บท 7: Chapter 7 : A fragment of your past
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You quickly went to the hotel entrance. You wanted to get away from that Radio demon as soon as possible. Once you reached the ground floor you noticed that Charlie was talking to Vaggie and a little girl with one eye, she was wearing a pink dress with shades of yellow, the whole thing reminded you of the outfits of the 1950s.
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"Maybe it's Niffty," you thought.
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"Oh, it's you Y/N"
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You simply gave her a friendly smile and your attention immediately turned to the new face in front of you.
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"Oh, this is Niffty, our maid."
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Niffty looked at you a moment and her expression changed. Her smile had widened and it was quite disturbing, however you didn't feel that she could be dangerous for the hotel or for you.
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"Kon'nichiwa! So you're the white Wolf? I've heard a lot about you. I'm really happy to meet you, I'm sure we'll get along well! "said the girl
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You were surprised by the fact that she could speak Japanese but replied amicably
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"Watashi mo sō negatte imasu Niffty"
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The girls looked at you quite surprised at your accent. Niffty gave you a smile and went back to work quickly. You gave Charlie your notes and vaggie took the opportunity to question you.
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"Do you speak Japanese Y/N ? "asked Vaggie.
"A little bit, I can speak English, French and Russian, I also have some knowledge of Italian, Spanish and Japanese. I had to learn the different languages of the world for my job", you explained
"I see" she said, "And with Alastor? How did it go?" she asked slightly worried.
"I'm not going to say we're the best friends in the world, but we finally got along. "you explained to her calmly.
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Vaggie crossed her arms with a puzzled expression.
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"Did he say anything special? »
"No. To be honest, we almost killed each other at one point." You laughed.
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Vaggie's expression suddenly faded, but before she could say anything, you interrupted her.
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"Don't worry, we've made up our minds to don't do it. It wouldn't have been good neither for him, nor for me, nor for the hotel, we knew it very well. At least He's less stupid than he looks, I can recognize that." You joked with a slightly acid tone. "I will continue to work with him if it's necessary. So I'll be watching him, with that, I'm killing two birds with one stone" You said with a wink.
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Vaggie gave you a rather undecided face but before she can speak, Charlie screamed and jumped on the spot, while reading your notebook.
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"OOOOOOOOOH Y/N IT'S WONDERFUL!"
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You exchanged a confused look with Vaggie. Decidedly, sometimes you had a hard time understanding the young princess' overwhelming enthusiasm.
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"Look at all this Vaggie! "she said, giving him the notebook.
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The white-haired girl began to read with curiosity, her face gradually changed until it became the personification of astonishment.
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"How did you manage to write all this down ? "She asked you
"I worked in the hotel business when I was still alive for a while. So I know a little bit about how it works and what we need. Alastor wasn't bad for decoration, he also helped me a lot for the party room. "you explained
"Oh, really? You work in the hotel business Y/N ? "
"Um, yes, it's one of the many little jobs I've done."
"What else did you do? "asked Vaggie.
"Oh um... well, I worked in delivery, in the hotel business, as a waitress in a restaurant, I had to sing and play an instrument in a bar, I also worked as a librarian, as well as a cashier, I also worked slightly in plumbing, tourism, or in the field of education with young children..." You had a slight sad tone when you mentioned education but you quickly changed the sound of your voice to a more neutral tone. "I was also a florist and finally worked for a while in accounting and selling objects or merchandise."
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Charlie's eyes shone with admiration.
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"Oh really? Did you do all this Y/N? »
"Um yes, however it was over short periods of time, my real job forced me to play multiple roles"
"But it's incredible! You're like a chameleon"
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Okay, you were a little embarrassed this time.
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"Charlie, you're embarrassing me, really... it's not that extraordinary."
"Are you're joking! I think it's remarkable of you! It must have been really hard for you to adapt to so many jobs."
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Your expression slowly broke down, Charlie lost her smile and noticed that she probably had said something wrong.
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"Oh, Y/N, Did I say something wrong?"
"Nothing... it's nothing" you replied in an icy tone.
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Feeling that tears were filling your eyes, you said with a forced smile.
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"I'm going to get some fresh air. I'll be right back."
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Without waiting for another answer from the two girls, you went outside the hotel and slammed the door behind you.
With all the long-forgotten emotions that had overwhelmed your mind, you hadn't noticed that a deer demon was listening carefully to your conversation at the top of the stairs.
Vaggie and Charlie looked at each other.
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"Vaggie, what did I say?"
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Vaggie looked at her sadly and answered honestly
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"She said that her real job forced her to play multiple roles, and in my opinion I think her boss' intentions were far from "remarkable".
