บท 33: Chapter 33: Fear
*
The Bible says : "Those who plow iniquity, and sow trouble reap the same.". Was that what was going to happen? In all the exterminations that were about to happen, as Alastor told you, would you be judged for your crimes a second time? What would happen if you were caught? What would happen to Nikolai, Boris, Charlie, Vaggie and all your friends if you couldn't survive? What would happen to the hotel? Alastor wasn't going to help them forever, no, he was going to leave and leave them at some point... You knew his kind too well, much too well...
The ride back to the hotel was silent, nobody dared to say anything.
Alastor's words were dancing in your head like an old broken record.
"Unpredictable exterminations could occur at any time of year."
You shivered as you walked through the hotel doors. Vaggie helped poor Charlie, who had not stopped crying silently the whole way, to sit on the couch. The moth girl went into the kitchen and prepared a glass of water for her.
Nikolaï, who still hadn't let go of your hand, looked at you and asked.
"Y/N What exactly is going on?"
"Alastor told me there would be exterminations at irregular intervals."
"Why? Normally it's happening at New Year's Eve!"
Charlie, who had heard the boy's question, answered in a torn voice.
"... it... it's... it's when purgatory is overcrowded."
"When it's overloaded? I don't remember being in purgatory." Said the child.
"Few people remember it, it's a very trying time, and often, with the shock of arriving in hell we forget that part," Vaggie explained as Charlie took a sip of her water.
"And how is it that purgatory is overloaded like this? "You asked, "They should be prepared."
"It depends, on earth there hasn't been a big world conflict for a while so it happens that purgatory relaxes its vigilance from time to time, besides, there is another problem," Vaggie continued darkly "The number of sinners keeps increasing from year to year, I don't think I need to explain to you why Y/N, you saw a lot of things when you were working in the mafia, didn't you?"
*
Oh yes, you had seen it, you had seen how crazy humans were becoming, how radicalized they were, how individuals were dividing themselves into several boxes, defending their own person, rejecting the opinions of others that did not go their way.
Sex was trivialized in such a way that the feeling of love disappeared at a glance, you sometimes saw people going out together just to look "cool", honesty had disappeared to be replaced by the law of being and appearing.
It was a real macabre theatre where the human instead of asserting himself, disowned and despised his own differences.
Finally, more seriously, humans had locked themselves up so much in pigeonhole that some burned down churches, mosques, synagogues and other places of worship without any ulterior motive, harassed and oppressed those who were different, and carried out mass killings in the name of an ideology.
Oh yes, how many horrors had you seen? People became blind and deaf, and those who were not, went mad, it was so rare to see someone who was completely sane because society would crush his thought until he comform its demands or lost his mind.
Everybody was tearing each other apart, women, men, young people, elders, religious, atheists, lay people, white and black people, and the list was still so long...
"I know exactly what you mean, Vaggie."
Vaggie looked at his feet sadly and then finished her explanation
"During World War II, purgatory became overcrowded, the angels in their great faith in God's creations could not have imagined that a second war would break out, the rules of access to Paradise became much stricter after that. So many people went to Hell that one extermination would not have been enough to regulate the population, so Mikael and Lucifer agreed to set up irregular exterminations for such cases, and thus regulate the population of Hell. There hasn't been one since." Vaggie turned on the television and went on the news. "A war must have broken out, or a global pandemic, I can't think of any other reason."
A pandemic? Yeah You heard about it on the news!
Everyone was watching television and to your surprise, it wasn't Katie Killjoy or Tom Trench presenting the show, but Vox himself, underlining the seriousness of the situation.
The television man didn't look comfortable either. He had a serious look on his screen instead of his usual sadistic smile.
Apparently he had already made his presentation because their was a picture of the demons watching the clock was shown in the background.
