บท 78: Chapter 25.5: The shadow's response
Sorry to interrupt the story, but the author can't quite register the images of the story in her mind.
It looks like the author has been bitten by some kind of insect on the sole of her foot... again.
Lately, the author has been bitten by a lot of insects (or the same insect, but that might sound strange) in various areas of her skin.
Unlike Luz, the author does not bathe only when she is going out or there are strangers around.
What could the insects find in her, or rather, in her blood?
I shouldn't even mention that because I have zero influence on you. This is Luz's story not the author's. But the latter exerts a great influence on the story. I would guess that Lucifer and the wind will already be playing their cards in her mind.
It's all up to her, although I'm not sure she knows it.
Anyway, I heard over there that her mother had a vision of her. In this one, the author was very rebellious. Something along the lines of one of the parts of her favorite female artist's song, "You make me braver".
Yes, her mother has some dreams that seem more like visions and this is one of those cases.
In the vision, the author gives her mother the cold shoulder over a boy her brother insists is named Thomas.
Yes, her brother practices palmistry and he is only 15 years old.
I don't know why the author tells these things. Although something tells me that she is so afraid of her mother's very accurate visions that she thinks that, by writing her vision into the story, Lucifer or the wind will keep her from falling victim to a low passion.
I suppose the girl is as desperate as I am, but I am so for the present and not for a future that is not yet a fact.
She single-handedly ruins the draft of her uncertain future novel. Look at writing in chapter 24 only a YES.
I doubt she's going to find it weird to choke a little when she walks up the stairs or her chronic emotional instability. The wind and Lucifer having an effect on her.
Maybe she's used to that but from other people.
It's not that Lucifer or the wind can't filter what she writes. It's just that it is necessary for her to talk about the author in this chapter number 25.5.
It seems that in this story everything is necessity.
I don't know the exact reasons, but I know that it is not normal that, by touching the fire of the dragons (who walk like piranhas in the air), I can also see that vision regarding the author.
I am connected to Luz and not to the author, or at least not enough to see something of her future. What's more, the dragons raise their scales in point more than they did before and pass by me to graze me on purpose.
With the pointed scales raised, the dragons, instead of looking like dragons, I see them more like eyebrows of fire flirting with me.
What is the mastermind behind this planning?
To tell the truth, I have to confess that it is these pointed scales ("Eyebrows of fire" to me) that have just inscrutated themselves into my very soul.
It is not my body.
In the skin, pain can be mitigated, or rather forgotten, by being critical and funny at the same time.
The first serves to bind the wind, loves the minds that think for themselves, and this blows away the thorns or whatever is damaging the body.
The second is used so that, after the area has been freed of "thorns", the skin can recover with the help of Lucifer. It provides a healing heat to the skin.
I believe it is precisely this heat that caused a YES to be written on the glass wall where the almost 9-year-old Luz is buried under books.
A YES made of scars.
I don't know if this will affect little Luz in a bad way. For me, it has given me positive results by giving me back my precious body.
Although now it is torturing my soul because I am tormented by the frightened heartbeat of the rabbit.
First a dog and now a rabbit.
Is it not possible to receive something good here without also receiving the bad?
These damned eyebrows of fire don't want to leave me alone. I feel like I want to gouge my eye out. Which is impossible.
Does the author want an animal for an imaginary boyfriend?
No, in short, I'm not the one for that task.
To make matters worse I'm trapped, it's as if someone had stuck me on the neck of the dark being.
Well, literally, that's what happened, isn't it?
The rabbit's heartbeat shows me beings that I don't know completely and others that I know something about.
They look like blacker shadows than the lack of ideas in my head to get out of this mess.
Or is it that at this stage of the game I already consider it impossible to escape from two of the greatest gods of this universe?
It is sad to lose hope, but what can I do?
Maybe my purpose was not the right one.
Maybe it's another goal I have to have to get out of here once and for all.
Luz did that. According to her, she will no longer focus so much on tired and impossible dreams. Giving up hurts so much and surely that is also the reason why these thorns hurt.
After all, it is these thorns that allow me to feel rather than see the memory to which the books that the child threw at her have plunged her.
