บท 48: Willing to admit

Learning that Sophia had kept seeing Raf should be enough reason for her to let go of him. There should be nothing else stopping her from jumping into another relationship, except him.

No matter how much she tried to forget Rafael Walker. Something always pulled her back to him. It was as if fate was playing a game of chess, and she was the pawn.

Besides the time he saw him in the elevator and the club with Sophia. She was constantly reminded about him, like when he saw a Labrador dog on the street or anywhere, or someone mentioned the same name, or even simply.

"Sabrina, do you need anything else before I go?" Amy broke her reverie as she stared at the window outside of her apartment.

She already brought her the supplies she needed. Updated her with her schedule for the week. She could not think of anything else she would need her for.

"No. I think I have everything I need. Maybe just notify the lobby to send Sophia up when she arrived." She instructed. "Thanks, Amy." She added before she exited her apartment.

She continued to stare at the sun, which was about to set on the horizon behind a tall building. Another reminder of the times they had spent watching the sunset on the island.

It seemed that there was no way for her to forget him. Despite convincing herself that Edward was a good guy and possessed most of the qualities she liked in a man, she could not find herself falling in love with him. Not anytime soon. She could not feel the same desire that she felt when she was with Raf.

Finally, she was being honest with herself. She loved Raf and probably would love him till the day she died. It was a futile effort on her part to convince herself that she would be able to forget him. Seeing him with Sophia was proof enough of how affected she was by losing him.

"Finally, I thought I will be leaving for Paris without seeing you." Sophia greeted her with a warm hug as soon as she opened the door.

"Of course, I can never do that to you." She loved her friend, but she did avoid her invitation to go out with her and Raf on a double date.

It was enough to know that she was dating her ex-boyfriend. Secret ex-boyfriend, she corrected herself. To see them together kissing or hugging would be torture for her.

She prepared a simple dinner that they could share in front of a movie. A tradition that they started when they were young. A tub of ice cream for dessert was their dirty pleasure. Afterward, they would work their butts out to burn the calories they just indulged in.

"Tell me. What's happening between you and Doctor Love?" Sophia sat on the sofa crossed-legged as she set a movie they agreed upon on the screen.

"Doctor Love?" She questioned, intrigued with the nickname. Sophia had a very imaginative mind.

"He's a heart doctor, right?" She stated as if that was the brightest thing she had said. "So, he fixed hearts so it can fall in love again." She placed both of her hands on her chest, pointing to her heart while acting dreamily.

"Stop that. He fixed actual heart conditions, not broken hearts. Hahaha." She sarcastically said to her friend as she threw a small pillow in her direction.

"That hurt." Sophia acted dramatically as the pillow hit her on the head. "Ok. Kidding aside. Any progress between the two of you." She finally turned to her serious side.

"We are still seeing each other if that is what you wanted to hear." She sighed before sitting down beside her. Imitating her position.

"But…" Sophia switched her position so that she was now facing her instead of the tv. She could sense that there was more.

"There's no but." She claimed, ignoring her friend's inquiring gaze.

"Sorry, but I don't believe you. What's wrong with him?" Her friend grabbed a piece of the steak on the table and bit a big chunk of it. If guys could see what a starving model looked like when they eat, they would be disgusted. She also took a piece of the meat and nibbled on it.

"He's perfect." She answered, standing up to get a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"Then, what's wrong with you?" Sophia grabbed the wine from her, opened it, and poured each glass almost to the brim.

"I like him, but I don't think I can learn to love him." She admitted to her friend.

"What's stopping you? Are you still in love with Brad?" Sophia had to ask. It was the only logical explanation why her friend could not move on.

"Of course not. Brad and I are long over." She put a pillow in front of her and sat back on the sofa, focusing her eyes on the movie. "What about you? Are you getting serious with Rafael?"

She bit her lip, knowing that she made a mistake. She had told herself that she would avoid as much as possible any conversation about him. But, in her haste to divert the topic away from her, she found herself trapped in her own doing. Then again, she could not avoid the topic forever.

"Nope. We decided that we were better of as friends. As I told you before, my priority right now is my career. I could not do a long-distance relationship." Sophia mumbled on, but all she heard was they were just friends.

She was not sure if she wanted to jump for joy or cry in despair. She wanted to be sad for her friend because as far as she was concerned Raf was a good catch. Her friend would be lucky to be with a man like him, but she chose to give him up.

However, she also felt glad that they did not work out. It would save her the heartache of seeing her friend and him together in a happy relationship. Then again, she could not deny that there was more to it than she was willing to admit.