บท 43: Chapter 43
I felt my world stopped when he suddenly leash out the first sentence from his mouth.
"Not because I don't love you anymore, but because of me. There's something wrong that we both can suffer because of my love. My love was not selfless like you. I'll be the one who became possessive and protective. And I am scared that will lead to miss -understanding. And I know that it's too late for me. I know that it's advance but we can still try if this will work again and changed my mind after." I can feel that he keeps fighting not to cry in front of me again like last time.
"I'm hoping for you, but I'm losing hope for myself. You know that I just wish that we have time machine so I can perfectly changed about my old self. I always regret for leaving you just to get fooled. And even sacrificed myself just to keep you safe but it turns out to be wrong. Because after that, they used me and trapped me. They only want is me, they're not interested to warn you, but only fooled me because they know that I'll sacrifice myself and give in just to keep you safe." His tears kept falling into his face and I could also see him trembling.
"You should know about that, you should know-"
"I know." He cut me off. "But I'm still human, I'm not perfect Krish. So please understand me with this if ever things will won't work anymore, I'll be gladly to know showing myself to you anymore until I fully forgive myself for what I've did."
"I'm sorry, for not even thinking to help you out. To not even read your emotions inside, and to not help you get out of that trapped. I'm sorry if I only think myself, not finding some answer why you suddenly became cold and left me without hesitation. I should've known about that, I was working on that. Maybe, we both had failed to protect each other. But we can protect at each other for the second time if you said that we'll try to work on the things again. We can start all over again this time." I smiled at him and gave him the assurance that I'll accept his offer.
He step closer and hugged me tightly. I hugged him back with the smile on my face. "I missed you." He whispered amd kept thanking me after.
"I miss you too." All I can do is to answer him with honesty.
We're okay after that but the awkwardness is still there. We let each other go when our friend's started to swim at the beach. Nagpunta na din ako kaila Chloe at hindi nagpa halata sa kanilang nag usap kami. Pero mukhang alam na nila yon dahil nakita nilang naka sunod sa akin si Lex.
I still don't want to open up with them. Ayoko lang na umasa sila. But we still try to fix our issue and I just hope for the best.
"I saw you two talking, what's your plan?" Desiree talked when I removed my long sleeve white blouse.
Iyon na nga ba ang hinihintay ko. "We'll starting over again, but. " I used the word 'but' so they stop hoping. "But I only accept because this plan we can found out if we continue to be each other or not. Ayoko na din umasa pagka tapos nito. I'll just go with the flow."
"Alright, we'll still support you if ever. But I still hope for the best. Bagay nga kayo e. Sana naman magkaroon kana ng ka end game mo para masaya lahat." Kinikilig na sambit ni Chloe kaya napangiti na lang ako.
"It's not always about that." Sambit ko pero hindi na nila pinansin ang sinabi ko nang magsimula na kaming mag picture together.
May solo pic pa at ako talaga ang hinuli nila. I was a lottle embarrassed because I can feel it in my eyes that he was staring at me like I was a hot species.
"Hot momma! Pwede na maging model for magazines!" Pagbibiro nila maya hinampas ko sila matapos nila ako picturan.
Ang dami pang pose na ginawa nila bago kami maligo sa dagat. I was busy to float myself under the water when I felt his hands wrapped around my waist and catch me from falling. Nagulat pa ako kaya napahawak ako sa dibdib ko sa lakas ng tibok ng puso ko.
"Ano kaba! Wag ka mang gu gulat dyan." Hindi ko sinasadyang mahampas sya kasama ang tubig kaya tumama iyon sa mata nya.
"Aww!" Reklamo nya at napahawam sa mata. Nag panic agad ako at hindi alam ang gagawin. Lumapit ako sa kanya at tinanong kung saan banda iyong masakit.
"Sorry! Ikaw naman kasi!" Reklamo ko pero napatigil nang may maalala. It was like a deja vu for me but I ignored it. We're okay, I shouldn't be scared because this time, we're not alone. We have friends with us.
Sinubukan kong ihipan ang mata nya at basain ng clear water na inabot ni Scott. I thanked him after seeing that he was okay now.
"Ano, ok kana ba?" Hindi ko maiwasan ang mag alala nang tignan nya ako nang matagal.
"I'm fine, I was just protecting your body. Your cleavage show a bit. I just want to protect what's mine." He was so straight forward after he said that.
My face heated out of embarrassment as I tried to fix my swimsuit. His tone is like a possessive man, I don't think he was possessive before. He was true to his words huh? Pero bakit nya kailangan pang sabihin yon sa harap ko?
"O-okay." I didn't know what I say so he chuckle a bit before fixing his hair. I guess that he shaved because I still remember his face yesterday. He's clean now and I can see clearly his handsome face. "Staring now, are we?"
Nagising ako bigla sa mga iniisip ko. Tatalikuran ko na sana sya dahil nahihiya na ako sa harap nya nang tawanan na naman nya ako. I missed his laughter like before. And it was like we came back at each other's arm na lara bang wala kaming pinagdaanan pareho.