Although I doubt that the burden of the books hurts her more than the weight of that smile directed at her father after the slap.
"Are you hitting your daughter?"
A neighbor asks from her window.
Luz knows that gossip attracts her and that, even if that woman knew about a case of violence, it would only serve to feed her leisure time.
Pure entertainment.
"Excuse me, ma'am, but stay out of it."
Luz tells her and her father rubs Luz's little head.
"It's not what you think, ma'am. Forgive my daughter. She had a nightmare, she is sleepwalking and I saw no way to wake her up other than the one you already saw.
Can you believe I even threw her favorite books because I thought she was trying to get attention?"
Now they were both smiling broadly at their neighbor, who gave a sudden shudder. Which caused her to give a small smile and invite the other onlookers to go back to sleep.
But if Luz is stubborn there are others who can be even more so.
"We already thought he had left his wife and children..."
The father hated being criticized and being exposed to strangers.
"Gentlemen, it is not necessary for you to conjecture about me. Actually, I still need to raise more money, but he invited you to a barbecue tomorrow.
How about it?
Can I count on your presence and judge for yourselves, not only me.
You could also see that my family will always be together?"
So it was agreed and the father entered the house with Luz. Announcing that he would stay alone for the barbecue and then he would go to work.
"But that yes, do not believe any neighbor that this is going to be free. They will be tempted by the devil". The father's eyes sparkle with an unsuspected lividity. "I'll deliver the meat, but you, Mary, will sell them the beers and wines, for those who think they're uptown." He laughed mischievously as he imagined their faces unhinged from drunkenness. "These are drunker... and I know so much about beers and, especially, drunks."
A deep regret crossed his gaze for a moment as he stared at the floor and then met their eyes with an eager expression.
"We are made of needs, that's why tomorrow we become millionaires."
That night Luz could not sleep, she was determined to find the magic explanation to that slap her father gave her.
That story had to be ready for the barbecue.
She went downstairs to listen to some very possible private conversation between her parents. There he discovered that his two brothers had beaten him to it and were with their ears pressed to the door.
Although Flavia had Esteban by the collar to direct his left eye to the little hole in the latch.
"What are you forcing him to see?"
Luz whispers to Flavia, but her question was already answered as soon as she got close: her parents were doing it, so to speak.
Luz undid Flavia's grip on Esteban and took him away.
She knew Flavia wasn't coming. She liked to see that. She was always attentive and always caught them in the act.
In the shack, neither of them could sleep because of that.
Luz guessed that Flavia was already addicted to not sleeping.
"From now on I'm going to lock the door so she won't come in and disturb you.
Since when does she take you?"
Esteban shrugged his shoulders. Which for Luz meant that she always had.
How could she not have noticed?
Was she always so out of it?
Or did she just prefer to mindlessly ignore it?
Her questions didn't matter. Her brother burst into tears and Luz did not know how to comfort him.
"That's what they did to get us all. I always want to be the smallest. The most conceited and adored son. I don't want them to have another child like me."
Luz didn't expect that claim, but she understood. The same thing happened to her when Flavia was born. She saw her as a little enemy that would take away the little attention she already received.
That happened, as always with the youngest in the house; but she had to accept it, get used to it and continue suffering.
Which one did Luz choose?
"Mom is not going to have other children. Do you see how it is working out for her?
Do you have those comics that you like so much?
If you want, I can read you one and..."
The boy quickly shook his head somewhat frightened.
"What's the matter?
You love comics..."
Esteban confessed to him that the comics no longer existed because they were taken away by a very bad boy.
"So, what did he think... hey, you draw very well, how about drawing me a picture of that whippersnapper?"
Esteban shook his head and threw himself on the bed dejectedly. He lifted the sheet to cover his face, but Luz didn't let him.
"Tell me, you have to tell me why I'm the big sister, come on..."
At Luz's insistence, Esteban confessed that he could not see the boy because he was in the shadows.
"What do you mean, in the shadows?
Wasn't there an iota of light in the place?
Where have you been?"
Esteban wrapped himself in the sheet. He didn't want to answer because even he didn't have a credible explanation. But the silence didn't help him either.