"Oh, do you think she might have worked for a criminal organization or something like that? »
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Vaggie nodded. Charlie looked at the door with a compassionate look.
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"I don't think so, Charlie, I'm sure."
"I don't see her entering into this kind of organization of her own accord Vaggie... She must have been forced to join it. »
"Maybe," said Vaggie.
"Seriously, I'm sure she could have been a nice and respectable person in her life."
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Vaggie looked up at the ceiling
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"You and your damn habit of seeing the good everywhere..." However, she smiled. "I can't say you're wrong." She said, adjusting her ribbon in her hair.
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Charlie's smile returned to its original place on her face.
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"Thank you Vaggie, now what can we do to make her smile again?"
"Mmmmh, what if we invited he out to take her mind off things?"
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The young princess's eyes lit up again at her friend's suggestion. Without warning, she hugged Vaggie.
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"That's a great idea Vaggie! What would I do without you?"
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The girl in white was surprised but she also hugged her. A slight blush had appeared on her cheeks.
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"You're welcome Charlie." She said.
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While the 2 friends were talking, you sat on the steps of the hotel. You were playing with your hair desperately trying to think about something else. But the words of the princess stayed in your memory.
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"Extraordinary?", "Remarkable?" "You repeated it out loud. You clenched your fists in anger as tears ran down your face "Poor fool... All these jobs cost so many people lives..." you cried.
How many "friends" had you betrayed with these jobs? How many? How many? HOW MANY LIVES HAD YOU DESTROYED?!
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"Why Y/N! I thought you were our friend!"; "Y/N! Y/N! Please don't kill us!" ;"You traitor! We trusted you!" "CURSE YOU Y/N" ; "Why did you take my children from me Y/N? WHY?!"; "I WANT TO SEE MY MOM AND DAD! Y/N Where Are My Parents!? I WANT TO SEE THEM!";
"I sincerely hope you go rot in hell Y/N"
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You immediately grabbed your head to cover your ears. Yes, you betrayed them all, all of them... And life made you pay a hundred times over.
You cursed yourself. Why did you regret your actions? Why did it hurt?! You had always ignored the words of your victims, you had always managed to not to feel guilty and to continue your morbid routine.
Why has everything changed since you heard that girl ? Why since you knew her and Vaggie, you felt these emotions so long repressed ?
For a moment you wondered if this was your punishment.
Why Hell couldn't have been more... "inhuman"? Your life here would have been so much easier.
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Why did it have to hurt? Why? Why?
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"I'm not a good person... I'm not a good person" you repeated in your mind.
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Suddenly, you heard the front door open. You quickly dried your tears, and you turned around to see the source of your problems in front of you: Charlie and Vaggie.
The princess gave you that empathetic look that you hated.
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"Y/N, I'm really sorry if I hurt you. That was really not my intention. »
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You gave her a black look and got up.
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"Why?" you asked.
"Why what?"
"Why are you being so nice to others?! I don't understand! Where does this blind and unreasonable empathy come from? "you shouted
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Vaggie growled as you shouted at Charlie, but the young blonde remained very calm and answered you with kindness.
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"Because I know that there something good in all of us. Many demons just need help in order to try to become a better person. Y/N, I know you can be a better person, you just need-"
"NO!" you screamed angry, making her slightly move back because of your aggressive tone. You grabbed your head by shaking, pulling violently your hair. "I can't... I can't... I can't... not after what I've done... I can't ! Why can't you just understand this? I can't !"
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Charlie looked at you for a moment trying to find the right words to convince you, but she knew you were just going to be more agressive. She sighed as a sign of defeat.
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"Well Y/N, if that's what you thinking, I respect your choice."
"Really? "you asked quite surprised
"Yes, if that's what you thinking... I can't force you to change your point of view. »
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You watched her stunned. You were going to say something, but Charlie cut you off.
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"Well, let's forget about it by going out for a while, shall we? »
"I agree" says Vaggie.
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The two girls turned to you waiting for your answer. You hesitated for a moment but finally accepted. You didn't want to be on bad terms with Charlie or Vaggie, even if their kindness wasn't something you understood, you promised you would help them and you would keep your promise.
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You went to a little bar and talked about everything and nothing, then The Princess asked you about your work with Alastor. Vaggie already knew the answer, but you answered with humour.
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"mmmh... well... we got along mortally well on the hotel's plans"
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Vaggie laughed slightly at your remark, Charlie gave you a confused expression.
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"Mortally?"
