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22.22% The Merc with a Mouth in DC (Rewriting) / Chapter 2: Chapter 02

บท 2: Chapter 02

*Swoosh*

*Swoosh*

*Swoosh*

In the gloomy city of Gotham, above the dark buildings, you could hardly see a dark silhouette passing each building swiftly at inhumane speed.

The dark silhouette would skillfully leap building to building without notifying the people and the passing police cars down below of its existence.

It would move so fast and would even dissapear for a moment, only to appear into the next building ahead. It would also make weird inappropriate posings everytime it leaped.

Obviously, this dark silhouette was none other than Dea-

"DEADPOOL~!!!🎵". He introduced in a high pitch voice with a singing tone behind it.

He's currently running out of the "crime scene", or so what the people here in gotham called. Cause... he's a serial killer, they said.

"Seems like we're already far enough in that alley huh. Let's stop on that building ahead shall we?" He said as he quickly inspected how far the next building is and found out that it's actually quite far.

But who was he? He's the merc with a mouth, surely he wouldn't be a bitch and cower right?

"Oh shut yer trap! Fine I'll jump!" He said as he then stepped back around five steps or so and performed a little stretch, finally ready, he raised his head and looked ahead as he manly screamed. "Maximum Effort!"

And made a dash of it as he then accelerated into his top speed and made a huge jump to get into the next building.

"I'll make it I'll make it I'll make it I'll make it!!!" He chanted as he's getting quite close to the next building.

"I'll make it I'll make it I'll- no, I won't make it!!!!" He yelled as he wasn't able to reach the next building and fell at the height of 50 meters!

"Kyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

The people of Gotham down below literally heard a scream of a poor little girl as they wondered where that scream came from as they then readied their phones to call the authorities to help the girl.

Crime in Gotham is everywhere, so the people of Gotham immediately came to the conclusion that there was currently a crime ongoing close by based from the scream that they heard.

It sounded of a girl, a bit hoarsed but still the sound of a girl.

*Swoosh*

*Thud*

A shadowy figure suddenly appeared on the building deadpool was trying to reach earlier, this figure stood up slowly as it then dramatically turned back and yelle-

"Fuck you author! If it wasn't for you! I wouldn't be having that little trauma when I fell in such tall heights! I swear I became gay for five seconds! Ohh! My fragile little heart!" He said as he dramatically gripped his chest.

"Author for fuck's sak-".

(A/N: *I would be muting him for a while as he keeps cussing*)

...

20 minutes later.

*Ahem*

"You must be fucking curious, especially you, reader. How the fuck would deadpool get easily scared of a 50 meters tall drop? Especially when you've seen him sky dive with the X-force in the movie? Well for that, we would be looking on the first day I arrived here, specifically, in this Universe". Deadpool said with a little bit of mystery in his voice.

Flashbac-

*Vrooooom*

"Huh? What the shit?! Who the fuck interrupted the flashback scene?!" Deadpool yelled after hearing a loud engine noise that seems to be getting closer and closer at the building where he was at.

Turning his head, he looked down below the building and saw the highway, but if he squint his eyes, he would be able see a car at the distance that was obviously more advance than the current technology, accelarating at an insane speed as it approaches the building to where he was at.

"That car seems familiar, scratch that, it's obviously batsy. How the fuck did he found me?" Deadpool asked himself as he then throughly inspected himself.

*Vrooooommm*

With the roaring engine that was clearly getting closer to where he was at, deadpool still seriously checked his suit throughly and after a while of searching, he indeed found something and took it off from his suit.

Looking close at it, he found out that it was a tracker at the size of a small button in a collar.

"HOLY SHIT?! When did this... but... Damn he's getting creepier as days goes by. This is really creepy, but what would you expect on one of DC's best stalkers? Haha! You fucking pervert!" Deadpool made an exaggerated look as though he was looking at the creepiest man as he yelled that at the closely approaching car.

The car seems to be accelerating more in speed and was really close to the building while it skillfully dodges the other cars in the road with so much ease.

As deadpool saw the car in full view, looking at it for a while, he can't help but mumbly complain. "This guy has a nice car, so is Tony. And I, get to fucking ride a cab and a scooter in my two movies, fucking shits".