"I was in the courtyard alone, I hid from the teachers so I could read quietly.
You know that at school they don't allow reading those comics. They say that comics are very violent, do you believe it?
I still can't read them that well..."
Luz asked her brother to stop trying to evade the subject at hand.
She stared at her room full of superhero posters. Her favorite was Spiderman.
This was the only nice thing in her room because Luz preferred standing than sitting on that mattress made of pure sponge. Once she lay down and supposedly fell asleep. She really just wanted to know the reason why Esteban was complaining to his mother and she to his father.
The result was the same as always. The father gave as an example what Charles Darwin said about natural selection: "He who adapts survives and you must survive like all superheroes, to succeed.
Think of it as a little training to endure adversity and be a superhero."
In the end, the mother, not hearing any more complaints, assumed that Esteban had gotten used to it.
It was all just habit.
"Good.
I sat down to read a comic book and saw in the grass the shadow of a boy a little taller than your size.
I swear I only looked at it for a second, but when I turned around the comic book disappeared.
I'm telling you the truth..."
Luz just hugged him and fell asleep on the sponge mattress.
It was certain that he wouldn't fall asleep there and he could think of an explanation for that slap.
What she didn't count on was that Esteban wouldn't be able to sleep either. He ended up reading comics about Greek mythology to him most of the night.
While I have to put up with the eyebrows of fire now pretending to form a full circle around me.
Lines of fire merge until they draw the sun, a circle of fire and lines that play the role of its rays.
These same rays hold and squeeze my arms and feet against the cross. My skin bristles and I feel a certain excitement. Slowly I feel a kind of adrenaline rush connects through my hair.
Images of all my adventures pass in front of me, the strange thing is that in all of them there is always the girl Luz watching me.
As far as I know, no one can run into the same person in so many lives. Of course, there are juvenile stories that speak of the reunion of two angels or a pair of soul mates who separate to meet again in each new life.
But, remember, I'm a cat and she's a human.
I love the adventure that reality means and she loves the hope that fantasy offers.
The only thing we have in common is the goal of survival. This is the common denominator of all people on earth. But the methods differ too much.
And is it the girl's method to make the fire consume me in a pain that is now more like an impulse?
An impulse to go into the arms of human hell. Into the arms of that conscience that has made her so unhappy. To go straight to her adolescent heart to revive it with a mewl.
I can do nothing for her. It is forbidden for animals to help more than what is allowed. Beyond letting us take care of them. Letting them run their sorrows through our fur with every caress, however careless.
Humans say that fire turns everything to ashes. But...
Won't the ashes be the input for the stars in the sky to be manufactured for the impossible dream of the wind?
And I think the wind wants to tear out my pupils. Its cold fights against the heat of this fire of the underworld.
So the cold comes from the sky?
Does the cold come from the light?
Could it be that the sky wants to help me get out of here?
The wind has agreed with the sky because I am a hindrance to it.
I should have suspected it since they started talking about this dark child or dark being. It is clear that it is the same one, so why make ourselves so mysterious.
I do very transparent, but here the most powerful always hiding and having their beam up to their sleeve.
Of course, among themselves they know everything; the donkey is the one who finds out in the end.
Forgive the donkeys, they don't deserve my contempt, but I have become very infected by humans.
I want to leave, obviously. It's just that I think I'm curious.
I'd like to think that it's the souls of my little children that have brought that cold from heaven. But I can't be blinded.
My little children can't stand light in any form. I don't want to think they've allied themselves with the wind. If so, they could pay a heavy price. By Lucifer, maybe so, I can't escape so quickly.
This must be a trap.
I feel as if my pupils are giving a strong blow to my vision. After a few seconds, nothing; a few minutes and nothing.
It's clear now, I've been knocked out of sight.
A certain Samson was left without strength when they cut his hair.
I was left without vision when I groaned at the injection of adrenaline on my fur.
I myself cut the energetic line that separated my targets from those of Light.
I always despised her desires. Or I saw them as too human.
I can now recognize these desires as wild dreams.
I know we have more in common than just the desire to survive.
But is it forced because I am now inside his mind?