"Hey stop, I'll ask you a question." He told me before he force me to face him.
Tumaas ang kilay ko. Naghihintay ng sasabihin nya. "Ano yon?"
He stared at me deeply like he was searching through my soul. "Do you know what 8 letters?"
"What?" I asked.
"The women always wanted to hear." He replied.
My brows furrowed, confused by his answer. Ano ba ang gusto nyang iparating at bakit ayaw na lang nya sabihin ng deretso sa akin?
Ako na yung nahihiya dahil ramdam ko ang tingin ng mga tao sa amin. I squeeze his hands and make an eye contact. I felt so uncomfortable because he keeps looking at me like he wanted to laugh because of my clueless face.
"Do you want to hear it? Because if it's yes then you'll deserve it from me. I was once told you that but I wasn't sincere back then and I'm sorry for that." He still creating his reasons.
"Ano nga yon? Bakit ba ayaw mo nalang sabihin para matapos na-"
I was cut off when I felt his lips in mine. I was surprised that I was stunned in my position when his lips started to move. I was hypnotized and automatically closed my eyes and kissed him back. He has a same taste like before when he touch my body to pull him closed enought to have a moment kiss.
"I love you."
I felt the unknown emotion inside me when he said it. "That's the 8 letter from you. We can start over orive with me after this. I promised that I can change and deserbe to have your second chance if we work it again."
My smile never faded and afternoon came when we go back to the Philippines. My friend's won't stop teased me because I was smiling all day. I can finally breathe without feeling heavy in my chest. Maybe this is all I want? But I still can't answer my self because of the feeling overwhelming.
After arriving in the Philippines, it was evening already and good thing I was sleepy and it's time. I agreed to meet him tomorrow to have a first date like we were on dating stage.
Kinabukasan ay maaga ako nag ayos since he wanted to have a breakfast, lunch, merienda and dinner with me and play at the time zone. I was wearing a simple off shoulder dress above my knees and a one inch heels before taking my purse with only wallet and cellphone.
Every good person or even the person regrets till now the past deserves a second chance. And this chance will remain continue to our journey. Maybe this time, he will not waste it and he will proved something while we are still in half way to heal ourselves.
We arrived at his restaurant. It was bigger this time. I can't believe that we will go in his restaurant again. I smell some coffee and bread when we enter and the waitress server us a seat near the glass window before looking at the menu to take our orders.
"Hindi ako makapaniwalang dadalhin mo ulit ako dito." Sambit ko nang makapili kami ng order namin.
He started at me and chuckled. "Of course, you're the first person enter my restaurant and taste our new menu."
"And I'm the first saw you with a woman." I said it coldly, planning to joke him but he seems taking it seriously.
"I'm sorry." I immediately saw a fear in his eyes and hold my hand like I was planning to ditch him.
I pursed my lips as my face turns to serious. I didn't know what to do anymore. After that scene, I kept my mouth silent and only talking about our positive in the past.
After eating we only listening to the music, I was so clueless were to go until we stopped on the Max's Restaurant to have a lunch. We are enjoying our company together and after eating lunch, we go to the mall for window shopping but not planning to buy anything.
While we are doing the holding hands together, he keeps caressed my finger and I find it weird but I just shrugged it off, maybe he wiped something.
"I'll just look around, wait for me outside." He told me and I nodded as a kid. I was waiting for him, finding the answers if we should just go to the flow or planning something?
I was so scared that he might think that I'll be the one planning to leave him this time. He has too much trauma and it's still haunt him. I don't know what will I do because I'm still on the same page as him. I still have doubts and it will still haunt me but I still choose to be a positive.
We played at a time zone the whole afternoon until it's dinner time and skip merienda because we distracted to the game. We laugh together and he also gave me a small teddy bear.
I can see the city light when we ate dinner at the tall building hotel. It was so peaceful and after eating, we go to the roof top to have a fresh air.
"Did you enjoy the date with me?" He asked while we are in the railings, freely looking at the view.
"I am. And I hope there's still next time. It will work." I said not minding where he was doing.
Minutes passed and he still not talking until I turned around and saw him bending his knees and show me the box of diamond ring. I was surprised at the same time wanted to cry in front of him.
"I know that it's still early to propose this but I won't really gave it to you unless you're ready to accept me to your whole life again. And I'm not planning to came back to me forcely or proposing you to make things work. I wanted to gave you this and I'm the one who will wear this to you, if you will say yes to my proposal. For now, I'll give this box with a ring in it. To show you how much I still love you, to beginning of an end. It's still you for the past 7 years. I only love you and found out that I'll mary you while we are on a half way of healing." He said with an emotional one and I can't stop my tears from falling. Falling in happiness and overwhelm at the same time. He stood up and closed the box before handing to me. "I even thought that I love the other person, but found out it's only you. I wanted you to be my first and last love, not forcely."
I'm, Leiden Xord Almante, ready for marry you and willing to wait until you're ready."
To be continued...
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