บท 99: Chapter 99-The Choice
A week had passed since the meeting with the Empress, nothing much had happened, Since I would be attending Babylon Academy soon, I was placed under several teachers, who was assigned to teach me the several things I had missed during my travels
You can enter the Babylon Academy through the normal test way or the special noble enrollment test, where strength is not only the one that maters, you also have to be academically gifted
It's not mandatory to take this route but the nobles, they are always trying to one up another, trying to prove that ones better then the other, so because of this here I am stuck being taught
Leaving that aside I have made good progress with the Empress, though we can't physically meet all the time, I still contact her when I have time or send her some gifts without anyone knowing
The problem here is my mother, I could see that she has started to actively not try to meet me, thinking about it, it's quite normal, the first time she had a sexual dream about me, she could attribute it to a one time thing, but for it to continue for a week?
Now she has to take the possibility that she desires me, this must have really spooked her, I also have the feeling that the reason she's pushing all this study load onto me was to reduce my time, maybe she thinks that she could find a solution with some more time?
I had just finished my studies and I am right now heading to my mothers study room, I had already before hand contracted Clara to keep mom on her room, to prevent her from making any excuse
Without knocking I entered the room, getting inside I could see mom in a pile of documents looking through it, hearing the door open she raised her head and looked up, seeing me her eyes widened, panic came over her a bit as she turned her eyes aside
"I-Is there anything you need, son?"
Her voice was a bit shaky as if trying to hide a bit of her nervousness, I walked up to her table with a smile as I spoke
"Do I need a reason to come and meet my amazing mom?"
Hearing my words mom smiled yet a hint of guilt passed through her eyes as she spoke again
"It's no problem, I am just a bit busy now, maybe we would talk later?"
"NO!"
My high pitch voice sounded out in the room, causing mom to jerk in surprise she looked at me as I sat in the chair in front of her, my face had a angry and betrayed expression, I rammed my hand into the table
"Mother!, tell me!, tell me what I did wrong, tell me do you hate me?"
"No, I-I"
Mom shouted out when I asked her if she hated me, a look of pain flashed through her as she saw my betrayed expression, seeing my disappointed expression her heart clenched
"Then why mother?, why are you avoiding me?, why are you only focusing on you work after I came back?, do you not really trust me to tell me about what's troubling you?"
My face became even more pained as I continued to speak
"I thought that after we spend our time together we grew closer, I just wanted to make you happy mother, I-I just wanted to see you smile and laugh and yet you don't trust me enough to tell me why you are avoiding me?"
"Mother do you really think I am an idiot?, do you think that I can't see that you are avoiding me!, you even went to the extent of increasing your work not to see me!, huh.....looks like I am not much to you mother"
"No it's nothing like!, I love you with all my heart, it's ju-just"
"Just what?"
I looked at her my eyes threatening to leak with tears, mom looked at me, she hesitated but in the end she didn't say anything as she lowered her head
"I see..."
My voice was hoarse as I spoke, a tear fell down my eyes, as I rose up and walked to the door, my shoulders were drooped, seemingly desolate and saddened
"A-Austin!!"
Mom called out for me from behind, I looked back at her my eyes falling with tears, I didn't say anything as I walked out of the room
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Grace POV:
I saw helplessly as my son walked out from my room, tears were falling down from his eyes and he was very hurt I could see it, he was disappointed in me, seeing him look at me like that my heart bled, I wanted to run up to him yet I couldn't, after he had left the room, I sat back on my chair a single tear fell from my eyes
'Why?, why did things become like this?'
It was only after a long time that I had finally had a chance at being so happy, yet why had it gone away, what did I do wrong?, why did I have to fall in love with my own son???
It had all began more than a week ago, when my son had returned I was so happy, each and every part of my body was filled in happiness at seeing him all well and good, the years I didn't see him were the toughest
After my husbands death I had felt a part of me die along with him, all that was left to me was my children's and a huge dukedom to handle but I didn't despair, I was the only one that could protect them, so I buckled up and took things to my own hands
Even though it was hard, even though it hurt I never complained, I didn't give up nor did I cry, I wanted to be strong at least for my children, but somehow I ended up becoming alienated from my children's, seeing it I had dived even harder into my works trying to hide my pain
But I didn't think that Austin would be the one that would bring our broken family together, after the incident with my husband he had grown reclusive, I was worried about him but I had no idea what to do, yet it was my dear son that had brought my almost broken family together
Ever since then I had vowed not to lose them again, not to be afraid, yet sorrow struck me again, my two daughters were dying of their bloodline awakening and I couldn't lose them not again, by sacrificing my power I had planned to save them both but even then it was not sure
With my limited power I could only save one of my daughters, how could I choose only one of my daughters to survive?, it was when despair had again started to cloud me that my dear son had stepped in again
There again I could only helplessly watch my son sacrificing his life to protect my daughters, seeing it my heart hurt, that time when I had seen him almost dying I had felt my whole world falling down, I had thought that I would lose it all but they survived
The day when he talked with me and presented me the necklace I had felt the load that was on me release, at that time I had truly felt blessed but that night I had that dream about him, I couldn't accept it
What kind of mother am I if I had such a dreams about my son?
I had thought it was a one time thing, yet that date I had went with my son on, that had changed everything, somehow that day was the best one I had in years, that day my heart had never calmed down, that day my feelings for him started to change into something else
Each moment I spend with him seemed to fill my life with happiness, the day I sat with him in that hill, everything had changed, the part I felt that had died seemed to awaken
I tried to suppress it but it broke through despite all my effort, that day it all changed, when I had first found out about my feelings I panicked, how could I have such a feelings about my son?
I felt afraid and scared, I felt disgusted with myself due this, I felt scared thinking about how Austin would think about this if he got to knew, will he disgusted with me?, the feelings I have is wrong but why?, why can't I not stop this feeling
I love him so much, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him
'What's wrong with me?, why am I so disgusting?'
I curled up in my chair, as I held my head down, tears fell down as I cried
'What should I do?'
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