist slammed into her head full force.

(Damn it! I almost forgot he could move... All he's been doing is dodging.)

Aisha quickly backtracked to get out of the range of his attacks. This, however, left her vulnerable to another beam.

(My strategy isn't going to work! Damn it! Even if I go to the new radius, I can't dodge the beam.)

Over and over, she died, she could no longer get any swings in, and she quickly began dying at the same frequency as before. She could not dodge the magic from so far away, but any closer and Xelos would overwhelm her with his vastly superior speed and strength.

She fell to the floor, her minor injuries piling up. Once again Chiel knelt over her, and the wispy white magic began to do it's work.

(haa... I don't know what I'm going to do.)

"If you're going to give up, I can remove the immortality field."

"I'm thinking."

"In a real battle, the enemy will not be as so generous as to let you lay down and think. Get up."

She began to stand.

"Don't worry! You managed to find a way to dodge the magic! You'll find a way to win!"

(Don't be stupid... dodging the magic required me to get into close range. Dodging the physical attacks is completely different.)

No... There had to be a way. Every fighting style had its limits. Surely there was a way to dodge extremely fast physical attacks. If there wasn't there would be no point to the exercise.

The magic also came out too fast to react to... How did she dodge it? She had looked at his finger to see where the attack was going. Observe her enemy... to look for a tell, a weakness.

It was easier said than done. She had to keep an eye on his hand, and now she had to split her attention to search his body for something that might not even be there.

A fist collided with her head. Death.

A beam pierced her heart. Death.

Move into his range, to bait a physical attack. There! As his hand pierced through her throat, she could see it. His shoulder would move slightly before an attack!

She backed up to the edge of where Xelos would start using the beam. She kept a eye on his shoulder, as he began to walk towards her. Left or right? If it was neither.. It would be a kick.

His right shoulder moved, and Aisha moved to his left side to dodge. Her head collided perfectly with Xelos's left fist.

(What the hell was that! He faked the tell? But his left didn't move either!)

(The tell is wrong! He was faking it!)

(But he must have used a fake tell only if he was trying to hide a real tell!)

She looked again, closer this time. Death after death...

His neck twitched. His eye moved. Neither of them were real tells.

This would never work. Unlike the magic, his physical attacks didn't have to move through some conduit. It was so frustrating... She could dodge the magic, but she couldn't dodge physical attacks, the type of attack she could actually perform.

A revelation suddenly came to her. That was right, if she could perform the same motions then...

Aisha made an experimental swing with her right arm, a look of intense concentration on her face as she really attempted to FEEL her own body moving, how the muscles contracted. Her back, her shoulder, her chest... each mudcle had to move in unison to swing... and if she concentrated harder, she could feel each muscle, every connection...

Aisha stood back up, narrowing her eyes. Her eyes locked onto Xelos's chest, watching the fabric of his shirt warp and bulge as he walked towards her. And when she saw the muscles tense...

By the end of the session, Xelos had began to start moving his entire body to fight Aisha. He moved masterfully, smoothly moving from one attack to another, with various turns to transition into the next movement. His coattails flowed wildly as his body moved to kill Aisha, moving almost too fast for Chiel to keep up.

Aisha was able to dodge, somehow, but her amateurish movements often ended up in her death, after an awkward movement put her in a position where her body was unable to move to dodge. She could dodge the first, but the second attack would often send her into the stasis. The problem was now not that they came too fast, but too frequently.

"You've died 2789 times today." He said casually, looking down at Aisha, like always, with that disdainful, lazy expression, as if he was watching an ant.

Aisha, in turn, sent Xelos a spiteful, frustrated glare. He hadn't even broken a sweat. Not that it was surprising, Aisha hadn't even gotten him to raise his hand above hip height.

Aisha was breathing deeply. Beads of sweat made their way into her eyes. Her vision was blurry, and she was so tired that even the fatigue-reducing magic could not hold her up anymore.

The next day, Aisha teleported in to see Xelos as usual, except…

He had a long, steel dagger in his hand.

Aisha warily took a stance with her swortsword.

(Damn… This sucks… I barely figured out the last time how to dodge... )

Xelos's fighting style had changed significantly. He shifted his weight constantly, moving fast as usual, but he would retreat after one or two swipes of the dagger, giving Aisha no time to attempt to counterattack. She had countless cuts and nicks on her chest, arms, face and legs.

(With the dagger, his range should only be slightly longer… but... )

He was using the same tactics as her. He would dart around, right at the edge of Aisha's range with her sword, which already was small, given her size. He would still cast the beams at her, but when she would get close he would slash her with the dagger, often leaving deep wounds in her chest. Unlike being killed instantly by the beams or his fists, bleeding out from the cut wounds was slow and painful. They stung as she bled, an undesirable contrast from the painless, easy death.

Aisha made a frustrated noise in her throat. Every time she got close to figuring out how to touch him, he would change his fighting style and she would have to figure it out again. She had no doubt that he wouldn't run out of styles - there were easily over 1000 different weapons in the world, and she only had a few over 300 days to train.

Xelos had said that at the end of the year, only one of them would be living. The message was clear. If she didn't kill him by the end of the year, he would kill her, in some kind of twisted graduation ceremony.

Aisha sighed bitterly. Every time it seemed like she was starting to get it, something would change, and she would be back to square one, just dying over and over again. It wasn't for a lack of trying, she was trying plenty hard, but she just couldn't seem to focus hard enough to adapt.

Success just seemed so far away, like always, and like always, those ugly thoughts resurface in her head, that had plagued her for so long.

It would be so much simpler if she could just use magic. She could have so many more options, so many more chances.

The desire to give up was overwhelming. What was the point of even trying, when the odds were stacked against her?

(I hate this.)

Like always, it was her own head that was holding her back. She just lacked... what, exactly? The ability? The willpower? The...

The desire.

That was it. She simply... lacked the desire to become stronger. What she wanted... was to live the life she thought the strong did. But never... she had never actually wanted to reach that life with her own hands.

The life of the strong... what did she even really want? To have people close to her? To have people look up to her? To gain the appproval of the elders?..

Aisha almost laughed. It was far too late for any of those things. Being strong for that reason... no, being strong wouldn't get any of those things in the first place.

Was that it then? She simply... lacked the motivation? Had no reason for continuing?

Maybe she really should just stop coming. Spend the rest of what little life she had... rotting. With mistress. Just lay in bed with her and sleep.

Yeah, that sounded nice.

Just relaxing.

The woman made a nice pillow. Easy to sleep on.

Soft. Smelled nice too. Aisha could admit that. It was just a fact, really.

Her voice was also... Aisha guessed it wasn't that bad. It was kind of nice. Especially when she spoke all soft and affectionate. It was soothing.

And of course the hugs. Soft and sweet. Yeah. Tight, too.

That sounded nice.

Really nice.

It would... it would be sad when it was over.

The nothingness, the cold... the look of anguish on her mistress's face.

She... didn't like that.

She didn't want it to end.

She didn't just want a year.

Aisha closed her eyes in acceptance. Yeah. That was what she wanted. She finally knew the answer to the question posed to her that one morning.

She didn't like her mistress. She loved her. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with her. She didn't just want a year, or even two years, or a decade.

Forever. She wanted a forever with her. That was the depth of her greed. An eternity, and maybe that still wouldn't be enough.

She wanted it so badly, her body burned. She wanted it. NEEDED it.

This was barely even a blip, in the life she wanted. A mere obstacle compared to what came after. For that purpose, she felt like - she felt like she could do ANYTHING.

"Remove the immortality magic." She muttered.