บท 126: Contradicted by Reality

Life is not fair. Everyone is given completely different things by God.

To struggle because you chose to is bravery. To struggle to survive is brave, yet also cruel. To struggle and sink is pain beyond measure.

I had been doing what I could. Struggling was how I grew. It was my reality. My myths were trying to get me to that point of getting what I wanted. I couldn't have what I wanted.

I still can't.

With the morning came a quiet sorrow, easily overcome by the melting snow below the sunshine. The day moved on until the afternoon and then the first signs of the anxiety arrived, a discomfort in my chest, every feeling set in deeper. Then, the unpleasant sensation grew stronger into the evening as my mental faculties gave way to my emotions. By night, the sadness welled up, uncertainty rushed to my core, and I knew it was time to sleep again.