*
"Today an unpredictable news to say the least awaited the many demons in pentagram city, for the clock indicating the time until the next extermination has gone out of order and this can immediately bring back very unpleasant memories to the demons who survived the purges of the Second World War. Here are some archive images "
Charlie immediately looked away, as did Fos, Alastor had a broad, nostalgic smile on his face. As soon as the images and the few videos started to scroll by, your eyes widened. The images looked like they had been perfectly colored, but let's be honnest, you would have preferred that they stayed in black and white. Flocks of black angels with sadistic faces had thrown themselves on the demons that were still in the streets like an army of angry crows, it was a real bloodbath, as soon as this angelic wave had passed there were no demons left alive in the street, all of them had been killed, their torn limbs were lying everywhere. You looked on the left side of the screen and you noticed the date 05/06/1946, the image changed again and this time it was 07/16/1946 and then again 07/17/1946, each image that represented those days were all more horrible than the other. They were scenes of unhealthy bestiality, unworthy of the angels of the Bible you knew.
It was then that you realized that you were lucky when you arrived here, you could not have survived a wave of this kind ... No one could have survived a wave of this kind of violence ... No one ...
Suddenly Vox returned to the screen with a smile.
"According to our information, and according to the words of one of the counsellors of our sovereign Lucifer, this was due to an unexpected wave of souls in purgatory due to the arrival of a worldwide epidemic coming from China to the surface, the governments of several countries failed to react in time, resulting in the death of thousands of souls."
*
Alastor's smile had widened considerably to a point where you even asked how that was possible, oh that glow in his red eyes, he liked that, he liked what he heard and you couldn't hold back a little grunt of disgust when you noticed it.
So it was a pandemic. In a way, you weren't surprised, if it was a contagious disease, a lot of politicians would have been panicked about giving up their economy to protect the population... Your boss had always told you this:
"If life has taught me one thing, it's not to expect anything from the state when it comes to money" And even if you hated him, you had to admit he was right.
*
"As you will have understood, exterminations may occur this year at irregular intervals to reduce the population of hell to a more stable level. So if you want to survive, stay at home and only go out for the bare necessities, and don't be afraid, I pledge that you will not be bored under any circumstances! I'll see you in the next few days for an exclusive interview with the White Wolf, I'm waiting for you all. Immediately, meet Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench for a debriefing of the day's news in pentagram city after the break."Said Vox before the ads hit the screen.
Charlie looked completely despondent after hearing Vox's message, nevertheless, she took a deep breath and dried her tears.
"Ok ! We're not going to let ourselves get shot down, we're going to show heaven who demons can redeem themselves."
Vaggie wrapped her arms around Charlie's waist and gave him a determined smile, Nikolai, who had let you go, jumped with excitement.
"Yeah, it's gonna be so cool! "twittered the boy.
You, on the other hand, are just content to smile faintly as you look at him with a painful look. The child ran to warn Niffty and Angel about what was happening, Fos, Thénardier and Mirar had left, Boris had gone out to see Orso and explain the situation to him, he had also warned you that he was going to help the sinners in your neighbourhood to get supplies, that would give you more legitimacy as the boss.
Alastor on his side had gone to annoy Husk, and the girls had gone to Charlie's office to create posters for the hotel.
You were now alone.
*
You sighed and then you went to the kitchen for a glass of water. You'd been through way too much emotion today. Already the interview with Vox was stressing you out, these unpredictable exterminations were the last straw. You drank your water and stared at the empty sink.
You remembered the first day you arrived in hell, you couldn't really see what an extermination really was because you were arrived almost at the end. You were lucky enough to have three angels, already exhausted in front of you. But when you thought back to the exterminators you had seen in the pictures and videos you couldn't help but feel an unpleasant knot in your throat.
Oh Lucifer, if Boris was caught in one of those exterminations, could you help him? Could you save him? ...What if Niki was the one who was trapped? Would the exterminators spare him?
The morbid image of the bloody body of the little beagle surrounded by a score of exterminators, all smiling sadly, without the slightest compassion, at the lifeless body of the child.
Your glass slipped from your hand and crashed into the sink.
What if... the ones you killed were among the exterminators? Could you confront face them? What if one day it was your boyfriend or worse... your own child in front of you? Would they attack you? Would you be able to reason with them? Could they forgive the cowardly, rotten woman that you were?
Of course they wouldn't. No one could forgive you...
You began to hyperventilate and lose control of your breathing, you saw the image of the boy dying while he was still alive, there was nothing you could do to save him. And what about now? Could you save him? Or would you be as helpless as you've always been to save your own friends?
"I can't..."
