บท 137: If He Also Looked As Pitiful
A month passed. He dreamed of his fiancee who was softly telling the other him to sleep and take a rest.
Two months passed. He dreamed that she was injured after saving the other him and so he kept her in one of his villas. He resolved to build a safe environment for her.
Three months passed. He dreamed that she was crying because it was his turn to get injured.
Three and a half months passed, he dreamed that she was cooking a hot pot for the other him. And he, who dislikes spicy stuff still sat down to eat it.
Eventually, Lu Jingren who has gotten used to dreaming about the same girl for the past five months finally met her in person. After five and a half months of suffering from images that didn't make sense and only brought confusion and contradiction, Lu Jingren finally met his fiancee in person.
[Lilian, Lilian, come here.]
The other him in the dream often called her to his side a lot. That version of him was rather crazy. Seeing his fiancee in real life, she did not call out his name and treated him very distantly. It was very different. She was very different from the soft-spoken girl he had gotten used to dreaming about.
His fiancee treated the other him very gently and affectionately in his dreams but the person before him did not.
He was no fool. He knew from her face that she disliked him.
Why?
Lu Jingren did not know and he also did not want to know.
He was tired of asking every person that showed him disdain the reason why they hated him.
He did not feel disappointment or sadness. He was used to being condemned and so, he no longer expects anything from people. To him, it had become normal. Yet, he somehow felt a bit disappointed. Perhaps, because a small part of him had gotten used to seeing her demure and affectionate side.
This line of thought made him froze.
"This isn't good," he thought.
He convinced himself that this was simply him, being brainwashed by the things he saw.
At the moment, he only wanted to be in peace and maybe find a way to stop having those dreams.
So, he did not try to interact much with his fiancee. He gave her his name, just to hear what her voice sounded like while calling his name.
She made hotpot to thank them.
The smell of the dish was very familiar. It was as if he had eaten it before.
He sat down and picked up the chopsticks just to find out.
He was no longer surprised when he saw that he had emptied his bowl.
When she gave him a bottle of chocolate milk, his heart quivered and he felt an increase in his heartbeat.
At that time, he understood that he had some fate with her and that even if he wanted to separate, her existence was like a gravitational force that would keep him on his toes.
When she asked him for help, he did not refuse. When they went to ride the Marauder, he chose to sit beside her just to figure out if he would have the same reaction he had in his dream in real life.
He looked at her sleeping face that was very peaceful. She looked tired and in pain. He remembered that in his dream she would hold his hand everytime he was injured so he also went to hold her hand.
The hand of a woman was much smaller compared to a man. He looked at her small hand and little fingers.
He felt warm inside so he intertwined their fingers together.
[Sister Xi.]
He heard her say.
A stray tear fell on the corner of her eye. He moved to wipe it away using his thumb.
A dull pain began to bloom in his chest. Lu Jingren discovered yet another problem. He understood that seeing her cry made him feel pain much like in the dream.
A moment later, she sleepily opened her eyes while he stared at her.
He called her name.
"Lilian."
She called his name.
"Jingren."
"You were calling out someone named Sister Xi. Who is that?"
"No one important."
If it isn't important, then why did you cry? Why were you sad? Did it hurt? Lu Jingren wanted to ask these questions but he did not make any attempts to do so.
As soon as she tried to pull her hand away, he felt a pain in his chest, reminding him of their fate. His smile fell. He did not even realize that he was smiling.
Since when did he smile?
When was the last time?
The last time was thirteen years ago when his mother was still there.
He looked at his fiancee and felt a peculiar feeling inside.
He did not chase after her when she realized that she wasn't dreaming.
But he was dissatisfied when the warmth he felt disappeared. He felt like a cold empty vessel.
Then he met the child who was a mind reader. He was in a bad mood and almost killed the child because he sensed his ill intentions. In his mind, anyone who attempts to kill him should be killed. He did not want to die just yet so to live, one needs to be cruel. This was just one of the many things he learned while growing up.
The child revealed the truth to him so Lu Jingren did not harm him and decided to help him.
Lu Jingren was around his age when he lost his mother.
The child was rather pitiful. He wondered if he also looked as pitiful as this when his mother died.
Lu Jingren closed his eyes.
He would kill the child's mother for him since it was the child's wish. If he gets injured in the process...Then, this could only be blamed on him for being weak.
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