Or is there really an excitement that unites us spontaneously?
If so, this hair-curling must be that elixir of vehemence.
Every thing I have discovered or touched I feel it in my fur and it pulls me forward.
But I can't let my little children pay for faults that are not even mine.
"Why are you so fond of the myth of Eris and her apple of discord?"
Luz went ahead with Esteban, while they chatted so as not to fall asleep and beat each other up on the asphalt.
Meanwhile, her mother was buying the daily ice cream for her sister Flavia. It was unfair that she only bought it for her, but they knew that Flavia would throw a tantrum if they didn't please her as much as possible.
"I don't know, I think because I like apples and I would fight for that apple. Besides delicious it belongs to a goddess, go figure."
In this last word, her brother tries to do the voice of the chavo del ocho. Although he doesn't succeed, his grimaces were always very funny.
Luz loved his imitations.
"Imagine she is the goddess of chaos.
Are you still interested in tasting the apple?"
Esteban looked at her quizzically, as if the answer was obvious.
They both watched as Flavia began to squeal and throw her morning tantrum because her favorite ice cream was missing.
"Guys, it's only a block away, from here I'll see you..."
Luz understood: the goddess of chaos was Flavia.
"At least Dad is hardly ever home. Better that he doesn't get in the way than that he does it with his own version of chaos. We have enough with Flavia... we have to run away."
Although Luz said it in a mocking tone to her brother, it pained her to say those words. She wished it was different. After all, she was getting used to the chaos.
Obviously, so was Esteban. He, at almost 7 years old, already laughed at his sister's tantrums.
They were both already children of chaos.
And now that he was watching his classmates enter the school, they exuded in their looks to be children of chaos.
The clear proof was when they crossed the entrance gate. Before the bell rang to start classes they would always chase after a child. That was why when he entered his classroom it was almost empty.
And tomorrow her chair would be empty.
Almost all the "nerds" were seated there. A couple of them were missing.
Now there would be two guinea pigs?
That day the art teacher told them that this time the class would be in the school's projection room.
Not only would it be a class of their class, it would be a class of all the classrooms. It was World Art Day and the school had to celebrate it somehow.
Besides the principal was the art teacher.
That day they were going to see a small projection of classic cinema.
But the teacher focused on two titles that for her were unforgettable and indispensable: Rebel Without a Cause and The Breakfast Club.
She took a break for the students to go to the computer room.
The teacher wanted them to research as much as they could in an hour about the movie and the context.
The reason these movies are considered classics.
But she warned them not to watch it because it contained situations that were still difficult for 9-year-olds to understand.
There was no need for him to give them that warning, though. In any case, all of the school's technology equipment was on excellent security software. These filtered the content displayed by the computers.
It didn't get lost, did it?
In the computer room, there was no light other than that emitted by the computers, redundancy notwithstanding.
That's exactly why it was a favorite place for certain children to play rough with other children.
In that room, certain children hit Luz's head with the notebook they had in their hands.
And later her mother thought that Luz had a strong migraine.
I wish she had at least a little migraine; then it would be easier for her to keep her eyes open.
The darkness always invited her to sleep. But that day darkness had the upper hand.
Until she read a number 24 in the biography of the leading actor James Dean.
Suddenly she heard laughter next to her.
Simultaneously, the drawing of Mickie Mouse appeared above the information she was reading.
"What's the matter?
Who are you?
Answer!"
The whole room told her to be quiet, including the teacher. She warned her to be quiet or she would fail the course assignment.
So she did, but the darkness would not be quiet.
"Do you have any favorite comic books?
This one about horror stories doesn't move a hair on my head."
Light understood that this was the same shadow boy who took Esteban's comic book away from him.
"Give me the bully comic.
Who of all the bullies are you?"
It was hard for Luz to speak softly because her voice was always so high-pitched. But she had to be able to.
It was one thing for them to pick on her and another to pick on her brother.
Besides, that comic was not his brother's. He stole it from the meanest kid in his living room out of revenge.
She saw when Esteban stole it, but she understood his reasons. That's why she didn't say anything to him and pretended she didn't know anything.