Tears streamed from your eyes as your legs bent under your weight. Your breathing began to make a high-pitched sound that you could no longer control. In fact, you were no longer aware of anything. The sounds were distorted, your vision was blurred, all you could hear and see were the last moments of your friends, your father and your boyfriend. People that you loved more than anything in the universe, but that you couldn't protect every time...
You've failed every time, why would it be different this time, huh?
You put one hand on your head shaking as your free hand unconsciously scratched your face.
You were going to lose them, you were going to lose them, you were going to lose them all!
*
Small moans of distress came out of your mouth dripping with saliva as you knelt on the cold kitchen floor. You wanted to see your father, you wanted him to be there to comfort you as he had always done, or for BF/N to take you in his arms, but the only images you had of them, was an unhealthy image that your guilt had created, a gruesome image where they were on top of your bloody carcass, savoring your slow and painful agony.
"I'm so sorry..." you whispered...
"Sorry for what dear? "You heard. "If it's because you've dirtied the floor with your tears, don't worry. Niffty will take care of it." continued the static voice.
You blinked your eyes in confusion, your ears didn't clearly recognize the voice because it was as if they were in cotton wool.
You felt someone take you by the shoulders and gently massage them.
"Easy now darling, breathe for me." Said the voice calmly. You nodded your head, still trembling, and then you tried to regain control of your breathing, the voice encouraged you to continue, then gradually you began to calm down.
"Splendid my dear! Now I'm going to help you to stand up."
...Alastor?
You couldn't think about it for very long because you were pulled up on your feet and guided to a chair. Even though your pride had taken a hit when you realised that it was Alastor who was helping you, and that he had seen you in that state, you didn't feel like fighting, you had reached such a point of distress that you didn't care who was helping you.
Alastor gently took your chin in order to force you to look at him, which you did without saying a word, in fact, you were surprised to feel how warm his hands felt despite his gloves. Alastor squinted slightly at your downcast face, waiting for you to say something, but no sound came out of your throat. He made a small sound of disapproval and then gave you a gentle smile that you'd rarely seen in him, it was almost human...
"Wait for me here for a few moments, darling."
You nodded your head and waited. The deer rummaged through the cupboards but you didn't really bother to look at what he was up to, you just silently stared at the table. Suddenly a small white cup filled with a small orange liquid entered your field of vision, making you yelp with surprise. You looked at Alastor confusedly and he simply said.
"Drink, you will get better after that."
You looked at the cup again, then put your hands around it while Alastor took a chair in front of you.
*
"H-how did you know? "You stuttered as your hands warmed around the object
"I told you, having a moving shadow is very advantageous my dear! It was your shadow that came to me and explained the situation."
You blinked in surprise and then turned your attention to your shadow. You didn't have the strength to get angry with it, and Alastor was the only person who understood it verbally so she did the right thing by going to see him. In fact, what you didn't understand was why it decided to help you, it knew you hated it, so why did it do it?
"I see..." you answered without taking your eyes off it. "Thank you, I suppose?" you said, looking away. Your shadow then gave you a euphoric smile but preferred not to show its feelings too much in front of you.
"Well, if you have no more questions to ask," Alastor said with a smile, "I guess it's my turn."
You sighed before taking a sip of the mixture the deer had prepared for you. It had several tastes, you had recognized lavender, mint and chamomile, but for the rest it didn't mean much to you. However, you were sure of one thing, it was that this little herbal tea had a soothing taste and smell.
"What happened to push you in a such state?"
«...»
You were really hesitant to tell him about your fears, you were not at all comfortable, it was exposing one of your weaknesses to him... Although you suspected that he already had a vague idea of how to do harm... You timidly raised your still watery eyes towards him and then you began to talk.
"I'm scared, are you happy now? " you said painfully "I'm afraid of what might happen to my friends, I'm afraid of losing them in an extermination, I'm afraid of failing when I face that walking piece of trash TV, I'm afraid of seeing the ghosts of my past and having to face their anger... and I'm terrified of losing Nikolai."
Tears began to fall on your cheeks again, and you couldn't hold them back.
"I don't want to go through this again, I don't want to lose another child... I can't... it hurts too much." You said, clenching your fists, "I can't take this... not again..."
