บท 329: Clown scare
With a resounding boom, an explosion occurred to the left of Renly. The rushing blast wave surged forward, and before his brain could fully react, his body had already acted on reflex, moving backward to evade.
Countless fragments of foam and flower petals fluttered through the air, raising a cloud of dust that blurred his vision. Amid the haze, a figure could be vaguely seen rising from beside the couch. Like a tiger pouncing on its prey, it lunged forward, displaying a menacing grin smeared with blocks of red, green, and yellow. The chaotic colors blended together on the face, obscuring the features; eyes were no longer eyes, mouths were no longer mouths, only a vivid red on the nose, approaching in a ghastly and terrifying manner.
The twisted face expanded rapidly in Renly's view. He clenched his fists, assuming a fighting stance, ready to strike back at any moment. In an instant, tense muscles, agile movements, and a sense of danger combined without pause into an attack posture that was seen by the clown, who urgently hit the brakes. He extended his arms between them, creating distance, then began to step backward. However, he forgot that he was standing on a box on the low table. As he moved back, his knee collided with the box's side, causing him to lose balance and tumble clumsily to the ground.
All this happened in the blink of an eye, a mere breath's span, and the chaos quickly settled.
Everyone on scene gasped in disbelief, staring at the chaotic scene before them. Ellen's eyes widened, and she hurriedly stepped toward the clown, her voice trembling with concern, "Are you okay?"
"Oh!" The clown lying on the ground finally reacted, letting out a cry of pain.
Ellen hesitated, looking somewhat flustered as she glanced between the clown and Renly. She chuckled awkwardly, "Uh... he's our staff member. This was a specially arranged segment."
Renly only grasped the situation at this point. It wasn't an accidental mishap; it was a playful prank orchestrated by the show's production. The clown had been hidden inside the low table, waiting for this very moment to give Renly a good scare. However, he hadn't anticipated that Renly's reflexes would be so quick—rather than being frightened, Renly had immediately assumed a counterattack posture.
The audience was also taken aback, momentarily unable to process what was happening. The pandemonium in the studio had their brains turning in circles. After a brief pause, they looked at Renly's bewildered expression, then at the disheveled clown. As they recalled what had just transpired, a sense of amusement swept over them, causing laughter to erupt.
"Jesus Christ," Renly couldn't help but exclaim, quickly walking over in concern. He crouched down, gazing at the actor dressed as the clown. "I'm so sorry, really sorry." He inquired with genuine worry, "Are you okay?"
The actor, a somewhat skinny man around thirty, was currently massaging his rear end. Seeing Renly and Ellen before him, he quickly waved his hand, "I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" Ellen questioned skeptically. "The situation here seems disastrous."
"I'm sure," the man replied with a hoarse chuckle, nodding.
"Are you sure about the situation being a complete disaster, or are you sure that you're fine?" Ellen's inquiry provoked another round of belly laughter from the audience. Even Renly, crouching beside, couldn't help but smile.
The man helplessly shook his head. "Both, both."
Renly once again expressed his apologies to the man. Although the prank had originated from the man, his reaction had been overly intense. Clearly, the habits from the filming of "Fast 5" had not completely dissipated; in terms of bodily movements, he was prone to excessive force. In times of urgency, his reflexive counterattacks still echoed the memory of Hobbs' combat style.
Ellen patted the man's shoulder, stood up, and calmly addressed the camera from position three. "Clearly, we need a moment to rest and calm down. After the commercials, we'll take a closer look at the unexpected incident we just had."
The recording on set temporarily halted. The assistant director and the production assistant rushed over, anxiously inquiring about the man's condition. Feeling somewhat embarrassed, the man waved his hands repeatedly and assured them that he was fine. He stood up and jumped in place a couple of times, finally putting everyone's concerns to rest.
As they watched the actor leave the studio, Renly turned to Ellen, spreading his hands in a gesture of helplessness. Ellen, however, burst into giggles, "I love this kind of effect. I really do." It seemed that Renly's manager hadn't leaked the secret, ensuring the success of the prank.
Seeing Renly's speechless expression, Ellen then asked with concern, "Are you okay? After all, you were the one pranked just now. Our goal was to give you a good scare."
Upon reflecting on the entire process of the prank, Renly felt it was somewhat absurd. He had been scared by such a simple and juvenile prank. Indeed, the most classic and straightforward approaches were often the most effective.
Renly knew that Ellen frequently played harmless pranks on her show, but most of the time, the pranks targeted friends she was familiar with. After all, it was difficult to strike the right balance when joking among strangers. This was their first meeting, and Renly had been completely unprepared.