Deadpool doesn't seem to have the intention to escape as he instead put both of his palms in his cheeks and watched the car getting closer and closer.

*Vrooom*

The car reached the building he was currently at as the top of the cool-looking-advanced car immediately opened while a shadowy blur of a figure then came out of it.

The shadow then took out a grapple gun that was strapped from its waist and aimed it high into the building.

*Pooowh*

The grapple gun then fired a hooked rope that allowed the shadow figure to swing his way up on the place where deadpool was currently at.

All of this happened in less than five seconds!

Staring at the shadowy figure, deadpool silently watched it as it made a landing while spreading its cape wide, like a wing to glide and land behind him.

Seeing that, Deadpool could not help but whistle as he then stood up and faced the figure.

*Clap*

*Clap*

*Clap*

"Batmobile, batsuit, hey should we call that a bat landing?" Deadpool playfully asked the shadow which in reality was actually Batman himself.

"You killed people once again!" Batman angrily faced deadpool and yelled at him with his deep voice.

"Tsk tsk, correction. They are not people". Deadpool swayed his index finger while his other hand was on his waist.

"What do you mean they are not people?!" Batman questioned with anger still apparent in his voice.

"Ohh? I don't know if you could still call those bastards humans if you witness what they did!" Deadpool nonchalantly said.

"And... I was also hired, that's why. I'm a merc remember~?" Deadpool proudly reminded batman of his occupation.

"You have no rights to kill people just because you wanted to! Worse, all the people that you killed for the past few weeks are all badly burned! You're the one who's not a human!" Batman yelled as he got ready to arrest Deadpool.

"Pfft, you know it's christmas today right? I could not probably tour the whole world in just a day like santa did. So I started a few weeks earlier and visit the kids that was on my naughty list. But I don"t give coals you see, I make them the coal". Deadpool explained, as though being the Santa this christmas was the most noble thing he ever did.

"You are crazy". Batman commented as he took out a [Batarang] and skillfully threw it at deadpool.

Deadpool seeing this, chuckled, as he immediately unsheathed one of his Katana and swiftly hitted the Batarang with the flat side of the sword, which made the weapon that batman threw, useless.

"Hey! Didn't your momma told you not to throw random things at people when they're speaking?" Deadpool asked batman who was staring at him under his cowl.

And then as though a thought dawned upon him, Deadpool innocently asked. "Ohh, were she dead already before she could teach you?"

Hearing this, Batman was totally incensed as he charged at Deadpool, intending to fight him head-on.

"Ohh, did I hit a soft spot?" Deadpool playfully asked as he unsheathed the other Katana.

Holding both Katanas with the both of his hands, Deadpool welcomed Batman's charged with a swift slash, aiming at his neck!

Batman scoffed as he raised his right arm to block the sword as his body was completely covered with his Tactical suit.

*Ting*

"Damn armor, why can't I have one". Deadpool cursed at Batman's suit.

Batman ignored him completely as he then held the sword in his hand and yanked it out of Deadpool's hold.

Deadpool though, just let the momentum pull him as he then readied let go of the sword when he was at a certain distance from batman.

Seeing that, Batman readied himself to knock Deadpool, but he didn't expect what happened next.

As Deadpool let his body be affected with the momentum from the pull, he let go of that sword and immediately punched Batman's head!

*Bam*

Batman took a step back from the punch, but Deadpool was still not finished as he immediately climbed Batman's body and locked his neck with his legs. Raising his sword, he intended to stab him on his exposed lower face.

Alas, Deadpool suddenly felt pain as he saw Batman stab the Katana that he dropped earlier in his thigh.

Taking his momentary distraction as a chance, Batman then threw Deadpool off from his hold on his neck.

"Fucking fuck, I thought you once said no guns and no swords? Why did you stab me?" Deadpool asked as he pulled out the sword from his thigh.

"I wouldn't be dying without putting you to prison first!" Batman retorted.

======================================

Join my Discord Server so we could talk about various ideas for the fic. [[https://discord.gg/tvXhVAepMT]]


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