Alastor didn't say anything, he wet his lips, thinking of something to say.
"Well, I'm sorry, my dear, but you're really bound to fail if you reason that way," he said in the most brutal way. "How can you defend someone when you crying like that? Please don't tell me you think your big tears could soften Vox or an Exterminator! That would be the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen in my entire life ha ha ha ha!" laughed the Deer.
You bit your tongue as your fists clenched again feeling your anger bursting inside you.
"I know it! I'm not stupid... the trouble is..."
"Is what?"
"I wouldn't know how to react if in an extermination I saw BF/N ... my father, or someone I knew and I had to betray ... I don't know what I should do if they attack a member of the hotel or my friends ... I don't feel able to attack them again ..."
Alastor put one hand on his chin and then answered you honestly.
"Seriously my dear, if your winged boyfriend saw a child, would he kill him?"
"No!" You instantly replied, "Of course not! He would never do such a thing."
"Would your father or the friends you betrayed do it?"
"No..."
"Do you really think they would have joined the exterminators?"
"No..."
"Well, then you see? There's nothing to cry about darling. Besides, it doesn't suit you in any way, I prefer you with a smile on your face."
A little embarrassed by his compliment, you blushed slightly, but unfortunately, rather quickly, the doubt disturbed your mind again.
"...But what if I was wrong and I came across BF/N in an extermination or-"
"We would remake the world with "what ifs," sweetheart, and anyway, even if your white-feathered boyfriend tried to kill you, he would fail miserably, I can assure you of that..." His tone had become more threatening and his eyes had changed to radio dials as he spoke, freezing you almost immediately in fright. He returned to a normal face and then gave you a friendly smile.
"Stop thinking too much darling. Concentrate on the interview first. About your friends... well I don't think you consider them stupid, do you? Then let them do their job, you can't be everywhere," said the deer, tilting his head to the right, making his bicolored ears twitch in the process.
You nodded your head and took another sip of this hot drink.
"Do you like it? "He asked, trying to change the subject of the conversation a little.
"... yes it tastes very good... um what is it exactly? »
Alastor tapped his claws on the table as if he hesitated to tell you what it was, but after a brief moment of silence he answered you honestly with an almost non-existent radio filter.
"Oh nothing too surprising, it's an infusion that my mother prepared for my father every night to help him relax and sleep. It has a bit of everything in it, chamomile, valerian roots and various other plants. It helps reduce extreme nervousness and sleep more peacefully, the perfect drink for anxiety and sleep disorders if you want my opinion!"
*
Your mouth opened up a little. "Extreme nervousness"? "Trouble sleeping"? Why would his mother give this to his father? Why did he need it? From the look on Alastor's almost closed face, you sensed something was wrong, took your courage in both hands and asked.
"Why did your father have this kind of problem?"
Almost instantly you regretted asking that question, because the deer's body had tense up.
"Um, if it's painful, forget what I said, I don't often talk about my parents either, so I think it's fair. You smiled at him with a little embarrassment."
...
"For a variety of reasons darling, such as drinking problems, depression..." said the deer in a tone that made you react immediately. He was cold, his eyes gave off nothing at all, no unhealthy joy, no malice, no sadism. For a moment you felt as if you were looking at yourself in a mirror. He looked so cold, it was so unusual for him. His eternal smile was always present, but it didn't give off any emotion as well, it was like "stuck on his face" and nothing else.
A little pressure in your heart warned you that you were on thin ice, you could feel it. There was something wrong with his father. He had the exact same reaction you had when you talked about... her...
You tightened your grip on your mug and then you asked.
"What happened to make him like that?"
Alastor sniggered a little and then said.
"His desire to help others drove him to Europe where the incessant fireworks and guts of his allies overcame his ideals, he couldn't stand it."
Your eyes widened in the shock. Not just because of Alastor's statement, but because of his tone. Was he mocking his father? Judging by his cold and ruthless tone, you suspected as much. Then you realized
"Maybe it's good to live for others, but if you forget to live for yourself I find it boring and very sad because you're wasting your life."