Renly tilted his chin slightly, a wry smile curling at the corners of his mouth. "Next time, how about you give it a try yourself?"
Ellen couldn't hold back her laughter, shaking her head repeatedly. "I'll pass on that. There won't be a next time, I promise, no more next time."
The crew quickly tidied up the scene, restoring order. The recording resumed.
"Welcome back," Ellen addressed the camera, "In case some of our viewers didn't catch up with the plot earlier, let me briefly explain. I arranged for a clown to give Renly a scare, but his full-on combat stance scared off countless nightmares." With a simple sentence, the studio erupted in laughter again. "Renly, are you always like this? I mean, so responsive and intense?"
Renly had regained his composure by now and smiled, saying, "Yes, always like this. Ever since I escaped from that coffin."
Everyone paused for a moment, then quickly caught on to his reference—Renly was talking about "Buried". The effect was undoubtedly unexpected. Before anyone could react, Renly continued, "You know, things like PTSD. Honestly, I haven't slept for a long time."
Despite his deadpan expression, his words were so amusing that the laughter, applause, and whistling from the audience surged. Inadvertently, the promotion for "Buried" was successfully accomplished again, and the previous awkwardness was deftly diffused, truly an impressive feat.
Sitting across from each other, Ellen also applauded Renly. It had to be said that this episode's recording was incredibly comfortable. She didn't need to worry too much; the whole process flowed smoothly, with laughter consistently punctuating the air.
After searching briefly, Renly spotted the camera with a red light on. "Jason, I apologize. You're a remarkable clown, but my reaction was too extreme just now. Here, I want to express my apologies again."
Jason was the actor who had portrayed the clown. Renly knew how hard their job could be.
"I'm quite sure I won't scare you from behind in the future," Ellen raised her hands in a surrender gesture, her face showing lingering fear. The audience burst into laughter at her jittery appearance.
Right at that moment, Ellen saw a toothy, clawed figure suddenly shoot up without any warning, rushing at her with an unexpected burst of speed and ferocity. Those eyes, radiant with greed and intimidation, caused her heart to contract. A shrill scream burst from her chest. Her feet landed on the sofa as she scrambled backward with all her might. But even as she retreated, the lingering unease wouldn't dissipate; her hands and feet trembled. She leapt off the sofa and fled in panic.
The audience was already laughing so hard that they couldn't catch their breath. The laughter continued until it seemed almost exhausted, and even tears were being wiped from the corners of many eyes.
Renly raised both hands, forming claws with his fingers, his expression fierce. Just as that person who had leaped up like a fierce lone wolf, moments ago. That person was Renly.
But Renly hadn't anticipated that the effect would be this good. Ellen had almost been scared out of her wits. Ironically, it was Renly who felt a bit embarrassed now. He froze in place, his movements stiff. He looked at the audience with a perplexed and innocent expression, as if asking, "Was I that scary?"
Seeing this scene, the audience found it even more amusing. Their laughter seemed endless.
After Ellen ran out and put some distance between them, she suddenly realized how absurd her behavior had been. She was holding onto her knees, laughing heartily, "Haha." The hearty laughter just couldn't stop. After adjusting her breath, she returned to her seat on the sofa. However, recalling her disheveled appearance earlier, she burst into laughter again.
The director on set was keen, and immediately replayed the short fifteen seconds on the big screen. Seeing Ellen's panicked and fleeing appearance, a fresh wave of laughter erupted.
Renly himself couldn't help but smile. Originally, he had just wanted to startle Ellen a bit, but he hadn't expected the effect to be this good. It had become one of the most hilarious moments since The Ellen DeGeneres Show began. This incident even made it onto Ellen's list of "Top 10 Embarrassing Moments". Even Ellen herself repeatedly mentioned it, self-deprecatingly referring to it as the biggest stain on her prank career.
Ellen rubbed her eyes and her stomach, truly laughing so hard that her abs were hurting. She looked at Renly before her, repeatedly pointing at her own chin, "You're a crazy fellow, I hate you."
Renly spread his hands, a completely innocent expression on his face. "I think Portia can breathe a sigh of relief at home." The implied meaning was that Ellen's exaggerated behavior just now was more of an indication of her inner repulsion and fear of men, indirectly proving that she still preferred women.
With a single sentence, Renly seamlessly connected this moment with the earlier humorous point. It could be described as a stroke of genius. Ellen was momentarily stunned, then burst into applause and laughter!
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