บท 8: 8. We are not two strangers
NOTE
★ Initiative: This story participates in the "Tana Libera Fill WEEK" event by We are out for prompt
★ Prompt / Track: # 3, Bellamy / Clarke, "I don't want us to be two strangers again." By Glass Heart
And so Clarke stood in a corner watching him, it had been far too long to have even the presumption that she was important, half as much as he was to her.
Bellamy felt her gaze on him, he didn't need to turn to look at her, he knew it was her because that warmth that only Clarke felt could transmit it to him.
Echo kept talking, he nodded absently and when she slipped her hand into the boy's, she just shook, she was so imperceptible that she didn't even notice, but he felt guilty. By now he was getting used to it, she could not say anything and, even if her heart broke every time she saw him next to her, she swallowed the lump in her throat, turned her back and left.
"Hey, Clarke you know ..." and, Madi started talking in bursts, she didn't stop when her gaze changed or, when with her nervous hands she placed them on her shoulders and tried to get her attention .
Seeing her so happy had no equal, in those six years of solitude he had learned a lot, her life depended on that of the girl and vice versa, but being there, with her friends, her mother and her family ... Well, she couldn't describe it .
"Are you listening to me?" Suddenly she stopped and asked, Clarke answered with a single nod of her head, she couldn't speak, she was still thinking about the way Echo and Bellamy had touched each other, the way they talked or behaved and that look that before it was aimed at her.
Madi frowned, she hoped that seeing everyone together would allow her to have some peace, the same one she had been looking for for a long time, but even she could not crush the demons that haunted her.
The girl turned her gaze to the people in the room, she lingered on her friendly faces and she looked for him with her eyes and as soon as she saw him she understood him. Clarke shook herself when two of her small hands held hers and were dragging her out of her, out in the open to take in the air she seemed to miss.
"Why did you do that?" about her he found himself asking the blonde with fake reproach, she was about to reply but Madi's eyes were reflected in her and she knew that she too had followed her train of thought.
"I know it's complicated, it's not what you thought, but we've just had a long battle, we've managed to survive, once again and you don't think ..." but she shook her head, Clarke put her hands on her shoulder, then he raised his mind with his index finger and thumb so that their eyes were on the same length and spoke.
"Madi I only told you part of the story, even if I wanted to and I'm not saying that, he's with Echo, we're a long way from what we were before and ... Yeah, we've never messed up before why should we do it now?"
"Because now you are stronger, because you have been so far away as to survive one without the other and at the same time finding strength for the other. Life has also divided your paths, it has pushed you away more times than it has brought you closer, but ... It has always brought you back into each other's arms "said the girl who, with that speech, could have done a lot of hat. to adults. She looked up and down, surprised her more every day, she was about to add more, but she couldn't, Madi looked at her and pushed her to make the first move.
As soon as she returned Clarke had decided to walk a bit, she had to clear her mind of her especially she tried to get Madi's words out of her head, which echoed and tangled her thoughts.
He remained to admire the starry sky, the way in which the blue mixed with the black or, the way in which the stars arranged themselves on that mantle as if to tell a story.
She was so immersed in that vision, bewildered in what she wanted or what she felt that she didn't notice footsteps approaching and a figure standing just behind her.
Clarke stirred, just enough for her to feel her presence, she didn't need to turn around, she had known her scent, the same one that had remained on the shirt she had tightened for six years.
Bellamy took a few more steps forward, her heart was beating madly, her hands trembled to touch her and stop to surround her waist and her lips, the ones she often nibbled out of nervousness were the same ones she wanted to kiss.
She sighed, sagged her shoulders hoping to dampen her agitation and nervousness, but she did nothing but allow her body to touch Bellamy's strong and muscular chest.
He leaned towards her ear giving Clarke the opportunity once again to smell her fragrance, to push her chest against his shoulders and when a soft sigh from her touched her ear, she she felt lost.
"I don't want us to be two strangers again," he whispered slowly, without getting lost and articulating the words well, showing her that she was not alone with her heart in turmoil, her head full of thoughts and those emotions she could not name, feeling guilty just for trying them.
The chills pervaded her, her body stiffened in the same way it relaxed, feeling him so close sent her brain haywire, made her stop breathing, accelerated her heartbeat and her cheeks turned bright pink .
"We could never be" clearing his throat and shrill voice she admitted, but that statement was not enough for him, she could see it in his eyes, yet he could not find something more correct to say.
"But I see how you move away and ..."
"And that's right, we're no longer alone and there are two other people who depend on us, so ..." she drawled the last words, tried to speak clearly, confidently but her voice cracked and betrayed her.
"We have to pretend we barely know each other, that we don't have a great story behind us and that ... things aren't that damn complicated?" Bellamy asked in a hard voice, her heart aching from the effort to hide the emotion she was feeling.
Clarke turned around, she could no longer continue that conversation without looking him in the eye, even if it would make things worse and it would end up with her heart squeezing even more in a vice and raising the barriers that had protected her from finding it broken.
"Bellamy ..." she whispered, but he looked at him, interrupted what she was about to say and with a finger resting on her lips, he forced her to listen to him.
"No, Clarke. I spent six years feeling guilty, hating myself for leaving you behind and ... putting my life before yours. Yes, things have changed, I never imagined you were alive and yes, I am with Echo, but we both know that by the time our gazes met there was no other battle we would have lost but the one with ourselves "and he stopped to look at her, to try to understand if that girl with whom he had shared more than one life was the same one who had filled his dark nights and protected him from pain.
"Bellamy, I understand everything you want to say, I know what our past is, what we have lived, but ..."
"No, you just don't understand Clarke," he agreed, dropping his arms to her sides and then running his hands absently through her hair.
"We were a us even before we knew it, we reinforced that term more times than I would even like to admit and whenever we acted for an me or a you, it never really existed. Every thing done, every gesture done, every battle that we faced grew stronger until it got us right where we needed to be. Here "and she threw out those words with anxiety, tension and relief, especially because as soon as she paused to see her shining eyes she realized that for her it was the same as, they had never existed as two separate entities, but had always been one. .
Clarke hid her face in the crook of her neck, allowed herself to let go and wept as she hugged the man who had accompanied those years of loneliness, who understood her more than she was able to and ... that person who it made her feel part of something bigger and more important.
They didn't say any other words, everything stopped when they remained embraced under a starry sky, but even if it wouldn't have been said that evening, a different we was born.
Perhaps they would not have been ready to face it, they would have fallen more times than they would have been able to get up, yet that smile that appeared on their faces, on her expression and on her lips was indicating that they were there. Yes, there were but together.
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