That was it, that had to be it. His father had to join the American army to help the Allies during the world war I, leaving Alastor and his mother alone. He survived the end of the war, but at what cost? As Alastor said, he had witnessed the deaths of his friends in all that butchery and was certainly traumatized by so much violence. No wonder his father had a depression and was prone to many anxiety attacks.
The deer seemed to notice this little spark of pity in your eyes, he sudenly took on his mischievous look that you knew by heart.
"Mother and I had warned him! Too bad he didn't deign to listen to us! Because of this, he had to face and admit the sad truth, that when you give too much of yourself in a case, you will always be the biggest loser. It's so unfortunate it took him a war to figure that out ha ha ha ha ha."
You looked at him sadly as you felt all that animosity coming out of him. A thousand and one comments came to mind... but your instincts told you not to comment on what Alastor was saying, it was much too sensitive, it was a wound that was still painful and had not yet healed... and you, better than anyone, knew how dangerous it could be. Alastor wasn't the only one with a sickly grudge against someone, you yourself were no exception."
*
"And what became of him after that?"
"Oh, the same thing happened to him as we did to us, darling! What a silly question! He died of course! Ha ha ha, and I'm sure he's holed up somewhere in the corner of hell like a coward for fear that I'll find him and make him pay for what he did to my mother and me."
You remained silent in the face of his implacable tone, although the deer had an excited and "happy" face, you could feel the sickly hatred emanating from him. It was a cold anger that animated him, and for nothing in the world did you want to be in the shoes of Alastor's father, wherever he was.
"What makes you think he's in hell? "You asked
"What makes you think your dear and sweet BF/N is in heaven? "He replied almost immediately with condescension...
You were silent for a moment while you understood what he was trying to imply.
"He's always been good and generous around him, so to me he's somewhere in the heavens." You replied...
"Well it's the same for me darling, I know my father's place is here, never could a man like him get
into heaven... not with what he put us through from the moment he left for that stupid war..."
You felt some unpleasant shivers in your body, your curiosity wanted to know exactly what had happened so that Alastor would hate his own father in a such hard way, but deep inside you knew that it would rub Alastor up the wrong way, you could see it only with the appearance of spasms on the side of his head and hands. You'd reached the limit of what you could know.
You took a deep breath and finished your drink.
*
"Yes, I know what you mean," you calmly declared. Then with a tired smile you continued. "Thank you very much... for... taking the time to explain it all to me, you really didn't have to."
The deer blinked in surprise, as if he wasn't expecting that answer from you, no actually he was expecting another question but appreciated that you cut the conversation short. He tilted his head to the side again and smiled back at you.
Suddenly his ears frozed on his head as if he had just remembered something, he looked a little more serious as he picked up your cup and began to clean it. "By the way, now that I think about it, you should stay in a hotel for the night."
"Why should I? "You asked
"I don't think staying home alone is a very good idea, far be it from me to make you feel uncomfortable but you smell like alcohol and I don't think being around bottles right now is the best thing for you".
...
Was he fucking serious?! You felt your cheeks blush suddenly at this inappropriate comment, crossed your arms with misplaced pride and answered.
"I hardly drank Alastor." You defended yourself
"Oh, so why were you late then?"
...asshole...
You rolled your eyes with annoyance to signal to him that you were not going to enter into this fight already lost in advance, then you thought about his proposal. In a way, that stupid deer was right, you certainly would have had a drink or two ... or maybe five if you had gone home in your condition, and it wasn't the best thing to do. Plus you were really starting to get tired. Going out in your condition wouldn't have been safe...
You didn't know what Alastor had put as herbs in this herbal tea but it was enough to relax all your muscles in spite of yourself and make you want to yawn.
"You've won... " you said before you put a hand over your mouth to hide your yawn. "I'm going to tell Charlie." You said as you got out of your chair. However, Alastor beat you to it.
"Ho ho ho, what a silly idea my dear, why don't you go and settle down in a room? I'll warn our charming demon belle, that you've decided to keep us company for the night."
Your eyes stared at the deer's with astonishment, but you decided not to ask any questions. It was Alastor... there was nothing to understand.
"All right," you said as you turned your heels and prepared to exit. However you felt something was wrong...you felt a void inside you. Something was missing but you couldn't put your finger on it. You turned your attention back to the deer that was still looking at you with its cheshire smile.