"She means that they almost killed each other at one point but they managed to get along. "explained Vaggie to him
"Oh, okay, I see. But without trying to be indiscreet, what happened between the two of you? Why do you hate each other ? "
"Well, to be honest, when I got to hell I killed a guy in a bar because he had territories, and at the same time I killed almost the whole bar on because that bastard tried to drug me in order to rape me. I know I lost a little bit control »
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Charlie's expression froze, you couldn't tell if she was a little disappointed, angry or just outraged.
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"I left a certain Mimzie alive, and in exchange, I asked her to talk about me, it was a way for me to make a small reputation for myself. However, I hadn't considered the fact that she could be a good friend of Alastor" you say with a fake amusement.
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Charlie's mouth formed a small "o" showing his surprise. Now she had her answer on who was the person who hurt you.
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"Okay, I see... but why didn't you tell me that? I wouldn't have asked you to work with him if you had informed me of this."
"I thought it was better so, moreover I didn't really mind it" you lied with a big friendly smile. "I can continue to work with him, there's nothing to worry about."
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No, there was a big problem with the smell and food with him, nevertheless you didn't want to disturb them with that, besides, you knew that in a way, it was better for you to watch him. Don't we say "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer"?
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"It's fine then, but if you ever have a problem you can come and talk to me or Vaggie about it, we'll see what we can do. »
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You nodded as you finished your drink. Once again, the two girls in front of you were kind and attentive to you. You looked at them for a moment while tapping the sides of your glass and then you said.
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"I was working in a mafia. »
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There was a moment of silence. Your words were so sudden that both girls were caught by surprise, they didn't expect you to talk about your life.
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"Excuse me?" asked the princess. Vaggie, on the other hand, gave you an encouraging smile.
"Do not stop me. "you asked seriously. You didn't know why you were talking about yourself, you always hated it... What was wrong with you?
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Stop, you're making a huge mistake! Shut up! Shut up! Talking about you is only weakness! Shut up, you fool! What the fuck do you want? Comfort? Have you lost your mind? You only help them for a period of time, you're going to leave and you're never going to see them again once your stupid promise is over, what's the point? Stop it! Stop it!
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"In my life I worked for the mafia in my neighborhood. Indeed, I had to find money to pay off the debts we had at home. Unfortunately, my father was an alcoholic and couldn't find a stable job.
He worked for a while with the mafia and I had to take over when he became too weak to do the tasks the boss gave him. At first, I was only asked to do espionage, whose number of jobs I was able to do in my life. I had to play with the feelings of several judges so that they would spare useful partners for our group. I was asked to deliver packages... then after... it became bombs... or organs taken from innocent people including children... the list is very long... That's what my job was." You explained
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Charlie's mouth had opened slightly, Vaggie's was chocked.
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"Jeez Y/N it must have been so complicated for you, I'm really sorry"
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You looked at the princess with confusion. Even after that story she still looked at you with the same empathy. You didn't understand... You ignored that feeling of disgust deep inside you and just nodded.
Strangely, being honest has done a lot of good to you. It was as if a weight had left your shoulders, of course it wasn't the whole story, but it was a beginning.
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"I thought you should know..." You looked at Charlie again this time with a cold, emotionless look. "Charlie, I have betrayed people who could have been great friends, I have destroyed entire families with a simple bomb, I have mercilessly tortured innocent people, I... I've killed children... I don't deserve to be forgiven. My place is here, not in heaven, I think you understand me now, right?" You sighed "I sincerely apologize for getting upset earlier, it's really not my style to get angry like that... I was really on edge"
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The princess nodded and gave you a smile
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"Indeed, I understand your Y/N reasoning better , thank you for telling us about it. However, keep in mind that you can become a better person, I mean, look at what you are doing today! You help us with the hotel, you do your work with great precision, and you try to be pleasant with everyone. »
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You gave her a little embarrassed smile. That's right... she had a point in a way.
However you didn't know yourself if this so-called "kindness" you were showing was sincere, you weren't sure of much about yourself anymore....
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"Yes, but I'm only helping you because it's a way for me to repay a debt I owe someone."
"Oh and so, can we know who this person is? »
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You froze and shook your head from right to left.
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"No, I don't feel ready to talk about it. Maybe next time. »
"Take your time Y/N. We have all eternity" Vaggie laughed.
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You also laughed at her remark and then went back to the hotel.
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"Thanks for the evening, girls. It felt good to talk a little."
"You're very welcome Y/N, we enjoyed it too"
"What are you going to do now?"
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You thought about it for a moment and then you answered
"I'm going to take a nice shower, then I'll see."
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