Now that one of them knew, Esteban was in danger. However, in the face of a bully one should not show a loss of control. Even more so if it was a bully whom Luz could make cry.
She was a woman, but she was the biggest and strongest in her room. That made her be bothered, but not so much physically. It was more of psychological damage.
She supposed that what her mother told her about her appearance at birth must be true: "Everyone laughed and I laughed too. You were so big, you were all puffed up like a balloon. You looked like one of those baby-version juice competitors. You weighed almost 10 pounds..."
She wasn't so inflated anymore, but she was still sturdy and a little taller than her peers. That commanded, if not respect, some doubt as to the strength she possessed.
"I wouldn't be here, but you messed with my honor and you're going to pay for it."
Luz did not understand anything. He hoped this was an attempt to annoy her and make her fail the course. She cared about going out undefeated (or she'd be dealing with her father), but if that paid off her brother's debt for stealing the comic book.
It was certainly a blessing that punishment.
Maybe he thought she was the thief. All the better.
"Who told you I stole your comic book?"
Luz asked to confirm if he believed it was her.
"What?
Do you still think I'm one of the school bullies?
No offense to me, I have the heart of a prince."
Luz thought she was already going crazy and that didn't scare her.
If the darkness was talking to her, that was fine. Maybe it was looking to help her magically explain yesterday's slap from her father.
Why think wrong?
"And according to you, what did I do to besmirch your honor?"
Luz was amused to ask that question, even more so trying to speak in whispers. But she had to hold back the urge to laugh or she was going to flunk at her own fault.
"Don't you remember that you murdered a doe?" it was something so surprising that it left her in shock. "You did what I didn't and I paid a heavy price. It's not fair and I detest injustice.
Do you know why I didn't want to kill that doe?
Have you ever been in love?"
Luz listened to her heartbeat slowly descend. Softly these seemed to reach deep inside her.
It was as if someone was stepping on her chest with feet made of clouds. And at least you feel something, that tread is that something that reminds you that you have a heart that wants to burst.
A soft and invisible criminal was sinking her chest to remind her to protect her humanity to the rhythm of soft rock.
Soft rock is made of melodies created by a soft criminal, the dark being.
"I think we all fell in love for real once, but I guess no one can remember.
When we're babies and we don't know anything but dreaming. They are the only ones who might know that word.
What could it be that's in their minds?"
The shadow boy didn't know what to answer because no their conversation wasn't going that way. Although, after all, maybe it did have something to do with it.
He and she stood in silence for a few seconds. Deep inside, they each sought to remember, but it was an impossible dream.
Luz only remembered the envy she felt when her mother breastfed her siblings. They looked so comfortable there. But they would never remember.
All that was left was to imagine.
Then, a stabbing pain pained her heart. This was not a premonition, this was a certainty: The possible offspring of that doe will never feel what it means to be in love.
At least Luz had the consolation that, although she would not remember it, her heart and soul were once at peace and in love.
But she took that comfort away from the doe's potential offspring. She wished it wasn't really what she thought.
But the reality is harsh.
"The possibilities that might have been in their minds is what I fell in love with when I was too small.
Curiosity... and now you've taken that away from me.
You took away the possibility of their offspring feeling the love.
Maybe the hatchling's mind wouldn't remember it, but her skin would.
There's a reason people seek each other out to do things, isn't there?"
He had never seen his parents do anything, but many of his classmates talked about such things in class. Besides, yesterday he'd heard "stuff" in Luz's parents' room, too.
It was as repulsive to him as it was curious to some of his classmates.
Hearing about it once was enough for him. Therefore, if he did not convince them to play, he would do anything by himself.
Anything not to go crazy.
However, he chose the wrong girl... because Luz gives solutions to go crazy.
"What do you want me to do?"
She says, slurring her words.
"In the forest, I lost my honor, there I will regain my honor.
See you in 10 minutes."
Luz hated being forced into anything. She wanted to do things on her own. But she supposed that, if the dark being was in on it all, she should take heed without protest.
But her heart would protest as he would not imagine it would.
สถานะพลังงานรายสัปดาห์
-- การจัดอันดับด้วยพลัง 
-- หินพลัง