"By the way, Alastor... "you paused and looked away with embarrassment. "Thank you for helping me to calm down."
*
Let's be honest, you would have expected him to just say "you're welcome my dear" but the deer did more than you thought. He gently grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards him to gently wrap his arms around you.
Your body stiffened in surprise as your head rested against his chest. Your mind was thinking a thousand and one things at a time, your thought was racing along, searching in vain for the answers to all the questions that had burst into your brain, you were so shocked that your body was paralyzed.
Your heart still sore by your fears and doubts was beating at full speed while his heart seemed so calm. Gradually, you relaxed and very slowly you wrapped your arms around him, closing your eyes to lose yourself for a few moments in that comforting moment that you so desperately needed in spite of yourself.
It was strange, you hadn't noticed it until now, but you no longer felt that unpleasant sensation when he touched you, it was quite confusing for you.
If circumstances had been different, you would certainly have stepped aside to slap him and then, run away to drown yourself in your work, but in this case it didn't seem to be an option.
Curiously, you felt good, and this could easily be proved by a gentle smile that had discreetly formed on your face without your consent, and by your ears trembling with contentment on the top of your skull.
The deer on its side had its eyes closed and seemed to be between here and elsewhere, its ears were in perfect sync with yours and a soft little white noise came from its throat, implying that it also enjoyed that little ... "Truce" between the two of you.
Oh he really couldn't stand seeing you like that... so pathetic, it was beneath you. No, no, no, no, no, you were above all that, he knew it! Sure, he liked this mania you had for taking things to heart, and he liked this visceral fear you had of failing, but not like that, not like that, it wasn't fun at all. It gave him an... an unpleasant taste in his mouth, like rotten meat, it was too bitter, it didn't suit him in any way.
Who was going to amuse him if you let yourself be so stupidly distracted? Hotel life would be really dull without your sharp tongue.
It was fun when he thought about it, you were an unforeseen in his equation for his plans with this hopeless hotel, and yet it was the best surprise he had hoped for! Nothing was easy with you, you were an enigma, not to say a real puzzle sometimes, your disgusting humanity, your annoying pride, and your senseless principles were sometimes enough to make him lose control. He had to find the right words every time to get a hold of you, but even if he succeeded, you were still unpredictable. That's what he loved and hated about you. That unpredictability coupled with the shadowy areas of your past that added just the right amount of spice to him to fully appreciate his contribution to the hotel.
Yes, you were a truly delectable blend of spices that he enjoyed tasting.
*
The deer let his chin rest on the top of his head while his fingers glided very slightly along your vertebrae to feel the shape of the bones. The demon was surprised to wonder if they were fragile... after all, the weight of your past seemed quite heavy to bear.
He didn't understand your fear of seeing your white-feathered boyfriend again. In fact, now that he thought about it, he felt something disturbing in his chest, it was something strongly unpleasant that he hadn't felt for a long time, even that mutt who was supposed to be your best friend hadn't made him feel such an unpleasant sensation. He hadn't felt that way since... since he had learned... that she wasn't going to make it.
His grip on you tightened slightly as he unconsciously breathed in the scent of your hair. He wasn't going to let that happen. Oh no, he wasn't going to let that angel take you away from him, or even divert your attention from him. You were his and his only entertainment. He wasn't going to let him touch you, no matter what his intentions, good or bad, and that went for Vox, Valentino, or anyone else who would try to take what was his.
He raised his head, then with his left hand raised your chin so that he could see your face. Oh dear, how exhausted you looked with those little bags under your eyes still a little swollen and reddened by all those tears that had been shed.
Suddenly his crimson eyes slipped to your lips without his knowing it. His breath got stuck in his throat as he realised what he was doing.
"Well,I'm very pleased that I could help you Darling! "Said the deer, suddenly backing away from you a few steps with a proud smile, however it was easy to see that this was just a front to cover his embarrassment... he didn't look at you for very long as he rushed to a cupboard to get out the ingredients he needed to prepare dinner and thus partially divert his attention from you.
You blinked several times to come back to your senses and then you realized what you had just done. The redness on your cheeks darkened slightly, you nodded your head and preferred to wear a small embarrassed smile on your face.
"Hum I guess I'll see you at dinnertime? "you stated rather awkwardly
"Indeed, my dear, don't worry, I'll go and see Charlie and let her know you'll be here, while you get set in your room." Said the deer as he looked at you out of the corner of his eye over his shoulder as he pulled out a pot.
You nodded your head and then with a "see you later" you walked out of the kitchen and headed upstairs to a random room.
You closed the door behind you and pushed a tired little sigh as you looked at the room you had chosen. It was a mix of royal blue mixed with silver tones. The furniture was made of wood, you even had a small reading corner next to your bed and your window gave you a beautiful view of the hotel garden.
*
Suddenly you heard some knocking at the door. You opened it and saw Niffty.
"Hey miss Y/N, Mr. Alastor told me you're staying at the hotel tonight."
You nodded your head
"That's right, but, uh... how did you find me?"
"Someone who's tired won't get up all those floors without elevators, so you had to be somewhere on the first floor, and if possible to a door close enough to the stairs. "The one-eyed demon had smiled at you.
" That's not untrue."
"Um... Mr. Alastor hasn't told me why you're not feeling well, but if you want to talk about it, you let me know, right?"
"I wouldn't miss it, Niffty."
The insect clapped his hands with excitement...
"Oh my gosh! I almost forgot! "She took some clothes out of the cart she had with her. "Here, take this, you'll be more comfortable sleeping."
It was a little white nightgown. You took it and thanked the little one-eyed devil, Niffty greeted you and went back to work. On your side you took a little hot shower to clear your mind and then you put on your nightgown on you, however you also put on your pants so that your the nightgown was seen as a T-shirt, it would have been impolite to have dinner and be already in pyjamas while everyone was still dressed.
*
You settled down on your bed and you could almost have fallen asleep at once because the mattress and blankets seemed so soft and silky, but unfortunately you knew that have to join the others downstairs.
You took a few minutes to put your thoughts in order about what had happened in the kitchen with Alastor.
Now that you were thinking coldly, you were quite mortified that he had seen you in that state, but at the same time surprised that he had wanted to help you so kindly. He even took the time to talk about his past with an open heart. You would never have imagined that he would do such a thing. He was not the kind of person to talk about his life, talking about the past could expose many weaknesses as well as expose his fears, and yet he had done it.
Strangely enough, now that you knew more about him, you understood his reasoning a little better. He was still an enigma at times, but less and less.
You lay on your stomach and put your chin on a cushion.
His relationship with his father was no excuse for what he was, but explained many things, including his reluctance to give too much of himself for the well-being of others. Alastor didn't do anything for others, not if he helped someone it was because he had something to gain in return. But curiously enough you didn't really feel this willingness when he helped you. It was present, but you felt something sincere when he told you about his past, and he had nothing to gain when he talked about it.
It was really weird to see that another part of him... heh... why were you surprised? You looked at your shadow with a tired but friendly look on your face. You too used to have a very different face than you do now, and in spite of yourself, you had shown it to him a few times, no matter how much you wanted to forget that part of yourself... pretend it never existed, yet that desire was in vain... as long as BF/N was out there somewhere, that part of you would exist and haunt you as it had always done.
"Seriously, my dear, if your winged boyfriend saw a child, would he kill him?"
You put one hand on your belly as a picture of you and your boyfriend popped into your head.
No. BF/N would never do that. You're slowly straightening up. Alastor was right, maybe BF/N might have some resentment against you ... but he would never hurt a child, he loved life far too much to take it away from a little being like a child. He would never hurt Boris either ... he was a great friend to him. No, he would never hurt him, and he would never be one of these exterminators. He was the exact opposite of what those so-called "angels" were...
You yawned and stood up. It was time to go downstairs to join the others, after the dinner, you will be able go to bed in order to rest and prepare your interview.
For the moment, this was the most important thing, Boris had taken over to take care of your neighborhood, Nikolai was protected in this hotel, Charlie was preparing herself for facing the next exterminations with the help of Vaggie and Alastor, so you had to concentrate on your task, and show Vox and the people of hell that this hotel was far from being a joke. You looked at the Bible that Charlie had given you and laughed.
*
God help you if he believed in it.
*
*
*
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